


Bad at Love

by taeatemysoul



Series: How To Love You [1]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Kim Seokjin | Jin are Best Friends, Kim Namjoon | RM Being an Asshole, M/M, Mentioned GOT7 Ensemble, RA Kim Namjoon | RM, Resident Kim Seokjin | Jin, Self Confidence Issues, Slow Burn, Sope, Strangers to Lovers, Taehyung is attached to Namjoon, chaotic - Freeform, jikook - Freeform, namjin - Freeform, taejoon, taekook are roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2020-10-27 21:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 132,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20766899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeatemysoul/pseuds/taeatemysoul
Summary: “You do know why I am here, right?” Namjoon stood by the table, staring at the food.“You smelled the food and you’re hungry. Don't worry, Seokjin is here to save the day.”OR“I know that you're afraid I'm gonna walk away. You were the one that could finally fix me. Lookin' at my history, I'm bad at love.”[Song: Bad at Love - Halsey]





	1. Love don't come easy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, 
> 
> We have been working on this fic for a really long time and we are so excited to finally share it with you! 
> 
> Please leave comments to let us know what you think! 
> 
> We made a playlist for this fic, you should check it out!!  
Click [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/chandrapaulkelly/playlist/191f39OuKUPodGXv9yOins?si=qg6Dz7zuTMmUIHZ5PZyHSQ) for playlist.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RA Namjoon meets his new residents.
> 
> Seokjin isn't too fond of his new RA, or his outfit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning* This fanfic contains a few harsh topics and mature scenes.
> 
> Hello Namjin lovers, 
> 
> Welcome to the first chapter of our fic, we are having such a great time writing this fic. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do! 
> 
> Please feel free to comment, we love getting feedback!
> 
> Song Recommendation: Intro by Khalid

Namjoon’s POV: 

*August*  
Taehyung is a bitch and when I mean a bitch, I mean a little bitch. Some people are assholes and some people are jerks but this guy, he is a bitch. He complains all the fucking time and acts like he is the queen of the fucking college. He once wanted me to carry him to his classes because he didn’t want his velvet shoes to get wet by the snow. First of all, who the hell sells velvet shoes? Second, why would you wear velvet shoes when there was a snowstorm the day before? He ended up giving me the silent treatment when I denied him of my carrying services. 

It lasted till I gave him a cookie.

We have been best friends since freshman year when we met. He was in my geography class and didn't know where the Pacific Ocean was. I thought he was joking, and I started to laugh, but he kept this serious face on and was not laughing back. I don’t know how we became friends after that and stayed friends for this long. It was probably because he then realized that he didn't understand how to read a map and I had to answer all of his questions. We ended up hanging out together slowly, so I guess that is how we became friends. He is lucky that I stayed with him or he would have not made it through the first semester.

My dorm room door flew open and in walks the little bitch, carrying a box. I watched as he sits on the floor, opens the top drawer, empties all my belongings into a messy pile and began placing his clothes neatly. I am offended. Who does he think he is? If he wants a drawer, he could have at least taken the bottom drawer. I don't know in what world he thinks it is okay to come into my room and give himself a drawer in the first place. 

“Is this the next step of our relationship?” I finally spoke after minutes of watching him pull out a never-ending amount of clothing from his box. 

He turns around and grins, “The next step is you fucking me in the ass.” 

I rolled my eyes and got off my bed, heading over to my desk to continue my door tags. It is my senior year and my last year of being an RA. I am hoping to god that this year is easy. The past year of being an RA was a blast. I met a lot of great people who are now good friends of mine. I have a lot to do when it comes to preparing for grad school along with my regular class, so having laid back, well-behaved residents would be perfect. 

I continued writing names on my shoe-shaped door tags. “Are you excited to meet your new residents’ tomorrow?” Tae asked me, coming over and flopping his fat ass on the desk almost knocking everything off. 

“Yes and no, I sort of regret not giving up being an RA because classes haven't even started yet and I'm drowning in so much work,” I replied spinning my chair around a few times. “You’ll be fine, you can handle anything,” Tae said comforting me.

“Okay well, can you please leave now? I did not want to live with you for a reason, so that means you are not welcomed here at any given moment, especially once my new roommate moves in tomorrow.” 

“I still can't believe that the love of my life does not want to share a room with me again. Was it the constant cuddling, because I said I would stop?” 

“No, more like your aggravating snoring” I smirked not looking up from my name tags, knowing that he is insecure about his snoring.

“Why are you so mean to me?” I could hear the pout in his voice, “Also, why are your tags in a shape of a shoe?” he asked picking up the door tag with the name Seokjin on it and made a disgusted face.

“My theme is, put your best foot forward,” I answered, grabbing the door tag out of his hand and adding it back to the pile of finished ones.

“What does that even mean?” 

“It means do your fucking homework that is due tomorrow instead of getting so drunk off your ass that you think that the big white round thing in the sky is Jesus,” I say hinting at that one time in freshman year.

“LAME!” Taehyung screamed before jumping off my desk, picking up his box and heading towards the door, “You really shouldn't leave your clothes on the floor like that, they will get wrinkly.” he said pointing at the mess HE made before exiting. 

Like I said, what a bitch.  
________

I stood outside with Jinyoung, another RA, while a crowd of people walked around us. We had to be up really early this morning so we could start getting things ready for move-in day. Residents have been arriving since 8 this morning. Jinyoung and I decided to give ourselves our break since we are covered in sweat and don’t feel like going up the stairs for the 50th millionth time today. Why does it feel like all of these residents live on the top fucking floor and why does all of their luggage feel like it is just full of rocks? I feel like they did it on purpose at this point. I want Tae to jump out of the bushes and yell “Prank!” Anything to keep me from having to go up those stairs anymore.

“So, this is really your last year?” Jinyoung asked shaking me out of my thoughts. “Yeah, I came here knowing I would graduate early. It’s sad leaving you all, graduating with you guys would have been nice, but there’s no reason to stay,” I answered while watching this poor resident carrying all these bags in by himself. I would have asked if he needed help, but I don’t feel that bad. From what I did already he can make one trip by himself.

“That is exciting though, you get to move on with your life unlike some of us who are stuck here for another year just getting broker and broker. I can’t wait for when I graduate and be that person in the dramas that people swoon over.” 

“Yeah, I guess. You just don’t know how fast time really pass till it does is gone. When you become famous, though remember me. Introduce me to your hot co-stars as well. You would really do this guy a favor.” I grinned and he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

\------- FLASHBACK -------  
No seriously, he should really do a guy a favor. I was never the one to be loud about wanting to be in a committed relationship, but honestly who doesn't crave that shit? When I first got to college I was with this girl, Jiyoo, we met in high school and hit it off right away. She was my first girlfriend; everything was so fresh and new. I loved it. She was my first everything and nothing can replace that. However, towards the last few months of high school, I could sense the burn out of our relationship. We forced ourselves through it during the summer. We did our normal hang out all day, go on random dates, had way too much sloppy sex. But it just wasn't the same. Then I came here, things were great, but then I decided to go out one night, my first time out as a college student and I fucked up. I fucked up so badly. 

Jinyoung had lived on the same floor as me my freshman year, my roommate later became a really good friend of his, but we had a fall out before we could even get close. The three of us decided to go out. I got a little too drunk for the first night out. All I remember was being way too close with my roommate, then all of a sudden, we were back in our room making out on my bed. The night was a blur, but it opened up a whole new side to my life that I never thought twice about. 

Where I fucked up was answering my facetime call from my girlfriend while drunk, getting sucked off by my roommate, huge hickey on my neck. At that time, I definitely wasn't thinking straight, it wasn't until I woke up the next morning to banging on the door. I jumped up from my sleep, naked in my bed, with Mark laying next to me sound asleep. I quickly pulled on some pants before heading to the door. I didn't expect Jiyoo to be standing there. Raging. She pushed herself into my room, “You’re a fucking piece of shit! If you didn't want to do this anymore you could have just told me!” She shouted. She stood in front of me close to tears and I had nothing to say, no way to explain myself. I saw myself in the mirror and felt disgusted, not for what I did, but hurting the person I was supposed to love, supposed to be in love with. 

“Baby, I-” I began, but was quickly cut off. 

“I don't need excuses, I don't want to know, Namjoon. I don't want to be with you anymore. Fuck you and whatever bitch you decided to fuck last night like I wasn't good enough. We were away for 2 weeks. Fucking 2 weeks apart and you couldn't keep your dick in your pants?” 

“No, I swear. I don't think about anyone else; it never crossed my mind. I only want you.” 

“Well, I don't want you. I already could sense the change in our relationship. I just thought you, out of anyone in this world, would be a decent enough human being and break it off in the right way, not cheat. Also, you're fucking stupid, who the fuck answers the phone while they are having sex?” Jiyoo keeps rambling on, while I had my own panic attack going on. I fucking slept with a guy. I didn't even know I was into guys. Maybe it was the alcohol. Yeah, it was definitely the alcohol. It had to be.

All of a sudden, Mark sat up in my bed, “You guys are fucking loud” he said before hiding under the covers again. 

I saw the light bulb lit up over Jiyoo’s head, her eyes widen, mouth dropped, lip quivering. “I knew it” she mumbled before turning on her heel storming out. “No- wait, baby, stop stop,” I said running after down the hall. “Don't Namjoon, I fucking get it now. You’ve always been, I didn't want to accept it, I brushed it off so many times, now here I am looking like a fucking fool” 

“What do you mean you always knew?” I am seriously confused. How could she think that I was gay when I wasn’t? Did I act gay? How do you act gay? I just had too much to drink is all. I wasn’t gay. There is no way. She just stands there looking at me like I am a dumbass and maybe I was, but none of this was adding up. “No really, tell me because I don't fucking know myself. I don't know,” I said before breaking down in tears as well. I slid to the floor, hiding my face in my knees. I didn't expect her to comfort me, but I didn't expect her to be so cold, after three years you would think she would try to calm me down, but that is not what happened at all. 

“Fuck you! Figure yourself out, but don't go stringing along with other people. Don't make someone else look like a dumbass. It doesn't matter who the hell you slept with, you cheated regardless, I won’t ever forgive you for that. Good luck on your fucking life you piece of shit” she yelled at me, then left. That was the last time I saw her. The last time I had heard from her.

I ran back to my room and woke Mark up, to sum it all up, I ended up accusing him of coming on to me which led to the end of a friendship that didn’t even have the chance to begin. Mark and I exchanged a few unfriendly words before he finally moved out a week later. I see him around now, he's still friends with Jinyoung. We say our friendly hellos when needed, but we never discuss that night.  
\------ END ------

Jinyoung laughed with his usual hand cover his mouth. “I will definitely help you out with the ladies. What kind of a bro would I be? Do you know where you're going to school yet?” 

“No, not yet, but hopefully somewhere a hella lot warmer than here.”

“Yeah...New Hampshire is really not a forgiving state in the winter. I am surprised that people don't get frostbite more often around here. You would think it was an epidemic or something.” 

The conversation was sadly interrupted by my name being called, I turned around to find a smaller guy with blonde hair and blue tips. The blue is actually flattering on him. He wore ripped jeans, a white t-shirt, and flannel over it, with black boots. 

“Hi, you’re Namjoon right?” he smiled. “Yeah, how can I help you?”  
“Oh, I’m Jimin, your roommate, I just wanted to find you before I started moving my things in. I asked around and someone pointed you out.” 

I smiled, “That’s fine, I am sorry my side is a mess, I have been busy getting ready for the semester, but I usually am not that much of a slob.” 

“No, no worry, I have dealt with much worse over the years, anyways, I will head up now. See ya later.” He said slowly walking away waving. I waved back then turned to Jinyoung, “Break is over” I said, and he sighed before heading over to some new residents to help them out. 

After a few hours of helping people move in, I made my way up to the third floor, my floor. I had to go around telling everyone about the mandatory floor meeting before I forget. I quickly ran to my room to grab my clipboard. I saw that Jimin was almost done unpacking. “Hi, I will be back shortly, it is sort of a hectic day, sorry. I don’t mean to be rude.” 

“No, it is really fine, you are doing your job.” He smiled then continued hanging some posters up. I decided to stop in the first room, right across the hall.

The door was wide open anyways. I knocked on the door before entering and shouted a friendly hello. A man with a hot pink and black button-up shirt walks out of one of the rooms. He had ripped black jeans on and a black cap as well. Not going to lie, that shirt was probably the most hideous thing I have ever seen. I usually don’t judge a man by his style, but this shirt reminds me of a grandma’s couch pattern. 

“Hello, I’m Namjoon, your RA, and it seems as though you have the honor of living across the hall from me,” I said trying to lighten the mood since he seems to have been upset by my existence. 

“Is it laundry day for you?” He asked. I know he didn't just insult my outfit choice right now. The audacity of couch boy. 

“Uh- no we just moved in why- oh never mind, I uh didn't catch your name?” I asked trying to switch the topic back to what I had originally come here for. 

“Seokjin” he replied dryly

“Okay well, Seokjin, there is a mandatory floor meeting tonight at 8 pm, let your roommate know. Thank you!” I said before heading down the hall to the next room.

I continued meeting my new residents. They all so far seemed really cool for the most part. I ran into Hoseok, also a new resident of mine, on his way in with a pile of boxes. I offered to help him, but he insisted on doing it himself. Something about trying to get his roommate to feel bad and start helping. All while doing this, I tried pushing couch boy out of my head. Something tells me that this might be a rough semester because of him. 

I finally finished spreading the message that there was a floor meeting tonight. I have about 20 residents that I am in charge of, so hopefully, I can make some new friends with at least a few of them. Everyone seemed nice and chill, well except one, but we are not going to talk about that person right now. I am exhausted and just want it to be nighttime so I can sleep, but duty still calls. I get a couple of hours break before the floor meeting, so I decide to go to my room and actually introduce myself to my roommate and see what he is actually like.

When I got back to my room Jimin was listening to Usher and putting the final touches to his side. I looked at my side and compared it to his. Not only does mine looks like a mini tornado came in and threw my stuff everywhere, but mine doesn’t have the mellow vibe that he is giving off. My side seems more serious and nerdier. I brought a shelf for my textbooks and figurines that I collect. I don’t have many of them to really call it a collection, but one day I will have more. I just buy them here and there, nothing too serious. I have some posters on my wall as well. Some of them are maps and landscape pictures and others are quotes from famous politicians that I look up to. If that doesn’t make me nerdy enough, there is also a big whiteboard calendar on the wall next to my bed where I put all of my obligations and due dates. The best way to explain my side is kinda plain and messy as well. I really needed to tidy up before he starts resenting me. 

Jimin’s side is a tad different from mine. He has a blue, grey theme going on and it’s very neat. The posters on his wall are dance-themed and have command hooks that are holding a few hats. His side is definitely cozier than mine as well. His bed looks soft as a cloud and has a super fuzzy rug. He must really like shoes because he has a storage thing to keep his shoes nice and neat. His desk is kinda plain though unlike mine. He has only the essentials for school and there are some family pictures. I wonder what his major is, to be honest.

“How is it going?” I asked him.

He slightly jumped before smiling, “Hi! It’s going, I'm almost done with decorating my side,” he said as he continued hanging up a few pictures. “Did you meet all of your residents?” he asked me. 

I nodded, “Yeah, there is a meeting in a few hours, so I can formally meet everyone there, but as of now, I have at least seen everyone.” I answered him, I began tidying up my side. I started with my desk, that is usually where I do most of my work so having that clear will at least help the situation. 

“Where did you live before Windsor?” I asked Jimin.

“I actually transferred here this semester. The dance program was not as good at my old school, also this is a little closer to home.” 

“Oh cool, well I think you will love it here, except for the food, but there are tons of restaurants in town that you should try, I can show you around sometime. I mean if you want me to of course.” 

I did not want to force him to hang out with me but as of right now it does not seem as though he doesn't have anyone else but me. I'm sure he can tag along with Tae and I until he finds his own crowd to hang around with. 

I honestly thought of the devil too soon because before I knew it Tae was standing in the middle of the room flipping out. 

“I am devastated!!! So, my roommate is some loser sophomore and he won’t shut up about sports, even though I told him numerous times that I do not care nor will I ever.”

I opened my mouth to protest, trying to tell him that he should not be so harsh but there is no stopping Tae at this point. 

“He looks like some muscular bunny. Tell me how can a bunny have muscles like that? I will tell you why! It is because he does track and field and guesses what, he fucking swims too. NAMJOON you know how I feel about pools.” 

I rolled my eyes, Tae has a strange fear of pools because he does not find it sanitary since many people use it but in my defense, I think it is the same as the ocean, the ocean is worse, yet he has no problem going to the beach. “Perhaps you're attracted to him?” Jimin said in a questioning tone. Tae stopped talking after realizing that there is another person in the room beside him and myself. 

“Namjoon, why is this highlighter speaking to me?” He spat, definitely offended by the thought of someone thinking he has a crush. 

I sighed heavily before replying, “Taehyung, stop calling people rude names. I bet your roommate is not that bad. Just give him a chance, will you? And this is Jimin, my roommate. He just transferred here, and I was going to have us show him around.” 

Taehyung starred at Jimin for a little while before speaking, “So you're the replacement.” His eyes trailed down Jimin's body. Did this guy ever learn manners? “Well, at least you have a good sense of fashion, unlike Mr. RA here.” He said and I scoffed. “What is wrong with what I am wearing?” I asked, pulling my beanie down on my head. 

“Everything” both Taehyung and Jimin answered, causing Tae to laugh. “This might actually turn into a friendship,” he said to Jimin, who gave a cheeky smile back at Tae's comment. I am not too sure how I feel about this friendship anymore. 

Jin’s POV: 

“You can at least help me,” Hobi said, who has been my best friend since his mother popped him out and I just happened to be in the room. He just came back into the room after his fifth trip of getting our luggage and placed the load down onto the floor. We came here together in my car that we share when we are at college because we are those friends, and no one can beat us.

“I would, but these hands are not meant for lifting heavy things, they are precious gems,” I said holding them up. “These babies have to teach the generations to come.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Hobi said leaving huffily again to grab some more bags. 

We are currently moving into our new room in Windsor Hall at New Hampshire University. Last year I lived off-campus but decided that for my senior year I wanted to enjoy the true college experience one last time. It is crazy to think in a year instead of moving back into a dorm room, I will be setting up my very own classroom, eager to meet my 30 students. I snapped out of daydreaming of all the different ways that I could decorate my classroom and began unpacking my things that Hobi kindly brought up. 

“Hello!’ I heard someone shout, I came out of my room and some guy stood in probably the most ridiculous outfit at the doorway of our new dorm. He wore black shorts, with a pink and white striped shirt with a black beanie and knee-high socks. 

I bit back a laugh looking at his outfit. Did a five-year-old girl dress him? “Hello, I’m Namjoon, your RA and it seems as though you have the honor of living across the hall from me,” he said grinning, making his dimples pop. If that is his idea of a joke, then he needs some serious help. His bad humor was not enough to take my mind off his clothes though. 

“Is it laundry day for you?” I asked, hoping that, that may be the reason why he decided to pair those socks with that shirt. 

“Uh- no we just moved in, why- oh never mind, I uh didn't catch your name,” he said a little flustered and confused.

“Seokjin,” I said, and he smiled, “Okay well, Seokjin, there is a mandatory floor meeting tonight at 8 pm. Let your roommate know, thank you!” He said before heading down the hall to the next room. 

“I have the honor. More like he has the honor of living across from the great Jin” I mumbled still taken aback by his choice of outfit. Hobi would have nightmares from seeing how ridiculous he looked.

“Weirdo stop talking to yourself,” a small, but a raspy voice said. I turned around to see Yoongi standing in the doorway. 

“Yoongi!” I shouted, the thought of that terrifying outfit slowly leaving my mind. “Are you done unpacking already?” I asked.

“Yeah, doesn't take me all day like it does for you ,” he said judgmentally. I was about to make a snarky comment but got interrupted by my whining ass roommate, “Okay Jin, you really need to help me bring the rest of the things in,” Hobi grunted as he walks in with boxes piled high not really being able to see anything. 

Yoongi quickly grabbed some of the boxes before they fell which would have been even more agonizing to clean up. “Half of this shit is yours; you have way more clothes than you ever wear,” I protested, deciding to finally help both of them out by grabbing a box. I placed the box down and examined the items inside. I saw something that looked like a harness but was too scared that he might make me wear it if I asked. 

“Yeah, well with the life of a fashion major and best friend of a man who dresses like that, I need options,” he said gesturing to my outfit. I didn’t think my outfit was too bad. Yes, I did just put on anything I could find this morning since most of my things are packed away, but definitely not as bad as my RAs. At least I looked like a presentable human being, unlike some people who clearly did not look in the mirror before leaving their homes. “If we are judging outfits, then you need to see how ridiculous our new RA looks,” I said. What was his name again?

“Oh, Namjoon? Yeah, I spoke to him, he seems cool” Hobi said.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at this statement. The thing with Hobi is that sometimes he is too nice for his own good. He gives everyone a chance, but I, on the other hand, wouldn’t even give most people the time of day, especially if it was a hideous dresser. “You find everyone cool,” I said, going back to unpacking.

At the rate things are going, we will never be settled in. I wanted to get most of my packing done tonight so tomorrow I could enjoy my last day of doing nothing. This semester I start my block schedule which means I have 3 classes on Monday, but each is 3 hours long and teaching for the rest of the week. Along with all my clubs and my job on campus. I will be dead at the end of each day and won’t be able to go out with Hobi and Yoongi. Well, at least not as much as I did last year. 

“Yoongi can you at least help?” Hobi asked his boyfriend of almost 2 years. We met Yoongi during my second year here, Hobi’s first. I had to take a fine arts class and decided on audio, which Yoongi was in. He’s a music industry major and this guy can talk for hours about music, but nothing else. If it’s not music, he’s probably not speaking, just judging you silently. I am not too sure on how he ended up with Hobi, the person who never shuts the fuck up. I concluded Yoongi is good in bed. I insisted on getting dicked down for the sake of science, but that idea was shut down on the spot. But I am sure he is good in bed. He has to be if he got Hobi to stop sleeping around and fall *gag* in love. 

“No can do, Love” Yoongi said before flopping down on our couch. I chuckled at Hobi’s devastated facial expression.

“You two are pathetic human beings” he huffed then left the room to make another trip.  
_____

It was currently 8:05 pm and I know the RA had said that the meeting started at 8 but I cannot turn off Mario Kart right now. Yoongi and I are neck in neck for first place. Hobi is a lost cause, he still is in 11th place and we have one more lap to go. “Okay, but after this, we have to leave, I am sure he is waiting on us,” Hobi said not really paying attention to the game anymore, he knew he lost and there really is no point in him trying anymore. 

“Hoseok, we’re fine, I am sure we are not the only ones who are not there yet. Who cares anyway?” 

“Who cares? Jin, we should have been on time or maybe even a few minutes early.” 

“It really is not that serious. We are just a few minutes late anyway, no biggie.” 

Hobi stood pouting, he suddenly let out a loud sigh and shifted closer to Yoongi. “Hobi, seriously we are almost done - AH AH AH YOONGI WHAT A BITCH, FUCK YOUR TURTLE SHELL!” 

Yoongi grinned, still not taking his eye off the screen, “Yoongs” Hobi whined, he wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist then leaned in and whispered something that causes Yoongi’s eyes to widen. 

Hobi leaned away smirking as Yoongi paused the game, “Hobi is right, you guys should go, we can play another game after.” 

I scoffed, “Fucking couples,” I said standing up heading towards the door, Hobi not too far behind. Yoongi decided to come along. His hand in Hoseok’s hand, the annoying couple followed behind me to the third-floor lounge. 

I was the first person to enter the dead silent room. The RA looked pissed, “Nice for you to show up,” Namji, I think that’s his name, said. He has such a feisty side, kinda hot. Too bad he is an ugly dresser, but he did change into something that matches this time. Hobi looked at me like he wanted to strangle me. I shrugged; they both are taking this way too seriously. I sat down on the empty spot on the couch. Hobi took the floor right in front of me.

“You must be Yoongi?” Namjoon asked and Yoongi nodded, “Yeah, sorry I live on the first floor, but I usually hang out with Hoseok and Seokjin,” He said. “No worries, you actually missed your meeting, they were looking for you, but it is not a big deal. Stay for this one and you will be counted” Namjoon smiled. I chuckled, he has no issue with Yoongi missing his entire meeting, but I show up 10 minutes late and the tension is so thick in here I could cut it with my dick. 

Namjoon cleared his throat before starting his boring lecture. “Okay let’s get down to business. Welcome back! I hope you all had a nice break. I am looking forward to getting to know all of you. I will warn you all that I am in the middle of applying to grad school, I have another job at the library besides this one, I am taking a few extra classes in order to successfully graduate early, and I would like to have a social life so keep in mind I am busy, but I am willing to put in the effort to be friends with everyone.” Wow, what an overachiever. 

“I do take my job very seriously; I will not put up with childish behavior. Speaking of the rules, take note of the R(M)ULES on the board” He said. RM rules? I questioned in my head. Is that supposed to be a joke or something? 

“My friends call me RM, get it RM rules? No? Okay, it was worth the shot,” He said chuckling at his own joke. Just wow. This guy will never stop surprising me with his horrible humor. “I will quickly go over them. Most people here are not over 21, that means no alcohol, but honestly, just do not let me see it. I do not want to be writing reports for bullshit. Like I said, I am busy.

I am also not your mother, I do not want to be cleaning up after any of you guys, so keep the bathroom, hallway, and trash room clean. The janitors here don’t get paid enough, nor do I. 

After 11 pm on any day is quiet hours, this means no screaming, no loud music. However, still, be respectful at all times of the day. That means no running in the halls, no playing in the halls, no spanking lines, etc. And yes, that has happened before. 

Unfortunately, we do not have a kitchen in this building, however, that does not mean we can bring in hot plates or anything of that sort. It is a fire hazard. If I catch you with one, I will have to take it, sorry. A few years of microwaveable ramen is not that bad.” 

I honestly could not take his tone anymore; I pulled my phone out and texted Hobi. 

Me: you’ve got to be kidding me, his R(M)ULES?? 

Whoreseok: it is ridiculous, but stop texting me, focus

Me: I am focused. Glad he changed

Whoreseok: His outfit was pretty bad. I dress my dog better than that

I snorted out loud at Hobi’s last text causing the attention to divert over to me. “Is something funny?” Namjoon asked, “Uh- I finally got your RM rules joke,” I said biting the inside of my mouth trying not to laugh. 

“Wonderful” Namjoon said, the sarcasm rolling off his tongue, he was not amused, but I could not help the grin that spread across my face once he looked away. “Anyways, there is not much more to go over. Follow the rules, my door is always open for you guys, do not forget to sign the sign-in sheet before leaving. Thank you, let’s kill this semester!” He said joyfully as people began exiting the room. 

Hobi and I quickly signed our names and made our way back to our rooms. “That RA is such an ass don’t you think?” I asked looked behind me asking Hobi, but all I saw was him pressing Yoongi against the wall, his tongue lost in Yoongi’s mouth. What the fuck did I miss? 

At that moment, Namjoon turned the corner, he looks at Hobi and Yoongi then quickly looked away. I couldn't read his facial expression. Did he look sad? He looked up and met my gaze, I saw him rolls his eyes and walk into his dorm room. Such an ass then I too headed back into my room. I thought he wanted to make friends, but I guess not. It’s not like I wanted to be his friend anyway.

Namjoon’s POV:  
“Those two are LIVING out there” I heard my door swing open and Tae, again, walks in. Jimin snorted but kept his eyes locked on his phone. 

“It’s as though they aren’t 5 feet away from the bedroom,” I mumbled. I am definitely not jealous. Nope. Not one bit. 

“Oh, let them be,” Tae said getting onto my bed. He rested his head on my stomach. I sat up leaning against the wall. 

“How are things with your roommate?” I asked and Taehyung scoffed, “If they were any better, would I be here right now?” 

I chuckled, “You met him like 7 hours ago, give him a chance” 

“I think I could say the same for you towards that Seokjin guy” Jimin chirped from his bed. 

Taehyung sat up, his mouth spread into a huge grin, “Exactly, now tell me what about this guy gets you so worked up? Is he smarter than you? Do you, perhaps have a crush?” Tae ended his list of questions with a wink. 

“I never said he gets me worked up, also I do not have a crush on him. I just met him, Taehyung drops it,” I mumbled.

Tae laughed, “Okay fine, what made you so upset though?” 

“I don't want to come off as harsh, and I definitely was a little too rude during the first meeting, especially towards that Seokjin guy, but he came late and dared to not even pay attention.” 

“No offense, but these meetings are bullshit” 

“I know they are; I am just doing my job. All I am asking for is for everyone to help things flow easily. Why make something as simple as that so difficult?” 

Tae nodded, “I get it, but is there anything else bothering you?” Tae gave questioning eyes

“No, just have a lot going on,” I said causing the younger to nod again. 

“Can I spend the night here?” Tae asked, he rolled off my stomach and made himself more comfortable on my bed. 

“No, get out,” I said shoving him off the bed, he landed on the ground and Jimin let out a small laugh. 

“The disrespect,” Tae said, standing up and fixing his shirt. “I guess I will see you tomorrow then,” He slowly walked out of the room being extra dramatic, probably hoping I would change my mind but that is not happening. 

Once Taehyung leaves, I look over at Jimin who is still putting away a few smaller things. He notices me watching and he smiles, “So, how long have you guys known each other,” He asked. “Almost three year, we met during freshman year. I don't get to see him much over the summer since we live a few hours away from each other so that sucks. Once I graduate, I am not sure how often I will see him” This was something I did not want to think about.

Meeting Taehyung was the best part of being here. I would not have survived without him. He makes my days better, whether he knows it or not. I love and appreciate that weirdo so much. He has helped me through some dark times and now I am terrified to have to deal with certain issues on my own at grad school. I know he will be a phone call away and he will always be there for me because that is what best friends do. It will be hard not getting to see him every day and having him keep me on my toes with the problems that he has. He gives my life that little excitement that it needs.  
“Yeah, you guys seem pretty close, but he’s cool. I like that he just says whatever he is thinking,” Jimin said. I snorted, “You won’t like it for much longer, he gets a bit harsh, but I’ve learned to ignore him” 

Jimin laughed, “I am sure we will be fine. Plus, I can stand up for myself if need be.”

“If it ever gets too bad, just let me know and I can rein him in”

“I will, thank you”

“So, you are a dance minor? That is pretty cool. How long have you been dancing?” I ask

“Yep, I have been dancing for my whole life, it feels like. I think I started classes around 8 years old, but I would dance around my house when I was little. It took my mom a while to finally sign me up for dance classes. We were tight on money and mom didn’t want to waste money on something that I was not good at or wasn’t going to take it seriously. There was a couple of times where I got frustrated with it and wanted to quit, but she always reminded me that she did not waste all of her good money because I was too lazy to continue.”

“Wow your mom must be really supportive”

“Yeah, she is. She is my number one fan. Always making sure I stick to the diets when need be and making sure I practice when I need to. Even here, she will randomly call to make sure I am where I am supposed to be. It has paid off in the end though. I love doing it and I have a summer job in my old studio where I first started teaching the younger and older kids dance. It pays very well, and it keeps me in shape.”

“You really have to diet and all of that? That must really suck.”

“Yeah, not really anymore. When I was doing competitions, which I still do here and there, but not as much due to school, I would not be able to gain more than a couple of pounds before I had to lose it. The only thing that comes before dance is school, according to my mother. If I have to gain a couple of pounds to get good grades, then my mom would happily feed me mash potatoes.” 

“Yeah, my mom knew that I would never be an athlete. I am way too clumsy, and I would probably kill someone if I didn’t kill myself first. She made sure that I was a straight ‘A’ student. I didn’t get to do anything really during middle and high school, but here I still get good grades and I actually live here. Thanks to Tae again. If it was not for him, I would have made the library my home.”

“Awwww that sucks. I guess we have the same moms. They should get together and talk about how it was a struggle of making the perfect child and show embarrassing pictures. My mom can also share her super-duper healthy recipes she forces me to eat that has only ten carbs in it and zero sugar and fat. She complains when I complain saying that it tastes like shit, but she won’t eat them herself”

“How about we don’t do that. I like my mom’s cooking and she doesn’t need these new ideas in her head. I definitely would not be able to live as that” Jimin laughed at my last statement, by now we were both tired and ready for bed. Classes begin tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it, but I have to put on a brave face, especially when I am around my residents. They can’t know what their beloved RA is already falling apart. 

“When is your class tomorrow?” I asked Jimin who was now finally changing into some pj's and heading towards his bed. 

“My first class is at 10, but I have to get up around 8 and go practice this new dance because you know, that dancer life is some much fun and requires zero sleep. How about you?” He answered, crawling into bed and hiding under the blankets. I followed his actions. “I have class at 9, so I will be getting up at 8 with you because being a good student also requires zero sleep as well.” 

Jimin mumbled something about me being right, but he quickly fell asleep right after. I shut the light off and laid in bed. Tae and I would usually talk for hours before falling asleep. Tae would probably be in my bed, cuddling me, our fingers intertwined, and legs linked. Damn it, I might actually miss having Taehyung as a roommate. Shocking. Jimin doesn't seem that bad though, he seems pretty cool and if he can handle Tae then that is even better because there is no getting rid of him, it's not like that was an option anyway. In my books, Tae isn't going anywhere for a very very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Please let us know! 
> 
> This chapter was mostly used as an introduction to most major characters. 
> 
> We hope you liked it!


	2. You gon' have to learn how to change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon really isn't fond of his new residents, especially ones that can't keep their alcohol down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading. I hope you enjoy the second chapter! Please leave comments on here or on twitter! It is appreciated, we love getting feedback! 
> 
> Song Recommendation: If You Want Love by: NF  


*September* 

Jin’s POV 

I personally never had an issue with school starting before Labor Day. I loved the fact that I could move in, go to class for a few days, then get another few days off. I spent my days off doing nothing, just like I am doing right now. Except this year I feel like everything is going much slower. It is probably just because I’m a senior and I just want to graduate already. 

I’ve been up for a few hours but haven’t moved from my bed yet. It took all my energy to roll out of bed and head towards Hobi’s room. I missed my best friend, even though we still do so many things together. For example, live together, but Yoongi is always here, so we don’t get alone time that often anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love them together, I just for once in my life realized that I want to be in a relationship. Seeing them together makes me upset, upset for not being able to let myself find love. If you knew anything about me, it would be that I LOVE love, but for me, myself, and I, a relationship was always more of an inconvenience. I was and am too busy. My focus should be on school and soon my career. Not a man, not useless fights, not unnecessary reasons to spend money, just not all the negative things that comes with a relationship that would hold me back. The good things of a relationship never seemed important enough. I was better alone. I am better alone. 

I swung Hobi’s room door open to find him lying in bed with of course, Yoongi. I folded my arms and pouted. Yoongi and Hobi looked at each other and then to me. “Do you need cuddles?” Hobi asked me and I nodded. Yoongi shifted over a little and we somehow managed to get three grown ass men in a bed made for a very small child. “Can we please go out tonight? I really am in need of being wasted,” I asked. 

“Is that even a question,” Hobi said. He’s going to say it, he always says it and every time Yoongi and I want to throw him out the window. “It’s Saturday, you know what that means,” Hobi grinned. 

“Baby, I love you so much, but every time you say it, I am truly disgusted by you” Yoongi said and I nodded, “Super disgusted. It’s an old joke and only really stuck up frat guys uses that dumb line,” I argued in favor of yoongi.

“Both of you get out, you are no fun,” Hobi said shoving me away, closer to Yoongi. I wrapped my arms around yoongi, “Why are you dating him?” I groaned.

“He paid me,” Yoongi said, smirk on his face, eyes closed, hoping to get some more sleep which will definitely not be happening. Hobi scoffed and shoved us both harder which caused Yoongi to slip off the bed pulling me down with him. 

Hobi’s laughed fill the room, while we both laid there in pain. “Saturdays are for the boys” He shouted before jumping off the bed, his knee landing in my no zone and elbow accidentally hitting Yoongi in the face.

“HOSEOK!” we both shouted, from the pain. 

I take it back. I do not miss my best friend. 

The three of us spent the day not really doing much. Yoongi surprisingly stays here way more than he does in his room. We did offer him to live with us, but he insisted that he didn’t want to intrude on best friend time, how ironic. I usually do not care. I am happy that Hobi is happy. I am glad that they both are. They didn’t have it easy at first. Every relationship has problems and dating Hobi means quite a few problems. 

Hobi didn't think he deserved a relationship. The thing with Hobi is that he thinks him sleeping around meant he was not good enough for anyone. He really believed he would just sleep around for most of his life. I do not know in what world he thought that what he was doing wasn't normal. All he had to do was open his eyes a little wider to see that in college, EVERY guy sleeps around. He wasn't this horrible person he made up in his head. He spent most of his time pushing Yoongi away once they officially got together. For Hobi, secretly hooking up was normal, he knew how to play that game, the cards were in his favor. The second it became real; he became a coward. He is a sore loser in the game of love. He fortunately has a man who loves him so much to let him go at his own pace, to help him learn to love himself, to help him realize that he is enough and caple of not only giving someone the love they need, but also capable of being loved by someone.

Yoongi, comes off as this hard core badass, but is actually the softest man on the planet. I think he wears a leather jacket to intimidate people. He’s a genius. It works. That is why it took me awhile to speak to him. Getting to know Yoongi was fun. Over the years Yoongi and I have definitely gotten closer. He was still my friend regardless of him hooking up with Hobi. We just never really gotten the chance to fully develop things on our own because they take up so much of each other’s time. Like I said before, this never really bothered me. I am busy. But I can't help but wonder what would feel like to have a person, your own person. Someone that waits up for you to get home, someone who knows you better than you know yourself sometimes, someone who can detect the way you’re feeling by just the look in your eyes or the smile on your face. Hobi was that person, still is, just not the same. I didn't need a boyfriend, I had hobi. Hobi now has Yoongi and I have myself. 

Finding out about Hobi and Yoongi was a very interesting thing. Something I didn’t disapprove of right from the beginning. I mean it was a little unexpected, more than a little actually, but the more I thought about it, the more I realize that this is exactly what Hobi needs, this is the man who can flip Hobi’s world around. I at the time didnt know I needed to find one to flip mine as well. 

\------- FLASHBACK -------  
I had invited both Yoongi and Hobi to my room. I wanted my two good friends to know each other. It was the ideal situation for me. What I didn't expect is for them to already know each other. I turned the knob of my door and to my surprise they were both already here. Also, to my surprise, Hobi had Yoongi pinned against a wall, his mouth attached to Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi’s face definitely showed enjoyment and pleasure, maybe a little too much for a room that was not owned by either one of them. I slammed the door behind me and switched the lights on. They both flinched and detached themselves from each other. 

“I see you’ve let yourselves in,” was all that I could manage to say, a smirk placed on my lips. Any other person might be upset that their friends were hooking up at their place, but me, I was nowhere near upset, more like shocked. What shocked me the most was how different these two men were, yet they clearly shared a common goal. 

“He made me do it” Yoongi said, eyes still wide open, cheeks still flushed. He pointed his small finger at Hobi who bright red from was getting caught. “But Yoongs, you wanted me to” Hobi said smirking back at the shorter man. 

“Oh, fuck that shit, how, what, when, where, DETAILS!” I shouted, hurt that this was never mentioned to me before. Some fucking best friend.

“Okay well, we met at the bar one night and basically have been hooking up since then,” Yoongi said. “I did not know that the Hobi you were talking about was Hoseok” he said sounded guilty. 

“Yoongi, it is fine. You did not have to tell me who you were hooking up with. BUT HOSEOK, you on the other hand, you always tell me about your hookups why never this?” 

He shrugged, I watched as he sat down on the couch pulling Yoongi down to him. Yoongi sat on his lap, Hobi’s hand gripping his waist. “It was something I wanted to keep to myself” He said, and I squinted my eyes. “Keep to yourself? SINCE WHEN” 

“Gosh Jin, can we not discuss this right now” Hobi groaned. 

I watched the two interact, Yoongi looked at Hobi to calm him down, rubbing his hand on his shoulder. Yoongi gave a shy smile to Hobi and kissed him temple. “I'm gonna go, you two need to talk and the reason I came was to meet your best friend who happens to be my boyfriend, so I don’t need to be here any longer, see guys later.” Yoongi said standing up. 

My jaw dropped, “BOYFRIEND, HOSEOK, I AM SO OFFENDED RIGHT NOW!!!” I shouted. 

Hobi slowly slid off the couch and laid on the floor, burying his face into the carpet. “Seokjinn” He groaned in discomfort. The door behind me shut meaning that Yoongi was gone. I dropped my stuff and sat on Hobi’s back. “Hoseok, why didn't you just tell me” I asked quietly. 

“Because, it wasn't supposed to be serious, but then it became serious and my ‘boyfriend’ has only been my ‘boyfriend’ for two weeks.” his words were muffled because he was still hiding his face. 

“Listen, whoreseok you dont have to hide stuff from me. Sometimes we sadly have to give up the hoe life for someone who means something more” 

“Don’t call me whoreseok, especially not in front of Yoongi,” he said shoving me off of him and sitting up. 

“There is nothing to be ashamed about this, you know, you slept with a lot people before, who cares. He is still with you right? He still lets you fuck him, right?” 

“He actually, I mean sometimes yeah, but he actually” Hoseok could barey choke the words out. 

“Oh, my little Hobi finally gets his ass hammered” I laughed very amused by this information. 

Hobi pinched my arm really hard, “Sorry! Hoseok, there is nothing you couldn’t have told me. I am your best friend. I supported your whorish lifestyle, of course I’d support you finding actual love.” 

Hobi sighed resting his head on my shoulder, “What if I am a shitty boyfriend. I have never been in a relationship Jinnie” 

“Okay well, the way we are, just like 2000 times more would classify as a relationship. You're sweet, caring, loving, you have great skills in bed, you know how to keep someone smiling with your bright personality, you love buying random shitty gifts because it makes you think of that person. All of these things. Great boyfriend material. Just remember to communicate how you're feeling you know? Don't put on a fake smile. Especially for your boyfriend, that never ends well,” I said comforting Hobi. 

He looked up at me and smiled, “Why are you still single?” He asked 

“Because of men like you, or the old you?” I said questioning who Hobi was now. Hobi in a committed relationship is a very strange thing. 

\------ END ------

Namjoon’s POV:  
Tae and I are just sitting casually on the bed while I finish up an assignment quick before I had to return to the front desk for my night shift. He was laying on his stomach looking at a fashion magazine and rating what everyone was wearing and their makeup, even the toothpaste ads. It is one of his favorite pastimes besides going to a coffee shop in town and rating people in life. Sometimes he has a hard time and can’t choose a score, so I have to help him make the ultimate hard decision on whether that person looks good or not.

We didn’t do much today, because I have to work tonight, and I didn’t want to be bothered. Tae of course showed up bright and early. We did homework, played video games, I got harassed by him, Jimin hung out with us, oh and at one point, I was debating on whether or not if I should tell my friendly neighbor from across the hall to stop screaming. 

I just finished my assignment when Jimin walks in with his gym bag and looking sweaty and exhausted. It turns out that he is a theatre major but has a dance minor. He practises every day for at least a couple of hours if not more. I am starting to think it is one way of coping with stress, but also is his favorite thing to do. He always seems a little bit happier when he comes back. 

“Hey” Jimin says to both Tae and I, by now it is not a surprise for Jimin to see Tae here. Tae’s here way more than we are. In the first week of school I’ve walked into my room with Tae already laying in my bed doing homework, playing video games, or just sleeping. I was worried this might annoy Jimin, but it seems as though that they are building a great friendship. 

“Hey” Tae and I say in unison, Tae stopped reading his magazine and sat up. “We should work out together sometime” Tae said, and I snorted, “You want to work out?” I asked him, he swatted me with his magazine, “Yes, I was thinking about going to the gym, but I don’t want to go alone” Tae said. He gave me a pout, trying to look innocent and helpless.

“Tae you're not going to work out. You’re only finding an excuse to wear quote on quote  
‘super cute workout clothes and stare at guys asses’” I scoffed and he shrugged, “So what if I am? Why is that such a problem?” 

Jimin snickered, “Okay, Tae if you really want to we can go to the gym together.” Jimin of course would say yes, he’s too kind to say no, but also maybe only said yes since he still has no other friends. He is really fit and athletic. He kinda has to be if he is a dance minor. Tae and I will definitely be sore or I will be. Tae is definitely not going to do shit. It's not just because he is lazy but because he doesn't know how to work half of the machines. 

“Well, I have to start my RA night shift at the front desk now,” I stood up and gathered my things. I quickly changed out of sweatpants and an old t-shirt that I sleep in and put on light washed jeans with a black t-shirt. 

“I’ll come with you; I do not want to see my roommate yet. Jimin you should come along too; we can play cards and make fun of the drunk people!” Tae grinned as he hands me a pair of fake glasses. He is always styling me in little ways and I just let him at this point even if we aren’t doing anything like now. It just little things here and there like a bracelet, combing my hair a certain way, or tucking the front of my shirt in. At first, I found it a little weird that a guy I just met was telling me how to dress, but I always looked that much better afterwards. What is the point of fighting him if you look good? He started to do it to Jimin lately, but Jimin is cool with it. I think Tae can’t help it and just second nature to him.

Jimin nodded, “Beats what I was going to do.” He smiled, I guess I won’t be bored tonight.

“What were you going to do?” Tae asked Jimin, while I was slipping on my black converse. Jimin just put on fresh clean clothes as well since his other clothes were kinda sweaty and sprayed some perfume thing to make sure he didn’t smell too bad. 

“Oh, I was going to just lay around and watch Netflix. Find some new show to binge watch when I am supposed to be doing homework instead.” Yup, the life of being a college kid. Have a million things to do, but you need to finish the last episode of Instant Hotel instead to see if your faves win that vacation to California because for some reason they somehow don’t have enough money to go by themselves.

“Come on guys let's go,” I say, and we walk out of the door.

After a few hours of being on duty we have played several “intense” and “dramatic” rounds of Uno. It was only made intense and dramatic because Tae got really into it and was ready to win at all costs. Jimin ended up laughing a lot due to Tae’s silliness and being a sore loser whenever he lost. We were not able to stop till Tae had more wins than Jimin and I. At that time we just let him win because thirteen games of Uno is too much Uno. 

We then decided to play Candyland to wind down from the stress Uno bought us. Jimin made a quick stop to the vending machine to get some skittles and gummy bears because if you play Candyland you have to eat candy with it. That is just facts and you can’t beat facts according to Jimin. Who was I to argue with that type of logic? The man was clearly right.

We played several rounds of that before Jimin and Tae got distracted into a conversation about fashion. I guess Jimin has this dance performance he has to do sometime this fall semester and he has to figure out what he wants his performance outfit to be. He is currently trying to figure out what song he is going to do for his performance. He has it narrowed down to three and to pick the song he is trying to figure out what outfit he would wear with them if he did those songs. He was hoping Tae could help him style his outfit to fit the mood of the song. I was just sitting their listening to their conversation but staying out of it since I am not an expert on either dance or fashion. 

I would every once in a while, had to check IDs, but it is almost 1am, so people that went to bars and parties will be coming back soon. I just hope I don’t need to call for the medical team this time. If a kid seems too out of it and is barely functional, procedure tells me I need to get them help for their wellbeing. The college finds being sued by angry parents has a negative impact on their reputation, so it requires more work from me.The first wave of people was doing okay. Yeah, they were clearly have been drinking, but they were fine. Just tired from the dancing and the alcohol. 

“So, do you have a girlfriend?” Tae asked Jimin who was focused on his next move. 

“No, I’m not seeing anyone, just a few casual hookups at my old school and obviously nothing here.” Jimin answered, “What about you two?” 

“Nope, no boyfriend, just my best friend who won't admit that he is madly in love with me” Tae said pulling me closer and I pushed him off, “get over yourself” I chuckled. “Oh, come on, you know deep down you cannot resist me” he smiled. We locked eyes for a few seconds, he wishes, he really wishes that was the case. 

“I didn’t know you guys were into guys as well.” Jimin said “If you know anything about me then it has to be my love for dick” Tae said, and I rolled my eyes. 

“What about you Namjoon?” Jimin asked 

Fuck, what about me? Did I like guys? YES! “No, not really, mostly girls” I lied. Tae started to play with my glasses that I was wearing. Tae had gotten them for me for my birthday last year to ‘help improve my style’. My birthday was coming up really soon. I will be hitting the big 21 which is actually pretty exciting. I am definitely drinking that night whether I have a say or not. Knowing Tae, he will be in my room way too early holding a shot in my face. We will probably go out to dinner and hit a couple bars or parties. 

It was an hour later when there was a really loud and obnoxious group. Sorry, I should correct myself. A very loud and obnoxious person. Tae and Jimin were about to go back up to get some sleep. Tae didn’t specify where he said he was going, so I was guessing that meant I would find him on my bed when I was done. They were about to head up when Tae decided that the scene in front of him was very interesting. 

Seokjin, Hoseok, and Yoongi walked in, or should I say, Hoseok and Yoongi were dragging Seokjin in. They both had one of his arms wrapped around their shoulder, trying to get him to stand up straight. “Hey!” Hoseok grinned, trying to act all calm, but I could sense his panic.

Seokjin was clearly very drunk and was having a very hard time standing up let alone walking. He clearly is coming back from a party by how he was dressed. He was wearing a light pink shirt with a necklace and tight black skinny jeans to show off his long legs paired with black ankle boots. He definitely was dressed a lot better than his last outfit I found him when he looked like a grandma’s couch. This one makes him look kinda good. 

“I don’t need to see IDs but, I might have to call university police for him,” I said, standing up. He couldn’t even stand up. This boy was seriously going to make me do paperwork for his dumb ass. 

“RM!” Seokjin shouted loudly, causing Tae to laugh. Jimin was next to him waiting to see how this whole scenario was going to play out. 

“No, UPD is not needed. He just needs his bed and a bottle of water. We got it, don’t worry” Hoseok said trying to pull Seokjin away. Hoseok clearly was trying to save his friend’s ass. His friend though is not a smart drunk. 

“Hobi! Stooop it, I want to talk to RM!” He whined. Why does he keep calling me that? I thought he didn’t like it by the disgusted face he made.

“Jin, you can speak to him when you’re sober,” Yoongi said pulling him, but Jin had other plans instead and pulled back. “This outfit is soooooo much cuter from the one from the other day” Seokin said, his words barely making any sense and his voice just a tad too high.

“Uh- thanks, guys should I help?” I asked looking at Hoseok and Yoongi. I gave them a worried look. They looked tired as it is, and he is clearly a handful. I really hope this doesn't become a regular occasion. I don’t need to deal with this guy more than I have to.

“NO! I swear, we have dealt with this before. He gets like this when he has a lot on his mind.” Hoseok said seeing that I am going to let them go and wants to get out of this situation as fast as they can. I watched as they continued fighting with Seokjin and I walk forward to help even though they said they didn’t need it. I just get to them when he suddenly shouts, “I AM GOING TO THROW UP” before he leaned forward and puked right in front of me. It was not just a little bit a puke either. Nope, not with my luck. It was a shit load of puke and it was all over the front of me.

I froze along with Hoseok and Yoongi. None of us completely believing what just happened. Jin blacked out after and becomes dead weight. No one said anything for a moment and then Tae started laughing his ass off. I turn my head to give him ‘are you seriously laughing right now’ look and that just made him laugh harder. Jimin has a hand over his mouth and is completely shocked. Then his shocked expression quickly turned into a smile and he was laughing at the whole thing along with Tae.

I turn back to Hoseok and Yoongi,  
shaking my head. “Just get him upstairs, now” I huffed, Hoseok and Yoongi apologizing endlessly as they continued to struggle with their drunk friend. They were soon out of our sight and probably struggling with getting Jin up the stairs.

I turned around and groaned, Tae was grinning at me and Jimin was obviously trying to hold back a laugh. “HELP ME!” I shouted. This has to be the grossest situation I have ever been in. They quickly leave to go to the bathroom and comeback with toilet paper and paper towels. Jimin makes a run up to our room to get some more cleaning supplies as well. We spent the next 30 minutes trying to clean up the puke. We did the best we could but had to leave a note for the janitor in the morning. I made Tae go get me clothes and my laundry stuff so I could wash my puke clothes. If I didn’t do it now, then the smell would have filled my dorm room and that would not be okay. 

By the time everything was cleaned up and my laundry in the dryer, I had twenty minutes left of my shift. Jimin and Tae decided to stay until I had to leave. We made a quick stop at the laundry room to pick up my clothes and headed back up to Jimin and I’s room. I went to go take a shower quickly, so I didn’t feel gross anymore. If you have never had a person puke up on you, it is definitely an experience that one should try. It is a real self-confidence builder.

When I got back to my dorm, Jimin is in his bed checking his phone one more time and Tae is sleeping away in my bed of course. I say goodnight to Jimin and shove Tae over to make room for me. I am so tired that I fall asleep right away.

Jin’s POV:  
I woke up with a pounding headache. Why does my head hurt so bad? Is someone hitting me in the head with a hammer? If they are, then why am I not dead yet? I turn to roll the other way around and to fall back to sleep, bad idea. The sun is directly in my face all of a sudden. Even though I have yet opened my eyes once, the sun is definitely making my headache worse. I quickly shove my face into my pillow to make it go away groaning.

“It looks like someone is finally awake,” Yoongi’s voice comes from somewhere. Why is he being so loud right now. This is one of the quietest men on this planet and this exact moment when I have a killer headache is when he wants to be loud? It could have literally been any other day but today.

“Ssssshhhhhh” I put my hands over my ears. 

“Maybe this will teach him not to drink so much next time” says Hobi, again too loud, but I detect a hint of annoyance. My psychic senses are telling me that Yoongi is not the one to put that emotion there. Wait? What happened last night? Shit I can’t remember. I wanted to go out and get drunk which I am guessing happened to how I feel like major shit. I remember getting there and dancing and drinking and then I don't remember what happened after that. I knew that Hobi wanted me to slow down on the shots, but I am guessing I didn’t.

I take my face out from under the blankets and squint through the bright light that was coming through the window. It must be a really sunny morning today because my room has never been this bright in the morning. Wait why am I on the ground? I had my pillow and my blanket was covering me, but I was laying on Hobi’s floor. I look up and see that Yoongi and Hobi are cuddling in their bed and are watching Netflix with on Hobi’s laptop with earbuds in. Hobi has his head on Yoongi’s chest and Yoongi is rubbing his back soothingly. It is weird for Yoongi to be this awake in the morning. Usually he doesn't even think about opening his eyes at ten the earliest.

“Wow you guys are awake early,” I say. I do this to see how much trouble I am in with Hobi as well to see why they are up this early. I also want to know why I am on his floor, but I think it is one of the worst places to start and chose a hopefully safer route. 

“We didn’t wake up early, you are the one that woke up late. It is 1 o’clock,” Hobi explains to me. Well, that explains a lot. I never sleep in this late even if I wanted to. What happened last night? How much did I really drink? Why can’t I remember anything? “You are also making us breakfast to make up for all the shit me and Yoongi had to go through for you last night. Also, be sure to apologize to Namjoon today as well. I know that you don’t like him, but he saved your ass last night from getting in trouble.” Wait why did I have to apologize to him? That makes no sense at all. I really fucked up somewhere last night. 

I must have looked really fucking confused because Yoongi’s then speaks up then. “Do you remember anything from last night?” 

“To be honest….I don’t remember a fucking thing,” reply to him. Hobi face palms his face hard and mutters, “Are you fucking kidding me?”. He then sits up and move the laptop off of Yoongi and closes it. “That’s it. You are buying breakfast and we will talk about it then because I need food and a decent coffee. I will drive since you can brearly open your eyes at the moment, just go take a shower so you don’t reek of alcohol.” 

I don’t try to fight Hoseok on this. He is clearly hungry and need food. No one can talk to a hangry Hoseok down, you just need to get him food then talk. I quickly got up and went to take a shower. I felt a little better after taking a shower. It woke me up a little bit and I did not feel gross, but I still had the headache. I must have puked at some time last night because there was a weird taste in my mouth and the first thing, I did was to brush my teeth.

I quickly dressed into black sweatpant joggers and a red long-sleeved shirt. Hoseok was in black sweatpants as well but a little bagger paired with a yellow sleeved shirt. Then Yoongi was in all black with sweatpants and a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt had a huge face on it, and it was scary as fuck.

“Ummmmm…… Yoongi?” I say to him.

“Yeah?” he answers while looking up from his phone.

“Your sweatshirt is scaring me”

He gives me a smirk and says, “Good. Now let’s go.” Yoongi always has a soft spot for me, every time Hobi and I are arguing, yoongs always gives me extra attention even if I am in the wrong. 

We arrived at the nearest dinner and shuffled into our booth. Everything around me made my headache worse. I wish I did not agree to breakfast, but I do want to know what happened.  
The waitress came over and took our orders. I basically ordered everything on the menu because I was starving, and I needed the energy and Hobi really needed the food as well. That man can eat an elephant if he wanted to.

“So, what’s the damage,” I sighed not really wanting to know the stupid shit I did last night. 

Hoseok look annoyed, Yoongi laid a comforting hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. “You really need to work on telling me, your best friend in the entire world, what’s going on in that head of yours” Hoseok started, “I watched you drink away your problems last night, your problems that I don’t know, maybe if you talked to me I could help you instead of a bottle of alcohol” I sat staring at Hobi feeling guilty, guilty for actions that I can’t even remember. 

“You did not only keep shit from me again, you also humiliated me in front of our RA last night. That poor man is probably still scrubbing your vomit off his shoes” 

I stopped sipping on my water and stared in disbelief, “I did what?” I groaned, “on Namjoon!” 

“You also called him cute” Yoongi butted in and received a death stare from Hobi, “That is not important, I could care less about Jin’s stupid crush” 

“I do not have a crush on-” I stopped talking because I now was receiving the death stare from Hobi

He continued, “- the point is, you can’t fall into old habits Jin, you can’t drink away your problems, you can’t bottle your feelings up, remember last time” Hobi said, his eyes tearing up, “You shut me out for a month, I had to deal with finding you barely capable of being a functioning human being so many times.” 

We were interrupted by our waitress bringing our food, I looked at the endless amount of food in front of me and wasn’t hungry at all anymore. Hobi is right, I did have a drinking problem, it lasted a short while, but I still wasn’t a good friend in the process. It was back in high school, my senior year. I was scared of growing up, coming to college alone, being away from my best friend and my family. Instead of talking to someone, I drank it away, ignoring what I felt and tried to be okay with it. 

This issue is different yet sort of the same. I’m still single, I’m graduating and moving into the real world. I’m being forced to be a real adult when I honestly wish I was back at home watching cartoons without a care in the world. 

“Look, I promise I will not allow myself to get that bad again, it was one night, and yes I did humiliate all of us but I will go straight to Namjoon after this and apologize, I’ll also not drink again, not for a while at least. I don't think my body could handle it.” I said, picking at the food in front of me. 

Hobi sighed, “Just talk to me okay” he mumbled. 

I nodded and began shoveling food into my mouth, “You’re also paying” Hobi said with a smirk on his face. I gave him a thumb up due to the overload of food in my mouth prohibiting me from voicing my answer. 

\-----------

Once we got back to the dorm, I went straight to Namjoon’s room. I felt a little nervous and guilty for what I did to him. I knew if I didn’t say something now, I wouldn’t end up saying anything at all. Which would cause the whole thing to get worse. I knocked on the door and waited for a response. After a few seconds the door opened slightly and Namjoon stood looking at me. He did not seem impressed when he saw me.

“Hey RM, what’s up” I nervously laughed, and I heard snickering coming from inside of the room. “Seokjin. I see you’re feeling better” He said dryly, crossing his arms. I didn’t know what to say, my jokes seem to not amuse him. “Uh- yeah, about that, Hobi told me what I did, and I just wanted to apologize. If there’s anything I could do to make it up to you.” 

“You don’t have to make it up to me, this is sadly the shit I signed up for when I decided to become an RA” Namjoon said and I awkwardly laughed again. Yeah this is going well, I thought. “Okay, well I am truly sorry. I swear I don’t normally get wasted like that” I tried explaining myself, but he seemed uninterested. 

“It’s fine, just try not to throw up on me again” He said, a small smile on his face 

“Will do, so yeah, see you around” I said, and he nodded before heading back in, shutting the door in my face. 

I scoffed, what an asshole, I shouldn’t have apologized. Why did I let Hobi make me feel guilty enough to actually say sorry to this jerk? I headed back to my room; I’m never listening to Hobi again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEOKJIN DID WHAT? 
> 
> Namjoon is PISSED and we love it.


	3. Wasted on alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon and Seokin gets to know each other a little, they might even become friends... or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Chapter 3 is here, I hope you are enjoying the fic so far! Thank you so much reading, now let's get on with the story and see how stupid NAMJIN can really be. 
> 
> Song Recommendation: Twenty One By: Khalid

*September*  
Taehyung’s POV:

I woke up to an unbearable noise. I thought it was my alarm, but it is never this loud or obnoxious. I turned over and saw my roommate, my lovely roommate, prancing around with headphones on while he was making something in a fucking blender. The best part is his bare ass is hanging out. I stared at him with a straight face, unamused by this nonsense. You have to be fucking kidding me.

He must've noticed my movements and looked over at me. He took his headphones off and smiled, “Good morning. Smoothie?” He asked and I wanted to knock that smile off his face. Who does this man think he is? 

“No, thank you,” I mumbled turning back over. I finally settled back into a comfortable position but in less than 30 seconds my alarm went off. I groaned and rolled myself out of bed. Great way to start off a Monday. 

\-- 

After all of my morning classes, I headed to my favorite class of the day. The only class that has anything to do with my major, apparel construction. I am finally going to be able to design clothes for the fashion show this year and I am pumped. I had modeled for the show the past two years, but this time I get to show off my own designs. I smiled proudly thinking about some of my designs, designs that I stayed up for countless nights creating. 

I walked into class and sat down next to Hoseok. I met him in class, and we connected right away. He was super chill and funny, just my type of guy. He told me a lot about his boyfriend, Yoongi, and his best friend, vomit boy. I told him about Namjoon, exposing him. I let him know that Namjoon isn’t as serious as he makes himself to be. He just has a very strong wall built up, but once he lets it down for you, you’ll love him. You might even fall in love with him. 

“Helloo, I got us milkshakes!” Hoseok said smiling and I grinned. “Oh, thank you! You didn’t have to do that,” and he shook his head while he gulped down his shake. “It was nothing, I really wanted one so I stopped by on the way to class and I couldn’t leave you hanging.” He smiled that sunshine smile of his. I nodded, “Well, thank you, sugar is definitely what I need to get myself through the rest of the day.” 

“That shitty?” He asked and I let out a small laugh, “Not shitty, tiring. My roommate woke me up with his blender this morning. Who the hell is up making a smoothie at 7am?” I complained and Hoseok laughed, “Jin, for sure. He is an early bird and wakes everyone up in the process.” 

“Namjoon too, he likes starting and ending his day early, such a grandpa,” I snort thinking of Joonie in his pajamas by 7pm, on the nights he could actually be asleep by then. 

“Jin and Namjoon would get along really well, if they both would let their guard down.” 

I sat nodding, and then got a great idea, “Namjoon’s birthday is this Friday! I’m throwing him a surprise party at our friend’s place. You should come. I can text you the address. Please come, bring Jin and Yoongi also! The dress code is semi-casual.” I pulled my phone out to get his number. 

“Sounds like a plan! I’m sure we will be able to make it. I will drag Jin by his legs if I have to and he will look great because I am the one that will be dressing him.” Hoseok said, typing his number in. 

“Great” I smiled, the things I do for Namjoon. He is so going to hate me, and I love it. 

—

Once class was over, I headed to one of the dining halls to meet Namjoon. He usually isn’t free to eat with me, so I’m definitely taking advantage of this. I wasn’t hungry, but seeing Namjoon was worth the long line going in. I spotted Namjoon the second I walked in and headed towards him. I grinned at my best friend, but he’s too busy on his phone to notice that I’m there. I sat down next to him and grinned, “Joonie” I say right into his ear. He jumps, “Tae! Why do you always do that?” He said wide eyed. 

“It’s not my fault you’re too busy on your phone, anyway, how was your day?” I asked him. He looks tired and brain dead.

“Long, I have this paper due soon and I haven’t even had time to start it. I tried so many times throughout the day but kept getting distracted with other things” he pouted. 

“At least you weren’t woken up by a blender” I said patting his shoulder, “That kid will be the death of me. He has too much energy all the damn time.” 

“So, you should maybe try talking to him, get to know him. You might like him,” Namjoon said and I scoffed, disgusted by his words. 

“I will not, he’s so annoying.”

“So are you, babe,” Namjoon said before shoveling down his food and I rolled my eyes. “I am not” I complained, my mind wrapped around the word babe, my stomach felt uneasy. He has no clue what he does to me. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Namjoon asked bringing me back into reality. 

“Not hungry, just had a milkshake”. 

Namjoon stopped chewing and looked at me, “And you didn’t save me some?” He looked completely offended.

“Nooooooooooooo,” I said sheepishly, “But I got it from my friend in my fashion class, so it's not like I am only thinking of myself.” Trying to save myself in any way possible. Namjoon was always going on about how I need to think of others more.

“So, I am just chop liver to you?” 

“NO, ewww, liver is gross, and you are the last thing of gross.”

“Mmhm”, he began eating again, pretending to ignore me.

“I will get you one next time, promise,” I said, holding out my pinky. He smiles and intertwines his pinky around mine.

“So, for your birthday, I have it all set up. I got a place; everyone is invited and your outfit is picked out. You don’t have to worry about a thing.” I was so excited. I’ve been planning this party and making sure it will be the best party that this man will ever get for weeks now. I still have to do some things like make a playlist, get the decorations, food, and all the alcohol that we can get. Some of the stuff will have to wait till we get closer to the party, but we are on track. 

The place we are holding it is at Jackson Wang’s apartment that is off campus. Jackson is super cool and a really good friend of ours. We met him last year when he lived on our floor with us. He can be too much and off the wall crazy with energy when he lets loose, but when he has to be serious with school stuff and with adult things, he flips the switch. He is also super loyal and does anything for his friends, so when I asked him if we could do the party at his place, his exact words were, “Hell yeah!”. He is inviting some of his friends that know Namjoon as well. These two boys know almost everyone on campus, and I can’t keep up with who they are friends with and who they are not friends with.

“What do you mean, how many people are coming to this? Don't spend too much on this. I thought we would just out to dinner, maybe a party or two. I didn’t think we would go all the way with this.”

“I can’t just throw just an average party for my Namjoonie. He only deserves the best. If it makes you feel better, I am not spending that much money. Most of it is going to food and alcohol. I think there is going to be at the most thirty people and I doubt they are all going to be there. So, in total, probably twenty people which is a good crowd.”

“Okay, that's fine, I guess. Where is it?” He was still worried that I might go over the top with it. He worries way too much sometimes.

“At Jackson’s house. He is super excited to be having it at his house. I think it will be the first party that he will be having there, so he can’t wait t. Just trust me with everything, okay?”

“I will, you seem to have everything thought out.” I’m not sure why, but even though he said he would trust me, it doesn’t seem convincing enough. 

“Next thing, this year I will be having my designs in the fashion show.” I rubbed Namjoon’s arm and smiled, he is going to kill me. 

“Really, I’m so excited for you. You’ve been working so hard!” Namjoon said, speaking fast due to his excitement. 

“I know! And the best part is you’re going to be one of my models!” I said clapping and cheering. Namjoon did not read the same. 

“I am what now?” He raised an eyebrow, frozen from surprise. He clearly didn’t feel the same excitement he felt before, less than a second ago. 

“Oh please, Namjoon, you have to do this! As my best friend you really have no choice” I protested. 

“Can I think about it? It’s a really busy time for me. I know it’s not until the spring, but I need to think about it okay?” Namjoon tried compromising.

“Okay, think about it, but the designs are already made to fit you, perfectly.” I smiled and he sighed, knowing that he won’t be able to pass this up. 

“I swear to god I better look good, Tae. Do not dress me up in cardboard or plastic bags.” He gives me a stern look. That would be an excellent idea for a prank later on. I am definitely going to do that.

“You need to trust me. I would never make you look gross or ugly. You know me, Joonie. When have I ever looked bad or even better yet! When have I ever styled you and you didn’t like what I put together? Just put some trust in me, walk down the catwalk a couple of times, and you are good to go. Super easy.” I give him my boxy smile, excited for what I have a plan. He will never look any better when I am done with him.

“Okay, okay, okay, I get it. I will trust you more. We should get going. I have stuff I need to get done before my shift tonight.”

“How long is your shift?”

“Just 7 to 11. Nothing too bad. I just have some homework that I need to finish up because I am definitely not doing it later. You can chill with me if you have nothing going on. We can watch Netflix or something.”

“Ooooooo can we watch Friends?” Friends is one of my favorite shows and I could literally watch it all day.

“Yeah, of course” He smiled at me before standing up to head out. 

\---- 

Namjoon’s POV: 

*A few days later * 

I stood in front of the mirror, not really sure how I felt about the choice of outfit Tae picked out for my birthday party. The blue jeans, tucked in black shirt, and metallic jacket were all fine, it looked good, I looked good. But the straps around my chest and leg. I don’t even know why Tae owns these. 

“Are you sure? Maybe I should leave the straps at home” I said turning around facing Jimin and Tae. Jimin wore black pants with a yellow top and blue jacket, he looked normal. So did Tae in his black dress pants, white shirt, and pink jacket. 

“Namjoon you look great!” Jimin said, “I swear I would tell you if you looked ridiculous.” 

“Okay fine, we should get going” I said grabbing my phone and wallet. 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I raised an eyebrow and Tae rolled his eyes. He opened the door and Jungkook, his roommate was standing there, gift in hand. He wore ripped jeans with a white shirt tucked in and a burgundy jacket over it. Why do I feel as though Tae forced him to dress that way?

“Hi, Happy Birthday!” He said shoving the gift towards me. I smiled, “Thank you, you didn’t have to get me anything.” 

I gave Tae a questioning look, “Jungkook, will be joining us tonight” Tae mumbled, and I nodded, this is clearly not something Tae wants to happen. 

“Hi, I’m Jimin!” Jimin chirped in and Jungkook smiled, “Hi, thanks for letting me come out with you guys tonight,” he said sounding very innocent. 

“Oh no worries, we’re glad you’re here!” I said and nudged Tae to say something. “Yes, very glad,” he said with the fakest smile. 

“Okay, well now, let’s go” I said pushing Tae out the door. I grabbed his hand and we locked fingers. “Be nice, have fun,” I whispered to him and he mumbled something I didn't hear, but have a strong idea of what it might have been. 

When we arrived at Jackson’s house, the music was already blasting, and colorful lights were shining through the windows. Jackson and Tae went hard on decorating the house. Clearly, they were not settling for anything less. I know Tae said that Jackson was excited about throwing this party, but I didn’t know he was this excited. We haven’t even gotten inside the house to know that this is going to be an awesome party.

People were walking around chatting with drinks in their hands. There were more than 20 people that Tae said was going to be here. It was more like 40 and it was still kinda early, so you know more are going to show up. Most of the people that were there were people that I knew which was cool. 

“Okay guys, let’s get this man drunk!” Tae screams when we all get out of the car. He starts pushing me towards the house. Tae will go to the ends of the earth to make sure I have fun tonight. If anyone tries to ruin that fun, I am scared to see what he will do to them.

I immediately start to greet and talk to people I come across, thanking them for coming. Tae was not having it and he turned to the girl that is in my philosophy class. “Umm hi, hello. He will talk to you later, maybe, but not right now. Bye!” and drags us into the house to get to the kitchen.

When we get into the house there are lights flashing and the music is even louder than when we were outside two seconds ago. It is a little crowded, but one could easily get around if they wanted to. We go straight to the kitchen and Tae immediately poured me a shot and shoves it at me while he pours three more. 

“Slow down! We want him to have fun, not be blacked out,” Jimin said to Tae. Tae sighed, “Okay fine.” He downed another shot, he spilled some on his chest and laughed, “You’re already a mess and we just got here,” I said laughing. “Come on, let’s go find people we actually like, Tae said grabbing my hand and looked over to Jungkook, who was too busy talking it up with Jimin to notice Tae being an asshole. 

Tae dragged me along, I quickly said hi and thank you’s to people shouting at me over the music. I spotted Jackson standing with Jinyoung. We went over and greeted both of them, “The birthday booooy!!!!” Jackson said squeezing my cheeks. “Hey,” Jinyoung said smiling and I smiled back. “You really didn’t have to do all of this for my birthday, it’s not that big of a deal” I said.

Tae scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Ungrateful. We worked our asses off for this night just so you would have a great time!” 

“More like I did all the work and Tae was bossing me around, because ‘everything has to be perfect for his Joonie’,” Jackson said mocking Tae.

Tae smacked his arm, “I didn’t say it like that,” he argued. I laughed at Tae turning red from embarrassment, he’s a loser. 

“So, Mark is here,” Jinyoung said to me on the side. “Oh,” I said, “and?” I asked shrugging, not sure how to feel. I haven't really interacted with him much since our incident.  
“I just wanted to let you know, so you’re aware” Jinyoung explained and I nodded, just as I was about to open my mouth, Mark walks up to us. He stood next to Jinyoung and said hi to everyone. I watched him wrapped his arm around Jinyoung. They’ve been dating for a while now. Jinyoung was worried I would be mad but honestly, I have no right to be. I was the one that fucked up that night Tae looked over to me, he wrapped his arm my shoulders and continued talking to Jackson. “Happy Birthday,” Mark said, I smiled at him and said thanks. It was awkward and I hate being awkward, especially when I don't need to be, like at my own party. 

Jimin and Jungkook found their way back to us. We all stood in a group, everyone was talking and for someone who is supposed to be the center of the party, I felt very alone and uncomfortable. Great, 20 minutes into my own party and I’m ready to leave. I shifted my body away from Tae, he dropped his arm and looked at me. “You okay?” He leaned towards me and whispered, “Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. He nodded and continued his conversation he was having with Jimin and Jackson about bees. I don’t even know anymore. I stopped questioning his weird conversations a long time ago. 

I turned my head and looked at the door. I saw the last person I expected to be here. 

Seokjin. 

He walks through the door with a bright pink sparkly shirt on and I rolled my eyes. He looks good. Well, the shirt at least. “Why is he here,” I asked, turning Tae towards him and he grinned. “Because I invited him.” I really want to punch Tae, I normally want to punch him, but this time, it was harder to fight the urge. 

Hobi, Yoongi and Seokjin walked up to us. “You made it!” Tae said excitedly. “Yes, we did, it took A LOT of convincing and bribing, but I got them both here!” Hobi said, high fiving Tae. 

“Nice shirt,” Tae said to Seokjin and he beamed. “Thanks, I’m handsome, I know!” 

You’ve got to be kidding me. Arrogant, vain, selfish, conceited. 

“RM!” He shouted and smiled. “Hey” I mumbled, not trying to entertain his ass. 

Yoongi gave me a little wave and I smiled. I really don’t want to be here. After a while of standing around with everyone, I somehow managed to escape. I took a bottle of vodka from the kitchen and headed outside to the front porch. I sat down and scrolled through my phone. I occasionally took a sip. Actually, more like a full gulp of vodka, but I needed it. The second I saw Mark I wanted to puke. I wanted him to punch me and yell at me. 

I heard the door open and felt someone sat down beside me. “Tae, I just want to be left alone. I swear the party is fun, it’s just overwhelming-” I said, turning my head learning that the person next to me is not Tae, but Seokjin. 

“I needed some air too,” he said, and I nodded. “Oh okay,” I mumbled. I showed him the bottle and he shook his head. “Not tonight, still recovering from last time. Once again, I am so sorry.” I laughed. Ew, I laughed, in front of Seokjin. I am drunk. Or at least not as sober as I thought I was. I don’t allow myself to be open in front of people, especially the ones who vomit on me. “Like I said, don’t do it again,” I shrugged, taking another swig. 

“So why are you overwhelmed, aren’t you use to being with big groups.” 

“Yeah, it’s not the amount, but more of who some of these people are that’s kind of throwing me off.” 

“Hmm, I get it. I’m sure I’m one of them, so I can go back in,” Seokjin began standing up and I grabbed his arm. “No, stay. I mean I usually would despise anyone who threw up on me for the rest of my life, but I’ll let it slide with you. Just for tonight though,” I joked, and he smiled. “Okay RM,” he said, and I rolled my eyes. 

“I said only my friends can call me that.” 

“We’re not friends?” I hesitated with my answer, is this a trick question? What if I say no and he thinks I'm a jerk? The answer is no though, why would I lie. 

Seokjin bit his lip, trying not to laugh, “I’m joking, don’t answer.” 

“We can be friends,” I said, why the fuck did I say that? I am too nice. 

“Sure, someday, maybe,” he grinned. Now he’s a jerk. What does he mean by maybe? Am I not worthy of being his friend? “Who are you trying to stay away from though, by being out here. You’re overwhelmed, but who made you feel this way?” 

“I don’t think I should tell someone who isn’t my friend or plan on being my friend anytime soon my personal business.” 

“Okay fine, why do your friends call you RM? Is that a less serious question?” 

“Less serious answer, more embarrassing. I used to rap on the side, called myself rap monster, RM.” 

Seokjin laughed, “That is too cute.” 

“It’s not supposed to be cute. It’s supposed to get girls screaming for me.” 

“How did that work out?” He chuckled.

“Well, I don’t rap much anymore, if that answers your question,” I sighed. No girls ever screamed for me. Just my mom, but she doesn’t really count as being a girl. 

Seokjin laughed at me uncontrollably. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he looked somewhat cute. Just a tad bit. His laugh was contagious though. Before I knew it, I was laughing too. I’m not sure why I was laughing, but it felt good to let loose for once. 

Seokjin took the bottle of vodka from me. “Do not let Hobi know. He thinks I have a drinking problem,” Seokjin tilts his head back swallowing the alcohol. 

I nodded, does he? It’s none of my business, but he possibly could have one and I’d be letting it happen. “Do you?” I asked and he shook his head. “No, Namjoon, I don’t,” he said seriously, “Just have a lot of things going on and last time I went a bit overboard with the drinking, but I swear I’m fine. It’s just a way to clear my head.” 

“I’m not sure, but I think that’s what someone with a drinking problem says,” I said, semi joking. I chuckled a little and Seokjin nudged me, “You’re funny, haha.” 

“You’re cute,” I said, shit. Why the fuck Namjoon. You don’t even know if he’s into guys. 

“I’m handsome,” he corrected me, ignoring what I said and moving on. “Come on, let's go in and dance,” he stood up and pulled me with him. 

We both took another drink and headed inside, once again laughing for who knows what reason. “I’m a bad dancer” I shouted over the music. “Me too!” Seokjin yelled back. 

I’m not sure if you can call what we’re doing dancing, more like two idiots tripping over each other. We spent most of the time trying to hold each other up. I won’t lie, I was actually having a good time. I mean I had to ignore the hard stares I was getting from the people I knew, especially my friends. 

Seokjin and I were sitting enjoying each other’s company a little while later in the kitchen, near all the alcohol of course. At this point I was a sweaty mess, I reeked of alcohol, the room was sort of spinning, my goal is to keep the buzz going. The second sober Namjoon arrives back at the party, I’d hate it. I’d leave. 

“Hey Joonie” I heard someone say. I turned around to see the girl from earlier, standing there. 

“Oh, hi,” she’s in my philosophy class, we’ve talked a few times. I looked over at Seokjin who was also eyeing her down. He glanced over at me and I shrugged. I turned my attention back to her. “Enjoying the party?” she asked, placing her hand on my arm. I nodded, “Yeah, it’s fun,” I answered, please leave. 

She didn’t, she kept talking to me for a few minutes. I felt bad now ignoring Seokjin. I wasn’t fully into the conversation either and I probably missed the signs, because I don’t really know how I ended up making out with her. Like always, my mind said no, but I was too drunk to stop and so was she. She clearly wanted this from the beginning. 

We broke our kiss when I heard Taehyung and Jackson screaming happy birthday at the top of their lungs. Taehyung had a smirk on his face, the ‘you have to tell me everything’, smirk, but he continued singing happy birthday with Jackson and everyone else. 

I blew out the candles on the cake, I looked around the room. Yoongi and Hobi were there, but no sign of Seokjin. 

Great. 

_________

Jin’s POV: 

Throwing up in the bathroom at a party is never fun. Which is why the second I felt sick, I left. I got myself an Uber and went back to the comfort of my own bathroom and puked my brains out.

I honestly wasn’t that drunk, I’m not sure what really came over me. I had a few drinks, but I spent the time watching Namjoon. He clearly was drinking his problems away. He clearly was the one with the alcohol problem. That man was so drunk, I’m surprised he was able to shove his tongue down that girls throat without falling over. 

I stripped out of my gross, sweat covered clothes and got into bed. I wasn’t tired. My mind was racing. I pretended to not be phased by the fact that Namjoon called me cute. I think I played it off really well, but he called me cute. 

He called me cute.

Who cares, it’s not that big of a deal. He was drunk anyways; he probably won’t even remember speaking to me. I guess it’ll be my own little secret. My annoying RA from across the hall who clearly hates my guts thinks I’m cute. Me. The Kim Seokjin.  
_______

After the party I did not see Namjoon for a few days. I wasn't exactly looking for him anyways. I quickly got over that fact that he thought I was cute. A lot of people do, I am a very attractive person. It was the following weekend, Sunday morning to be exact. I was doing laundry at 7am because it is the best time to do it. Everyone is knocked out from their crazy night out, or if they are awake, they are too hungover to even open their eyes so they lay there trying to remember what they did the night before. 

I filled the dryer with my freshly washed clothes. I heard the door open and I turned around to see Namjoon placing his hamper on the washer. He didn’t even look at me. I continued placing my wet clothes in the dryer and I could hear Namjoon having a hard time with his laundry. He dropped something and mumbled a swear word. He sounded sleepy; he probably just woke up to do laundry. Great minds think alike, I guess. I contemplated on if I should say good morning or not. If he didn't want to talk to me at all, then he wouldn't want me speaking this early in the morning. 

I closed the dryer and turned it on quickly before gathering my things. On my way out I noticed that he was hitting the wrong button to start the washer. I went up to him and pressed the button in the middle instead of on top. They aren't labeled so it can be confusing. He should know this, but hey, we all have our days. I could feel him staring me down. Once the machine started, I once again grabbed my things and left. I didn't even say one word. He can’t be upset with me now. I did nothing to piss him off. I was just helping. 

______________

I decided that I wanted waffles for breakfast. I began gathering all the things I needed in order to make just enough for three people. I always include Yoongi in everything because most of the time he is glued to Hobi’s ass. This morning he might even be filling Yoongi’s ass. 

I turned on a Sunday morning playlist and began making the batter. I think I am the only one on the entire campus that actually owns a waffle maker. I know the dining halls has one and that is where most people go for a waffle. But as an intellectual I know that on lazy hungover Sundays, no one wants to leave the comfort of their own room. 

Hobi’s door flung open and my best friend walked out. “I smell pancakes,” he shouted with excitement. 

“Waffles,” I muttered not looking up from the pan. I have to keep a careful eye on my waffle, turning the waffle at the exact moment the light turns red is the key to having a great waffle. 

“Oh, come on, you know I do not like waffles.” Hobi sat down at the table, I poured him some coffee and he gave me a thumbs up. 

“You’re probably the only person on this entire planet that does not like waffles. They are the exact same thing as pancakes, just a different name and shape.” 

“Incorrect my friend” Hobi took a sip of his coffee, “Pancakes are way better than waffles, they are smooth and fluffy.” 

“And waffles aren’t fluffy?” I raised an eyebrow at my best friend. “Sometimes I really wonder why we are still friends. I should have dropped your ass YEARS ago.” 

“Ha, so funny, you love me way too much to ever do that,” Hobi got up and grabbed plates along with silverware since the waffles were basically done. 

“If you say so,” I smile. “Oh shit, I need to hurry up. My laundry is almost done.” I placed my phone down after checking the timer, I wonder if I would run into Namjoon again. I mean I don't really care; it was just a thought.  
“So, we never really discussed Namjoon’s party. The week was super busy,” Hobi started off and I stared at him. “What about the party?” I asked. 

“Well you guys basically hung out all night, but then you disappeared, why?” 

“Why did I leave or why did we hang out?”

“Both.” 

“Uh, well I went outside and saw he was out there alone drinking so, I joined him. It was his birthday party and that would be pretty pathetic to be drinking alone at your own party. I just wanted to help him out. We talked for a little bit and the rest was a blur, so I don’t exactly remember what happened. I only left because I felt sick,” I answered his question, honestly. 

“So, you didn’t leave because you got jealous of that girl he was making out with?” Hobi asked, eyeing me down. I kept looking at my waffle, it was sort of burnt along the edges. I kept it in for a minute too long. Sigh, what a sad waffle.

I cleared my throat and shook my head, “Why would I be jealous of some girl?” 

Hobi laughed, he crossed his arms. “Jinnie, I know you better than you know yourself and I knew from day 1. You are attracted to Namjoon.” 

“He’s cute, I won’t lie. He is cute, but I am not into him in whatever way you think that I am. Also, I would never be jealous of some girl. I barely know him anyway. Why would I be jealous over someone that I barely know?” I scoffed, taking a sip of my coffee. Maybe seeing him kiss her did make me sick or maybe it was the alcohol. What difference does it make? I’m sure any form of PDA would have made me sick, between any two people. It has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with Namjoon. 

“You’re lying, but okay. Also, your waffles suck,” Hobi said and I rolled my eyes. “Listen, I’m glad you’re happy with Yoongi and what not, but you really need to understand that not everyone wants to be in a relationship. I know what your goal with Namjoon is and you need to end it right now because I will never have feelings for Namjoon. I am not looking for a relationship. Thank you, but please just stop.” I rambled on and Hobi nodded. “Suit yourself dude, I was just trying to help. Seeing you mope around gets annoying.” 

“I am not moping around, and even if I am it has nothing to do with a relationship, Hoseok. Are you just trying to tell me that you are tired of me being a third wheel?” I know that is not what he is saying, I know what he is saying is coming from a good place, but being told I should be with someone, being told I should be in a relationship really pisses me off because I am perfectly fine alone and I don’t get why others, especially my best friend, can’t understand that. 

I am too busy for a relationship, and even if I wasn’t, Namjoon wouldn’t be the one. 

He isn’t even into me. 

“You’re being ridiculous, you know. Yoongs and I love having you around, don’t come here with that bullshit,” Hobi scoffed, he sat up. “I was just trying to help, okay? Like I said, I know you better than you know yourself.” He shrugged before heading back to his room. 

I sighed; waffles are better than pancakes. 

Being alone is better than letting someone hurt you in the long run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I had a best friend like Taehyung that would choose my outfits for me. 
> 
> I wish my best friend was Taehyung. 
> 
> What would you rather, Taehyung as your best friend or Seokjin as your boyfriend?  
You can only pick one, don't get too greedy.


	4. Runaway from something beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin loves breaking rules, RA Namjoon isn’t pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo, 
> 
> Once again, we really appreciate the feedback we get from you all so please please please comment or let us know on twitter if you enjoy reading our fic as much as we enjoy writing! 
> 
> Song Recommendation: Strangers By The Jonas Brothers

*October* 

Jin’s POV:  
Ever since I got into my small disagreement with Hobi about me not wanting a boyfriend, we have been distant. Not sure why all of a sudden, he feels the need to find me someone. Maybe he truly was tired of me hanging out with him and Yoongi. I would just like to say that Yoongi and I were friends before they started dating and I have not spent more than 5 minutes alone with Yoongi since they’ve been dating. Also, all I am simply doing is hanging out in my dorm. If they truly wanted to be alone then why don’t they just hang out in Yoongi’s single. Or, they could lock themselves in Hobi’s room for all I care. It would be rude, but I don’t care.

However, they don’t.

They still never feel the need to keep their activities a behind closed doors thing. I walked into our room after a long day of student teaching, hoping to sit down and grade some papers in some silence. But no, that is not what happens. I pushed our door open, hands filled with papers and my bags, to find Hobi and Yoongi half-naked on the couch, making out. They seem to not even notice that I walked in. Hobi has Yoongi pressed against the couch, his lips connected to Yoongi’s neck and his hips moving in ways that really should be done in their bedrooms. I need a drink, sigh.

I cleared my throat and tossed my stuff on the table. Yoongi’s eyes shot open and he pushes Hobi off. “Oh- hi, how was teaching?” he quickly asked, trying to not make things awkward, too late. I’m sure my face has been red the second I saw them. Hobi, pulled his shirt on and zipped his pants up, “Babe, let’s go,” he mumbled not looking at me. 

“But, Jin’s back, maybe we can-” Yoongi got cut off by Hoseok. “You can do whatever you want. I’ll be in my room, waiting…” 

Yoongi made an ‘O’ with his lips, clearly confused on why Hobi was acting that way. He stood up and walked right by me. Once his door is shut, I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding.

“What’s that about?” Yoongi asked. I laughed, “I think he’s upset that I am single, or some shit,” I said, going to my room to quickly change out of these slacks and button up. I needed sweatpants. Yoongi followed me, he leaned against the door frame, “He wants you to have a boyfriend, for what reason?” He has confusion written all over his face.

“I don’t fucking know, maybe he’s tired of having me around. Maybe if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t constantly walk in on you guys doing the nasty on the couch,” I gestured to the couch and Yoongi blushed. That fucker still blushes after being with him for so long, cute. 

“We shouldn't have done anything on the couch. It was in the moment, I swear, we have plenty of-.” 

“I get it, don’t explain, that isn’t even the point. The point is your boyfriend is a dumbass trying to force me with people that I don’t even like because he’s tired and annoyed by me.” 

“He’s not tired or annoyed. Hobi is not like that and you know that.” 

I raised an eyebrow, “So wise Yoongs, what is he? Because the bullshit he pulled just now isn’t nothing, is it now?” I asked. I began taking off my clothes, when Hobi walks in, looking irritated. “Yoongi,” he barked, causing both Yoongi and I to jump. “What the hell, Hoseok, I am talking to Jin.” He said, “Yeah, but I said I was waiting. You can always talk to Jin.” 

“We can always fuck too, what’s your point? Why have you been icing out Jinnie?” Yoongi stood up straight and folded his arms. 

“I am not icing him out,” he looks up at me, “I am not icing you out.” 

“Doesn’t really matter. I have a lot of work to do, so if you will please excuse me.” I said trying to push by, but Yoongi stopped me. “No, talk it out now. I swear you both get your panties all twisted, but never just talk shit out.” 

“There is nothing to talk about!” Hobi yelled and I sighed, “I don't have an issue, Hobi has an issue.” 

“What? What's my issue? You are upset because I brought up Namjoon. If you truly didn’t care you would not be upset, now would you?” 

“I am not upset you brought up Namjoon. Fuck Namjoon. It’s the fact that you feel the need to tell me I should get a boyfriend, when I DO NOT WANT A BOYFRIEND!” I shouted 

“Okay, fuck, fine, I really don’t care if you have a boyfriend or not. I was just saying that, you know what, never mind, just quit moping around will you, quit making me feel guilty about my relationship.” 

“Who is making you feel guilty? The last time I checked, I supported this relationship way more than you fucking do,” I said.

“What does that mean?” Yoongi spoke up, worry filled his voice.

“Fuck off, Jin,” Hobi spat before walking away. “Hoseok, what does Jin mean by he supports us more than you do,” Yoongi demands, not letting the issue go.

Damn it, this is getting way more dramatic than it needs to be. Why exactly are we even fighting again? I really just wanted to grade my papers in silence, not listen to the lovely couple fight. 

“Nothing, Yoongs, really,” Hobi said, “Ignore him, will you?” 

Yoongi huffed, “What do you mean ignore him?” 

I sighed, picking up my shit, I will just find somewhere else to do work. Clearly, they are going to have a long ass argument and I needed to get shit done before tomorrow. I walked down the hall to the lounge and decided that this may work. I laid all my things down and began reviewing the spelling test I gave my students today. Most of them are doing well, the ones who aren’t doing so hot, really crack me up on how they spell things. I laugh to myself as I went through the stack, not realizing I was not alone. 

“Your laugh sounds like a choking hyena,” a voice said startling me. I looked up to see Namjoon sitting at the corner desk, one of his ear bud hanging out, a pencil in hand, while he bit his bottom lip. His lips are - stop it Jin. 

“Oh. I didn’t know you were here, I can leave,” I said as I began to gather my things. Where the fuck am I going to go now?

“No, stay. You pay to be here just like I do, but could you pipe down a little?” He asked, a bit of attitude in his voice. Why are people always having a problem with me? I am just trying to grade some spelling test.

I squinted my eyes, trying to come up with a comeback, but I had nothing to say. Before I could think of anything, Namjoon was back to concentrating on his work. Asshole. Maybe he should thank me for helping him with his washer, or I guess not, it’s not like he wanted help. I realized I was still looking at him when he made eye contact with me and gave me a questioning look. I awkwardly coughed and looked back down at the test. 

Focus, Jin, ignore the cute man sitting across the room. Wait not cute, he is not cute. I glanced back up and he was smiling at his phone. Fuck, he’s cute. 

“So, why did you end up leaving the party?” I heard him ask a few minutes later and my head shot back up, “What?” I asked, maybe I misheard him. Why would he ask about his party? That was almost two weeks ago.

“My birthday party, we were uh hanging out, or did I just make that part up?”

“Oh- uh, no, we hung out. I was just all partied out, I guess,” I shrugged. 

Lies, I didn’t want to be ditched for that girl, so I ran for the hills. 

“Hmm, you missed the cake. It was a great cake,” He mumbled. “I'm sure it was,” I said, letting out a small laugh. 

There was no small talk after that, not sure what his goal was, but we both went back to work. I was the first one to leave, I quickly lesson planned for tomorrow’s class and then took my ass to bed. I said a quick goodnight on the way out but didn’t wait for a response. 

____

I didn’t see Namjoon until I was wasted on the following Saturday. I was pushed up against the door to my suite. A hot man kissing my lips, hands under my shirt. I honestly don’t know his name, but I wasn’t interested. I have been worked up since walking in on Hobi and Yoongi and needed some type of relief. 

Whoever this man was, he began kissing my neck. I rolled my head back and my eyes fluttered open for a quick second. I barely realized someone was standing there, but once it is registered, my eyes shot open. Unfortunately, at the same time I let out a moan because hot man decided to run his hand over my dick. Namjoon and I made eye contact for a few seconds before I finally turned the handle to my room, pulling in whatever his name is. Seeing Namjoon only made things worse for me. Did I possibly pretend it was him the whole time I got my ass ripped apart? Yes. 

Am I really ashamed of myself? Definitely. 

____

Hobi and I haven’t talked about our issue since that day. However, we have been acting like things are fine. I sat at the table early on Sunday, once again doing laundry. My head was killing, my body was sore, and neck was stiff from the hickeys left all over. 

“You look fucked out,” Hobi said, walking out of his room. 

“You could say that again,” I laughed. I sat up to grab the water and Advil that Hobi handed to me. “Thanks. It was needed, not sure who he was, but isn’t that the best part?” I asked and Hobi nodded. “Yeah, if you don’t see his face then you don’t have to worry about running into him again because you wouldn’t even know,” 

If only the face in my head wasn’t our RA, I thought to myself, which only made my headache even worse. 

“You and Yoongi okay?” I asked, he nodded. “We’re good,” he said, not sounding too convincing. I brushed it off, Hobi is never sure on what he wants and strings Yoongi along. The poor boy doesn’t even know how many times Hobi has wanted to break up because he thought he wasn’t good enough, but he stays, not sure why, but he does. I personally think they make a great couple, but maybe Hobi isn’t fully ready for the committed relationship lifestyle. He needs to figure it out soon though, it’s almost their three-year anniversary. 

“Okay, so I was thinking for Halloween, we-,” Hobi started off. 

“No, I do not want to dress up as the three little pigs,” I said. 

“That is not what I was going to say, but I love how your mind works,” Hobi grinned and let out a little laugh. 

“Why can’t you two just do your couple costume and leave me to be whatever I want to be?” 

“We can if you want, but we always do a group costume and before that we did best friend costumes. Come on Jinnie,” he said, giving me a pouty face.

“I’m not saying no, it’s just last year being three peas in a pod was ridiculous and I am worried about what you will force us to be this year,” I sighed. 

“Okay, well Yoongi and I were planning on being prisoners and you could be the cop that arrest us!” 

“This just sounds like a third wheeler costume.” 

Hobi huffed, “Drop the whole third wheel thing, you’re not. We want you around! I am not just saying that because I don't want to hurt your feelings. It is genuine and from the heart and it hurts that you think we don’t want you there. You are my best friend and pretty much my brother. I could not imagine you not being around. Look I am sorry if I overstepped with Namjoon, I was just trying to help out. You seem like you have been down, and I don’t know why. That is the only reason why I brought it up. I won’t bring it up again."

Hobi seemed genuine, I wasn’t that upset with him, it was more of the situation, anyway. “Okay, let’s discuss costumes then,” I said, smiling and Hobi nodded. “Great, lets,” he said. 

__

A few weeks passed again before I saw Namjoon, it was a Friday night and I was alone. Hobi went out with a few of his friends from class and Yoongi took the opportunity to have some alone time, which means I was also having alone time. I decided I really wanted some spaghetti. I rarely eat this, but I saw it on the cooking channel recently and it has not left my mind since. 

I played some music, turned on the fairy lights and even decided to drink some wine. I was tired of shots and beer. I am a classy person, or at least most of the time I am. 

Being alone gave me time to think.

Namjoon.

Something about that man really gets to me. Maybe, the fact that he clearly doesn't like me, turns me on? The challenge? I have no clue but what I do know is that night, just hanging out with him was nice. Seeing him in the halls, walking across campus, on duty, at the library, it was all nice. Maybe too nice. I was knocked back into the real world when there was a knock on the door. Who could that be? Maybe Yoongi? Maybe he had enough alone time because me too. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I opened the door and crap, the way the world works against me. 

“Is that spaghetti I smell?” RA Namjoon asked. 

“Uh- that nose of yours seems to be working really well,” I said. “Come in,” I quickly added. 

“You do know why I am here right?” Namjoon stood by the table, staring at the food. I closed the door and grabbed some plates. “You smelled the food, you’re hungry. Don't worry, Seokjin is here to save the day!” 

Namjoon blinked, “No, I am not hungry! Seokjin, you’re a senior, you should know the rules by now. Hot plates are not permitted in the dorms, and what- wine?!? Seokjin! I get it okay. You’re old enough, if you want to drink, but it has to be off campus. This is a dry campus.” I let him ramble on as I dished out some food for the both of us and poured him a glass of wine. 

“Sit down, Namjoonie,” I said, and he scoffed. “Hello, are you listening to me? I am going to have to write you up? Seriously, this is all against the rules! You have your lights daisy chained, you know you can’t do this, and a tapestry too! This is all screaming fire hazard! Hey, Seokjin, listen to me! Look at me when I am speaking!” He demanded and I laughed, “Child will you please sit down. Your food is getting cold.” 

Namjoon stared at me like I had stupid written on my forehead. He hesitated for a few seconds before sitting down. “You have got to be kidding me,” I shoved a forkful into his mouth and his eyes widen. “This is great, really you should- wait no, Seokjin! This is against the rules!” 

“We can discuss those rm rules later on. Enjoy the food will ya? It’s just us so you can have seconds.” That seem to shut him for a little while. He kept looking around the room, probably trying to find something else to get upset about. 

“So, you and Hoseok live here.” 

“Yup, not sure how we got away with it. I know we're supposed to have more people, but the school seemed to not care. I am not complaining. It’s a lot of space, you know, for when friends come over.” I added, my only friend is Hobi. What the hell am I talking about? 

“And your own bathroom, nice” He mumbled, and I nodded. “Convenient, don't have to share the bathroom with you wild animals.” 

“I would take offense, but we are pretty disgusting.” he chuckled, and I smiled. 

“So why are you here on a Friday night?” I asked. 

“Well, I live here,” he said with a straight face and I rolled my eyes. “Okay, let me rephrase. Why did you not go out tonight?”

He shrugged, “Not really feeling it, Tae went out with Jimin and I think they brought Jungkook along.” I nodded, I love that he talks about these people like I know them personally. 

“Tae, he hangs out with your friend, Hoseok. Apparently he talks a lot about you.” 

“Hmm, of course he does, you seem close with Taehyung.”

Namjoon had a quick panic, “Close, yeah, we’re friends.”

I laughed, “So is it Tae?” I asked, and he gave me a questioning look, “Tae?” 

“Your party, you were overwhelmed because of someone. Was it Taehyung?” 

Namjoon laughed, he fully laughed, like bend over laughing. “Oh god, no, Tae is probably the only person I am comfortable with.” 

I nodded, “I get that, he’s your best friend.” 

“It’s just, he’s the only one I can be myself around.” 

“You can with me,” I said and instantly regretted it.

“Were not even friends,” he said and laughed. 

“Oh, you remember our conversation?” 

“Yeah, most of it, I remember a lot of things.” 

I nodded; does he remember him calling me cute? I took a sip of my wine, I realized I haven't really been eating. I am not that hungry anymore. 

“Like, when you called me cute,” he said and I choked, “Wh-what?” I asked. 

“When you threw up on me, you called me cute before you blacked out,” Namjoon mumbled, not looking up. 

“Well you called me cute,” I said staring at him. 

“And is that a problem?” He asked, making eye contact with me. 

“Yes, no, I mean I don't know. I’m not the cute type.” 

“Yeah, you're the handsome type. We all get it.” 

I laughed, “I say that when I am in awkward situations, most of the time. It’s to lighten the mood.” 

“Oh, well, you are,” Namjoon said and sucked in some air, my head hurts. I think the wine is kicking in.

“Okay,” is all I could say. 

There was some silence, “Thanks for the food, I haven't eaten all day.” 

“Thought you said you weren’t hungry.” 

“Didn't realize I was until I got here.” 

“Well there’s more,” I said giving him some and he nodded. “Thanks.” 

I drank some more wine, and tipsy Jin really helped. We spent about another hour and a half talking. He told me about meeting Taehyung, about his ex-girlfriend. He said something about how it ended badly, but he doesn’t want to talk about that. He told me funny stories from being on duty, one of them being me. He actually talked a lot which was surprising. 

I told him about Hobi and meeting Yoongi, I told him about student teaching and my students, and he told me he has always wanted to teach but not the young kids. He doesn’t think kids like him, but that’s not true. Something about him makes everyone love him. 

He helped me clean up and once everything was back to normal, he decided to leave. It was already 1am anyway and Hobi might come stumbling through the door any time soon. I stood by the doorway, holding the handle to open it for him. He put the last plate away and walked over. 

“Thanks again, I will have to write you up tomorrow.” He said smiling and I giggled.

What the fuck. 

“If you do, then I won’t be able to cook anything else for you,” I said and wanted to die. Why would he want me to cook for him? 

“You want to cook for me?” 

“No, I mean. I can, what do you like?” 

Namjoon pursed his lips and looked up, “Hmm,” he said thinking, “Can I get back to you on that one,” he asked, and I nodded. “Yeah, of course,” I said and he smiled. “Okay, I should really go now, see you around,” he said. I stepped out of the way so he could walk out, but tripped over my own feet. He caught me and I laughed, “Oops, I might be a tiny bit drunk.” Namjoon squeezed my arm and I looked up, he was smiling at me and I wanted to melt away. Was he going to kiss me? 

Of course not, are you out of your mind Seokjin? 

I bit my lip and continued staring, he leaned forward. 

“I think I am going to throw up-” I said, and his eyes widen, “Not on me again, please no!” He said scared, he moved me over the trash can. 

“I am so sorry, please leave,” I mumbled, and he laughed. “You’re something, Seokjin.” 

“Namjoon?” Hobi asked, he was standing by the door. “Oh, Hoseok, hi!” he said, and I began puking my brains out. Hobi is so going to tease me about this. 

“What are you doing here, is Jin okay?” 

“Yeah, I was in the hall and saw him stumbling to the door, he looked sick so I helped him in and now he’s, well you can see” 

“I am so sorry, he’s a mess. Thank you for helping, I got it from here.” Hobi said. “Okay, well goodnight,” he said. I heard the door close and I groaned. 

“You’re fucking embarrassing!” Hobi yelled and I puked all over again. I know. He doesn’t need to remind me. 

Namjoon’s POV-

“Absolutely not,” I said, staring at Taehyung who was grinning at like a kid in the candy store. “Tae, that is a ridiculous costume idea,” I continued, “I cannot be seen in that.”

“Namjoonie, trust me it’ll be cute and hilarious,” Taehyung said reassuring me. This will definitely not be cute, maybe for 5-year old, not grown ass adults. 

“Jimin, please tell him this is stupid” I said looking over to his side of the room. 

Jimin held his hands up, “I am staying out of this one, sorry,” he pouted. He is not sorry enough. I am sure he wanted to see me suffer. 

“Do I at least get to be the man with the yellow hat, because I don’t think I’d make a cute monkey,” I folded my arms.

“Yes, you’re the man and I’m George,” Tae grinned.

“The things I do for you,” I mumbled. 

Tae’s eyes lit up, “So you’ll do it?” he asked. 

I sighed, “Anything for you,” I said and Tae jumped onto me, my arm wrapped around his waist as we fell back onto my bed. 

“Gosh, Tae you’re heavy” I groaned, and he rolled off of me. “It’s my fat ass,” he said, dragging my hand over and placing it on.

I gave it a squeeze and he laughed, “I hate you” he said. “Me too,” I smirked. 

Jimin brought us back to reality when he began speaking, “My costume is perfect.” 

I coughed, “Oh yeah, what is it.”

“You’ll see,” Jimin smile.

“Will Jungkook like it?” Tae asked. 

“uh- what do you mean?” Jimin blushed, he has the biggest crush on Jungkook, and it is so obvious. 

“Don’t play dumb. It’s so obvious that your dick twitches every time you’re around Jungkook,” Tae said.

“That’s not true, Jungkook is a cool kid, but I don’t see him in that way.” 

“Hmm, we will see,” Tae laughed, and I rolled my eyes. “Stop forcing people together.” 

“I am not forcing anyone!” Tae argued, he laid his head on chest, and I wrapped my arms around him. He’s annoying. 

Jimin continued working on his paper, Taehyung scrolled through his phone. I laid there with my eyes closed. I didn’t tell Taehyung about Friday night with Seokjin. One, there was nothing to say. Two, I don’t really care. I mean probably shouldn’t have stayed but he is very persistent, and I actually enjoy that about him. 

Thinking about Friday reminds me that I still have to write him up. I can’t play favorites and even if I was. He’s not a favorite. It doesn’t matter how good his food is, how obnoxious and cute his laugh is, how funny he can be, how- Namjoon. Cut it out. Stop thinking about your annoying? Yes, annoying and not handsome resident. He still broke the rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, the cooking scene is the idea that started off the whole thing. Our amazing friend that we love so so much randomly came up with this idea of Namjoon being an RA and Seokjin being the resident who keeps breaking the rules. At first it was a joke and honestly was only supposed to be a one shot but we got carried away, haha. 
> 
> Let's thank our friend for basically being the reason why this fanfic exist. 
> 
> KARI, WE LOVE YOUU!!! 
> 
> (not as much as we love namjin, jk.. maybe ;) )


	5. Love to see you shine in the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really fun for me to write. I really let my **** soul run through these pages and I hope you like it! 
> 
> Song Recommendation: Better By: Khalid

Namjoon’s POV: 

*FLASHBACK* 

The first time it happened, we were drunk, and I enjoyed the way his fingers felt against my skin. We had bought alcohol and sat in my room watching movies all night, taking random shots. The original plan was studying for geography but come on, who does homework on a Friday night? We sat on the floor in front of my computer screen. At some point, I laid back resting my head on his stomach. At some point, he wrapped his arm around my chest and began caressing the sensitive part of my neck. I’m not sure why I didn't stop him, because all I kept thinking was ‘this is going to end just as badly as it did before.’ 

Tae moved his hand away and I immediately missed the warmth it gave, so I tugged it back down to my neck, but I didn't let his hand go. I rubbed my thumb against his palm. Tae knows about what happened with Mark, he knows that I am so confused with who I am, or at least who I thought I was. 

I sat up and grabbed the bottle of vodka. “More?” I asked and he nodded grabbing the bottle, taking a long swig. “Greedy” I teased him, and he pressed the bottle against my lips, tilting it upwards, allowing the alcohol to easily slide into my mouth. I moved my head when it became too much. Which caused some of it to run down my chin to my neck. “Sorry,” Tae said, eyes steadying on my neck. Before I could wipe it away, drunk Tae made his move and drunk Namjoon went along with it. I felt his hot breath against my neck as he licked the alcohol off. I gulped, trying to control my breathing. I closed my eyes enjoying the contact of his lips on my neck. I felt him bite down which sent a chill down my back, I had to stop this. I couldn’t ruin another friendship. “Tae,” I said, my eyes shot open and I slightly pulled away. 

He leaned away from me, “Sorry,” he mumbled. “No worries,” I choked out, taking my seat again next to him to continue the movie. 

The next time it happened, we weren’t even drunk. It was a random Tuesday evening; we had just gotten back to my room after completing a project for geography. What happened a few weeks ago was never brought up. I assumed he might have not remembered since we were drinking, so I went along with it and kept my mouth quiet. Why delve into things that are not necessary. Since I was never given a new roommate after Mark left, I decided to move the two beds together. We both laid on the bed, sprawled out, I was so close to falling asleep. I laid down staring at the ceiling, just thinking. Thinking about the quietness that Tae and I always shared. I was comfortable. With him, I could be myself, probably because he was such a dumbass that nothing I did, would add up to the dumb shit he does. 

I shut my eyes for a few seconds, I probably could have slept, and Tae would have let himself out. After a few minutes, I felt a shift on the bed. Tae had rolled closer to me, he faced me, pushing his body into my side. This was fine, this was normal for us. I felt his hand resting on my chest. He drew circles with his fingers, sending chills down my body. We still had not said one word, so when he finally broke the silence I was scared. 

“Joon” He whispered so quietly, almost as if he did not mean to say it out loud. I turned my head to the side, our faces only inches apart. “Hmm,” I said, not too sure what he would say next. “Sorry,” He said, before leaning forward, pressing his lips to mine. I was taken aback at first. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what I wanted. I let my lips move against his.

Namjoon stop it, I thought to myself. 

But the thing is, I can never listen to myself. We ended up switching positions, both of us sitting up, lips still working in sync just harder, faster. I grabbed his face, holding him steady. I am not sure how long it lasted, it felt like hours, but once I came to my senses and pulled away only 5 minutes had passed. 

Tae stared at me, silence falling over us again. “I’m kinda tired, I think I'm gonna get ready for bed. You can stay if you want,” I quickly muttered breaking our eye contact. 

“Nah, I'll go. Your bed isn't as comfy as mine,” Tae said. I can hear the smile in his voice, but I didn't dare to look at him. I listened to him as he got up and headed to the door. 

“Tae,” I said before he left, He stopped moving, I looked up, but he had his back to me. “Don’t be sorry,” I added. He didn't say anything. He just opened the door and left. 

After that, it took a while for something to happen again. It wasn't until the next semester that he made another move. Soon it became more frequent, soon it became normal. We were closer, held hands, and gave each other small kisses. I didn't know what it meant; I still don't know what it means. I just couldn't handle it anymore. After living with him for a year, a torturous year of trying not to fuck my best friend, I decided it would be easier for this to stop if we didn't live together. If we were too busy to do anything, it would eventually stop. 

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

-Halloween-

A tradition that we have at our school is that the children from town get to walk through the campus and get candy for Halloween. Residents' halls are open, and students are allowed to give candy if they want to. This is something I would never pass up. It seems that children don’t like me very much, but I like them, especially seeing them in their costumes. I signed Jimin and I up to hand out candy, and it was definitely worth it. Seeing the children smile as you give them candy is honestly the best feeling in the world. 

Jimin closes the door after giving out candy to a few more kids. “So, are we going to the Jackson’s Halloween party after this?” He asked. I nodded, “Of course, we are, I am not passing up getting drunk tonight.” It has been a crazy few weeks. Midterms have started and I have been in the library every night working my ass off. I also picked up a few shifts at the library since I was already there. My brain is fried and instead of relaxing, I am going to get wasted. 

There was another knock on the door. “I got it,” I said as I grabbed the candy bowl and opened the door. “Hell-.” 

“Trick or treat!” Taehyung and Jungkook shouted at the same time. I sighed and tried closing the door, but Taehyung’s foot was in the way. “Give me my candy or I will shout and tell all the kids that you are a meany,” Taehyung hissed at me.

“The candy is not for you!” I snapped back; Taehyung pouted. I eyed his costume, his stupid monkey costume. Jungkook was a bunny, a ridiculously sized bunny. 

“You both are pathetic,” I said, “Come inside and you can get the leftover candy.” 

They both grinned and tried walking through the door at the same time which ended with them shoving each other and bickering.

“Jungkook, hi!” Jimin smiles. “Hello,” Jungkook blushed. I rolled my eyes. They both obviously like each other. 

“Why are you not dressed?” Taehyung asked going to my closet and pulling out my costume.

“Taehyung, I look fucking stupid!” I whined 

“It’s Halloween. It’s the one time of the year you can look stupid and get away with it,” he argued, shoving the costume into my hands. “Get dressed, now! You too, Park!” 

“Well uh, okay, I will, but I really thought we were going to go the sexy route and my costume is kind of, not appropriate for the children to see,” Jimin said 

I snorted, “Put a sweater on or something.” 

“Jungkook, what are you doing?” Taehyung asked, the boy was standing with his eyes closed. I raised my eyebrows and looked at him and then at Taehyung who just shrugged. 

“He said it’s inappropriate for children so I closed my eyes,” Jungkook said innocently and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Kook, not you. You’re fine,” I said.

Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at Jimin who was now dressed in his Peter Pan costume. It was inappropriate. His costume was tight, hugging him in the right places, the v neck was cut very low. Jimin’s ass looked amazing and honestly, my dick was sort of twitching. Just imagine how Jungkook felt. 

I looked over at Jungkook whose eyes were closed, again. “I am not fine,” he whispered, causing Jimin to blush and Taehyung to laugh. I get it Jungkook, we all get it. 

“You look really hot, Jimin” Taehyung complimented him. “Thank you. But I feel out of place,” he said shyly. 

“We’re going to a college Halloween party, I am sure there are even sluttier costumes than what you have on,” Taehyung said trying to comfort Jimin. Jimin pouted, “You’re right,” he said pulling a sweater over his outfit. 

I changed into my costume and heard some snickering. “Jungkook, stop laughing at me!” I whined. “Oh, come on, I can’t help it and you know it!” He said laughing

“Tae, I told you!” I cried out. “Joonie, you look cute like you always do,” he said squeezing my cheeks and I rolled my eyes, “You’re lying.” 

There was another knock on the door. Tae and Jungkook both gasped. “I got it!” Taehyung said. “No, I want to give the children candy!” Jungkook said grabbing the bowl off of Jimin’s desk. 

“No, I told you on the way here that I wanted to hand out candy,” Taehyung said grabbing the bowl. 

I sighed and looked over at Jimin who was smiling with loving eyes at our stupid friends. Why is he so nice? “No, I got it, you both sit down or no candy for you,” I said. They both pouted and took their seats. That actually worked, fucking idiots. 

“Trick or Treat!” Hoseok yelled, holding out a bucket. You have got to be kidding me. 

“The candy is for the children!” I informed him and he rolled his eyes. “What a loser. Hello everyone, are you ready to party?” He grinned. Yoongi, who was with him rolled his eyes. Seriously, why did Taehyung invite them again? 

“Hobi,” Taehyung grinned, “I didn’t think you guys were coming.” 

“We weren’t but Jinnie changed his mind last minute, he said he found the perfect costume,” Hoseok said, right when his best friend walked. 

“Oh my god,” Jungkook shouted 

“I am not the only one dressed slutty!” Jimin beamed.

“Jin! What the hell? You chose this over a cop?” Hoseok asked. Taehyung was laughing his ass off, and Yoongi only shook his head holding back a laugh. 

I eyed Seokjin. His costume was a bit ...out there. 

He was a cowboy but no, not just a normal cowboy. He wore a vest, no shirt. I repeat, no shirt. His pants were tight-fitting, it looked sort of uncomfortable but also really good on him. On top of that, he had a hat on and a bandana. To make it even worse. There was a sign hung around his neck. The front said, ‘save a horse’ and the back well. 

“What does the sign say in the back?” I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know.

He spun around; his ass looks amazing. Better than Jimin’s. “Ride a cowboy” Hoseok read out loud causing everyone else to laugh. 

Shit. 

“You’re fucking shameless,” Yoongi said laughing and Seokjin shrugged. “I’m hot, why not take advantage of it, right Namjoon,” he smirked at me and I didn’t really know what to say.

“Huh?” I said breaking out of my trance. Was it obvious I was staring?

“What are you supposed to be?” Seokjin asked.

“He’s the man with the yellow hat and I’m Curious George,” Taehyung said wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me into him. He kisses my cheek and I push him away. “Get away from me,” I groaned, “I hate this costume,” complaining about the nth time.

Seokjin grinned at me before shrugging. “You don’t look bad,” he mumbled. I barely heard him over everyone’s chatter. 

“Let’s go, Jackson just texted,” Taehyung said. He grabbed my hand pulling me out the door. Everyone followed behind us, talking and laughing. Parties give me weird anxiety but getting drunk is one of the best parts of college. 

Once we got to the party, I felt a little better since I had a drink in my hand. Taehyung was a little drunk. Okay, a lot drunk. He doesn’t normally like drinking, and it takes the smallest amount to actually get him wasted. Taehyung, when he’s drunk is handsy and needy. He stuck by my side and wouldn’t leave me alone. Not that I really wanted to be left alone. This wasn’t like my birthday party at all. My birthday meant I was the center of attention and I felt as though everyone was watching me. However, tonight I could hide in the kitchen, near the alcohol, the same spot I hung out with Seokjin last time and not be bothered. 

Our group was scattered around the place, but my eyes wouldn’t leave Seokjin. He was dancing in the middle of the room. Everyone loved his costume. Of course, they did. Hoseok and Jungkook eventually joined him. Jimin hung out with Yoongi and they both grinned at the three of them dancing. 

“Dance with me” I heard Taehyung say and I chuckled. “Not in this lifetime. You know I don’t dance,” I said.

“You didn’t have a problem dancing with Jin, at your birthday party.” His voice had a hint of jealousy in it, but I brushed it off. 

“I was so wasted like so wasted Taehyung, I barely even remember dancing with him,” I mumbled, still eyeing him down. 

“Fine, don’t dance with me. Stand here alone and continue drooling over Jin,” he scoffed. 

“You’re being ridiculous,” I said. I downed what was in my cup and poured myself another drink. 

“I’m not drooling over Seokjin, he’s so annoying,” I said, not making eye contact with Tae. I heard him chuckle, “He can be annoying, but you have to admit that he is hot, even though his dance moves right now is throwing off the entire look.” 

I chuckled, he’s right, but for Seokjin it somehow works. 

Taehyung ended up walking away to go dance which meant I was left alone, sadly. I interacted with a few other people. I am well known; I just don’t care for the big group of friends. I keep it sweet and simple when it comes to mingling. I eventually made my way over to the couch. No one was really sitting. People were either drinking, dancing, smoking, or already hooking up. 

“Bro, you’re killing me!” I heard Jackson scream as he sat down next to me. “What the fuck is your costume?” He asked and I groaned. “It was Taehyung’s idea!” Shouting, causing Jackson to laugh. 

Jackson passed me the joint he was smoking, and I took a hit. I haven’t smoked in a while, but this might help me calm down and actually let me enjoy the party. 

“It only makes sense when we’re together, but he ran off somewhere. Probably hitting on some guy, who knows, it’s Tae we’re talking about,” I said.

“You’re right, but you know he doesn’t sleep around. He's probably talking to someone about you,” Jackson chuckled, and I rolled my eyes. “Maybe.” Taehyung and I are really close and hooking up with him is a secret that we don’t even talk about let alone tell others. 

Do I feel guilty sometimes, yes? Do I stop it, no? There’s a very selfish part of me. I enjoy being with him a little bit too much, but that’s all it is. Physical. Never emotional, for me at least. I’m worried Taehyung will or has already crossed the line. 

Jackson and I sat smoking and talking to each other for a little while. He told me about his crazy nights out so far and I couldn’t stop laughing. This guy is crazy, but the fun type of crazy. The guy you want around if you really want to have a good time.

I rested my head on the couch, I looked down in my empty cup and contemplated if I wanted to move. My body felt heavy, I was comfortable. “Do you want to come out with? Jinyoung and I were going to smoke outside some more.” I shook my head, “Nah, I am good. I'm going to go find Tae,” I said. If Jinyoung is there, that means Mark is there and I do not want to deal with that right now. 

Jackson left right when Taehyung came. He sat on my lap, one leg on either side of me.

“Hmm, baby,” Taehyung said wrapping his arms around my neck. 

“Tae, you’re drunk. You should slow down on the drinking,” I said. I grabbed his arms and tried to get him off of me. 

“Can’t you just have fun Joon,” he started unbuttoning my shirt, showing my chest. “Taehyung, stop it,” I said pushing him away. 

“Gosh, Joon, there’s no way of making you happy huh?” he rolled his eyes but settled his face into a pout. 

“Love don’t act like that,” I said. I hate when he’s sad. Even if he is pretending right now to get his way.

“You’re not having fun and you hate our costume idea.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think yellow is my color,” I mumbled. I pulled him into a hug. His face nuzzled in my neck. 

“You’re right, it’s not,” he said against my neck. I felt him leave a wet kiss and shuttered. 

“Taehyung, we’re in public,” I whispered. 

“Even better,” he said, nipping the sensitive part of my neck. We haven’t done anything in a while. I should stop him, but I also wanted him to continue. He brought one hand up to grip my hair as he continued to leave wet kisses on my neck and jaw. His other hand ran down my chest. I threw my head back and let out a soft grunt. He always makes me feel good. 

After a few minutes, I lifted my head back up and Taehyung rested his forehead against mine. I stared at his lips, he smiled at me. “Will you have fun now?” He asked and I nodded, he quickly gave me a peck before buttoning up my shirt again and standing up. 

We grabbed some more drinks and headed to join our friends on the dance floor. Most of the night continued that way. We all danced around together and Seokjin continued to make everyone laugh. Once I got into the zone, I actually did have a good time. I still could not take my eyes off of Seokjin, expect when he began dancing with some guy who he clearly was going to take home. They were all over each other and I felt this weird little thing called jealousy developing in my chest. I tried to brush it off as best as I could. I was enjoying my time with my friends. 

Seokjin obviously does not like me. He hasn’t spoken to me since our Friday night together at his place. I thought that maybe after that he would be more open to me, but we still continue to act as if nothing happened. As if I didn’t open up to him that night and show a side of me that I kept hidden from everyone. 

The night ended with me being alone in bed, annoyed by the fact that Seokjin was probably having the time of his life with whoever that guy is right across the hall from me. 

Taehyung ended up passing out in Jimin’s bed, and Jimin was too nice so he slept on the floor with Jungkook who somehow fell asleep in his costume and we were too drunk to even try to get him out of it. 

What a night. Next time, I choose the costumes.  
___

The following Wednesday night, Jimin was still out at the gym. Tae had stopped by needing some help with homework. I sat at my desk with Tae leaning over me, he listened as I explained to him how to do the math problem, but his face still showed confusion. 

“Maybe you should take a break. How long have you been doing homework?” I asked, I closed his textbook and handed it to him. “Hours, I was planning on getting all my statistics done and then writing my research paper, but I’ve been stuck on this problem for hours,” he pouted and threw himself down on my bed. I got up and followed him. We laid near each other in silence. I thought to myself that this is one of the only times we’ve been alone since meeting Jimin and Jungkook. They slowly became part of the group, the four of us do a lot together so it’s never really just Tae and me anymore. 

I thought about the last time we actually hooked up, besides that moment at the party last week. The last time we went further than we usually did. We made it to hand jobs and blow jobs, those were not frequent though. It was mostly a few minutes of making out. I still felt just as bad as the first time. I didn't feel any different towards Tae. He’s my best friend, he definitely helps with the need for something sexual but that’s it. The number of times I’ve found myself under him, I knew I was into guys. It was only Tae, no one else. 

I mean besides, Seokjin, but Seokjin is complicated. Seokjin is Seokjin. 

I occasionally hooked up with people from parties, but I mostly found myself in Tae’s bed by the end of the night. With him being my roommate, it was most nights. All I knew was that this was not supposed to last this long. 

“I need to find a job,” Tae said lifting himself up, “I am so broke. I can’t afford the bars right now. I’m barely surviving with classes, don’t know if I’ll make it with a job. How do you do it?” 

“Barely alive,” I mumbled. I rolled to my side and faced him, “Ever since I began applying to grad school, I’ve been rethinking my choice of graduating early. Why would I leave all my friends behind?” I said, this really has been on my mind lately.

“Joon, regardless of when you graduate, we’re all going our separate ways. College doesn’t last forever and why would you stay? What would you do here? Take random classes, waste your time and money?”

“Yeah but I’ll miss this,” I said playing with my fingernails, not trying to make eye contact. Not knowing what I really meant by ‘this’, the friendship or the random hookups? 

“I’ll miss it too, especially when you’re not here but it’s life and things will be okay? Can’t we just enjoy our last year together, stop being a party pooper?” he whined, and I laughed. “I guess you’re right. You’re not supposed to be the smart one here,” I smiled.

Tae scoffed and nudged me in the stomach. I playfully pushed him back which caused him to hit me with a pillow. I leaned over him to grab a pillow to try to hit him back but somewhere in the middle of all of this Tae’s fingers ended up in my hair. I unclenched the pillow and moved my hand up to his chin. We looked at each other for a few seconds before Tae leaned into me, our mouths connecting. He was warm and sweet, just like he always is. I shifted my body so that I was hovering over him, his hands found his way under my shirt. 

Our kiss deepened, I felt him sucking on my bottom lip. It drives me crazy when he does that. I positioned our bodies, so our fronts were pressed together. We both were way too hard for just kissing but it’s normal. We don’t really move past this stage. Someone stops in the middle, leaving us both with blue balls. I didn’t want to stop yet; I shouldn’t have even started. 

Tae wrapped his legs around me pulling us closer together, his fingers drew circles into my back. I let out a soft moan which caused him to smile. I kissed down his jaw to his neck. This is different. I’m usually not the one in control, I just let him do whatever, but I liked seeing him under me, his eyes shut tight, watching his breathing change. 

I bit down on his neck and he moaned. He tilted his head allowing his neck to be more exposed. I continued sucking on his soft skin. His hips bucked up and I liked it a little too much, before I knew it, we both were shirtless, grinding into each other, our mouths connected, tongues exploring each other as if we’ve never done this before. 

We didn’t let this get any further. Maybe it would have if the door to my room didn’t swing open and Jimin letting out a gasp. We untangled ourselves from each other. We scrambled to get our shirts on and sat on the bed looking guilty in front of Jimin who wouldn’t stop apologizing and insisting he would leave. 

“I didn’t know. You should have- I don’t know- leave a sock on the handle, texted, email me? I don’t know. I’m sorry,” he kept rambling. 

“Jimin, shut up,” Tae said standing up, I could see that he was still semi-hard.

“I — sorry,” he said again. 

“I’m gonna go,” Tae said grabbing his books off the floor. I didn’t even realize we knocked them over. 

“You don’t have to go. I’ll leave. Sorry, I stayed too long. You guys can continue uh...” 

“There’s nothing to continue besides homework, see you later,” Tae said before walking out leaving Jimin confused and me, well not surprised. He always runs away after. We don’t address it ever. It happens, we move on. That’s it.

“I’m going to shower,” I said standing up, feeling disgusted. 

“Okay?” Jimin worded as a question. I’d explain if I could, but I can’t. I sighed and grabbed my shit before heading to the shower. 

—-  
A few days later I decided to text Tae. I haven’t heard from him in a while-which is not normal. It was weird that he didn’t text back right away, everything was weird. He usually would barge into the next day acting like nothing happened but this time he was distant. Maybe because we got caught, no one knew about this but now I can see the questions oozing out of Jimin, but I didn’t have answers and he didn’t have the guts to actually ask. 

I decided to go to his room. I don’t go there normally because well, Jungkook and Taehyung usually are in our room before we even are there... I knocked on the door and in a matter of seconds, it flew open. Tae stood in no shirt, baggy sweatpants, and messy hair. I noticed the hickey still on his neck from me. 

“Oh, hey,” he said smiling 

“Oh, hey?” I asked, “What the fuck? Why have you been ignoring me?” 

“I’m not, just busy,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow, “Okay well move aside,” I said trying to get past him, but he blocked me. 

“Seriously dude, what the fuck is your issue?” I asked.

“I’m busy!” he snapped back at me.

“So, I can’t hang out while you do work? You walk into my room anytime you fucking please.”

“Because you’re a dumbass who never locks the door. Anyone could just walk in you idiot,” he said, and I scoffed. “No one just walks in, it’s open for you, dipshit.” 

“Whatever, I’m busy right now with stats homework,” he said. 

“Fine, call me when you’re done being an asshole,” I said. 

He rolled his eyes and slammed his door in my face. That went well. 

Tae didn’t call for another few days, he didn’t even text. I had just finished a shift of night hosting and walked into my room. Tae was playing video games with Jimin, they both looked up at me and smiled. “How was hosting?” Jimin asked I couldn’t believe they were up at this hour playing video games. 

“Tiring, I got a lot of work done though. There wasn’t a lot of people coming in and out,” I said, I put my stuff on my desk and I felt the tension in the air. It was so thick I could barely breathe. Jimin had asked me multiple times why Tae wasn’t around as much. I knew he wanted to ask about that night, but he was afraid and just, as usual, I didn’t have an answer. Tae normally never shuts me out. He always started these things. The only difference was we got caught this time.

“I should go, it’s late,” Taehyung stood up and I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He waved bye to Jimin and gave me a half-smile before leaving. 

The second the door shut Jimin looked at me. “Do you have feelings for Tae?” he asked, and I was taken aback. “What?” I asked.

“You heard me Namjoon, do you or do you not have feelings for Tae?” he questioned me again. 

“I- we’re friends Jimin, why?” 

“So, you don’t see him as anything, but a friend?” He asked and I sighed, “Jimin, no he’s just my best friend.” 

“Well you don’t act like just best friends,” he stated, his voice dry, filled with judgment.

“Did Tae say something?” I asked and Jimin shrugged, “Talk to him, he wouldn’t say much.” 

“What the hell do you think I’ve been trying to do?” I raised my voice a little. 

“Then try harder Namjoon. Are you dumb? Are you blind? Are you that cold-hearted?” Jimin turned his game off and grabbed his stuff to get ready for bed. 

“What the hell am I missing?” I was confused. I don’t get why Tae is this upset with me. We didn't do anything that we haven’t done before. 

“He didn’t say much, I can kinda figure it out from the way things are playing out. If you don’t have feelings for him then stop fucking him.” 

“I’m not, we’re not-.” 

“Call it whatever the hell you want, but just stop if it means nothing to you,” Jimin spat before heading to the bathroom. 

I genuinely was confused; I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to figure out what the hell is wrong with Tae, so I stormed down to his room. I knocked on the door a few times. I hope Jungkook wasn’t there and if he was, I hope I wasn't distributing his sleep. 

Tae opened the door, he stood squinting at me, the light in the hallway way too much for him, “What do you want Joon?” he asked, his voice laced in sleep. 

I didn’t say anything. I pushed myself into his room and filled his lamp on. Jungkook was thankfully not here. “We’re best friends, aren’t we?” I asked sitting on his bed. 

Are you kidding me? You’re here to ask me such a ridiculous question?” 

“It’s not ridiculous Taehyung. We’re best friends that’s it,” I stated this time and he nodded, “Yah. I know.” 

“Do you really?” I asked. 

“Do I really what?” He stared at me with confused eyes.

“Do you really know that we’re just friends?”

“Of course, what else would we be?” He scoffed. 

“Okay then as your best friend, you have to explain why the hell you’ve been ignoring me since... since you know what.” 

“I’ve been busy like I said before.” 

“You weren’t busy tonight.” 

“And your point is?”

“Fuck Tae! What the fuck did I do? You-you're the one who started all of this!” 

“All of what!” he shouted. He needs to stop playing dumb. At this point, I was extremely confused and irritated. 

“The hooking up,” I said for the first time addressing it.

“You go along with it every time! If you didn’t want to, then we wouldn’t have done this for so long,” Tae said crossing his arms. 

I didn’t answer, he’s right I could have stopped it, but I didn’t want to. 

“Taehyung,” I said looking up at him. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I stood up and walked over to him. “Taehyung look at me,” I demanded, our faces only a few inches apart. 

“Kiss me,” I said. Just once and see how I feel, that’ll do it. 

He laughed, “No, what the hell?” 

“Do it?” I said, “Why!?” he yelled, “Because just do it,” I yelled back. 

We stood staring at each other before I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. He eventually relaxed and wrapped his arms around my neck. We stood kissing for a while. 

Nothing. I felt nothing. 

I liked it. I liked what it was, not who it was with. Yes, I felt comforted by Tae, but I don’t love him, I don’t feel what you’re supposed to feel with someone you love. 

I didn’t stop though, and I knew I should’ve because this is tearing my best friend apart. I’m tearing my best friend apart. Tae hasn’t been with anyone for as long as I’ve known him, and I didn’t realize this until right now. Maybe because for him all he wanted was me, I couldn’t return the favor, I selfishly couldn’t. 

I pulled away, tears rolling down Tae’s cheek. “Get out,” Tae said quietly. 

“I don’t want to,” I said, our foreheads pressed against each other’s.

“You’re being an asshole,” Tae sniffled. 

“I know,” I mumbled. 

“Then stop it because I can’t, I can’t be the one to end this.” 

“Don’t. Just for tonight, don’t. We don’t have to go any further than we usually do, just, keep kissing me,” I brought my hand up to his chin and tilted his head up, so his lips pressed to mine. 

What started off soft then it turned rough and angry. Tae took all of his emotions out on me through our kiss and I let him because it’s what he deserves.

After a while of kissing and slowly undressing, Tae stopped. He looked down at me. “You don’t love me,” he whispered, his eyes filled with pain and I wish I could fix it, but I couldn’t because he’s right. I didn't. 

“And fuck, I love you so much,” he said.

I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t. Instead I kissed him again feeling guilty.

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I’m a horrible person. 

— 

After we were done, we lay next to each other. I was too afraid to speak; I didn’t know what was next. I thought maybe Tae had fallen asleep, but then he shifted and looked at me. 

“I was never mad at you, I never needed you to feel the same. I knew from the first time it was just hooking up to you, but I let my dumbass fall in love with you and last time it just hurt me so much more. Not sure why but it did, and I was avoiding you because I hated that I saw you more than what you saw me for,” Tae said. He sat up and got dressed, I followed in his actions. 

“I’m selfish,” I said looking at him and he shrugged, “Yeah and I’m stupid, but this is why it stops. We both are getting hurt. I can’t handle it anymore Joon. I need this to be over.” I nodded, “Yeah definitely, I was hoping that by not living together it would just stop because I was too much of a coward to verbally end it.”

“I know we never really talked about this before and I should have said something because we both didn't know why we were doing this but we both kept going along with it. I was scared that if it was addressed it would ruin our friendship. Maybe it did because it’s so hard to be around you sometimes. I wish I didn’t feel this way.” Tae got back into bed and I sat next to him. 

“You don’t have to tell me how you feel Tae. I should have been more considerate. I'm not an idiot, I could tell when this became more serious for you. I thought this would help, this would help me figure out how I felt towards guys and yeah, it did. I still couldn't admit it. I just kept saying it’s only because of you. But Taehyung, I don't see you in that way...” my voice faded off, I hate saying this to him. I hate hurting him.

I looked at him and he shrugged, “I know Joonie I know; I'm not asking you too. I'm truly glad I could help you figure shit out. I am sorry things went to shit with Mark and your ex. Maybe you should hook up with someone else and see how it goes... Maybe a certain someone” He suggested, and I knew exactly who he was hinting at but chose to ignore it. 

“That’s the thing, I like doing this with you because I’m comfortable. You know me so well, you know how to make me feel-.” I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks, Tae bit his lips, not making eye contact. “Yeah, it’s good with you and I’m scared to do it with anyone else.” 

“I’m sorry, I really can't do this anymore,” Tae whispered, “It is great with you Namjoon. I just- the feelings are too much, I can't be attached to you anymore.” 

I nodded, “No, yeah, it's over, we’re over.” This sounded like a weird break up and somewhere inside of me ached. I love Taehyung too much to keep this going, he needs to get over me and find someone so much better. It’s not me. It will never be me. 

“Yup, it’s late, can we just talk in the morning?” Tae asked. 

“Will you actually talk though?” I asked, “or will you continue to ignore me?” 

“I really don’t know, Namjoon. I really need to sleep.” 

“Okay-” I was going to continue my sentence, but Tae’s door opened and Jungkook came walking in, well more like wobbling in. His face lit up when he saw that we were both up. “YO BUDDIES, HOW’S IT GOING?” Jungkook shouted.

“Jungkook, please be quiet. It’s quiet hours,” I said. 

Jungkook walked over to us, he sat on the bed as well. Tae rolled his eyes, “Jungkook, you cannot sleep in this bed, again.” 

Jungkook pouted, he stared us both down with a smug look. “Were you guys fucking? Jimin told me he walked in on you guys fucking,” he slurred. 

Damn you Jimin. 

“No, what the hell!” Tae yelled I sighed. “Okay Kookie, let’s get you to bed.” I stood up and helped him get into his bed. “Damn Namjoon, that hickey on your neck is turning me on.” 

“JUNGKOOK!” Tae shouted. I gasped, looking in the mirror. 

“Taehyung, are you fucking crazy?” I stared at him wide-eyed, it was huge and gross looking. I ran my finger over it, my skin was tender and swollen. 

“So, you were fucking,” Jungkook said smiling. “Shut the hell up, go to sleep,” I said. 

“Joonie, it’s not that bad, we can cover it up,” Tae said running over to inspect it. This asshole knew exactly what he did. I could sense the smirk in his voice.

I sighed in defeat, “Let’s just go to sleep,” I said. This night really just needs to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are my VMON enhusiats okay? Did you expect it? 
> 
> Let us know what you think or how you feel!!


	6. If I could tell you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
This chapter has more Namjin in it so don't worry, this has not become a vmon story even though it seemed as though we were about to do a quick switch-up in the last chapter. I hope you enjoy! As per usual please let us know how you feel about the fic! 
> 
> Song Recommendation: 3 am By Finding Hope

*November* 

Jungkook POV: 

Being the youngest one here, you would think I am the stupidest, but the crap I see my friends do really blows my mind. They are all so clueless about the things happening in their lives, especially when it comes to the people they like. Now, I am not the one to talk about love and relationships because I have the biggest crush on Jimin and cannot speak properly around him, however, I am smart enough to know that he does feel the same way. Jimin has no clue that I do like him. I have asked Namjoon and he says that Jimin is so clueless that he doesn't even know that he likes me. Namjoon though is just as clueless when it comes to the boy across the hall who would probably risk his life for him. Jin for sure has the fattest crush on Namjoon and I think somewhere behind Namjoon’s icy heart, he feels the same way. Namjoon just gets himself into stupid situations, for example, Taehyung. He should have stopped hooking up with Taehyung ages ago. I mean I get it, Tae is hot, Tae has a big dick, whatever, but they are best friends. Friends with benefits is already a really slippery slope, just imagine best friends. 

Seeing the way Taehyung is glued to Namjoon’s ass really puts things into perspective for me. I never want to be that far up someone’s ass who clearly does not feel the same way. At first, I thought they were dating but no, Taehyung has their entire life planned out while Namjoon is worried about what he should have for breakfast. I feel bad though, liking someone and not having it be returned is a really shitty place to be in. That is why when Taehyung is not talking to Namjoon, after hooking up the other night, I completely understand and I’m not rushing him to make amends with Joon anytime soon. 

If Taeyhung thinks he needs space, then he will get his space, and I will make sure of that. So, for the past week, every time Namjoon came to our door, I would either make up some stupid excuse or let him know straight up that Taehyung does not want to see his face. 

Taehyung and I have been hanging out a lot since he isn’t with Joon anymore. I am so glad that he got over the hatred he had towards me. Or maybe he didn’t, and he is just using me for his own benefits right now. But it seems as though we are slowly becoming really good friends. Obviously, not on the same level as him and Namjoon but I do not expect that at all. At first, Taehyung would not even say hello. It made me feel bad, I thought I was doing something wrong. Jimin comforted me and told me that Taehyung is just upset that he is not rooming with Namjoon, so he is taking everything out on me. I guess that is fair, or at least I will let it be fair and not make a big deal out of it. 

Jimin stops by once in a while but never long enough to actually say that we have hung out. He is only checking up on Tae, being sent by Namjoon of course. Tae says he’s fine, but I swear I have caught him crying so many times while looking at the pictures of him and Namjoon on his wall, in just one day. Jimin says that Namjoon has been trying to keep himself busy. He already is always busy but knowing that there is an issue with Taehyung is forcing him to not be able to get anything done. 

Jimin also stopped by a few days ago to make plans with me for this weekend. He is hoping that Namjoon and Taehyung will come along, however, he knows that that is highly unlikely. It has only been a little over a week since they broke off whatever the hell they were, and I know for a fact that Taehyung is not ready to see Namjoon. 

That is why when I am heading to the bar to meet Jimin with a very sulky Taehyung on Saturday I am really confused about why he did not just stay at home and cry it out. Drinking his problems away will not help the situation, drinking his problems away at the same bar as Namjoon will definitely not help the situation. 

We walked in together, the energy is wild, people are really having a good time however my energy is awkward because when Namjoon saw Tae he smiled but Taehyung did not even make eye contact and I can already see how this night will play out. 

“Kookie,” Jimin says as he greets me once I get closer, he puts one arm around my shoulders and drags me away from our two pathetic friends. “This is not a good idea, why did you bring him?” I asked 

“I told him I was going out with you; I did not mention Taehyung because you said he would not come.” Jimin hissed at me, we both looked over at our friends who were standing right next to each other but looking in different directions. “I really wanted to have fun with you tonight, not keep our friends away from each other.” 

“This night already feels like an episode of ‘Friends’ when both Rachel's mom and dad ended up at her birthday party,” Jimin mumbled.

“This is not the time to be referencing ‘Friends’, but I love that episode,” I added. Jimin gave me a high five, he didn’t pull away though, he locked our fingers together and we stood to hold hands. 

Act cool, Jungkook, act cool. 

“Your hand is really soft,” I said. 

That was not fucking cool you DUMBASS! 

Jimin smiled, “Thanks.”

“Want to get some drinks, I cannot survive this night without alcohol,” I huffed out, pulling Jimin behind me, not wanting to let go of his hand.

We grabbed drinks for the four of us and headed back to our friends. They were still standing in the same spot, however, Jin and his two friends were nowhere too. Taehyung was in deep conversation with Hobi, he was laughing at something Hobi had said. Namjoon was making an awkward conversation with Jin. Jimin and I greeted everyone and handed our friends their drinks. “So, what is going on?” Yoongi asked me on the side and I was sort of confused because he never really speaks to me alone. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. He gestured to Taehyung and Namjoon, “I feel like I am witnessing two exes hanging out right now, but they weren’t dating, right? If so, Jin might have a mental break down about Namjoon, again.” 

“No, they weren’t, wait does everyone know about Namjoon and Tae? They really think they're playing it off well, but it is not working.” 

“Well at the Halloween party, I sort of saw them on the couch and tried to make sure Jin did not see but sadly he did and ended up sleeping with some random guy to prove that he does not care.” 

“Oh my god, really? Jimin only found out a few weeks ago after the party because he walked in on them in bed.”

Yoongi opened his eyes wide. “Oh damn, but they're not dating right?” 

“Well no, the problem is that Tae is like in love with the guy but Namjoon was just in it for the sex, I guess. Joonie sort of likes Jin, or at least that is what Taehyung says and he would know best right?”

“Ahh, well Jin should talk to Namjoon. He thinks Namjoon doesn’t like him.” 

“Namjoon thinks Jin doesn’t like him.” 

“They are both idiots. Hobi told me a few weeks ago he walked in after going out and Namjoon was already there helping Jin as he threw up, but Hobi said Jin didn’t go out so how would he have known that Jin was sick?” 

I shrugged, “I do not know man, they’re all messed up, I can’t keep up with it. Are you and Hobi okay? Hobi ranted to Tae and Tae told Namjoon who told Jimin who told me that you guys had some huge fight which all started from a comment that Jin made.”

Yoongi laughed, “yeah, I don't think anyone is having a great time with love right now.” He mumbled, looking over to Hobi who was shaking Taehyung and screaming. 

“Hobi is loud,” I muttered, taking a sip of my drink. 

“Hobi is faking it, like always, he’s different when we’re alone. This Hobi, I am not honestly a fan of, I used to be, but things are different now. I love him though which may be the issue,” Yoongi said sadly. 

Our conversation was cut short when Hobi and Taehyung walked up to us, “Baby, I'm going to go smoke out back, okay?” He gave Yoongi a quick kiss and left. I looked at Yoongi who looked sad, “I’m sorry.” Not sure what I was sorry for. Perhaps sorry that he wasn’t happy. Yoongi shrugged, Jin walked up to us, “Okay, so this is what we’re going to do,” Jin starts and I wanted to laugh, “No Jin I do not want to be a part of any of your stupid plans.”

“I was just going to say, we should join them out back, but okay.” He said storming off, Yoongi rolled his eyes, “That's my cue, going to find dramatic Jin, have fun, good luck with Jimin!” I did not have time to ask what he meant by that before he was gone, leaving Jimin and me alone. 

“Did we just get ditched by all our friends?” Jimin asked and I nodded, “Yeah I guess, where did Namjoon go?” I asked looking around, “Hmm, not sure, don’t really care, let’s dance,” Jimin said grabbing my arm and laughing. Once again, his hand is so soft. 

Namjoon’s POV: 

I did not want to be here anymore, I stood by the bar all night drinking when I spotted Taehyung coming back from smoking, I decided to try to talk to him because maybe he would listen now. He has not really answered any of my texts. He says that he is not mad, but I know he is, and he has every right to be mad. I just wish this could blow over sooner rather than later. 

“Taehyung, please talk to me” I pleaded, following him around. I did not know that he would be here. I probably wouldn't have come. I miss my best friend. I did not think I did but not having Tae around is really taking a toll on me. “Why the hell are you even here Namjoon?” Taehyung spat, he turned around to look at me. This is the most he has said to me in days. 

“Because our friends are here, you’re here,” I said, I stepped closer and he turned back around to walk away. I kept following him, he was heading to the back, where our friends were.

Friends, that is so weird to say. I guess they are my friends, we hung out a lot.

“Listen, just because I said I’ll forgive you doesn’t mean everything is okay,” Taehyung stopped in his tracks once we were back with our friends. 

“But, isn’t that what forgiving someone means?”

Taehyung laughed, he looked over to our friends, probably trying to find a way to escape.

“Do you not get it? You’re so fucking smart but you can’t process this?” He asked, his voice rising, “I’m too drunk for this, or maybe not drunk enough,” Taehyung said. 

I stood there looking at my feet, “Can we talk somewhere else Tae, please.” I looked up and saw Tae shaking his head, no, “Joonie, please.” He said quietly, he walked closer to me, “I miss you, you’re such a pain in the ass, you are so annoying and loud and dramatic and I miss you” I whispered since he was now close enough. “I miss you too, so much, I wish it was easier, but I can’t be around you if I want to get over you,” He said, I finally looked at him and he was staring at me, tears rolling down his cheeks. I lifted my hand to wipe them away, but he grabbed it and held it. “We will be okay, I promise you, we will be okay,” he mumbled. “Just please give me time, please, I mean this in the nicest most loving way, leave me alone,” he said. He wiped his tears and dropped our hands. 

I nodded, “Okay,” was all I could say. He’s right he does deserve for me to leave him alone. He’s been through enough emotional distress because of me and I am not helping. I went back to my friends who did not say anything. The night slowly died after that and before I knew it, I was back in my room, crying myself to sleep because I broke my best friend's heart and I can’t fix it. 

___

It was the day before Thanksgiving break. I had to do night hosting one last time and then was heading home in the morning. Ever since the bar last week I decided to not talk to Tae at all. I haven’t left one text because that is what he wanted. However, maybe I should have known better. In the middle of night hosting my phone kept going off. I decided to check who the hell was calling me so many times. 

Taehyung’s name lit up my screen and I smiled, maybe he was ready to see me again. 

I quickly answered the phone, hoping for my sweet gentle Tae but that is not what I got.

T: “WHAT THE FUCK NAMJOON?” 

N: “Hello to you too.” 

T: “YOU ARE SUCH A SHITTY FRIEND!” 

N: “Are you only calling to insult me?” 

T: “YES, WHY HAVE YOU NOT TEXTED ME OR CALLED ME SINCE THE BAR!” 

N: “Taehyung, you told me to leave you alone.” 

T: “YES BUT STILL I EXPECTED SOMETHING!”

N: “So you wanted me not leave you alone?” 

T: “NO, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE BUT ALSO NOT LEAVE ME ALONE!” 

N: “Taehyung, are you hearing yourself? You are not making any sense, and can you please stop screaming?” 

T: “GOSH JOON I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME BUT I GUESS NOT. HOW CAN YOU GO SO LONG WITHOUT TALKING TO ME? THIS FRIENDSHIP IS CANCELED!” 

N: “Tae you make no sense sometimes. You told me to leave you alone because you needed more time, but now you’re mad that I am leaving you alone?” 

T: “Goodbye, I am over this conversation.” 

Taehyung hung up the phone and I rolled my eyes. I seriously should have known that by Tae talking to me, to begin with, was him coming around. As long as he’s silent that’s how you know things are bad. 

I decided to call him back, the phone rang a few times before he answered. 

T: “Hello, new phone, who dis?” 

N: “You literally just called me.” 

T: “The person you are trying to reach right now does not speak to fake friends.” 

N: “Taehyung, I am sorry. I will text you every day again.” 

T: “No, I do not want to hear from you at all.”

N: “I can’t ever win, I swear.” 

T: “You’re right, goodbye. Please delete my number.” 

He hung up again and I sighed, “Does that mean you guys are friends again?” I heard someone asked and I jumped. It was nearly midnight; I did not expect anyone to be down here. I turned around and Seokjin was standing in a tightly fitted t-shirt and basketball shorts. Damn, he looked good, even when he’s dressed for bed. 

“Taehyung is confusing, but yeah that is his way of coming around. We are not fully okay, or he would have been here already but hopefully things can be good again,” I said, and he nodded. “That’s good, you have been walking around like a sad lost puppy,” Seokjin said and I laughed. “Yeah, I am used to being with Tae all the time so the past few weeks have been weird, but Jiminie has helped.” 

“You could have hung out with me,” Seokjin said shrugging. I didn’t think he would have wanted to hang around me. 

“Oh, we can still hang out. How about finishing off my shift with me?” I asked, we haven’t been alone since that night. We still were awkward together, but I do enjoy his company, weirdly. 

Seokjin blinked, “Uh yeah sure, I only came down here to pick up some food I ordered.” 

“Ah, okay, you and Hobi are up late. It’s okay if you cannot stay,” I said.

“Nah, it is just me. Hobi and Yoongi got into some fight again so Hobi left early. I was just watching Netflix and got hungry.”

I nodded, “Oh, I am sorry, relationships are difficult,” I said.

“Wouldn’t really know, I’ve never been in one,” he said, hopping onto the counter. That is actually very surprising. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Seokjin asked, breaking me out of my trance. Shit I was staring again. 

“I - uh I thought you know that maybe I just assumed you’ve been with people, so it is kind of surprising.” 

Seokjin laughed, “I never really wanted to be in a relationship, I don’t think I would be a good boyfriend, I’m busy and stuff you know.” He played with the pen on the counter. 

“I'm sure you would be a good boyfriend; I mean you won’t know unless you try.” 

He shrugged his shoulders, “I didn’t think I needed a person.”

“No one needs anyone, you want them.” 

“I don’t think so. I think once you’ve met the right person, you will notice how much you needed that person to make your life complete.” He made eye contact with me and I felt my face burning up. 

“Then, I guess I haven’t met the right person,” I mumbled. 

“You need Taehyung,” he said, and I chuckled. “That is different, that’s like you are needing Hoseok, don’t try to talk me into being with Tae. That will never happen.” 

“Why not, have you ever thought about it?” He asked and I sighed, “Honestly, many times, every time we hooked up, I always tried to talk myself into it, but it just wasn’t there. I don’t feel anything.” 

“Ah, I see, is there someone you do feel something with?” He asked. “No, I don’t think so” I mumbled, breaking eye contact turning my attention to the movement at the front door “Your food is here,” I said pointing to the door. 

He quickly got off the counter and headed to the door. Fuck Namjoon, why do you let him work you up so much. ‘Is there someone you feel something with’, who the hell does he think he is asking me these stupid questions. 

“Would you like some? I won’t be able to finish it all. Actually, I am lying I could finish it all, but I might hate myself later, so please eat with me?” He said shyly holding the box of pizza. 

“Um, okay, yeah, hold on, come around back, we can sit on the couch, the desk is uncomfortable,” I said, opening the door for him. He placed the box on the table and we both took a seat on the couch.

We ate in silence for a while, awkward silence. “So, what are doing over break?” I asked. Honestly, I would have asked him a better question, but I couldn’t think of anything else. I have been noticing that being around Seokjin turns my brain to mush. 

“Just being with the family, I usually see Hobi but since we are not on great terms, I am not too sure if he will stop by.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Sort of stupid, he is mad at me that I won’t do anything about liking this guy, which I am not too sure if I do. He is sort of pushing it on me.” 

“Ah, what’s the guy like?” 

Seokjin laughed, “He’s tall.” He grinned and I rolled my eyes, “Wow, amazing, sounds like a great guy,” I teased him, and he pouted. He looked so cute pouting. 

“What about you?” he asked I watched his lips move. “RM,” he said, and I looked up. “What? Oh, do I like anyone?” He nodded, taking a bite of his pizza. I sighed and shifted in my seat, “Maybe.” 

He scoffed, “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m confused, what do you want me to do? If you haven’t noticed, I sort of don’t have the time to even think twice about if I like this guy.” 

“You can’t use the busy excuse, that’s my excuse,” he teased. “Also, if you’re worried about how Taehyung will feel, I think he will be okay. From everything I know about the situation, he still is your best friend and he understands that you don’t feel the same, it’s not your fault that you don’t.” 

“I feel shitty. I kept hooking up with him knowing he likes me, and I didn’t like him.” 

“Yeah that was really shitty,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. 

“Very supportive,” I sarcastically said, and he laughed. “You guys will be fine, just keep your tongue out his mouth and your dick in your pants around him.” 

“Great advice,” I mumbled. We both laughed. We spent the rest of the late-night hours together. Somehow, we finished the pizza and ended up talking about random stuff, at some point we fell asleep. I didn’t know what time it was when I heard someone calling my name, waking me up. I jumped up remembering where I was. “Shit,” I said. Seokjin was still asleep, he was laying on me, his head rested on my chest. 

“Good you’re awake, what the hell Namjoon?” Jimin asked, looking upset but also had a smirk on his face. 

I looked at Yoongi and Jimin staring at me from the other side of the desk. “What time is it?” I asked. 

“Almost 5 am, I came to check on you because your shift ended 45 minutes ago,” Jimin said, “I saw this and called Hobi who told me to call Yoongi for help,” he added. 

I used my free hand to wipe the sleepy feelings out of my eyes. That’s when I realized that my other hand was wrapped around Seokjin, my fingers in his hair. “I’ll take him upstairs, he can be a heavy sleeper sometimes,” Yoongi said.

“Yeah, Joon, close the front desk and come up, you have a lot of explaining to do,” Jimin smiled and I rolled my eyes. There is nothing to explain. 

In the process of trying to sit up, Seokjin ended rolling off of me and landed on the floor. 

“What the hell, five more minutes, Hoseok,” he groaned. 

“Seokjin, get off the floor,” I hissed. His eyes shot open and he sat up. “What the hell, oh, OH, Yoongi, hi!” he rambled once he realized what was happening. 

“Hi, let’s go to bed,” Yoongi said. 

“You guys don’t have to treat us like babies you know,” Seokjin said standing up and getting his shoes back on. 

I nodded in agreement as I stood up too. “If we didn’t come here, you would have gotten in trouble for basically sleeping on the job, but now that you both are awake, we will leave,” Jimin said heading back upstairs with Yoongi following. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Seokjin said, cleaning up and grabbing his things. “It’s fine, we both fell asleep,” I said, getting things ready to head upstairs. 

“Okay, well I’ll see you, have a good break,” He said opening the door to leave. 

“Yeah, you too” I mumbled, watching him leave. 

Asshole. We literally live across from each other, he could have waited. 

Jimin POV:

I still have so much packing I have to do before I leave tomorrow for Thanksgiving break and it is getting kind of late. To be honest, I haven’t even started it and my mom is going here at ten in the morning to pick me up. She will beat my ass if I am not ready when she gets here. She wants to have breakfast with me just the two of us so that we can catch up. When we get home, she will be busy with family and cooking. This year our family from the west coast is visiting us for Thanksgiving. They are super nice, and we get along pretty well. They are just the people that have to be doing something every second whether it is out shopping or staying up talking at two in the morning. By the time they leave you just want to sleep for a week.

Being the good son I am, I decided to have breakfast with her at a little cafe that is in town. It is super cute there and I have been thinking about trying to get a job there. It doesn’t ever get super packed and the people that work there are always so friendly. It is pretty close to the school as well so I could walk there on nice days and have the bus dropped me off on the bad days. The only thing is if my mom would be okay with me having a job.

She wouldn’t want me to do it because she would be afraid that it will affect my grades and dancing. Those are the only thing she really cares about. If I started this job and my grades start dropping or was not practicing my dances like I am supposed to, she would have my head. I could see her move into my room and follow me around. She would make her gross healthy meals and force feed them to me. I am going to have to get something healthy tomorrow at breakfast. I could have really gone for a waffle. Oh well, at least she lets me eat whatever at thanksgiving and with everyone there, I won’t have to do an extra-long workout to get rid of the extra calories. 

Right now, I am alone in my room. Namjoon just left to go do his last night shift before he leaves tomorrow as well. I am just laying on my bed trying to get the motivation to pack when there is a knock on my door. I roll out of bed to see who it is. When I open the door, I was met with Jungkook. I wasn’t expecting anyone but Jungkook was the last person I would think be knocking on my door right now.

The moment I saw him, my heart immediately sped up. He was wearing some Adidas soccer pants with an oversized white t-shirt. He had his cute little smile on his face and my heart melted. “Uh, hi Jungkook! W-what are you doing here?” Why the hell did I sound flustered? Be chill Jimin. You are older than him, you are supposed to be the confident one.

“I was bored, and Tae is being his mopey self in his room. So, I came to see if you wanted to hang out. It’s fine if you are busy or don’t want to.” His face fell a little at the possibility that I wouldn’t want to hang out with him.

“Yeah, we can hang out. I, um, still have to pack for tomorrow though.” Shit, now I really do have to pack. I could have honestly said screw it and done it quickly in the morning. Granted that I would have forgotten a lot of it, but I rather not move.

“Can I just sit on your bed and chill then?” He looked hopeful and seemed like he wanted to spend some time together. I am not going to complain that my crush wants to hang out with me. I just need to remember to be chill and confident. What should we do when I am done the packing? I don’t have a fucking clue.

“Sure, make yourself comfortable.” I let him in, and he heads straight to my bed. He goes to jump on it, and he ends up failing horribly. I really don’t know how he did it. I think one of his hands slipped and the next thing we know, he is laying on the ground looking up at the ceiling. I was still trying to process what had just happened when he says, “Maybe I should stay down here for the rest of my life.” His face was red from embarrassment and when I start laughing it just got redder. 

I walked over and held my hand out to him to help him out. “Are you okay?” I ask still giggling. He reaches up to take it and I helped pull him up. “Yeah, I am fine.” He couldn’t look at me in the face and it just made him even cuter than before. I still had a hold of his hand and with the other was rubbing his shoulder to soothe it from any pain it might have felt.

“Do you want me to pretend that I didn’t see that?” like I would ever forget that. That was literal gold.

“Yeah, that would be great,” he laughed at our little agreement. His laugh made me smile even wider. I let go of him and go to start packing. He attempted to get on my bed and with his luck, he succeeded. 

“Here is my speaker, play whatever song you want.” I hand him the speaker then grabbed the duffle bag that I will be taking home. It should fit everything that I need for the short break. He started playing Khalid, which somehow fits my mood perfectly. 

We make small talk about classes and how the week has gone. I am moving around the room to put things in my duffle bag. So far, I got my clothes figured out and I am making a checklist of things that I will need in the morning that I will also have to pack. There is also some schoolwork that I need to take home that is due when I get back. 

“Some of these teachers don’t know what a break actually is. Breaks are for everyone, not just them,” I complain to Jungkook as I shoved my notebooks and few textbooks into my backpack. 

He nodded his head enthusiastically. “Oh, I know. I have a paper due next week, as well as having this book finished for another class. I also have a test in European History. I just want to sleep and relax.”

“I also have like two tests when we get back. My brain is fried, and we also have finals coming up in like three weeks. It needs to rest before it completely dies at final time.”

“Finals time is the absolute worst. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea for people to cram a semester's worth of knowledge for five classes. That has some serious health concerns that come with it. The FDA should not approve of it.” I laughed at his joke, but he has a very good point if you actually look at it.

“Since I’m a dance minor, I usually have a dance that I need to do in front of a class or an audience. They are just as stressful as the test if not more so. I don’t sleep or eat at all for two weeks straight.”

“See! Finals are a health hazard to humans and should not be done.” I zip up my pretty much-packed duffle bag and set it down on the floor next to my desk. Thank god that is done. It didn’t really take that long, but it still was not fun to do. I really hate being an adult. “Are you done the packing?” Jungkook asks. Shit, what are we going to do? I should have figured that out when I was packing. Why am I an idiot? Okay, deep breathe, be chill, be confident.

“Um, yeah. I think I got everything that I need. At least I hope so,” and there was an awkward silence of both of us not knowing where to go next. I decide to jump on my bed and sit next to him instead of standing there awkwardly. When I am all settled next to him, I go on my phone to pretend to check something. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? I immediately got an idea and decide to ask google what I should do.

I quickly type in what to do with your crush. I look through the different websites I was given and decide to go with the first one. The top of it said ‘10 different things to do with your crush’. I quickly started to read the article. 

‘Everyone has that one special person that they just can’t wait to get with, but most are stuck on how to get close with them. If you are experiencing this, don’t panic! Here are 10 suggestions that you can do with that cutie that is super fun! Doing these fun activities shows your crush that you are actually a great person to hang out with and before you know it, they will be texting you in no time to spend quality time with you!’

Wow, was this created just for me? Let's see what they have. Go for a walk? Nope, too lazy and tired. Cook together? Don’t have a kitchen. Read a book? What the fuck, are we 80? Decorate coffee mugs? Too lazy and don’t have any of the materials. Learn to dance? Ooo, good date idea. I will keep that for later. Play a board/card game? Maybe, not really feeling it. Movie night? Better. Online quizzes? Actually, that sounds really fun. Bingo! Let’s do that. Okay, how the fuck do I suggest this? Bitch, why does this website not tell me how to get them to agree with the activity. You know what? Fuck it, I am just going to wing it.

“Hey, you know those online Buzzfeed quizzes that they have?” I ask Jungkook, who was going through Instagram.

“Yeah, I used to do those in high school when I got bored.”

“Me too! Do you want to do some now?”

“Yeah, sure!” He genuinely looked excited to do it. I am such a genius sometimes. I get off the bed to go grab my laptop from my desk. When I climb back onto my bed and sit so that our legs are pressed together and set the laptop on my lap so he would have to lean closer to me when he is looking at the screen. 

I quickly turn on my computer and put in my password. When he sees my wallpaper, he immediately asked me, “Who’s that?” Maybe he thought he had some competition. My wallpaper is a picture of me and my best friend from home. We took it last summer when we were taking a break from practice. We both had matching hats on, and he was laying on top of me from tiredness and wanting to see what I was doing on my phone. I happened to be on snap chat and took a picture of us for the memories. If no one knew us, it would definitely look like we were in a relationship together, with our faces mashed together to get us both to fit in and the fact he was laying on top of me.

Should I mess with him and tell him he is my boyfriend? Hmmm… it would be hilarious to see how his face would look, but I am trying to get with him. That is probably not the best thing to do. I will do it to someone else.

“That’s Yugyeom. He is my best friend from home,” I end up telling him while we wait for my computer to warm up. He immediately relaxes when the information hits his ears. I almost laughed out loud, but I hold it in. “We grew up dancing together and just became really close. He is super good, and his goal is to become a choreographer. I have been trying to get him up here to show him around and hang out, but he is super busy. He is in the really big dance group and he goes around to different competitions trying to get his name out there and build up his wins.”

“Oh wow, that is crazy. He must be super good.”

“He really is. I will bring you to one of his competitions if you want one day. There should be one close to around here at some point. If he ever has time to come here, I will definitely introduce you guys.” At this time, I go to google and search for quizzes. The first quiz we do is what type of dog are we. Jungkook ends up getting a husky and I am a chihuahua. I am offended and Jungkook laughs. We go to the next one and do another and another one. We end up doing quizzes for like two hours having a great time, but we got bored after doing what pizza are you.

“I am not tired yet. What should we do now?” I ask Jungkook. He shrugs his shoulders, not knowing what to say. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure, what is your favorite movie?”

“I am not telling you,” I say closing out of google.

“What? Why?” He looks sad that I won’t tell him.

“Because you will make fun of me.”

“No, I won’t. I promise.”

“Fine. If you laugh though, you will get a smack.” He just nodded and sat there waiting for me to give him the information. “Okay, fine. It’s Dirty Dancing,” I say, not being able to look at him. I take a quick glance at him and his eyebrows are raised.

“Jimin, I did not know you were so kinky that your favorite movie was porn. Like no shame, but most people hide that part of themselves from people they are not that close with at least.” It was my turn to have my mouth dropped open.

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It’s NOT porn!! It’s a classic movie! How have you never heard of it?? Second, what do you mean ‘so kinky’?”

“Nope never heard of it. Second, do you remember what you wore at Halloween?” I immediately blushed. “Yeah, there is no wearing that and not having a few kinks. I am pretty sure anyone who wears that, comes out with a few more kinks that they did not have before.” I start hitting him because I am embarrassed, offended and want him to stop talking. He just laughs and leans away from my assault.

“I can’t believe you don’t know Dirty Dancing. I am making you watch it right now.” I have it on my laptop because like I said, it is my favorite movie and I don’t care how gay that makes me. I am already gay and there is a hot guy who can dance so leave me alone. “Go to the bathroom, I will go get us drinks and snacks from the vending machine.”

When both of us are back, we change our position to laying down and having the laptop rest on me once again with the lights off. The snacks are between is next to our hips where it is easy to reach but not in our way. At first, I can tell he was not into it and was just watching it be polite, but then once Baby meets Johnny, he gets sucked in hard. Yeah bitch, make fun of me now.

When it ends; his mind is completely blown. “Damn, that is better than porn. That quote… umm…’ Nobody puts Baby in the corner’ is from this movie?”

“Yep, I told you it was good. I always admired Johnny. He is such a good dancer and he is hot, like damn. I always wanted to be like him.”

Jungkook looks over at me. “What are you talking about? You are hot.” My breath is taken away and my eyes are wide. I did not expect him to come right out and say that I was hot. I am frozen in space, staring at him, trying to get over how shocked I am. Then all of a sudden, he leans and kisses me. This puts me in a whole new shock, but I get over myself and start kissing him back. 

His lips are soft, and he has a confidence about him were you feel like you don’t have to worry about anything and can just enjoy him. He has definitely had his fair share of make out sessions because he definitely knows what he is doing. Most would think he would be new to this kind of thing because he looks and acts so innocent sometimes. 

He gently closes my laptop and moves it out of the way. He then rolls over, crushing our forgotten snacks. I lay on my back, Jungkook hovering over me. He had one leg on either side of me and used his arms to prop himself up. This position is definitely more comfortable than the previous one. Our mouths were inches apart. I wondered why he was taking so long to press his lips against mine and instead of waiting I lifted my head up and slammed our mouths together. It lasted for a while. When we started to run out of air I pulled away and quietly mumbled, “shit,” Jungkook chuckled before leaving a trail of kisses down my neck finding my sensitive spots and doing little nips here and there. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long, Jiminie,” He said in between kisses. I breathed out a chuckle, “yeah?” I asked, “mhm,” he replied moving back up to my lips, we let ourselves get lost in each other, the quiet panting and low moans that would randomly roll off our tongues drove me crazy. This is not what I expected would happen when he came over. 

We continued making out for quite some time before we finally broke apart from each other with a big smile on our faces. Yeah, this cannot get any more perfect. “That was good, you’re good,” Jungkook said biting his lip. “You- you too,” I smiled, “We should do that again sometime, I mean only if you want to- if not it is-,” He crashes his lips back onto mine to stop my rambling, thank god, I didn’t want to ruin the moment. He pulled away again after a few more minutes, “I should go, it’s late but yes we should do this again,” he whispers, clearly not wanting to leave. “Okay, ” I whisper back. He gives me one last peck on the lips and gets up to leave.  
“Have a good break Jiminie!” He smiled before opening the door and leaving. 

After gathering myself I realized that Namjoon was not back yet, I am glad he didn’t walk in on us but also, where the fuck is, he? It was almost five in the morning. I decided to go look for him, I can’t wait to tell him about this, or maybe I shouldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JIKOOK... yes.


	7. My love is a curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope you are still enjoying our story! Thank you for sticking around!
> 
> Song Recommendation: better off By: Ariana Grande 
> 
> Click [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/chandrapaulkelly/playlist/191f39OuKUPodGXv9yOins?si=qg6Dz7zuTMmUIHZ5PZyHSQ) for playlist.

*November*  
Namjoon’s POV: 

My break was spent on the couch, hiding under a blanket. Being home was amazing and being around family was very much needed. As much as I loved being at school with my friends and residents, nothing beats cuddling with my mom on the couch while she yells at the tv screen. On the day of thanksgiving, I stayed a safe distance away from the kitchen. One because my mom and my aunts would pester me about my love life, but mostly because I was banned from being anywhere near the food. I am not a good cook and I never will be. 

I sat scrolling through my phone waiting for my cousins to get ready for our walk. I decided that going outside would be better than sitting around, however, this year Thanksgiving is a really cold day. While waiting for everyone to get ready I decided to check what was new on social media, I noticed a picture posted by Taehyung, that I was tagged in but there was a big X through my face. It was a group picture, all of us from the Halloween party. I don’t even remember taking this picture. I looked at his caption and rolled my eyes. It read: 

"I'm thankful for almost all of my friends, what are you thankful for?” 

I chuckled to myself, he is ridiculous. I read the rest of the comments everyone else made, they weren’t any better. Everyone was upset with one another and it was starting to make me extremely sad. 

Jimin: ‘I am thankful for my friends (especially Koo) and family!’

Jungkook: ‘I am thankful for my new best friends (especially Chim Chim), that make my days full of smiles and laughs!’

Hobi: ‘I am thankful for myself.’

Seokjin: ‘I am thankful for everyone except Hobi.’

Yoongi: ‘I am thankful for pumpkin pie, only pumpkin pie.’

Namjoon: ‘I am thankful for graduating early so I can be around mature people at last.’

I quickly added a comment, which received 5 likes and a reply of a middle finger emoji from Taehyung, before I headed out the door with my family.

Being outside and going for walks was one of my favorite things to do. It allowed me to clear my head and is therapeutic. I watched as my cousins ran around, playing with each other and laughing. I sometimes joined them in their games, but I mostly just thought about my life. I sent out all my applications for grad school and all I have to do is hear back from them. I have decided that next semester I won’t be working at the library to give me more time for school and give me less stress. Things are going well as an RA. I love that my residents are chill, they don’t speak to me as much. It is mostly Hoseok and Seokjin but just that itself is really surprising. I didn’t think that couch boy and I would get along. I didn’t think I could possibly have a soft spot for him. 

The only really messed up thing right now is Taehyung, but he seems to be coming around. He is interacting with me so that has to mean something positive. Being on good terms with the people in my life is important but with myself. I needed to work on being on good terms with myself. I can fully accept the fact that I am bisexual. That is the only thing that I am sure of. I still like girls and it took me a while to realize that. I thought that I had to force myself to pick but that is not true. I also do not have to even label myself. But if I had to, I, Kim Namjoon, am a proud bisexual man with a lowkey crush on couch boy. No one can know this information. The couch boy part, I am sure everyone knows that I swing both ways, I am sure everyone knew before I did. 

A few hours later after our walk and after dinner, I was in my room getting ready for bed when my mom walked in. 

“Joon” My mom said, sitting on my bed, “I can’t help but notice how sad you are,” she started. “Now, I know you know that you can tell me anything, but I am reminding you again sweetie, you can tell me anything. I am your mother and I will support you all the way.” 

I blinked, what is this even about? “Mom, I am not sad, and I promise you if something was terribly wrong, I would let you know. Right now it is just stressful school-related things. You know this, do not act like you don’t.” 

My mom patted the bed gesturing me to sit with her. “Namjoon, are you 100% sure everything is okay?” 

“I am 1000% sure that everything is okay,” I said hugging her and she rested her head on my shoulder. 

“Okay, so why haven’t you mentioned Taehyung even once? You always talk about him. Is it trouble in paradise?” 

I dropped my arms that were wrapped around my mom, “Mom, what do you mean?” 

“Well, I just assumed that maybe you two were together and you guys are having a fight.” 

“Mom, we are not dating. I don’t even like gu-” 

“Oh, cut the crap sweetheart. I know, we all know,” she said, folding her arms and I laughed dryly. “You knew?” I asked. 

“Honey, I knew before you even did.”

“I think everyone knew before I did.” 

“I support every decision you make Joon, love is love. I just want you to be happy and right now you do not seem happy so can you please tell your mother what is going on. Do I need to call and talk to Taehyung myself?” 

I laughed and laughed and somewhere in between all my laughing I began sobbing. Let me tell you, I do not cry. So, my mom holding me while I sobbed was probably one of the scariest moments for her. “I-I-I, messed up so bad” I hiccupped in between sobs. “I ne-never wanted to hurt h-him” “I d-don’t feel the sa-ame way. I am a horrible friend,” I cried. 

My mom hugged me and let me cry it out. Once I was done, I told her everything from my old girlfriend and Mark to hooking up with Taehyung and even Seokjin. She reassured me that everything will be fine and that we all make mistakes, we just have to learn from them. Honestly, the best thing from this whole conversation was knowing that I was supported by my family. It was the one thing really holding me back from being open about it. It felt so good knowing this information and I could not wait to get back to school and fix everything, maybe even figure out my true feelings for Seokjin. I mean he has to feel something too, no one just falls asleep with someone like that if you are not slightly interested, no one offers to cook for just anyone. At least I hope not. I hope that he feels slightly the same way I do. 

____

Jin’s POV: 

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I mean definitely after Christmas and my birthday. It is up there, in the top 5. Thanksgiving means food, food means cooking, and cooking always gets me in a good mood. Cooking with my mom is even better. My parents are always busy, especially when I was growing up and I was always stuck being raised by random nannies. I always cherished the moments I shared with my family. Now that I am older, I am used to being alone, but I still enjoy the days where I can just spend time with them. This Thanksgiving was different though. Yeah, I was spending time with my family and everything seemed fine but Hoseok wasn’t here. His family showed up but not him. I guess he isn’t feeling well which is total bullshit. He probably thinks I am going to nag him about Yoongi, which may be true, but he is my best friend and he should know that I will always support him, even the stupid things he does. I tried calling him a bunch of times. I even left him a few nasty voicemails but that did not work. The only time I actually heard from him was when he commented on Taehyung’s picture. 

Besides Hobi, I couldn’t get Namjoon off my mind. The fact that we fell asleep together really surprises me, but also scares me. I don’t know if I want to get close to him. I am good with Hobi and Yoongi being my only real friends. I also don’t know if I want to move past the friendship stage with Namjoon, I don’t know what exactly I want. I get jealous when I see Hobi and Yoongi together but the thought of me being with someone makes me want to puke. However, if I had to be with someone, Namjoon is the one I would want to be with. But that is crazy. Seokjin, you are fucking crazy. Why would Namjoon even like me? As he said, he has too much going on for him to be thinking of a being with someone. He needs to figure things out with Taehyung, and he is graduating. I mean I am too but that is exactly my point, we have our lives planned out and I don’t think adding each other to our plans will work out. 

“Seokjin!” I heard my mom shout, snapping me back to reality. I noticed the pot I was filling up with water was overflowing. I quickly shut off the water and cleaned up my mess. “What is going on in that head of yours, if you are really that upset that Hoseok isn’t here, just go and drag him here,” my mom said. 

“No, no, it’s fine. I was just thinking about finals coming up, sorry,” I mumbled. She shook her head at me. I know she did not believe me but what was I supposed to say? I have the biggest crush on my RA who lives across the hall and hates my guts? Oh, and let’s not forget, he hooks up with his best friend on the regular. Now, that just sounds messy and unwelcoming. Definitely something my mom would never approve of. 

“Well for once, I need you out of the kitchen because you are not helping,” she said pushing me out. “Go get Hoseok. His parents want him here as well. Make yourself useful. Just do not doze off like that behind the wheel, okay?” my mom shoved my jacket and keys into my hand before forcing me out the door. 

I sighed once I got into my car. I knew the route to Hoseok’s so well I could do this in my sleep. I concentrated on the road the best I could but all I kept thinking about was the way Namjoon rubbed my back while we both sleepily laid on the couch. That has to mean something. No one does that normally. We aren’t close enough friends. We are basically strangers and maybe we are skipping a few steps and are going straight into liking each other, but I don’t know. I am confused on his feelings. I am confused as to why he is still rude to me around our friends. I am confused about both times we hung out alone and what they meant but what I am not confused about is that deep down in me. I may have feelings for Namjoon. I might have liked since he walked into my suite in his ridiculous outfit. I may have thought his thighs looked amazing in those ugly ass pair of shorts, and even though his shirt made me want to vomit, he looked extremely cute. 

I pulled in Hobi’s driveway and let out a small groan before I headed to the door. He must have seen my car drive in because I didn’t even have to knock the door for him to open. Standing in front of me was a messy-haired, puffy-eyed, unwashed Hoseok. 

“I have something to tell you-” “I need to tell you something-”

We both spoke at the same time.

“You first,” we simultaneously said. 

“I think I am in love with Yoongi-” “I think I might like Namjoon-” We both once again said at the same time.

“Wait, what?” I asked. 

“Huh?” Hobi cocked his head to the side. 

“I have feelings for Namjoon,” I said again

“Oh, that is old news Jinnie. We been knew,” he said as I walked in all the way, “but something we didn’t know is, I love Yoongi.” 

“Bitch, he’s your boyfriend,” I scoffed.

“Seokjin, you know this means a lot to me! I, Jung Hoseok, have never ever loved someone and I cannot let him know. What if he doesn’t feel the same?” 

“Hobi, listen to me. Seriously, look at my mouth, read my lips. OPEN your EARS. Min Yoongi has been in love with you since he laid eyes on you in that disgusting bathroom at the bar three years ago!” I half-shouted. 

Hobi pouted, “But, I am scared. This is all too much. What if I screw it up? What if I love him today and not tomorrow?”

“That is not going to happen Hoseok. The amount of love you have for this man literally spews out of your eyes when you look at him. Every. Single. Day. For the past three years.”

“Three years? I only figured this shit out two weeks ago and ever since I have been a mess!” 

“Ah, so that is why you guys have been fighting? You’re ignoring him?” I asked. 

“Yeah, I’m scared Jin. Like I want to shit myself. I don’t know how people do this.” 

“Have feelings?” I asked. “Relatable,” I groaned, throwing myself down on the couch. “Namjoon and I slept together,” I pouted. 

“YOU GUYS WHAT?” Hoseok shouted, “Is this why Jimin called me when he needed help?” 

“No, what the hell? We literally slept, as in we went night night together, eyes closed, snoring, cuddling. The whole nine yards.” 

“Oh, OH, that is even BETTER, Seokjin! You are finally going to get that man you always wanted!” 

“I never wanted a man,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Oh please, you are in love with being in love. The complete opposite of me. I LOVE YOONGI!! I LOVE SOMEONE THAT IS NOT MY MOM!!!” he shouted again.

“Hoseok, okay, if you are not ready to tell him then don’t. However, do not keep ignoring him, He just wants his boyfriend, and avoiding him might be sending the wrong signals.” 

“You’re right, I am going to call him,” Hoseok said grabbing his phone. 

“Okay, but while you are the phone you need to get ready, our parents are waiting for us,” I said, but he ignored me as he spoke on the phone with his lover. 

“Yoongi, baby, I am so sorry, I-” I couldn't hear his conversation anymore as he walked out of the living room. He did not help my Namjoon situation at all. I sighed and turned on the tv. I need to distract myself. We can deal with me wanting to be hammered by Namjoon another time. Right now, let’s watch Joey get his head stuck in a turkey. Classic. 

________

The break came to an end and I was back at school. Hobi and I hung out every day like normal and we even drove back in the same car. Hobi’s problem with me had more to do with himself than our actual friendship. He took his confusion out on me instead of speaking to Yoongi about his feelings. Yes, he still has not told Yoongi he loves him, but I think Yoongi knows and understands Hobi well enough to not pressure him into anything he is not comfortable with. Even though they have been dating for this long and I personally think the L-word should have been said a long time ago. 

I was eating lunch with Yoongi at the dining hall when Hobi finally showed up with Jungkook. I was surprised to see them together, “Hi, I ran into Jungkook as I was walking in. He is meeting up with Namjoon and Jimin, so I invited them to sit with us if that is okay?” Hobi said, looking directly at me knowing that Yoongi honestly does not care and that my only problem would be Namjoon. Namjoon and I have not spoken since the night before break. I haven’t seen him around and it is not like we have each other’s number. I wouldn’t even text him anyway. 

“Of course, I think we should all hang out more often. I mean we already go out together why not do some other things as well?” Yoongi offered. 

“Yeah, we should!” Jungkook said. He slid into the booth and sat next to me while Hobi took his seat next to Yoongi. It did not take that much longer before Namjoon and Jimin showed up. “Hello!” Jimin chirped as he sat next to Jungkook. Jungkook blushed when Jimin put his arm around him. “How is everyone’s day going?” he asked. Everyone took their turns answering and telling us about their days, mostly complaining about their finals. Yoongi definitely had a lot to say, he was stuck doing some music video project with some kid who never does his work. I somehow was looped into being in the video. Honestly, this is definitely my forte, but at the same time as finals, it is really stressful. 

“Wait, Jin, aren’t you supposed to be teaching right now?” Jungkook asked me. “Oh, no I don’t normally teach on Mondays, I have normal classes. I only go in on some Mondays when I do not have much to do in my classes.” 

“Oh, so you’re more like the help?” Jimin asked. 

“More or less, I used to just help out but now I am in charge of all lessons when I am in the room. On Mondays the actual teacher usually reviews things that I have covered in the past week just to make sure everyone is on track and understands what I am teaching,” I explained to  
everyone. 

“That is so cool! I wish I had the patience to teach younger kids. Honestly, you seem more like a high school teacher rather than an elementary school teacher. Maybe you could teach English or something?” Jimin said and I smiled. “I mean I thought about it once, but I settled for this, and it is a little too late for me to change my mind anyways.” 

“Oh yeah, you’re graduating too! Aw man, you and Joon will be gone.” Jimin said. I looked at Namjoon, we exchanged small smiles. I saw Hobi rolled his eyes, “Namjoon, what are your plans after college?” Hobi asked. 

“Law school,” Namjoon mumbled. 

“Law school?” Jimin question, “you never said anything about that.” 

“I decided over break that I might actually want to go into law.” 

“What about journalism like you first said?” 

“I don't know,” He said shrugging and Jimin frowned. “Okay.” 

Namjoon looked sad whenever school is brought up. I wish he could figure out exactly what he wants to do. He seems to be indecisive and he might end up doing something he regrets later in life. Maybe he could teach, he seems like a people person- “ahh!” I yelped holding my ankle, “What the fuck?!” I hissed at Hobi and he grinned. He leaned forward, “You were staring,” he said, and I rolled my eyes. “I was not, shut up.” 

“You were” Jungkook whispered loudly causing everyone to laugh. I felt my face slowly burning up. “I hate you guys,” I muttered, taking a sip of my cola. Namjoon was shaking his head and smirking. What is that supposed to mean? I crossed my arms and pouted, I can’t stand my friends. Everyone continued with their small conversations, I was getting ready to leave because I had to get to one of my afternoon classes when I spotted Taehyung walking over. I honestly did not realize he was not here. “Wait, are they talking again?” I asked Jungkook and he shook his head. 

Taehyung waved excitedly at all of us, “Hello,” he said as he got closer. He sat across from Namjoon. Namjoon shifted in his chair. I think we all were waiting to see how this would play out. I haven't heard anything about the two of them since the break and on Instagram, it did not seem like they were okay. 

Taehyung folded his arms and stared at Namjoon seriously, “Mr. Kim,” he said, and we all waited to see what Namjoon would do. He simply copied Taehyung’s actions, “Mr. Kim,” Namjoon said with a straight face. They both were silent for a few moments before Tae starts laughing and Namjoon rolled his eyes before joining him. 

“What is happening?” Jimin asked, and we all shrugged, who knows. 

“Let’s go,” Taehyung said and Namjoon nodded, “we will see you guys later,” he said to us. The two of them walked away laughing and couldn’t stop shoving each other. 

“Is that how they make up?” Jungkook asked. “I guess so. I mean we all already knew their friendship was weird, to begin with, so I am not that surprised,” Yoongi said. 

“Who knows,” I said, sighing. I stood up and grabbed my stuff. “I should go,” I said, “It was seeing you guys. We should hang out some other time!” I added.

“Wait, Jin, it is really not placed to say anything, but he likes you, in his weird Namjoon weird. I truly believe he likes you,” Jimin said and I chuckled. “Cute, can’t say the feeling is mutual,” I spat before walking away. It’s just a stupid crush, I don’t need them making things such a big deal. On my way out I received a text from Hobi, I sighed and opened the text message. 

whoreseok: you are such a coward  
Jinnie: so are you 

I quickly replied and shoved my phone in my pocket before heading to the library. I’ll spend a few hours playing computer games then I’ll do some work. Computer games are a great way to keep your mind off of your cute RA. 

Namjoon’s POV: 

I and Tae end up going to Five Guys mostly because he was hungry from not having eaten anything and I was hungry too. It was also pretty close by, probably like five minutes from the college. When we walked in, there was hardly anyone there. Just a few people sitting around eating and enjoying their time. We walk up to the cashier, who was a young girl, with a bright smile and a cheery attitude. “Hi! Welcome to Five Guys! What can I get you, gentlemen, today?”

Tae goes first as always, “Hi, I will have a salad.” The cashier is slightly confused as so am I. I didn’t know they had salads here.

“Salad? I am sorry sir, but we don’t have salads here. Is there something else I could possibly get you instead?” She was not so bright and cheery.

“Yes, you can get me a salad. Thank you!” and he walks away to go sit down. We both watch him leave and look back at each other with the same expression. She is definitely confused and has clearly never dealt with a customer like Taehyung. Poor girl.

“You can get him a little hamburger with mayo, lettuce, tomato, and ketchup. Also, add fries and a milkshake. I will have a cheeseburger with onions, mushrooms, and ketchup along with a soda. Thanks.” She quickly puts in the order and I paid. 

I walked over to where Tae is sitting. He chose to sit by the window away from everyone, looking at the people living their lives on the other side. “Did you really have to do that to the poor girl?”

“What are you talking about? I just wanted to see if we were still close enough that you could order the right thing.” That hit a little harder than I wanted it to. Did he really think that I didn’t give a shit about him?

“Tae, I am so so sorry for how I hurt you. I only ever want to make you happy because you are my best friend. What I did to you, I should have never done. I was being selfish and an asshole and a plain fucking dick.”

“Your dick is plain.” I drop my head to the table. He is not going to make this easy, but when has he ever made anything easy? The answer is never. He makes you work for it and I will work my ass off to get our friendship back. He means more to me than anyone else here.

I raise my head back up and I looked at him right in the eyes. “I am truly sorry Tae. I want to make things right with us. Just please give me a chance. I don’t want to lose you.” He sighed and looked away from me. Clearly thinking on how to respond. 

“If I wasn’t going to give you a chance, then I wouldn’t be here right now.” Him saying that gave me so much more hope that things could be right between us again. I didn’t know how much I thought he was going to tell me to fuck off and never speak to me again. “You are my best friend too and I don’t want to lose you either. I hate that things are not the same between us at all.” 

“Okay, how should get back to normal then?”

“I think we should set some rules.”

“Okay, that is a good start. What rules should we have?”

“I have a list.” What does he mean he has a list? If he knew how he wanted to solve it, why did he not just tell me in the first place? We could have not wasted all this time. He pulls out a small notebook from his backpack along with a pair of glasses. He opens his notebook and puts on his glasses.

“Are those fake glasses?” 

“Shut up, I’m about to read the rules.” 

The first page of his notebook has a list of rules and a place to sign on the bottom. Is this a contract? Why is he like this?

At that time, our order number is called. I go get our food and set it down. I pull out my hamburger and take a bite. “Okay, what is the first rule?” I ask as I eat.

“Okay, rule one. You need to stop inviting me to your room all the time. We need to put some distance between each other, and you make it hard when you are always having me come over.” 

“What do you mean I invite you over? You invite yourself over. I never once told you to come to my room this year.” 

“I am not arguing with you Namjoon. Just follow the rules and we will be fine. Rule number two, I want my clothes back. You are always taking them, and I get it, I smell good, but that is technically stealing. And to be honest, it is kind of creepy. Are you sure you are not a psychopath or something? It’s fine if you are because I don’t shame you know, but I can get you help if you need it.”

He has to be kidding me right now. “What do you mean I steal your clothes?!?! And I am not a psychopath! You put your clothes in MY drawer when you moved in at the beginning of the semester. Stop accusing me of things that you do.”

“Why are you getting so worked up. If you were not doing these things, you wouldn’t be getting this offensive over it. If you ever need to see someone, just let me know and I will support you through your recovery.” I just give up and drink my soda and steal some fries. “Okay! Rule number three is that we cannot go out alone or hang out by ourselves. So that means if we want to go someplace there has to be at least one more person there. And if we are drunk someone has to be standing between us because you are a horny drunk and won’t keep your filthy hands off of me.” My jaw just dropped as I am shaken by what he just said to me. “No arguing Namjoon. Denial is an awful way to live.”

I lay my head on the table. I cannot stand him right now. He is going to kill me soon or I am going to kill him. I really don’t know how our friendship has worked out for so long. 

“That being said,” Tae continues on, “we have to keep all body parts covered. That includes your feet.”

“But you love my feet,” I say with my head still laying on the table.

“I do. I really do, but these are the sacrifices that have to be made.” He is so dramatic. “The last rule is that we have to get boyfriends by the end of the year.” That is when I sit up and stare at him. He has to be joking with this one. 

“Wha-”

“No arguing Namjoon,” Tae cuts me off.

“Let’s discuss the last rule though.”

“Fine,” he allows.

“I do not understand why that rule is needed. If you want a boyfriend that’s fine and you have all the right to go, get one. I have no desire to have a boyfriend.”

“You like Jin, Namjoon. Stop living in denial.”

“Wha-what are you talking about? I don’t like Jin. He is so annoying and ugly. And he is loud. Why would I like someone who is loud?”

“Namjoon, you are a bad liar. If you don't want to accept the fact you like Jin that is your problem and you are only hurting yourself and Jin because he clearly likes you too. I get that you have issues with your sexuality but the faster you accept that side of yourself, the faster you will be happy. I want you to be happy as well as our other friends want you happy as well.”

“Okay, fine.” It’s not like I am going to jail if I actually don’t get a boyfriend.

“Good. Now, I am starving,” and starts to eat his food. “Oh, and a rule I forgot to mention is that you still have to buy me food and presents still.” I don’t know if I would rather want the boyfriend's rule or this one. I am not going to even try. I just nod my head and take another sip of my soda. This is definitely the most interesting friendship in the history of the world.


	8. Planets align where we should be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is our holiday gift to you all! I hope you all are having a great time spending the holidays doing what ever you normally do! Enjoy this chapter and don't forget to let us know what you think! 
> 
> Song Recommendation: Talk to me by: Zayn

Namjoon’s POV: 

“So, I fixed the measurements and I think this should fit a lot better. I haven’t sewed it yet; the pins will hold it up and if we need to readjust then we can.” Taehyung explains to me as he holds up a shirt he designed across my chest. I did not really say yes to be his model but I sort of have no choice. The fashion show is not until next semester anyways, Taehyung decided to make this design to help him prepare for the show. 

I stood in the middle of Hobi’s suite, I felt exposed being there without my shirt on which made me uncomfortable. Hobi is using Seokjin as a model but Seokjin has been so busy with teaching that he has not been around as much. We honestly have not spoken for a while, ever since before break actually. I did not know what to make of us falling asleep together like that. It really did catch me by surprise. Hanging out until really late is one thing but falling asleep and waking up to me holding him is another thing. A thing that I was not ready to face, especially with him liking someone else. 

To be honest, him telling me that he has feelings some guy really hurt. I told him I might like someone, but he is that someone. Jimin told me that the tall guy that Seokjin likes is me but I doubt it. But then again why would he allow himself to fall asleep with me if he did not feel something? 

“Namjoon, how does it fit?” Hobi asked. “What, oh um it is a little better,” I mumbled. 

Tae scoffed, “Joon, you need to say more than just that. How am I supposed to know what to fix? Where is it tight or loose? What is the issue?” Taehyung looked stressed out as he tried inspecting the garment. 

“The arms are tight. I can’t move them much; it feels like it’s going to rip.” 

Tae hummed as he inspected it, “Okay, well the arms are supposed to be tightly fitted anyways, but if it is uncomfortable, I can make them a little bigger.” I nodded and handed him the shirt before pulling my sweater back on. 

“Hobi, your designs look amazing. Seokjin is going to look so good in them. Right Joonie?” Taehyung asked and I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, your designs are good,” I said and Yoongi chuckled. I know they were expecting me to comment on Seokjin, but I will not give them the satisfaction. 

“He knows Jin will look good. I see him drooling over Jin all the time and vice versa. It is actually sickening, you know,” Hobi teased. 

“What’s sickening is the two of you, always ready to pounce on each other.” 

“I am so sorry that my sex life is so much better than yours. Stop being a hater,” Yoongi said. 

“Seriously though, I think a lot of your problems stem from the fact that you might be sexually frustrated,” Hobi said. “Namjoon when was the last time you even hooked up with anyone?” Yoongi asked and I coughed awkwardly. “Well, the last time was with Taehyung,” I mumbled. 

“That’s been what, over a month ago? Seriously Joon,” Taehyung asked judgment in his voice. 

“What do you mean by seriously? The only person you’ve ever been with is me. Seriously Tae?” 

Taehyung sucked in some air and pouted, “Shit you’re right. Okay so here’s the plan-” 

“No plan, I am not sexually frustrated! Hobi, look what you started!” 

Hobi grinned, “I was just trying to help. You know, maybe you just need to you know self-relief.” 

“Oh, Namjoon doesn’t do that. He gets shy.” 

Yoongi’s laughter filled the room, “What do you mean shy?” 

“TAEHYUNG! I TOLD YOU THAT IN PRIVATE, I TRUSTED YOU!!” I shouted. I threw a notebook at him and he ducked right in time. “Jesus Joon, I have scissors in my hands, this is not the time to play around!” he squealed, and I huffed, throwing myself down in an empty chair. 

“Okay, but you really have to explain this now. Also, does anyone want juice? I really want some juice. Maybe Jin can pick up some juice on his way home?” Hobi said.

“No one wants juice babe.” 

“Wow speak for yourself; I would like some juice Hobi, but can it not be fruit punch? I’m not really feeling fruit punch,” Tae said, he is ridiculous. 

“Okay, how about apple juice?” 

“Perfect.” Taehyung smiled. “Okay, I will text him right now,” Hobi said, “Namjoon why don’t you explain yourself while we wait. I promise, I will not tell Jin about this unless you want me to. Which I am more than happy to do.” 

“Why would I want you to tell Seokjin? NO ONE TELL SEOKJIN!” I shouted. 

“Okay, calm down lover boy, we won’t say anything,” Yoongi said. He was busy scrolling on his phone, but I could see his evil smirk. 

“Okay, well I am not SHY, and nothing is wrong. I work perfectly fine!” I argued and Taehyung grinned, shaking his head at me. He definitely set me up to embarrass my ass and he will pay for this. “But I can’t uh masturbate when people are around or could be around, so having a roommate is not the ideal situation sometimes.” 

“The shower” Hobi suggested. 

“Nope, he’s afraid someone will walk in.” 

“That was never an issue until Taehyung walked in on me and wouldn’t let me live it down.” 

“You were making a weird face!” 

“You should not be talking. Have you ever seen your face?” I hissed at him. 

“Oh come on I bet it’s not worse than Hoseok’s,” Yoongi said and now it was my turn to laugh at Hobi as his face slowly turned bright red. “YOONGI, YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN!” 

“I’m sorry. This just seemed like the right moment to talk about it.” 

“You know what, Namjoon I don’t care about your shyness anymore. Let’s change the topic,” Hobi said. 

“Thank you,” I sighed in relief. I laid on the couch and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes when I felt someone shaking me. “Bro, we really need to talk about this. How bad is my face? Does it get worse the more I get turned on? What about when I come?” Tae questioned. 

“Taehyung, please leave me the fuck alone,” I groaned. “But really, I am concerned,” he whined. 

“It’s fine, you still look cute,” I said patting his back. “Okay, good,” he said going back to work. He is so weird. I quietly laughed at him. He always finds a way to amuse me with his stupidity. 

Another hour or so passed. Jungkook and Jimin ended up showing up before Seokjin even got here. I wasn’t really hoping to see him, I mean I could leave now and not really care. 

“So, are you guys like a thing?” Taehyung asked, gesturing between Jimin and Jungkook who was sitting on the floor really close to each other. “No. Why would you even think that?” Jimin asked. I rolled my eyes and Jimin stuck his tongue out on me. “Oh, don’t even Joon. We all know you like Seokjin. I am sure even he knows,” Jimin said, attacking me. 

“He doesn’t, he is just as clueless. He ranted for a good three hours over the break about Joon liking someone else, why did you tell him you liked someone?” Hobi asked. 

“Well, he told me he liked someone, and I know it’s not me,” I said, sounding a bit sad. 

“You both are hopeless. How many times do I have to say this? Seokjin LIKES YOU!” Hobi shouted at me and I threw a pillow at him. “Shut up, we don’t know that, and it doesn’t even matter. I don’t like him.” 

“Here we go again with this BULLSHIT!!” Jungkook said. He was now busy playing Mario kart with Yoongi and Jimin. They wouldn’t let me play because I almost broke the controller in Jungkook’s room, so he warned Hoseok. 

“I am so tired of having this conversation with Seokjin and also hearing from Taehyung that you’re complaining as well. Why can’t you guys just talk to each other?!” Hobi shook his head in disappointment. 

“It’s not that easy,” I mumbled.

“Joon, we get it you’re scared of getting hurt or you’re scared of hurting him, but you guys won’t get anywhere if someone doesn’t do something! We’re all tired of waiting around. Just let this happen,” Jimin said. 

“Then stop waiting around. You guys are literally waiting for nothing and setting yourself up for disappointment. Don’t blame me or him for this. We’re barely even friends.”

“You guys are so much alike it drives me crazy,” Hoseok said. 

“Stop trying to get us together! We’re not going to get together! We both have our own lives to deal with and it doesn’t include each other. I don’t want a boyfriend. He’s said he doesn’t want a boyfriend and fuck whatever feelings I may or may not have it doesn’t matter, okay?” I argued. 

“Guys, just leave him alone,” Yoongi said, “It doesn’t matter. We shouldn’t care what they do or don’t.” Finally, someone who understands. 

Just as Hoseok was going to say something, the door opened and in walked Seokjin. A very sad Seokjin, on the phone. 

“Jin, it’s from 6pm. where have you been?” Hoseok asked. He showed the phone to Hobi and all he did was a nod. Seokjin dropped his stuff on an empty chair and went to his room. After a few seconds of no sound coming from the room and we heard faint sobs. 

“Seokjin, can I come in?” Hoseok asked knocking his door. 

“Uh, n-no I’ll be out soon,” Seokjin answered, clearly not sounding okay. 

“Was he on the phone with his mom again?” Yoongi asked. Hoseok nodded and they both gave each other a look. 

“What’s wrong with his mom?” Jimin asked. 

“Oh, nothing is wrong. Seokjin and his parents have a really weird relationship. They weren’t really around when he was growing up. He spent most of his time with nannies or being raised by my family.” Hoseok explained. “They’re not bad people. They love Seokjin but they always put work first. I’m not sure what they did this time. The last time he was this upset it was because they missed his 16th birthday party and he cried the entire time in his room.” Hoseok continued explaining. “Seokjin always has his hopes up for them being there but they miss everything important in his life. I even tried talking to them once, but all they told me is that I don’t understand adult business and I should learn to stay out of theirs.” Hobi sighed, “Seokjin puts on a brave face. He doesn’t think it’s fair to be upset that his parents are always working and aren’t around when other people don’t even have parents. But sometimes it just gets to him and that happens,” Hoseok said gesturing to the door. 

“I’m sorry, that sucks,” Jimin said. “I wish there was something we could do” 

“Sadly, there isn’t. Just being there for him helps though. He’ll be okay. He’s used to it.” Hoseok shrugged his shoulders. After a few more minutes Seokjin steps out of his room his sweatpants and a T-shirt. His eyes looking puffy. 

“Sorry, I was talking to my mom,” he mumbled, “I saw the text for the juice, but they didn’t have any,” he said.

“Damn it, I really wanted some juice,” Taehyung groaned. I shook my head at his comment, that boy needs to learn when to shut up. 

“Is everything okay?” Jungkook asked. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Seokjin smiled faintly. “I’m going to go to the library or something, I have a lot of grading to do.” Seokjin grabbed his stuff left before anyone could stop him. 

—— 

Jin’s POV: 

I tried focusing on work but all I could think about was embarrassing myself in front of everyone. Hoseok has seen me through all of my bad moments but I didn’t want anyone else seeing me cry. Especially not Namjoon, he’s so put together when it comes to his emotions. He has this huge wall up that hardly ever breaks. I like that about him though, it shows that he’s been through a lot and letting his walls break for someone means they’re very special. I wish I was special enough to see a side of Namjoon that I know exists somewhere. Sometimes it shines through when he talks to me and laughs along at my stupid jokes. When he’s not trying to be this hard-cold person when he’s just letting loose and being himself. Those are the moments where I find myself falling for him. Falling only to get stepped on and thrown away because even though he sweet sometimes, even though he laughs with me, stays up late with me, falls asleep on couches with me, he still has his walls up and doesn’t seem to want to let them down for me. 

Instead of thinking about Namjoon, I think about my parents and that’s honestly worse. I love them and it was so nice to see them over Thanksgiving. It’s always so nice to see them, but only because I rarely see them. In the last few years I didn’t care. I was in college away from home they could do whatever they wanted, and I wouldn’t mind. However, growing up I spent countless days waiting for them to come home, hoping for them to be with me on holidays and birthdays. It was always the same, work comes first. If they don’t work, they can’t support me, but I didn’t need their money, I didn’t need the newest toy and trendiest outfits. I needed my parents and that’s one thing they will never understand. 

I let out a deep sigh and continued grading the stacks of work my kids did for the last two weeks. I have been behind on everything because over break I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and the night before I spent it with Namjoon. Speaking of Namjoon, I jumped a little when I heard his voice because he’s the last person I’d expect to come and look for me. 

“It’s cold outside and your jacket didn’t seem warm enough. I brought you another sweater and a blanket,” he said. There wasn’t even a hello, he just dropped the sweater and blanket on the table. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” I said, “But, thank you. Did you leave everyone back at the suite?” 

“Well, everyone sort of got concerned once you left so they left as well. Hoseok said to leave you alone but for some reason I couldn’t.” He scratched his head and didn’t make eye contact when he said the last part. 

“It’s because you like me,” I chuckled. 

His eyes widened, “I don’t like you!” 

“So, we’re not friends? I shared my pizza with you, man.” I pretended to be hurt, and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah I guess we are friends then.” 

“You guess? Come on either we’re friends or you’re in love with me because no one who doesn’t care about someone would walk all the way here in this freezing weather to bring them a sweater.” 

“Listen, do you want the sweater or not, I can happily take it back,” he said dryly.

“I’m joking! Thank you, seriously, I mean it. It was sweet and I didn’t take you for the sweet type.” 

“You hardly know me how could form an opinion on me.” 

I squinted my eyes and tilted my head, examining this smart ass. “Hm, you’re right. Let’s test it, buy me some hot chocolate and then you can sit with me,” I grinned. 

“What if I don’t want to sit with you?” he tried hiding a smile, but I saw it poking through his serious demeanor. 

“Then buy me hot chocolate and don’t sit with me. Either way is fine, I just want my hot chocolate, babe,” I smiled.

He scoffed, “Get it yourself, babe,” he said before walking away. I let out a small laugh, I should have known, he’s too sweet to be true. 

I took the sweater he brought me and pulled it on. It smelt like him and it made my stomach churn, in a good way, of course. I spent the next few hours grading papers, listening to music, and definitely not having butterflies in my stomach while thinking about Namjoon being concerned about me. 

Around 11:15pm I decided that it was way too late for me to be out here I needed to head back to the room. I have to teach in the morning and my students don’t deserve a grumpy Mr. Kim. I shoved all my things in my bag and pulled on my jacket before turning to head out. 

“Seokjin!” I heard someone call out and I looked up. Namjoon was standing there with two cups in his hand, he looked awkward but cute. “Joon, don’t you think it’s too late for hot chocolate?” I asked, a smile slowly forming on my face as I walked up to him. 

“This was your idea,” he said handing me a cup. “I would have brought it earlier but I had my shift at the library then I drove into town to buy you this since everywhere on campus is closed,” he explained and my small smile turned into a grin, the butterflies in my stomach soaring again. “You didn’t have to go into town, it was sort of a joke.”

“You know something, you aren’t a very grateful person. You should learn to say thank you and be appreciative of a person's good doings for you,” Namjoon said, poking fun of me and I laughed. “Thank you, kind sir, sweet baby boy,” I pinched his cheeks and his face lit up red. 

“Don’t do that ever again?” he said made a fuss, knocking my hand out of the way. 

“Can’t help it, your cheeks are pinchable.” 

“And your face is punchable, but you don’t see me going around swinging at you,” he argued back.

I gasped, “That’s very rude, especially from a person who claims to be in love with me.” 

“Very bold of you to assume my feelings for you, but I’m not in love with you. Sorry to crush your dreams.” 

“Okay, then you’re a really good friend for the sweater and the hot chocolate. Thanks.” I sincerely said and he smiled, “What are friends for?” 

We both took a sip of our hot chocolate and winced, “Ahh still hot,” Namjoon said his face scrunched up mirroring mine. 

We both laughed, maybe at ourselves or at each other but it didn’t matter. Laughing with Namjoon is one of my favorite things to do. 

“Come on, it’s late. We have to get to bed!” I said pulling Namjoon behind me. “Okay, old man, let’s go.” We walked side by side, the cold air hitting us in the face as we pushed the door open. 

“Shit, it’s so cold!” I trembled. “At least our drinks can cool down,” Namjoon said and I perked up, “You’re right!” I held my cup in the air and waited. “You’re weird” Joon laughed. “You are too, but weird is the new cool.” 

“Calling yourself cool doesn’t make you cool.” 

“I’m the coolest, bro.” 

“Don’t call me bro,” Namjoon said. 

“Why not bro, aren’t we now bros, bro?” I punched him in the arm, and he rolled his eyes. “I may be regretting our friendship as we speak.” 

I scoffed, “Yeah, whatever.” 

“But seriously RM, thanks for tonight. It really cheered me up and being around you took my mind off of things.” 

“It’s not really my place to ask, but Hobi told us some of it and um, is it about your parents not being home again or something?” 

I took a sip of my drink, it cooled down finally. “Well, I don’t really like to talk about it, only because it’s not too serious at the end of the day. I’m lucky to even have parents but-.” 

“But nothing. Everyone has issues and we should not compare to others. If you want to be sad and hurt because of your parents not being around due to them working, then you can be. Your feelings matter just the same as someone who may be lost their parents or doesn’t know their parents. It doesn’t matter the situation.” 

“Yeah, thanks. I tried telling myself that growing up. It only ever got through my thick skull a few times. I shouldn’t be upset. I’m 22 and I shouldn’t be crying because my parents are leaving for another few months and will miss the holidays and my college graduation” 

“You can be upset though, and you can cry. Heck, I’d cry about it too.” And that’s what I did, I started sobbing in front of Namjoon. I didn’t want to, but he made me feel comfortable enough to share my emotions and these are my emotions right now. “Fuck, all I wanted was them to come, nothing big, just show up and support me. They didn’t come to my high school graduation and promised they’ll be here for this one but of course not. I’m always second or third or whatever number after everything at work.”

I walked over to a bench and sat down, Namjoon following me. He took the blanket he gave me from my hand and opened it, wrapping me with it. “Keep talking, I’m listening,” he mumbled. 

“My father hates my career choice. He wanted me to take over the business. We rarely speak due to this disagreement and on occasion when we do see each other we just pretend everything is fine because I spend most of my life not seeing him anyways. My mom is always on his side only because she has to be, and I’m left alone. I’m rambling, sorry. I’m just sad and want my mom not whatever expensive gift they're going to send to me instead.” 

I looked up at Namjoon who’s staring at me with sad eyes and open arms. I sighed leaning into him. “It sucks and I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t want you feeling this way,” he whispered. 

“It’s okay, thanks for listening. I was going to cry to Hobi and still might do that but it was nice telling someone other than him.” 

Namjoon slid his arms around me and I hugged back. This was all friendly, I know, but I wish it was more. I wish I could lift my head off his chest and kiss him. However, we can’t always get what we wish for and most of the time I don’t. 

“It’s cold, we should really get going,” I mumbled. I pulled away, and Joon nodded. “Yeah, let’s go, for real this time.” We walked in silence. I drank my way too cold hot chocolate and enjoyed the moment.

“So, the guy you like, besides him being tall, what else is there about him?” Namjoon asked and I chuckled. I wanted to scream that it’s him but I’m not ready to face rejection. 

“He has dimples” I smiled and Joon nodded, “You’re not really good at this Seokjin, being tall and having dimples are two very vague details.” 

“Okay okay, well he’s also a very clueless person,” I laughed. “Oh, just like you! You guys will make a perfect match,” Namjoon teased. 

“I am not clueless! Clueless of what exactly?” 

Joon just shook his head and smiled. “Everything, but this is also information from Hobi.” 

“Never listen to Hobi. That’s your first mistake.” 

We got to our building and headed inside. Namjoon made small talk with the RA in charge and introduced me to her. I have seen her around, but we never really spoke. After a few minutes, we headed upstairs. 

“Okay, goodnight. I’m sorry about your parents and good luck with the guy you like.” Namjoon awkwardly laugh. 

“Thanks for everything. Oh I’ll give you your sweater back after I wash it.”

“Keep it.”

“What, why?” 

Namjoon shrugged, “It looks better on you than it does on me.”

I bit back a smile, “Whatever, goodnight RA RM,” I said before heading into my suite. I needed to get some sleep, but the butterflies were soaring again keeping me up as I laid in my bed wearing Joon’s sweater. 

———

“So, you told him you like a guy who’s tall and has dimples?” Taehyung asked me. We were all having lunch together, everyone except Namjoon. 

“Who told you this information? HOSEOK!” I shouted and he slid down in his chair trying to hide. 

“Namjoon is CLUELESS. He’s never going to pick up on that. You know he likes you right?” Taehyung kept poking me and I sighed. “He said he may like a guy. Maybe it doesn’t sound too sure and how do we know this guy is me?” 

“Trust me, I am his best friend, it’s you. It’s gotta be you. You got that one thing,” Taehyung said and snorted. “Keep quoting one direction and I will cut your dick off,” Yoongi tells him.

“Secretly Namjoon listens to One Direction all the time.” 

“NO WAY!” Jungkook bursts, “I have to discuss this with him. Who was his favorite?”

“Jungkook shut the fuck up,” Yoongi said.

Jungkook pouted and went back to silently eating. “Namjoon listening to one direction has nothing to do with him liking me!”

“But it has a lot to do with the fact that he’s gay. That should have been his awakening,” Taehyung shook his head. 

“Sadly, you were his gay awakening,” Yoongi said and Tae clenched his heart. “Too soon,” he pretended to be hurt. 

“Wasn’t it really Mark though?” Jimin asked. 

“Let’s vote, who here thinks Mark was Namjoon’s gay awakening,” Yoongi says, Jimin and Taehyung raise their hands. “And the rest thinks it was Taehyung?” he asked. 

“No, I believe it may be the one and only Seokjin, but you both are cowards and won’t do anything!” Jungkook hissed at me. 

“Watch it kid,” I snapped at him and he held up his hands surrendering, “Just saying” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about his gay awakening. I’m sure he knows and it’s his own story to tell. Maybe he doesn’t want it to be Mark or Taehyung and maybe it could be Seokjin, we don’t know that,” Jimin spoke up again. 

“Well, my gay awakening was my geography teacher in high school. He had an ass I’d love to-.” Taehyung said. 

“GROSS!” Yoongi shook his head.

“SHUT UP!” Jimin groaned.

“HOW OLD?” yelled Jungkook. 

I couldn’t help but laugh at this whole situation. This poor guy has no idea that the topic of today’s lunch is his gay awakening. If I hadn’t had mine already, Namjoon would have definitely been it. 

“He wasn’t that old. Maybe early 30, not too bad right!” Taehyung argued.

“So, your gay awakening wasn’t Namjoon?” Hobi asked. 

“What exactly is your definition of a gay awakening?” Jimin asked.

“I don’t know, for me, it’s more than just sexual, it’s feelings too, falling for someone. And the only guy I have ever had feelings for that I’ve slept with is Yoongi.” 

“Aw that’s sweet” Jungkook smiled and Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Wouldn’t your gay awakening be the first guy you hooked up with because you were curious and then BOOM shit I’m gay?” Yoongi asked. 

“Then my gay awakening would be Jinnie and I don’t think so,” Hobi said and I groaned. “We said we would never speak of this again!” 

“You guys hooked up?!” Taehyung asked, “and you guys are still friends?”

“Well, for starters. Us hooking up was a mutual curiosity that led to both of us realizing we liked dick up an ass or a dick in our ass. There were no feelings involved.” I explained and Taehyung nodded. “Yup, so you’re still the only clown that fell for their best friend that may or may not actually like his dick up a man’s ass,” Hobi said 

“Trust me that man loves his dick up an ass. Sadly, we never made it that far.” Taehyung sighed and took another bite of his sandwich.

“What do you mean sadly? Are you stupid?” Yoongi asked. 

“He definitely has something wrong with him,” Jimin said, shaking his head. 

What is this friend group?


	9. I know exactly what I need to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> I hope you all had a great holiday season! This chapter is sort of a filler chapter, not much happens. It sort of helps moves the plot along. I promise after the chapter the story picks up and A LOT happens. I won't lie, I am not 100% happy with chapter but I may be self-doubting. Please let us know what you think! Your comments and feedback really does mean a lot to us and helps us with writing. We do keep everyone's suggestions in mind so if you have any feel free to tell us! 
> 
> Song Recommendation: Dancing with a Stranger By: Sam Smith & Normani

*December*  
Hobi's POV:  
Seokjin’s birthday was coming up and as the good best friend that I am, I am planning yet again another birthday party. I wanted to meet with the rest of the guys to have them help me with the planning. It is nothing big, probably just everyone getting together in our room and drinking a little. Maybe we will play a few games, it’s what we always do. I told everyone to meet me for lunch and obviously avoid Seokjin so he does not know this lunch meeting is happening. 

I entered the dining hall and quickly grabbed something to eat. The lines were super long like always. I was running late so I could not be picky. I stood in the shortest of the lines and waited to order a sandwich. Everyone has been waiting for me for the past 15 minutes. My class ran late, the one time I had something to actually do, I had to stay 10 minutes late. I saw my friends all sitting at one table and I smiled as I walked up to them. “Hi, guys, sorry I took so long to get here. My class ended late.” 

“Save the excuses for someone that cares, just sit down and tell us what you need to tell us,” Taehyung said, he’s grumpy. 

“What’s your issue? Why weren’t you in class today too?” I asked Taehyung, he rolled his eyes before answering. 

“I slept in. I have been so tired because I keep getting woken up at 6 am by a certain someone.” he huffed at Jungkook who ignored him completely and continued eating his lunch. I laughed at Taehyung’s complaint and gave Yoongi a kiss on the cheek, he wrapped his arms around my waist once I was settled in my seat. 

“Ah, yes. I have called this meeting to let you all know that my best friend’s birthday is coming up and I am throwing him a surprise birthday party.” 

“It’s not really a surprise, he is expecting a birthday party like he does every year,” Yoongi commented. 

I huffed, “Whatever, just be there or you will never hear the end of it. I honestly wouldn’t care but Seokjin will hold that shit against you for the rest of your life. No one messes with his birthday. Also, do not even think about showing up empty-handed. No gift, no entry.” I added on at the end and everyone nodded. I do not think anywhere is understanding how serious Seokjin takes his birthday. It is fine, they will find out the hard way. 

“I would just like to bring up the fact that I was not given a birthday party. This is discrimination,” Jungkook chimed in. 

“We didn’t know you then. We couldn’t have possibly given you a party.” I said defending myself. 

“No, you didn’t but they knew me.” Pointing at Jimin, Taehyung, and, Namjoon. 

“I didn’t like you enough or cared enough. I still kinda don’t.” Taehyung grumbled. 

“Tae!” Namjoon exclaimed, “What did I say about being rude to people?” 

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “I am just saying. Kook you can’t be upset.” 

“To make you feel better, Kookie, no one even said happy birthday to me,” Jimin said. Jungkook gasped, “I am so sorry Jiminie, I will make it up to you.” 

“Wait, when was your birthday? Jimin, why didn’t you say anything? Of course, we would have done something for you!” said Namjoon. 

“No it’s okay Joon, I usually don’t celebrate my birthday. My family never really cared.” Jimin shrugged his shoulders. 

“Why does no one care about my birthday?” Jungkook protested, “Like I said this is discrimination.” 

Yoongi and I smirked at each other, we loved hanging out with them. They all are so stupid and very entertaining. 

“We’re your second family and we would have celebrated.” Taehyung said, “We will make this up to you, we swear. Right Joon?” 

“Of course we will,” Joon said giving Jimin and cheeky smile. 

“Seriously, are you purposely ignoring me?” Jungkook commented, Yoongi let out a snort while the rest of the boys continued the conversation. 

“No, please don’t. My birthday isn’t a big deal. My mom was more worried about me dancing and staying in shape instead of wasting time and money on a party.” 

“What about a cake?” Namjoon asked Jimin shook his head. “Birthday cake is not on my mom’s menu. Ever. I only ever ate cake at a friend's house and if my mom found out she would force me to work out a whole extra hour.” Jimin explained, what a sad childhood. 

“That sucks, Jimin. Well, you can eat all the cake you want here and I promise I won’t tell your mom.” Yoongi said and Jimin grinned, “Thank you.” He chuckled. 

“I have something to say” Jungkook raised his hand. “Yes, Kook?” Namjoon said. Jungkook cleared his throat, “I feel as though I am not appreciated enough in this family.”

There was an awkward silence, Jimin was the first to speak up. “I appreciate you, Kook” 

“Okay, thank you, but this is mostly towards Taehyung. I feel as though Taehyung does not appreciate me enough.” 

“Bold of you to assume I cared how you feel,” Taehyung said. Yoongi burst out in fits of laughter. I elbowed him but I also could not keep my laugh in. 

“TAEHYUNG!” Namjoon shouted, “Be nice!” 

“TELL ME, HOW CAN I APPRECIATE SOMEONE WHO WAKES UP EVERYDAY AND TURNS ON THEIR STUPID ASS BLENDER AT 6AM?” 

“YOU SAID IT DIDN’T BOTHER YOU!” 

“I LIED. I AM A LIAR, I AM TWISTED.” Taehyung shouted, his eyes bulging out of his sockets. 

“STOP YELLING!” Jimin shouted, “THERE IS NO NEED TO ARGUE. JUST TALK IT OUT LIKE CIVIL PEOPLE!” 

‘Jungkook, if you turn your blender on before noon again I will cut the wires.” Taehyung said calmly. 

“If I stop making smoothies that early can we have a belated birthday party for me?” Jungkook asked. 

“Unbelievable.” Namjoon groaned. 

“Jungkook, I will not nor will I ever throw you a birthday party,” Taehyung said. Jungkook pouted. Jimin tried comforting him. 

“So does this mean you will all come to Seokjin’s party?” I asked. 

I got a series of yes and nodded from the chaotic boys sitting across from me. “Great, then that is all I have to say. How was everyone’s day?” I asked. 

“Well, if you are asking,” Jungkook started. 

“OH. SHUT UP.” Taehyung groaned. 

“Both of you, no more speaking.” Namjoon said shushing them both, “Anyway, thank you for asking, as an RA I would like to say. I am highly disturbed by the fact that every night the condom bowls have been empty. I want to trust it is not any of you but if it is, please return it. I know for a fact you guys are not using them. Hobi and Yoongi being the only exception.” 

“No, it’s not us. We don’t use con-“ I started, Yoongi smacked my arm, “we have our own” Yoongi said. 

Jungkook look horrified, “Jimin, they don’t use condoms?” He tried whispering but was not very good at it. 

“Mind your business, you don’t know what it's like to have a serious boyfriend,” Taehyung said. 

“You too! Don’t single me out.” 

“I said no talking!” Namjoon said. 

“It’s not us, but I am sorry that someone keeps taking all the condoms. It obviously has to be a stupid joke.” Yoongi said. 

“Yeah, but it’s an expensive stupid joke.” 

“The school can afford it, don’t worry about that. We all pay way too much anyway.” Taehyung said he made a really good point. 

“I am just doing my job, being on the other side of it, it gets annoying. So, if you guys see anything, please do not hesitate to tell me.” 

We all nodded in agreement that we would say something if we saw something. 

Lunch did not last much longer after that. We all had things to do and we were slightly worried that if Jungkook and Taehyung stayed around each other any longer they might start a food fight. 

___ 

A few days later, I stood in our common room blowing up an unnecessary amount of baby pink balloons. I couldn’t think of a theme this year so I just went with the color pink. Seokjin would not mind at all. I had most of the decorations up, I’m very impressed with everything I have done so far. I had the streamers up, the birthday banner up, balloons were almost all blown. The cake was in the center of the table, with other finger foods surrounding it. 

Everyone else also pitched in and helped with some aspects. Yoongi is on seokjin duty, not sure what they are doing but they’ve been out all day. Namjoon and Jackson were in charge of alcohol and music. Taehyung was in charge of food, I told him to order pizza because you can’t go wrong with pizza. Jimin is making sure Taehyung is doing his job and Jungkook has been with me all day helping with whatever. 

As of right now, he’s setting up the gift table, like I said, no gift, no entry. We all decided that we should buy our gifts related to the theme. We got pink gifts for our Seokjinnie, he’s going to love it. 

“Hey, did you want me to put the game up on the wall yet?” Asked Jungkook, holding up a picture of Seokjin in one hand and a picture of a dick in another. 

Pin the dick in Seokjin’s mouth, a classic. 

“Yeah, you can hang it on the door of the middle room, no one uses that room.”

Jungkook followed orders and continued working. Once I was done with the balloons I went into my room and grabbed the piñata. It was in the shape of an eggplant, not pink, however very much dick related. Most things were set, we just had to wait for everyone else to show up. I was super excited for this party. I know it’s like every other party we have but the excitement never changes. I like it when we do this and what’s even better is that this year we have even more friends here with us to celebrate. 

“Okay, I’m all done. It looks great Hobi!” Jungkook grinned at me and my work. “Yes, I tend to put in a lot of effort in anything but my actual homework” I chuckled. 

The door flew open and in comes Taehyung with 4 boxes of pizza and Jimin carrying bags of random drinks, I think there may even be two boxes of wings. There was way more food than needed but I won’t complain, I’m sure we could probably finish it all of we tried. 

“What kind of wings?” Jungkook asked, helping Jimin out. “I told them to mix them. I hope you guys can handle the heat, if not I wouldn’t want to be the one who eats the extra hot buffalo wings.” Taehyung said. 

“Thank you both for helping with this, how much was it all? I’ll pay you back right away.”

“Oh no worries, Seokjin is our friend too and we wanted to help,” Jimin said shaking his head, denying the money. 

“Are you sure because -.”

“Seriously, Hobi, you don’t have to!” Taehyung smiled and I nodded, “Okay, thank you again.”

Just then, Namjoon walked in with Jackson, Jinyoung, and a few other people I haven’t met yet. “Okay, we probably bought too much alcohol but we went a little wild in the liquor store,” Namjoon said placing his box on the ground. 

“We’ve got everything, vodka, tequila, whiskey, you name it, we’ve got it.” Jackson said and I chuckled, “Thank you, I’m so excited! Also, nice to meet you guys, I’m Hobi!” I smiled over at the guys Jackson brought along with him. 

They all introduced each other and now that I’ve thought about it, I've met some of them before or at least seen them at parties. Mark, was dating Jinyoung for sure, I could sense some weird tension between Taehyung and Mark though. BamBam looked familiar but I’m not sure if I met him yet. 

“Everything looks good and now all we have to do is wait for the birthday boy. Yoongs said they’re on their way back from the mall so it shouldn’t be too long.” I told everyone and they nodded, “I have to go across the hall to pick up the gifts we got for him but I’ll be back right away,” Namjoon said before leaving. 

“BamBam, what an interesting name,” Jungkook said and I heard the groans happening already. 

This is going to be a long night. 

—— 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Seokjinnie, happy birthday to you!” I belted out. Everyone, so far, has been having a great time. Seokjin acted surprised even though he told me Yoongi had told him the whole plan and to just pretend. 

I held the cake out in front of my best friend as he blew out the candles which called for cheering from behind me. 

“Let’s eat cake!” Jimin shouted. 

“Whoa, slow down, before you have any I need to make sure you eat your dinner first,” Jungkook said. 

“Kook, I had three slices of pizza and if you don’t finish that slice soon I’ll happily finish it for you.” Jimin laughed, “Okay, as long as you’ve had dinner first then you can have dessert” 

“Thanks” Jimin chuckled, Yoongi handed out cake to everyone. Once he was done he brought a piece for himself and sat on my lap. “You know, this was supposed to be a surprise, why did you tell him?” I asked 

“Oh come on, he’s not stupid. He knew exactly what was happening.”

“You could have played along. For being a bad boy, no cake for you.” I said grabbing his plate away and he pouted. 

“Pouting won’t work on me,” I said, I shoved some of the cake in my mouth and Yoongi continue his puppy dog eyes. I swallowed and sighed, “I can’t ever say no to you,” I said and he chuckled leaning down to press a kiss on my lips. 

“Ew, we’re eating over here, thank you” Taehyung commented, Yoongi pulled his lips away from mine, “If you’re disgusted, close your eyes,” he said before coming at me again, this time his kiss was a lot sloppier and included tongue that I was not prepared for. 

“Let’s open presents!” yelled Jimin, he got up and grabbed the bags of gifts. 

“You guys really didn’t have to get me anything,” Jin said, what a liar. This man loves gifts and attention. The only other thing he loves more than gifts and attention is himself. 

“Open mine first!” Taehyung yelled, “You’ll love it, I saw someone else’s room and thought, ‘yes this is exactly what Seokjin needs!’” 

Jin grabbed the bag, “Okay, I’ll open yours first if that’s okay with everyone else?” 

“Of course it is, it’s your birthday!” Jungkook chirped.

Jin grinned and nodded, he pulled out the tissue paper that was on top and pulled out a brown box. He slowly opened the box and peeked in. Jin’s grin disappeared and was replaced with a horrified expression. 

“T-Taehyung, you really didn’t have to” he choked out, “I mean it’s a nice gift but really, you didn’t have to!” 

“You don’t like it? I saw Jimin’s the other day and really thought you would! I even got one for myself, it's red!”

“What did you get him?” Namjoon eyed Taehyung, “The real question is what did you see that was mine?” Jimin asked. 

“Oh for crying out loud!” Yoongi got up and grabbed the box. He pulled out the contents. In his hand, he held a hot pink vibrator. Jungkook let out a gasped, Namjoon groaned, I bit back a laugh.

“TAEHYUNG!” Jimin shouted, “This is crossing the line, I expect this weird shit from Jungkook but not you!” 

“Why from me! I would never do that to someone!” Jungkook shouted. 

“What! I thought it was a good gift, it goes really well with the theme!” Taehyung argued.

“This is really not what I was expecting when I decided to come to this party” Bambam mumbled from the corner he was sitting in with Jackson and their other friends. I feel so bad that this is what they have to deal with. 

“Taehyung, I love it and I’ll uh use it tonight?” Jin said shrugging not really sure what to say. 

“No one wants to know that!” Yoongi scrunched his nose in disgust. 

“Wait, you got one for yourself?” Jungkook asked 

Taehyung nodded, “I’ve never had a vibrator and I really liked this one” 

“How exactly did you see mine?” Jimin huffed, his cheeks were lit up red. I found this amusing but also I really couldn’t care less. It’s a vibrator, who cares. 

“I was going through your drawers the other day because I was bored.” 

Jimin sighed, “I don’t even know what to say, we will discuss this later.” 

Taehyung shrugged, that man couldn’t care less as well and it’s one thing I adore about him. He was so carefree and ignored the things people said about him or to him. He had a mind of his own and it was so admirable. 

Jin went through the rest of his gifts and once he was done we decided to play games.

“This is ridiculous” Namjoon groaned, “Who the hell thought twister was a good idea!” 

“Shut up, put your left foot on yellow!” Jackson said he was twisted underneath Namjoon, two seconds away from slipping and crushing Jungkook. The three of them were in an intense position. 

“I can’t, if I move I’m going to fall!” Namjoon shouted at him. 

“Just do it! If you fall you get out!” Jinyoung said

“If he falls then we all fall! Do not purposely lose this!” Jackson groaned, “It is not that hard, move your foot!” 

Namjoon sighed and slid his foot across to the yellow circle, “This really fucking hurts” he mumbled.

“Is he always such a party pooper?” I asked Taehyung who was in charge of spinning for this round. 

“Always, he hates party games.” 

“Maybe he’ll like to pin the dick in Seokjin's mouth,” I said 

“What the hell did you just say?” Namjoon said, causing him to lose balance. The three of them fell on the ground, loud groans of pain bouncing off the walls. 

“Gosh, Namjoon. I am never playing twister with you again.” Jungkook rubbed his arm that got crushed by Jackson. 

“Why can’t we play normal college games like beer pong or something? I have never played twister at a party before.” BamBam said, “That’s because you do not party with these guys, they’re an interesting bunch.” Jimin commented. “I am glad I met them but sometimes I wonder, why me?” 

“I am not playing that game. That sounds stupid, even stupider than this.” Namjoon protested about Pin the dick in Seokjin. 

“Seriously, RM, you have to play party games, for me?” Seokjin pouted. 

“No, I’m not playing anymore,” Namjoon argued. Seokjin sighed in defeat, “Why did you invite him? He should have stayed his sour ass back in his room and read Harry Potter or some other lame shit along those lines.” 

“Harry Potter is not lame! You never took the time to appreciate the art behind it.” Namjoon said, Seokjin scoffed. “Can we not talk about Harry Potter at my birthday party?”

“If I had a birthday party we could talk about Harry Potter.” Jungkook said causing everyone to roll their eyes.

“Okay moving on, we don’t have to play that one but can we at least hit the piñata now?” I said this was the moment I’ve been waiting for. 

“Yes!” Seokjin grinned, “I love piñatas!” 

We got everything set up, no one else wanted to try to hit the piñata so it was all up to Seokjin. I tied the blindfold around him and spun him around three times. 

“Okay, ready!” I pushed him towards the piñata and quickly jumped back. 

“I’m telling you right now, if you want to keep your heads, you better move out of the way,” I said hiding behind Yoongi. 

Everyone took a step back, “Jin! You’re nowhere near the piñata!” Jungkook yelled we put him in charge of holding it up, he stood on the table and patiently waited for Seokjin to hit it. 

“I think I got it now!” Seokjin swung his stick and — “JOON, WATCH OUT!”, too late. Namjoon got smacked in the chest. 

“I am not the piñata!” Joon groaned in pain. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry Joon!” Seokjin screeched, as he continued to swing his stick around. After a few more tries and Jungkook basically shoving it in his face, he hit the piñata and out fell the contents. 

“CONDOMS!” NAMJOON SHOUTED, “SO YOU HAVE BEEN TAKING THEM! AND FOR THIS? I REALLY TRUSTED YOU HOSEOK!”

Everyone broke out into fits of laughter, the only person not amused was Namjoon. 

“How long did it take you to gather all of these?” Seokjin laughed. 

“Eh, about a month of sealing them, I did plan on returning them. Unless, Seokjin, you might need them?” I raised an eyebrow, hinting at him and Namjoon. 

“Shut up, I have my own. Thank you very much.” 

“I wish someone threw me a birthday party and had a piñata filled with condoms for me.” Jungkook pouted.

“Not this shit again! Jungkook, it’s not about you today or tomorrow or ever!” Taehyung argued.

“WHY CAN'T IT BE ABOUT ME ON MY BIRTHDAY!?”

“It’s not your birthday! Try again next year okay!” 

Jungkook folded his arms and sat down on the chair. “Kookie, I’ll make it up to you okay?” Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook, he leaned down and whispered something. Jungkook's face gave the whole secret away and I was disgusted. It seems as though they might need the condoms after all. 

The rest of the night consisted of everyone sitting around and getting way too wasted for absolutely no reason. I stayed close to Yoongi all night, my work was basically done. Seokjin had a great party, probably the best one in a while. His favorite gift was definitely Namjoon’s number. He was cute about it too, he wrote it on a card that was pink of course. 

Jackson and his friends left earlier than everyone else did. They probably had enough of the chaotic mess that is our friend group. By the time we got rid of everyone it was 2 am, Yoongi was in bed knocked out and jin laid on the ground staring at his phone smiling. 

“Just text him, staring at his number won’t get you a boyfriend,” I said, cleaning up around him. No one picked up the condoms earlier and they got pushed around as the night went on. Finding them all was the most tedious part. 

“I’m not trying to get a boyfriend,” Seokjin answered, still smiling. 

I scoffed, “okay fine, I am, but I don’t think he wants one so why try to force something onto someone who doesn’t want it.” He said. 

“He wants you, he clearly made a move by willingly giving you his number.” 

“You think that’s a move, not just something friendly?” 

“No, giving you a hot pink vibrator is friendly. A phone number, on the other hand, means he wants you to call him so he can dick you down at some point.” 

“You really really think so?”

“I know so Jinnie, trust me on this one? He likes you, he really likes you.” 

Seokjin sighed and began typing on his phone. After awhile of backspacing and retyping, he finally sent his first text to Namjoon. 

“What if he doesn’t reply?” 

“You literally just texted him.”

“Maybe I should go over and see-.”

“NO!” I shouted, “I will disown you if you go over there, he probably fell asleep. It is 2 am and we’ve all been drinking for hours, he’s wasted and tired.” 

“He answered!” Seokjin gasped, most likely ignoring everything I just said. 

I shook my head and smiled, I hope this ends well. He deserves happiness and dick. 

“Goodnight, don't stay up too late,” I said before heading to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? It is short but I swear after this chapter we dive deeper into Namjin and the other boys relationships. Get ready for the DRAMA and of course, more weird shit that these chaotic boys do.


	10. Friends can break your heart too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Hobi’s POV: 

* FLASHBACK *

Fucking Jin. He always bails on me, every week he hypes up a party then when the weekend rolls around I am left alone yet again at the lousy bar drinking my life away. Not that it is really a big issue, I can always have a good time. I am usually the life of the party, but it would be nice to have my best friend here with me. I leaned against the bar, already three drinks in, I am surrounded by a group of people that I didn't really know. I only talked to them on my nights out. 

It’s only been a few weeks since the semester started but I was already tired of school. I was stuck in so many gen eds that I didn’t have much room for fashion classes. I think once I get to design, I will feel less stressed out but as of now, drinking is a way to wash away the shit I had to deal with all week. 

The group I was with decided to all do shots, and who says no to shots? I quickly downed two before heading to the bathroom. I constantly kept checking my phone. I was waiting for Jin to reply, he lives off-campus and I usually crash at his place after a night out because making it back to campus would be hell. 

While in the bathroom, I noticed a shorter, redhaired boy looking at himself in the mirror. He had a black leather jacket on, cute. I quickly pissed so I could stand next to him while washing my hands. I looked at him through the mirror. He caught my gaze and made a disgusted face. 

“The fuck are you looking at,” he snapped at me, his words sort of slurred. 

I was actually taken aback by his comment, “Oh, I uh like your hair,” I said drying my hands on my pants. He was surprised by my answer, “Thanks I dyed it this morning. Not sure if I liked it, until now,” he stared into the mirror. “It really suits you, but I am not sure if you can pull the leather jacket look off with that hair,” I said. 

“What are you the fashion police?” he asked. “Actually, I am a fashion major, so I do know a thing or two when it comes to achieving the perfect look,” I grinned but he did not look amused, at least at first, he didn’t. 

His straight lips slowly turned into a gummy smile, “Dork” he said laughing, we stood talking for a bit about nonsense really, nothing important. I liked making him laugh, his smile did not match the image he was trying to display, and I found it adorable actually. Rough exterior, sweet interior. Maybe even sweeter in bed. 

“So, are you here with someone?” I asked the small redhead. 

“If I was would I be standing here talking to you?” 

“Probably not, but then again, I tend to make people forget who they came with.” 

Redhead laughed again, this time a little harder. “You’re corny but cute. So, I’ll accept it.”

“Don’t need your acceptance, just your permission,” I smirked. 

“For what?” he asked.

I stepped closer to him, he wasn’t much shorter than me, the perfect height difference, “To kiss you,” I whispered, leaning into him. He hesitated before he answered, his eyes dropping down to my lips and back up to meet my gaze. Redhead bit his bottom lip and nodded. 

Great. 

I leaned forward pressing my lips to his. The warm and wet, they may have been the only lips I ever wanted to kiss again. 

Redhead moved faster than I expected, he pushed me against the sink. His kisses became rougher and I was definitely okay with it. I picked up the pace, wrapping my arms around his waist pulling him closer. 

“Let’s go,” Redhead said breaking the kiss after a few more minutes, and I followed. 

“I’m Yoongi, by the way,” He said as he pulled me behind him. 

“I’m Hoseok,” I replied. 

We ended up hooking up at his place and for something that was supposed to be for one night, turned into an ongoing relationship. 

*END*  
_____  
My alarm goes off, waking me up from a very peaceful slumber. I groaned searching for my phone on my dresser by my bed, trying not to open my eyes. Last night was a late one, I stayed up doing homework and planning some designs for my final. I actually fell asleep while working. My books were laying on the floor and I was still in my jeans from yesterday. After a while of scrolling through my phone, I finally built up the courage to roll out of bed and get ready for the day. It was Friday though and Friday is my favorite day of the week. This Friday was extra special too. It was my three-year anniversary with Yoongi. We’re going out on a date tonight, just the two of us. We haven’t spent much time alone recently, mostly because I have been ignoring him ever since I realized that I am in love with him. I mean I sort of knew I loved him, but we never exchanged ‘I love you’s before and I am super nervous to do so. I don’t think I am ready to admit these feelings. 

I quickly got my things ready and headed out the door, Jin had already left for his student teaching. He was up bright and early at 6 am, but luckily for me. my first class doesn't start until 11 am so I have all morning to sleep in. Before heading to class, I grabbed some coffee at the cafe. I usually wait until my class at 1 pm to eat or drink something but I could not get through this day without coffee. 

“Hey!” Taehyung said I did not expect to see him here. We have our class together later and that is usually when I see him on most days. 

“Hey,” I smiled, “Class soon?” I asked. 

“I’ve been in classes since 8 am, my next class isn't until the one with you. I didn't feel like getting lunch, so I got a smoothie,” He explained, he did look rather tired but energetic at the same time. 

“I haven’t had a smoothie from here before, are they any good?” 

“Yeah most of the time, depending on who makes them. Jimin and I spent a day drinking smoothies to find out who makes the best one and that girl” Tae pointed at the girl working the blender, “makes THE BEST ones,” he exclaimed and I laughed, “Okay, I will have to try it sometime.” 

“Definitely, so what are you doing tonight?” he asked, grabbing his smoothie from the worker that called his name. 

“Yoongi and I are going out, it’s our anniversary.” 

His eyes widen, “Oh that’s so cute! 3 years, right? I thought it passed since Jin keeps saying you guys have been together for three years.” 

“Well we hooked up for a while before we made it official and that has been over three years so he might have been referencing that.”

“Ahh, I see, well I hope you guys have a good time and great sex.” 

I chuckled, “Thanks, I’ll tell you more about it in class. I have to get going, class -” I looked at my watch, “fuck, started 8 minutes ago,” I grabbed my coffee, quickly waving bye to Taehyung before running to class. 

___ 

“Are you excited, nervous?” Jin asked me and I rolled my eyes. “It’s Yoongi, we’ve been out so many times,” I said, grabbing the gift I got him off the table and shoving it into my jacket pocket. 

“So, you guys never do anything special, this may be the first actual date in a while.” 

“We go on a lot of dates!” 

“Going to Dunkin’ Donuts at 2 am because you both are craving powdered sugar donuts is not a date! Especially with me driving your asses there!” Seokjin exclaimed and I rolled my eyes. 

“Okay, fine. Maybe it has been a while since we have done something, but hey, tonight will be great! I got him a great gift, we’re going to see that movie he wanted to see and then we're going bowling. I’ll even let him win our wing eating contest.” 

“You can’t let him win, that’s cheating. But it does sound like a very yoonseok date.” 

“Please do not call us that but thank you. We haven't gone bowling or to the movies in a while, so I hope he enjoys it.” 

“He will, don’t worry too much and hey, don’t overthink the whole ‘I love you’ thing. If he says it then just say how you feel. Do not rush into anything because you feel bad.” 

I sighed, “I know, I better get going. He hates when we miss the previews.” 

“Have fun!” I heard him shout before I closed the door and headed downstairs to Yoongi’s room. 

I knocked on his door and waited for him to open up. After a few minutes, I just punched in the code to his room and entered. “Yoongi, are you-” I stopped talking and saw him lying in bed, sound asleep. I wanted to be annoyed but his bed was covered in tissues and the trash can next to his bed reeked of vomit. 

Instead of waking him up, I decided to clean his room. It was a mess; I dropped my stuff quietly on the chair and began cleaning. He can be such a slob sometimes. I saw a gift bag and a card on his desk. His clothes were all picked out and everything. I noticed his leather jacket hanging on the chair and laughed to myself. He’s still my tiny redhead, leather jacket-wearing boy and I love him so much. 

“Seokie?” I heard a small voice; I immediately went to his side. “You okay, bub?” 

“I woke up feeling like shit and spent the day puking my life out.” 

“You should have called or texted me.” 

“I know, I didn’t want you to know I was sick because then we wouldn’t go out.” 

“Well we aren’t going out. It’s freezing out there and you don’t need to be out there when you’re under the weather.” 

“But what about the movie?” he pouted.

“I bought it on Amazon.” 

“Okay, but bowling?” 

“We have the Wii, either way, I’m kicking your ass,” I smiled, and he scoffed, “Whatever, but I’m hungry and I wanted wings, let’s just go out.” 

“I already ordered wings; they should be here soon.” 

“I hate you,” he mumbled. “No, you love me,” I said the words slipping out of my mouth too quickly. 

“Eh, are you sure about that?” 

I shrugged, “All I know is that I am the best boyfriend in the world. I even cleaned your room. Now, let’s get you all showered; you smell gross.” I clamped my nose with my finger, and he hit me jokingly. “I do not smell!” He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom down the hall. While he was gone, I took the time to make his bed and get everything ready for us to watch the movie. I changed into a pair of sweats and a shirt that I left here. We should be comfy if we’re staying in. 

Yoongi gets back from the shower. His hair was wet, and he stood in his towel. “I forgot my robe and you didn’t answer your phone,” he huffed. I chuckled, “Sorry I was setting up the Wii. I didn’t feel the vibration, but it’s fine. Everyone got to see your cute tummy,” I teased him, and he rolled his eyes. “You mean abs?”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” 

“Hey, I have been going to the gym every day for the past few months!”

“I am kidding! I know you have abs, you look good, babe,” I smiled, putting the controller down. “Get dressed and let’s watch the movie,” I added and sat on the bed waiting for him. 

“Okay, close your eyes.”

“Yoongs just get dressed. I have seen you naked so many times.” 

“Just clothes your eyes you pig!” he hissed. I groaned laying on the bed and covered my face with his pillow. A few minutes later Yoongi threw himself down on top of me. “Hello,” he said, hiding his face in my neck. 

“You smell better,” I mumbled, wrapping my arms around his waist. 

“Fuck you, happy anniversary Seokie,” he said into pressing his lips on my neck. 

I rolled him off of me, we laid facing each other, “Happy anniversary, Yoongs,” I whispered, leaning forward giving him a small kiss. 

“You should brush your teeth again; it still tastes like your vomit.” 

“Why do you ruin every cute moment we have,” he deadpanned. 

I chuckled at his annoyance and pulled him into a hug, leaving kisses all over his face. We spent the rest of the night this way. We cuddled in bed and watched the movie. We even played bowling for a little while but Yoongi was too tired to move around for too long. Not that bowling takes a lot of endurance, but it is Yoongi we’re talking about here. Around midnight once we were done playing games, watching movies, and stuffing our faces. We lay silently in bed together. These are some of my favorite moments with him. It’s calm and reassuring. It’s safe. It’s usually one of the only times my mind isn’t racing. I love Yoongi and I’m scared. I don’t ever want to lose him but knowing me, I might mess it up. I don’t want to mess it up. God, please don’t let me screw this up. 

“Hoseok,” Yoongi snapped, “I’ve been calling your name for the past 5 minutes, what are you thinking about?” he asked me, his finger tracing my stomach. “You,” I mumbled, and he snorted, “You’re such a loser.” 

“No, I really was. I’m glad we stayed in; this has been one of my favorite dates with you.” 

“Damn, not our 2 am Dunkin’ Donuts dates?” he said sounding fake hurt.

“Those are my second favorite dates,” I chuckled. 

“That’s fair. Thank you for the gift again. It’s really nice.” Yoongi said playing with his bracelet on his wrist. I got us matching dolphin tail pendants. Mine is gold and his is silver. I wear mine as a necklace though and I knew Yoongi would rather a bracelet. 

“Anytime, love” 

“I’m sleepy. The medicine is kicking in finally.” 

“Let’s go to sleep then,” I said, pulling the blankets over us and pull him closer to me. 

Yoongi laid against me humming. He always hums this one song; he says it reminds him of me. I think it’s cute and it surprisingly always calms me down when I’m having a bad day, or it makes me sleepy. But it also just might be Yoongi.  
——— 

Taehyung’s POV: 

I didn’t want a birthday party. More like I really wasn’t expecting one. I knew Namjoon wasn’t really good at planning this kind of thing, but I should have known that with the help of Jimin and Jungkook I would be getting somewhat of a party. It was once again at Jackson’s house; someone really needs to pay this man for letting us use his house so many times. I know he didn’t mind because it gives him an excuse to have a party, he doesn’t really need one though because he still has a party. Every. Weekend. 

Honestly this year I didn’t really feel like celebrating. The past few months have been sort of weird for me. I don’t really show it or try to talk about it because I’m supposed to be the happy one that’s weird and crazy but when I’m alone my mood is very different. I didn’t really take the whole Namjoon and I being “over” lightly, it broke my heart in a way that it shouldn’t have. He’s my best friend and I shouldn’t have fallen for him but sadly I did. I’m not 100% over him but I’ve moved on enough where we can be friends again. I also realized that being mad at him was more of me trying to redirect my anger towards myself for getting into this mess. Yes, Namjoon has control over what he was doing but so did I and I’m the one that decided to ignore my feelings and continue to hook up with him regardless of how much it was hurting me. 

Tonight though, as much as I thought I was over him, I really am not. My jealousy levels were through the roof, but I kept drinking the feeling away. It was supposed to be a night about me, my birthday party. However, Namjoon probably forgot why he threw this in the first place because he spent the night glued to Jin’s side. They have been weirdly close lately, and who am I to tell Namjoon that he can’t be with someone, but it hurts a lot you know. I won’t lie and say that I don’t wish that was me. I sort of hate that Jin is living the life that I wanted. I mean I have had my fair share of laughing with Namjoon, dancing with Namjoon, and being touched by Namjoon but it was different. It wasn’t a serious feeling. 

I stood by the dance floor sipping on a drink, Yoongi and Hobi kept trying to get me to dance or even go out to smoke with them but I really wasn’t in the mood. Jimin and Jungkook were shoving their tongues down each other’s mouths, or at least it’s obvious that that’s what they want to be doing while they’re standing really close to each other whispering and giggling like little girls. 

This does not feel like a celebration of me. 

I sighed when I finished my drink and headed back to the kitchen. Jackson and Youngjae were there. “Hey, birthday boy!” Youngjae smiled and I returned the gesture. 

“You don’t seem too excited to be here. What’s going on?” Jackson asked.

I shrugged, “Not really in the party type of mood. I’m probably going to get going soon or something. It was really nice of you to let us have another party here though and I really appreciate it,” I said. I poured a shot for myself and then two more for Jackson and Youngjae. 

I passed the cups to them and held it up to cheers, “To me,” I mumbled and downed the drink focusing on the fiery sensation it caused as it went down my throat rather than the burning pains in my heart. Dramatic, I know. 

“I’m sorry you’re not having a good time. I think I know what’s bothering you, but we don’t have to talk about it,” Jackson said resting his hand on my shoulder. 

“No, it’s whatever. It’s all in my head. I just need to get over it,” I said, “I should go though, I’d have a better time in my pajamas watching Netflix and eating pizza or something.” 

“Okay, I can let them know that you are leaving if you want?” Jackson offered and I shake my head. “No, I want them to enjoy the party, not worrying about me,” Jackson nodded and then I turned to leave looking over at the dance floor once last time. Jin was leaning into Namjoon, their faces only inches apart. Namjoon’s hands holding Jin by the waist. Jin was saying something and Namjoon laughed, throwing his head back. They are cute, they are happy. 

It’s raining big fat raindrops as I walk back to the dorm. It's been raining for a while so there are puddles everywhere and small little rivers flowing down the side of the road to the storm drains where they disappear carrying leaves to their deaths. Cars pass me with their headlights on and their windshield wipers going back and forth as fast as they can go.

I am cold and shivering as I make the long treacherous walk home to the dorms. My hair is plastered to my head with water running down my face and dripping off my chin and nose. My clothes are completely soaked and are clinging to me. They hadn't stayed dry long before I left. 

I don’t know how I am supposed to feel right now. My emotions are everywhere, I want to cry, be angry and hurt, but I also want to feel happy for him at the same time and be the supportive best friend that he can rely on. I feel like I am going crazy and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don't want to go back to the dorms, but I have no place else. I have no one to rely on either. I am just alone with myself and these stupid emotions. I just want to sleep and be warm again.

It takes me thirty minutes before I finally made it back on campus. No one is around of course because I am the only dumbass to walk around in the middle of the night, especially when it is pouring. It doesn’t take me much longer to get to my dorm, probably like another five minutes. I just opened the door and took a step in when I run right into someone.

“Whoa! Sorry there,” he says and grabs my arms to keep me from falling over. I don’t even look up at him. I just say sorry in a monotone voice and try to walk around him, my only worry is about getting to my room, so I can break down cry and take a shower after to wash away the evidence. 

“Hey, are you alright?” he asks grabbing one of my arms again to stop me from getting too far from him. Why does he have to do this to me right now? Just leave me alone, please. 

“Yeah, I am fine.” I say and try to leave again, but he doesn’t let go of my arm.

“If you are fine, then you would not be soaking wet and look like you are two seconds away from bursting into tears.” I finally look at the guy who won’t leave me the fuck alone. He was almost my height, just a tad shorter. He looked younger than me and with a little bit of innocence to him. “Are your friends around that can stay with you and keep you company?”

Are my friends around? My friend is at a party who is probably getting his dick sucked by the resident that lives across the hall from him. My friend is not around, and he could not give less of a shit where I am right now. Nobody has tried calling or texting me since I left seeing if I am alright or where I am. Something could have happened to me and they wouldn’t even know or care. I am just alone. Alone and tired and sick of everything. Why did I have to open my mouth? Why did I have to demand more? Why did I have to fall him? If I just kept it shut and not let my emotions get in the way, then none of this would have happened. I and Namjoon would still have the same relationship we had before, and nothing would have changed. Why can’t I be a supportive friend? Why do I always fuck up? Why can I not be a good friend? What is wrong with me?

All of this hits me hard all at once and I could not take it anymore. I start to cry. Not just cry as you see in the movies, where the actresses still look gorgeous and make little whimpering noises. No, of course, I can’t cry like that. I am full-on sobbing, with snot running down my face. My face turns beet red and I can’t see anything. I am making these awful loud sounds like a dying elephant and I have never looked or sounded worse in my life than at that very moment. I did this all in front of a guy I have no idea who he is, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop or care.

I all of a sudden felt arms around me bringing me into a hug and I didn’t know how much I needed that hug. Namjoon and I haven't been cuddling as much and I didn’t realize how much I missed the feeling. Namjoon always gave the best hugs. Since he was bigger than me, he would engulf me with warmth and love and comfiness. This obviously made me cry harder.

The guy just held me tighter and rubbed my back till I calmed down a little. Once in awhile saying, “It’s okay” and “You will be alright”. Good thing it was in the middle of the night, so there was no one really around to see me hit the lowest point of my life. I bet a few people heard me from inside their dorms, but I just hoped they ignored the whale noises that were coming out of me.

Once I wasn’t sobbing anymore, but still had tears still running out my eyes, the guy leaned back to get a look at my face. He wiped some of the tears he could off. He looked sad and worried for me.

“How about we go get some ice cream from the school market and go back to my dorm. I live in Alexander Hall. You can take a shower and we can watch a movie together. I don’t think you should be alone right now and the fact that you started crying when I mentioned your friends, clearly something with you and them are not at the closest point in your relationship now and you have no one here right now to hang out with you. I am not trying to kidnap you or anything if you are worried. You can text someone my room number if you want to make sure you are safe. I live in room 235 with my friend Bogum, but he is not there tonight. He is staying with a friend. They are working on a project that is due Monday that he left to the last minute,” the guy rambled on. 

I don’t know why this guy is being so nice to me right now. He doesn’t know me. All he knows about me is how pathetic I am. I don’t know what to do anymore. The alcohol I drank earlier is not making it any better. I am not drunk, just a tad buzzed, the cold rain sobered me up. I don’t want to be alone, but I also don’t want to bother this guy or my friends. I doubt he is trying to kidnap me. He looks too sweet and nice to do that. Maybe I should just go to my dorm. 

“Here put on my sweatshirt, you’re cold,” he says as he takes it off and hands it to me. Just then I realize that I am shivering and that I am super cold. I just hold on to it instead of putting it on. I am trying to figure out all of the shit that is going on in my head and I am struggling to do more than one thing at once.

“You can trust me. Here, how about I talk to one of your friends. Can I use your phone and explain to them what is going on? Then we can go to my room so you can shower and hopefully not catch a cold. I feel like that is the last thing you need to be dealing with right now.” 

That doesn't sound like a bad idea, but who should I call? Definitely not Namjoon nor Jin. Hobi was pretty wasted when I left. Jimin is probably the best option at this point. I just nod and take out my phone to unlock it and find Jimin’s number. “Your phone is almost dead. We will charge it as soon as we get to my room.”

“Okay,” I say in a broken, raspy tone due to my crying fest and hand him the phone. “Put my sweatshirt on and we can start walking to the market and get ice cream.” I nod and do what he says. 

M: “Hello? Is this Jimin?.... Tae is fine, well physically. He is a little sad and slightly drunk I think.” 

He pauses as Jimin talks to him. We leave Winsor and head in the direction of the market. It is not raining as hard anymore, but it is enough that we will be wet by the time we get to the market. He opens up an umbrella that I did not see him carrying and he made sure that it covers me as we walk. It is still on the small side and we don’t fully fit underneath it without one of our shoulders getting wet.

M: “I am Minjae. I am a student at UNH as well. I ran into him when he was coming into Winsor and I was leaving. I don’t think it is a great idea for him to be alone right now and we are going to go to my dorm which is in Alexander hall. I live in room 235. I wanted someone to know where he will be and that he was not just kidnapped or anything.” 

He pauses again. I realized then that I didn’t know his name. So, I guess his name was Minjae. He looks over to me to see that I am okay, while he listens to what Jimin is saying to him. He takes and puts the hood up on the sweatshirt that I just put up over my head to keep me warm seeing that I am shivering still.

M: “I know this is kind of weird and this is why I am letting you know where he will be, but I promise that everything is fine. We are going to go get ice cream from the market, get him to take a shower, and watch a movie. Do you want to talk to Tae and then I can get your number from Tae and text you my dorm and room number, so you have my number as well?” 

He looks at me to see if that is okay, and I nodded my head in agreement.

M: “Okay, not going to lie his phone is almost dead, but we plan on charging it right away when we get to my room,” he pauses again. I guess Jimin is really going detective mode on this guy. He is handling it very well at least.

M: “I do have a roommate. He is out right now working on a project with his friend and won’t be back in the morning ...Okay, that’s fine. It was nice talking to you. I will text you right away.” 

He hands me my phone with a smile, and I put it up to my ear, 

T: “...hello?” 

J: “Hey, Tae are you okay? You sound like you have been crying,” worry in his voice and I feel bad, knowing I put it there.

T: “I am fine, I don't want to talk about it.”

J: “Does it have to do with Namjoon?”

T: “I really don’t want to talk about it right now,” my voice threatening to break into a cry again.

J: “Okay okay, that’s fine. Do you need me to come back? I could be back in 15 minutes. I just need to get everyone together.” 

T: “No I am fine, don’t worry. Stay, have fun.” The last thing I need is everyone in my business. 

J: “If you are sure. Do you know who this Minjae guy is? If you need me to call the police say, ‘I love Jungkook’.”

T: “No, I just met him, but he is really nice.”

J: “Don’t go around sleeping with a bunch of people because someone was a dumbass and hurt you. You are just going to get hurt again in the end.”

T: “I am not I promise, Jimin. We are going to go get ice cream and go watch movies in his dorm. I will text and snap you frequently. Don’t worry so much.”

J: “Okay, I am putting a lot of trust into you right now. If you need help text me just the letter ‘a’ and I will get help right away”

T: “Okay I will. I will text you soon.” 

J: “Okay, I will be waiting. If you need anything, don't hesitate to let me know. I will let you know when we get back. We should be back in a couple of hours.”

T: “I will, promise. Have fun. I will talk to you later, bye.”

J: “Bye, Tae”

I hung up the phone and put it back into my pocket. When I looked up, I realize that we made it to the marketplace. Minjae opened the door and waited for me to walk through first. Once I was in, he immediately closed his umbrella and walked in after me to the ice cream section. I looked at all the little different flavored pints of ice cream that was offered to us in through the glass freezer door. I didn’t know what one I wanted to pick and then I came to the flavor bad breakup. How fitting for my situation even though we were never together in the first place. That just makes me sadder. If we were at least together then I would have a reason to be sad losing him, but I didn’t even have him in the first place. I was the stupid one to get attached. I was the one that let me believe something could actually happen. I am the fuck up in this. I think that is what hurts the most. It is these facts the fact that I was not even wanted. I just stopped thinking about it grabbed it. Minjae ends up grabbing Chubby Hubby and grabs the ice cream I was holding and goes to the cashier before I could say anything. 

Once it is paid for by him, he gets us spoons and we head to Alexander Hall. It is not that far from the market, but it was in the opposite direction of my hall. The rain still has not stopped and so the umbrella comes out again. It is quiet while we walk except the patter of rain as it hits the umbrella and ground. 

When we get to his hall, that was Alexander like he said, we quickly climb the stairs to get to his floor. His building is okay, definitely not the newest, but not out of date. His dorm room door is covered with different types of door tags, I am guessing from this year and past years as well due to how many were stuck on there. Granted that his roommate's door tags were on there as well, but both of them combined the top half of the door was barely visible. Minjae quickly opened his door and went in to turn on the lights in the pitch-dark room.

He only had one room where they kept everything, unlike some dorms where they had a common room as well like Jin and Hoseok. So, it was on the smaller side, but it was very neat and clean. When you walked in, there was a closet on your right that one could not see until the door was closed. On the left was a bed that had a soft-looking comforter on it and looked inviting to lay on. On the farthest side of the room, looked the same way but had a window that looked into the dark campus. In between the closets had a TV mounted on the wall with a fridge and microwave that was also acting as a self to hold an Xbox. There wasn’t anything special about the room, but it did feel comforting. 

Minjae takes off his shoes by the door and walks around to the bed that was right next to us and sets the ice cream bag down on it. So that must be his bed. He has some music posters on the wall, half of them being the Beatles. I take off my shoes, as he did and close the door. He moves to his desk that is right next to his bed on the opposite wall of the tv, where his roommate’s desk sat as well. He opens a drawer pulling out a really long phone charger, like the ten-foot ones. He turns back to me, seeing that I am still standing next to his door. “Oh come in. This is a charger for your phone. I had to have it last year because there were only two outlets in that room and they were in the farthest spots possible, I swear. Oh, and another thing.” He hands me his phone with a new contacts page open waiting for information to be put in. “Give me Jimin’s number and I will text him. You should probably also snap him to let him know you are all right. I am going to get you a towel and Pj’s and some shower stuff ready so you can get out of those wet clothes and warm up. There won’t be anyone in there so take all the time you need. Just remember room 235. I will leave the door to unlock for you so you can just walk in when you are done.”

Minjae talks a lot, but it's not annoying. It’s motherly and just wants everything to be alright. I just nod and put in the information into his phone. When I am done with that, I set his phone on his bed and snap Jimin a picture of his room saying, I’m not dead yet. I plug my phone into the charger he said that I could borrow and lay it on his bed. I turn to see what Minjae is doing and could see him bent over looking through his drawer for what I am guessing is PJs. He quickly grabs what he needs and closes the drawer. When he sees that I am standing there watching him, he comes over to me and places the pajamas in my arms, along with a towel and a shower caddy.

“Here is everything you will need. Take the right out of the door and it will be on your left a few doors down. When you are done, we can watch a movie or whatever and eat ice cream and hopefully you fall asleep. It will probably solve a lot of your problems.” I say okay and a thank you and go take a shower. 

I don’t feel like crying anymore. I think I pretty much got it out earlier when I cried all over Minjae. I feel bad that I did that to him. He doesn’t deserve to deal with my shit. But he is being so nice to me. I stay in the shower and just sat under the spray looking at the wall blankly. I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I am just a numb broken boy with nothing in his life. When did I become a depressive drunk? I don’t know how long I sat there, but I think it was a while. I finally picked myself up and went back to Minjae’s room. The pajamas he got me were just some pajama pants and a loose band t-shirt. I quickly went back to his room, so I don’t keep him waiting any longer.

When I open his door, I first notice it is not as bright as it was before. I just notice that they have fairy lights hanging up on the left side of the room, giving it a warm yellow glow. Unlike the overhead lights that were bright and ugly looking, the fairy light made the place feel even warmer and inviting. He’s lying on his bed, looking at his phone. When he sees me, he immediately had a smile on his face, sets his phone down, and sits up.

“Oh, good you are back! Here let me get you a bag for your wet clothes,” and he jumped off his bed and went to his closet. He takes them from me and puts them in a plastic bag. Then takes the towel that I borrowed and put it in the hamper. After that, he grabs the shower caddy and put it back where it belongs in his closet as well. “So, what do you want to watch? I have Netflix and Hulu along with DVDs. Your choice, you decide.”

I didn’t have Hulu, so I don’t know what they had on there and didn’t want to go through his DVDs and not pick something out of there. So, I picked Netflix because I had that. “Okay cool! Go sit on my bed and get comfy. Feel free to steal as many blankets from the foot of the bed. I have more in the closet if you want them.” He turns around turns on the Xbox and tv to set it up. He also grabs our ice cream from the fridge and puts them on his desk. As he does all of that, I claim two blankets for myself, feeling the need for extra cuddles and hoping that the extra blanket will help with that.

Minjae gets into bed next to me, putting me in between him and the wall. He hands me the controller to pick something. I am not sure what to watch, to be honest. I scroll around his Netflix account to see what is suggested to him and the types of things he watches. I see that he watches a little bit of everything, not really having one set genera. I end up picking Friends like always. My one go-to show when I have nothing else to do. I see that he already watched it, who hasn’t? I immediately go to season 3 and then to the episode that was called, The One with the Football. It was one of my favorites.

“You like Friends?” Minjae ask.

“Yeah, it is my favorite show. I always go to it if I have nothing else to watch,” I tell him.

“I love Friends. It never gets old, you know? Who is your favorite character? Mine is Chandler. His reactions to everything are the best.”

“I love his reactions. His jokes are amazing as well. I can’t decide between Joey and Rachel. I find Joey hilarious, but I love Rachel’s fashion sense and her love for clothes.”

“Are you a fashion major?”

“Yeah,” I laughed, “How did you know?” I ask sarcastically.

“I don’t know?”, he says, playing along. “I think it was your eyebrows,” he says jokingly.

“Damn, they are always telling people my secrets. I always tell them to shut their mouths, but they never listen.”

“Oh? It was a secret that you’re are a fashion major?”

“Oh, yeah. Huge secret. People can’t know I am one because then they will learn how great I am and will want me for all of themselves. I am saving myself for Rhianna.”

“Wow Rhianna. What a lucky lady she is going to be when she meets you. She won’t ever look less than 100% when you are there for her. Your secret is safe with me. Don’t worry, I will tell no one.”

“Thank you, kind sir.”

“Do you want your ice cream?”

“Yes please”

He hands me my ice cream and a spoon, and he gets his own as well. I start the episode and think to snap Jimin as well. I take a picture of my ice cream with Friends playing in the background. He replies back with him walking outside. It looks like he is headed by to the campus and probably has everyone with him as well. I don’t think too much about it, so I don't upset myself and turn my attention to the show.

I eat half of my ice cream, till I am over it and don’t want anymore. We are almost done with this episode. Minjae and I both laugh at some parts throughout the episode buts stay relatively quiet. When the episode is over, he takes my ice cream and throws it away along with his and gets back into bed. I lay down and get even cozier. We watch the next episode where Rachael quits the cafe. My eyes started to get heavy ten minutes into the episode, but I fight it off, trying not to be rude, but it was a losing battle. I stay awake ten more minutes before drifting off to sleep.


	11. Stay til sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: Ruin the friendship By: Demi Lovato 
> 
> Twitters: 
> 
> follow [ @sinfulcupcakee ](https://twitter.com/sinfulcupcakee). 
> 
> follow [ @_snowflake_love ](https://twitter.com/_snowflake_love).
> 
> Click [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/chandrapaulkelly/playlist/191f39OuKUPodGXv9yOins?si=qg6Dz7zuTMmUIHZ5PZyHSQ) for playlist.
> 
> Click [here](https://padlet.com/taeatemysoul/3jh84l3hqadj) to see character list.
> 
> Click [here](https://padlet.com/taeatemysoul/swq4ly9lcdl3) for visuals.

Jimin’s POV: 

“You’re weird” I said pushing Jungkook out of my way. We were at Jackson’s house again, having a party for Taehyung. However, Taehyung is nowhere to be seen. Jungkook and I have been hanging out a lot lately since that one night and it’s been fun. We also didn’t tell anyone; I mean they have noticed how close we have gotten but I am not sure that they think we hooked up or anything. Jungkook comes off as very innocent but he really isn’t. 

“Baby, everyone does it” he pouted, and I rolled my eyes. “Well I am not everyone and I said stop calling me baby,” I huffed. “You of all people haven’t hooked up in someone else’s bathroom? Why do I feel as though you are lying? Also, what should I call you instead then?” he asked, wrapping his arm around my waist. 

“I am not hooking up with you in the bathroom at Jackson’s house with everyone around. Call me Jimin, I mean that is my name you know,” I sarcastically said grinning. Jungkook scoffed, “We aren’t a secret. We aren’t even together, come on. I prefer baby, it makes you all flustered when I say it,” he chuckles. 

“So, you like seeing me flustered?” I asked and he smiled. “You’re cute when you’re flustered. It’s even cuter when I’m the one who makes you feel like that.” 

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop me from smiling, “I don’t like being called baby by someone who’s not my boyfriend. I also would prefer hooking up with my boyfriend in the bathroom rather than my friend's annoying roommate.” 

“Damn is that really all you see me as, but we can change that very quickly,” Jungkook grinned and I chuckled. “Keep on dreaming lover boy,” I said patting his shoulder before walking away towards the dance floor. “You don’t want to be my boyfriend?” 

“Drop it Kookie,” I mumbled, “Can we just dance, have fun, enjoy the party?”

“Okay okay fine, whatever you want baby, oops I mean Jimin,” Jungkook corrected himself while scrunching up his nose. This boy is really something. 

The night consisted of Jungkook and I dancing together or taking shots together. I didn’t really know where everyone was, I didn’t really want to be with anyone either. I liked being alone with Jungkook and learning more about him. 

I did spot Namjoon and Jin at one point. They were laughing about something, faces only inches away from each other, I didn’t look for too long to notice if they actually kissed. I doubt they did because they both are cowards. What ran through my mind was Taehyung and how he felt seeing them together. I’m worried that he’s ignoring his feelings and forcing himself to be okay. 

It was a few hours into the night when I received a call from Taehyung which was surprising because I’m not sure why he would call me if we were at the same party. I answered the voice and was met with someone who was definitely not Taehyung. 

Jungkook kept staring at me while I was on the phone. He seemed concerned as well. He mouthed to me who called, and I shrugged my shoulders not really understanding what was happening. I hung up the phone a few minutes later after speaking to some guy named Minjae and also Taehyung. 

“Tae left. He saw Namjoon and Seokjin together and it really upset him,” I explained to Jungkook, “He’s with some guy. I really hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Jungkook sighed, “I feel bad. He really liked Namjoon.”

I shrugged, “You can't help who you fall for. Things will work out how they are supposed to. I just want them both to be happy and not hurt.”

“Well, Namjoon seems happy,” Jungkook gestured over to Namjoon and Seokjin who were now sitting on the couch talking. They seemed comfortable and Namjoon has the biggest grin on his face. 

“You’re right he does. It’s now Taehyung we should worry about.”

“Yes, not right now though. For tonight let’s just worry about ourselves,” Jungkook said grabbing my hand pulling me back to the dance floor and I giggled. Sometimes his energy levels are way too high for me to be able to keep up with him. Especially with this much alcohol in my system. 

I think another hour had passed when the group decided to leave. Namjoon asked where Taehyung was but all I said was that he wasn’t feeling well so he left. Joon didn’t really question it. He was still wrapped up at the moment with Seokjin. I told him I’d be staying with Jungkook tonight and he waved me off once we got back to the dorm. 

I couldn’t wait to get into bed. Jungkook closed the door to his room and sighed. “What a night? I’m exhausted.” 

“Yeah, me too. It’s super weird that Taehyung isn’t back yet,” I mumbled looking at his side of the room. 

“I am sure he’s fine. He said he would snap you, didn’t he?”

“Yeah but he only sent one snap and I haven’t heard from him since”

“Maybe he fell asleep. Taehyung is a big boy he can handle himself Chim,” Jungkook tried comforting me. I couldn’t help but be worried. Taehyung pretends to be okay when he really isn’t. I don’t want him doing something he’s going to regret. I also don’t want someone he barely knows to take advantage of him. 

“Come on, let’s go to sleep. You can sleep in my bed if you want. I’ll sleep on the ground.”

“Jungkook you’re oblivious sometimes,” I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. “I’m not, I just don’t want to do something you’re not ready for.” 

“Aw so sweet, just shut up and kiss me already before I actually do decide to go to sleep.” 

Jungkook laughed again before pulling me closer to him. He tilted my head up and pressed his lips against mine. Finally, I wanted his lips on mine from the moment they left the last time we made out. 

We continued kissing as I pulled off my jacket and kicked off my shoes. Jungkook walked us backward to his desk where he sat down on the chair and pulled me down onto his lap. We kissed for a few minutes before pulling away. “I really really like you,” Jungkook whispered. I chuckled, “I really really like you too Kookie,” I said, connecting our lips together again. 

Namjoon’s pov: 

After the party we all walked back together. Yoongi and Hoseok were already all over each other, but what’s new. Jimin and Jungkook seemed to be having a goodnight. He had said something about staying with Tae and Kookie for the night, so I wasn’t against it. 

Seokjin and I walked next to each other, occasionally brushing shoulders or accidentally touching fingertips. Ever since the night he told me about his parents, we’ve gotten closer. The more we share with each other the more comfortable I feel. I’m scared, I won’t lie, what if I let him in only to be hurt all over again. I don’t think Seokjin would hurt me, but what if I hurt him. I’m prone to doing that, I’m the bad guy. 

Once we got to our hall, everyone went their separate ways. I told Seokjin he could come over if he wants and surprisingly or maybe it’s not surprising at all that he agrees. 

“I’m so tired and my head hurts,” Seokjin said, taking his shoes off and sitting on my bed. 

“Me too, I’m going to have the biggest hangover tomorrow. Why did you let me drink this much?”

“I let you drink that much? I don’t control you and you’re the one that kept offering shots.” 

“You were dumb enough to accept them.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes and laid back on my bed. I copied him, we laid with our backs pressed against the mattress. The overhead lights made my eyes hurt, so I closed them. 

“Thanks for tonight, Joon,” Seokjin mumbled, “I haven’t been feeling all that great and I needed this to cheer me up,” he continued.

“Anytime, Seokjin. Hanging out with you I guess can be fun.” 

He snorted, “You love spending time with me. You’re up my ass at this point.” 

“We just happened to have the same friend group; I can’t really escape you. Even if I wanted to, there’s no way.” 

It’s true, not just our friendship, but my feelings. Even if I wanted to escape them, I can’t. They’ve taken over me and the more I spend time with him, the more I heard him laugh or see him smile, it gets harder and harder. 

“Do you want to?” Seokjin asked. 

“No, I like being around you.”

“If that’s the case, can I spend the night here?” 

I was caught off guard by his question. “Yeah, you can stay here. Uh, I can sleep in Jimin’s bed.” 

“Okay, thanks. It's only because I know they’re fooling around in the common room and I don’t feel like being that person again who interrupts.” 

“It’s fine. Jimin is with Jungkook so just imagine what’s happening there.”

“Maybe they’re not doing anything. Jimin could have just wanted to hang out or something.”

I shrugged, “You’re right. So yeah, wanna watch a movie or something? We don’t have to if you don’t want to, we can just go to sleep. Yeah why don’t we do that? Ignore the movie suggestion.” 

Seokjin chuckled, “You know when you’re drunk you have a lot more confidence.”

“What?”

“You’re sobering up and you’re back to being your awkward nervous self around me.”

“It’s not because I’m around you, that’s just how I am, but I also don’t feel sober at all. I’m really trying to play it off.” 

“You did drink a bit too much. We don’t have to watch a movie, we can just go to sleep. It’s already super late.” 

“Okay,” I said, not arguing with that because I really needed sleep. Sleep sounds amazing. 

I closed my eyes and laid there and felt something poking me. “RM you said you’re sleeping in Jimin’s bed,” Seokjin said. I whined, “That means moving.” 

“You can stay here but if I accidentally push you off that is your own fault.”

We laid side by side staring at the ceiling. Our night was weird, we both were drunk and had a really good time with each other. Now here we are in my room and if I wasn’t coward, I’d tell him that I might have the slightest crush on him and hopefully by miracle Seokjin wouldn’t be a coward and actually feel the same way. There were moments that I thought he did, being too close to me, almost kissing me, sharing things I’m sure he doesn’t normally share with me, but then he gets cold and acts like we’re not even friends. 

I turned my body and faced him. He shifted closer to me and I wrapped my arm around his waist slightly pulling him in. 

“If we’re cuddling then we both will fall, so be careful,” I said quietly, and he replied by bringing his hand up to my neck. Slightly running his fingers up and down.  
I moved closer to him, Seokjin threw his one leg over me. I grabbed his thigh, running my hands up and down. Seokjin liked it, I can see it his face. He’s trying so hard to act like it’s not affecting him. However, it wasn’t only the face that gave it away. 

He gripped my hair a little tugging it slightly. My eyes shot up, meeting his. We didn’t say anything but continued. I leaned forward, our lips a few inches apart. Seokjin presses his hips against mine. Holy shit, if I wasn’t hard before I definitely am now. I thrust into him and he bit his lips, closing his eyes. He’s so pretty. 

Seokjin grind back down on me. His hips moved in slow circles against mine. His neck was exposed, I leaned forward and pressed my lips ever so slightly, holy shit I just wanted to - Seokjin released a small gasp when I bit down. “Fuck, Namjoon,” he moaned, and it aroused me even more. I continued kissing his neck and began unbuttoning his shirt leaving kisses down his chest. 

“Y-You’re drunk Joon,” Seokjin breathes out. He pushes me back, I stopped moving, “-and it doesn’t matter whether you remember anything or not. You’re drunk and when you’re drunk you do and say things you don’t mean. I’m drunk and when I’m drunk, I usually don’t care but I do this time. We can't do this. I'm sorry.” 

I let go of him and sat up, both of us sporting boners, evidence of what just happened. 

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” I said. 

“No, you didn’t, Namjoon. Really it felt good, but we’re drunk we can’t do this. We would never if we were sober, you know that.”

Oh. Yeah, I knew that. 

“You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. Sorry, let’s just forget it.” 

“Yeah, and I’m not upset okay? Don’t feel bad. I wanted it too. Don’t go blaming yourself. I know how you get,” he reassured me, and I nodded, “Okay.” 

“I should go, have a nice break if I don’t get to see you before you leave and good luck on finals,” he said getting off the bed. 

“Yeah you too, see you around,” I smiled. He opened my door and left. I dropped down onto my pillow and groaned. What the fuck Namjoon? 

Taehyung’s POV:  
I wake up in the morning from a door opening and closing. That must be Jimin. He probably just came back from his dance practice. That boy never stops, even on the weekends. He should really learn to relax a bit. I will teach him my ways soon enough. Sleep a lot and sleep some more.

I am nice and warm using Namjoon’s chest as a pillow. I am still tired and decided to drift back to sleep. I rub my head against his chest and move my body to get into a more comfortable position. That is when it hits me. Something is different. I don’t know what it is, but something was off. I laid still without opening my eyes trying to figure it out. I don’t know why it is bothering me so much right now. It is probably nothing and I just need to go back to sleep, but my mind won’t let it go. What is it? I take a big breath and then I realize, Namjoon smells different. Did he change his detergent maybe? Did he also lose some weight? He must be stressed. I will make him eat some food before he wastes away. I also did not realize how soft his bed is. I always thought his bed was firmer than this. That is when it hit me. My brain was telling me that there was not one thing wrong, but many things wrong. 

Memories from last night suddenly invade my mind and I remember what happened. Wait! Who am I sleeping on right now? This is definitely not Namjoon. My eyes shot open and there is a guy standing on the other side of the room looking at me. He lifts his hand and waves at me hesitantly. I wave back as well. I don’t want to be rude. He seems very confused about my presence. I am confused about my presence as well.

I slowly get up in a sitting position, so I don’t wake Minjae up, but he wakes up anyway. When he sees me sitting up, he smiles and stretches. “Good morning,” his voice was thick with sleep. He looks over to the other side and he just realized that there is a guy still standing there confused to what is happening. “Oh, hey Bogum! How did the project go last night? Did you finish it?” That must be his roommate then. It makes sense. It would be terrifying if it was some random guy just standing there watching us sleep. It also explains the confusion on his face a little bit.

“Um, yeah,” shaking his head, probably trying to push his confusion aside. “It is all done. It took forever. After you left, we probably worked on it for another two hours. My brain was so fried and tired we just crashed. We just need to go through the PowerPoint one more time to make sure we know what we are saying along makes sure there is no grammar that needs to be corrected.” He shoots me a look and looks back to Minjae, waiting for him why I was there.

“Oh, yeah! Sorry, this is Tae and Tae this is Bogum, my roommate.”

“Hello,” I say.

“Hi, nice to meet you. Sorry if I creeped you out this morning. I was not expecting to see one of Minjae’s hookups. He usually lets me know when he has someone over.” My face turned beat red. Is that what he thought I was?

“Oh my god! We didn’t hook up! I met Tae right after I left you guys to head back to the dorm. He had a rough night and didn’t have any friends to keep him company, so I brought him here. We watched Friends and ate ice cream and fell asleep. That is it,” Minjae quickly defending himself.

“Oooohh, so you played mother again. That makes sense,” Bogum says jokingly. I guess it is an inside joke that the two had. “You are so nice,” he said in a voice that sounded like he was praising a little kid.

“Will you shut up,” clearly embarrassed for being called out. “You better be appreciative. If I was not nice, we would have not met, and you would still be sitting in the bathroom on move in day freshman year.” The two clearly were very close and it looks like they met on the first day of college.

“Tae don’t listen to him. I am a manly man. I do not cry.”

“Oh, okay. Should we watch the Notebook again? Or how about the Titanic? Oh, I know what’s even better! How about we watch the last episode of Vampire Diaries?”

“I mean, who doesn’t cry at the Notebook?” I speak up.

“Thank you! See? He knows! That shit is sad as fuck! You just don’t have emotions Satan.”

“I cried the first time I saw it, but not every time I watch it. You cry like you never have seen it before every time you see it.”

“You know what? Whatever, it is sad, and you are soulless. End of story. I am going to take a shower. Do you want to get some food when I get back?” he asks as he gets his shower stuff together.

“Yeah sure, sounds good. Do you want to come as well? We just go to the dining hall in hopes that they have French toast sticks, which usually don’t, but we pray. You don’t have to, and you can go back to your dorm if you want.”

“Umm..sure. I would love to go.” They are super nice, and I find it really nice to be around different people. It is kind of refreshing not to have to deal with the bullshit I have been having to put up with lately with my friends. They seem super chill and just hanging out. I am using them to not face my issues? Totally, but I just need a break from it, and I am starving.

“Great! He takes forever, so don’t worry about getting up right away.”

“Will you stop telling him lies about me?”

“They are not lies. They are cold hard facts.”

“Lies, LIES, I SAY!” Bogum shouts and walks out of the room to go take a shower.

“He really does take a while. He just likes to live in denial.” I laughed; they really did make good friends. “Text Jimin and let him know you are okay. I will find something for you to wear. We are not going to get to dress up. Probably just sweatpants. Does that work for you?”

“Oh, sure. I feel bad. I am using all of your stuff. Maybe I should just wear my clothes from last night.” He has been overly nice to me. I didn’t want to overstep. 

“Those are still wet though. It will be fine. Don’t worry about it,” he smiled at me and went to go get the clothes.

I opened my phone to text Jimin.

Tae: Hey, Good morning. 

Chimmy: Good morning. How are you feeling?

Tae: Fine, a little hungry.

Chimmy: You worried me last night…

Tae: I know, I am sorry.

Chimmy: When are you coming back?

Tae: Not sure. I am going to have breakfast with Minjae and his roommate. 

“Hey, here you go. How is Jimin doing?” Minjae interrupts my conversation with Jimin.

“He is okay. Still worried,” I reply.

“Does he want to join us as well? I mean if you want him there. I don’t want you to force you to invite someone that you need a break from. I was just thinking that if he says you were doing okay, he won’t worry as much,” Minjae explained to me. I mean he made a lot of sense. I guess it is a good idea. So, I agreed and went to text Jimin.

Tae: Hey, Minjae wants to know if you want to come with us.

Chimmy: Do you want me to come?

Tae: I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to.

Chimmy: Okay sure. When do you plan on going? 

Tae: Umm ...well his roommate is taking a shower. He might take a while. I will let you know when we leave.

Chimmy: Okay, sounds good. Can we talk after breakfast tho? Go for a walk around campus? Nobody is around and it is a nice day out.

Tae: You know I don’t like walking.

Chimmy: I know, but you can’t run from your problems. If you at least tell me what is going on, we can figure out a solution.

Tae: I really don’t want to but fine.

Chimmy: I know you don’t, but you can’t lock your problems up. It is not good for you. It will be fine. You have me. I am not going anywhere.

Tae: But you like Jungkook and he is gross.

Chimmy: He is not gross.

Tae: Okay he is not gross. He is annoying.

Chimmy: sigh. Text me when you leave.

When I looked up, Minjae already changed into his sweats and was tidying up, I guess. The room wasn’t a mess, so I don’t exactly know what he is doing. “Is Jimin coming?” 

“Yeah, I just have to text him when we leave, and he will meet us there.”

“Okay great! I am going to put a load of laundry in and I will be right back.”

“Okay,” I reply, and he leaves the room. I quickly change into sweats he gave me and go through twitter and Instagram. When he comes back, he joins me back on his bed and we are just lying there on our phones waiting for his roommate to come back. He really does take forever. Bogum comes back in five minutes later.

“Took you forever. Did you go to Canada to take a shower?” Minjae asks him.

“You know I only use the best water. I can’t use peasant water. It will ruin my skin,” Bogum throws his towel on his bed like it is disgusting.

“Oh my god. You really are shameless. Can we go now? My stomach is going to start eating my body if I don't feed it soon,” Minjae ask, not being able to take any more of his roommate’s shit.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.” I text Jimin that we are leaving, and we head out the door. There are a few students milling about. The majority are either heading to or from the dining hall. When we get there, Jimin is waiting at the entrance for us. When he sees me, he breaks out into a smile and gives me a tight hug. I just laugh and play it off. I notice he has a couple of hickeys on the left side of his neck. I guess he had fun last night.

“Hey, this is Jimin, my sweet, little, muscular friend and Jimin this Minjae, who you were playing detective with on the phone last night.” Jimin gives me an offended look and slaps my arm hard as payback for calling him a little. “This is also Bogum, Minjae’s roommate who takes really long showers in Canada,” Minjae laughs out loud at the burn.

“Omg, I don’t take long showers. I just like to take my time, okay?” Jimin laughs along with Minjae and me. “Okay, whatever makes you sleep at night. Let’s get some food,” I say, and we walk in. We go grab food, sadly, to Minjae and Bogum’s disappointment, there are no French toast sticks. 

We gather around the table and sit there eating and getting to know each other. Minjae is from Portland, Maine, which is the state's biggest city, and Bogum is from a small city in Massachusetts called Haverhill. As I guessed, they became friends on the first day of college of their freshman year, which was last year. Minjae saw Bogum crying in the bathroom and freaking out because he was all alone and didn’t know anyone. I also guess his roommate was super weird and scary, which was the part that pushed him over the edge. They started to hang out a lot after that and they became inseparable.

We got done eating and we were about to go our separate ways so I can have the dreaded talk with Jimin when I realized that I was wearing Minjae’s clothes. “Wait! How am I going to get your clothes back to you?”

“Oh, yeah, didn’t think of that. Um, here give me your phone.” He reaches out his hand waiting for me to give him my phone, which I do and starts typing something into my phone. “I will put my number in and when we hang out again you can bring them with you,” he says and hands me back my phone. I saw with my phone he sent himself a purple heart so he could have my phone number as well.

“Oh, okay! I will see you guys around. Thanks for everything!”

“Talk to you soon,” Minjae says with a wave of goodbye and turns around to walk away with Bogum in tow.

“Huh,” Jimin says.

“What?” I ask. He just stares at me with a little bit of surprise and ends up just shaking his head and saying, “It’s nothing”. We leave and walk to a bench that is away from people and we sit down looking at the plants and birds around us.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened last night?” Jimin asked after a few moments of just sitting there.

“What part?” I ask trying to get out of it.

“All of it would be great.”

“I don’t feel like talking about all of it. That will take forever.” I really didn’t want to talk about it. I am not used to it and I just rather pretend it never happened in the first place.

“Well, too bad, so sad. Now stop bitching and start talking,” he crosses his arms and gets comfortable like he is planning to sit there all day.

“Okay, fine.” I take a deep breath and start talking. “So, we went to a party.” Jimin nodded. “Aaaand I planned on having a good time. I was determined to push the sadness I have felt lately away and not ruin the night. I didn’t go there to get wasted, just a little bit of drunk and have a great time with my friends. And I was doing that. We were doing that. Until we weren’t, you and Jungkook were busy being weird, Hobi and Yoongi were somewhere hooking up, and Namjoon was all over Jin.” I took a deep breath and blew it out. He just keeps nodding to show that he is listening but doesn’t interrupt.

“So, I got bored of just standing around and I had no one else to hang out with. I went to the kitchen and spoke with Jackson and Youngjae for a little bit and then decided to leave especially after seeing Namjoon seconds away from kissing Jin. Seeing that well, it just brought all the negative thoughts in my head that I was trying to suppress. I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I left. I want to support him and be a great friend to him, but I couldn’t, and it is hard for me to be there for him. I still love him and don’t know why he doesn’t like me back. I was there for him through so much and it feels like he just dumped in the trashcan when it got more than what he expected. Yeah, we talked it out, but my feelings for him don’t magically go away because he decided that he doesn’t feel the same. I couldn’t deal with the sadness and the negative thoughts and didn’t want to ruin anyone's fun with my bullshit. I needed the time alone and when I got to the dorm, I ran into Minjae. Like literally ran into him. I didn’t think I looked that bad, just a little tired, but he stopped me asking if I was okay. I tried to dodge him so I could go take a shower and sleep, but he wouldn’t let me go till he knew I was okay. When he asked if I had friends around to make sure that I was okay, the dark thoughts filled my head again and I broke down in front of him. After that, he decided to bring me back to his place and he called you. We got ice cream and he made me take a shower and I fell asleep while watching friends. That’s everything.” I take a deep breath and let it out.

“Look, I have several things to say and the first being that I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn’t notice that you left. I feel so bad because something could have happened to you. You were lucky that Minjae is not a pervy asshole and is an actual genuine person that really was there to help you. That being said, you need to tell me or someone when you leave a party or where ever. Your safety is important to all of us, even Namjoon. That brings me to my third point. Namjoon does care about you, but he is going through his own shit right now. You are his best friend, that still has not changed, but how he treated you and took his confusion out on you is awful. You can’t nor he can’t expect your feelings to just go away. It will take time and healing to get through this. The fourth and last thing is, don’t close up on yourself. Come talk to me if you need to. Don’t let the dark thoughts in your head run your life. When you get them out, it takes the power they have on you away. It allows you to free yourself a little and release some of the negativity. Okay? So, what are you going to do when we go to parties?”

“Tell you when I leave and where I am going,” I say in a monotone voice like kids use when they get a lecture at by their parents.

“Exactly,” and he gives me a big hug, staying like that.

“So... are you going to tell me where you got that hickey from?” Jimin immediately stiffened up.

“Um, nowhere! Mind your own business.” and immediately covers it with his hand.

“Oh, come on. I just opened up to you, you can at least tell me who got your dick wet last night.”

“Oh my god. This is different and none of your business.”

“Why, was he ugly?”

“No, he was no ugly. Can we not talk about this?” 

“Are you just saying that they were cute, so you don’t feel judged that you have a thing for ugly men? Because I won’t judge. Ugly men need to get laid too.”

Shocked was written all over his face and he started to hit me. “Will you shut the fuck up! What is wrong with you?” I laugh and run away from his assault on me. I slow down to a walk because it is too early in the afternoon to be running and Jimin catches up to me to take my hand and walk back to the dorm.


	12. Boyish look I like in a man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: I think he knows By: Taylor Swift 
> 
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Jin’s POV:  
Christmas was lonely. Christmas has always been lonely for years. Even in a room filled with people, after a certain age, it’s just not the same anymore. I have spent every Christmas with Hoseok since the year he was born but other than that, Christmas is so fucking lonely. So lonely that I can’t help but wonder about Namjoon and what he is doing and if he thought about me as much as I thought about him. Thank goodness Christmas was over. 

I spent most of my break trying to talk myself out of whatever these feelings for him were. I do not want this or at least I have forced myself to think I do not want this because I am scared. Oh fuck, I am scared shitless. I can’t let someone in. I can’t let someone find out my secrets. I can’t let someone into my fucked-up life. They will leave. He will leave. Namjoon will leave. 

Everyone leaves. 

I want him to stay. I want him to sit with me, in sweet comforting silence because just his presence is enough. I want him to hold my head and rub his thumb on the back of my hand. I want him to lay with me, arms holding me, listening to me sing off pitch and the wrong lyrics to random songs. I want him to dance around with me and not have a care in the world. 

I want him. I want him. For once, I want someone. 

We don’t let people in, Seokjin. We do not and will not let him in. I have made up my mind. The answer is no. Absolutely not. Never going to happen. 

___

My cell phone rang, a picture of Namjoon popped up along with his name, Namjoonie. I stared at it and looked back up at Hoseok who was smirking. “Don’t ignore it because of me.” 

I gulped. “Hey,” I said answering the phone. 

N: Hey, you busy?

S: Sort of, can we talk later?

N: Yeah, we can FaceTime tonight.

S: Huh, it’s been a week and you already miss my face. 

N: I never said that. Jumping to conclusions is a really bad personality trait. 

S: Shut up. Anyways yeah, we can talk later. 

I hung up the phone and Hoseok grinned at me. “So, what exactly is going on?” 

“Really? How many times do I have to say nothing?” 

“It just doesn’t seem like nothing, that night after you were upset. Namjoon left, he said he had work, but I’ve heard other stories too.”

“What is the whole campus watching me and Namjoon?”

“Maybe, you know I know a lot of people. People would tell me if they saw you wearing his sweater in the library around the time he’s working.”

“You know about his sweater. That’s not a secret,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Does he know that you jerked off thinking about him while wearing nothing but his sweater?” 

“Shut up, we don’t talk about that. It was a very low moment for me.” 

“Look, all I’m saying is from the things Taehyung said, Namjoon doesn’t act that way towards a person unless they’re Taehyung himself or a person he’s interested in.” 

“We’re just friends. I finally got to the friend stage with him. I like it like this.” 

“You guys shamelessly flirt, and you think this is a normal friendship?” 

“What am I supposed to think? Namjoon has never said he likes me; I gave him what I thought were good hints and he hasn’t said anything back.”

“Namjoon is smart enough to know you’re talking about him, but such a coward to pretend it’s not and you know that.”

I shrugged and continued our puzzle that we started because we were bored out of our minds. Yoongi is busy working all break so he and Hoseok aren’t planning to meet up this year. I don’t have anyone else to hang out in our hometown. Maybe this is why best friends go to different colleges? So, on break, there’s a little more excitement seeing each other. 

“This piece doesn’t fit,” Hobi groaned. “Turn it around dipshit,” I said. “Oh! It worked!” Hobi grinned and grabbed another piece trying to figure out where it went. 

“Maybe after the break, I can do something to make it obvious, or I can just ask him.” 

“Good plan, also, never really had the chance to ask and talk to you about this but at Tae’s party, did you guys kiss?”

“What? No of course not. I was drunk but not that drunk. Namjoon gets touchy when he’s drunk. That's why we were so close, and I took advantage of it. But we didn’t kiss. We didn’t do anything, except maybe grinding on each other.” 

“Like while dancing? We saw.”

“No, like in a bed. The whole me moaning and gripping his hair,” I told Hobi and didn’t make eye contact.

“Shit, Seokjin! And you're telling me he doesn’t like you!”

“He was drunk! He didn’t know what he was doing!”

“You’re finding an excuse. Did you guys talk about it after?”

“Yeah, we saw each other and apologized.”

“Apologized? For making each other’s dick wet? Have you not learned anything from me?” 

“What was I supposed to do?” I said all flustered, “Get dicked down and then we never speak again? What if I want it to be for more than just a one and done thing?” 

“You won’t ever get there if you don’t start somewhere. You claim you want a boyfriend, but you don’t do anything to get a boyfriend.”

I sighed, he’s right, but I don’t want to move too fast and scare Namjoon away. We both know we have issues when it comes to relationships and commitment and just love itself. 

—  
Later that night, I laid in bed watching TV when my phone rang. This time it was a FaceTime call.

S: Hey…

I grinned, seeing Namjoon on the screen. His hair was wet, he probably just got out the shower. 

N: Hey.

He smiled back at me

N: How was your day? 

S: I spent all day doing a 1000-piece puzzle only to find out that I’m actually missing two pieces. So, I did a 998-piece puzzle with Hoseok. 

N: Sounds fun, I haven’t built a puzzle in a while. 

S: I used to do them a lot but not so much anymore. How was Christmas? 

N: Really good. My family came, and we did our normal Christmas celebration of games and making cookies. You know the whole nine yards. 

Namjoon stopped talking and I nodded.

N: But I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time. 

S: What?

My heart is going to explode. 

N: I mean, uh because you know your parents weren’t home 

Namjoon scratched his head and looked away from the screen awkwardly. 

S: Hmm, well I thought about you too but only because I actually wanted to think about you. 

N: I obviously wanted to think about you Seokjin, or I wouldn’t have thought about you.

He said rolling his eyes. 

S: You only thought about me because you felt bad.

I pouted; I hate when people feel sorry for me. 

N: Sometimes or other times I just thought about you and wished you were here.

I laughed, S: Not to ruin the moment but who would have ever thought that RA RM would miss me? 

N: Shut up, I'm never doing anything nice for you again and I now won’t ever say I miss you 

S: You know I miss you too Namjoonie. 

N: Why would I know you miss me without you saying you miss me. I, unlike you, don’t jump to conclusions. 

S: Because I don’t know, we’re friends now and friends miss each other? I weirdly miss Jungkook even though we don’t speak much. 

I changed the topic because I can’t handle knowing why he misses me and why I miss him. 

N: I miss Tae, but he’s been busy all break. You didn’t hear this from me, but I think he’s talking to someone. He has that weird look in his eye. 

S: Oh, the one that he has when he looks at you because he’s in love with you? 

N: Shush, Sorta, but different, he said he couldn’t talk to me because he was waiting for his friend to call him, but I didn’t think Taehyung has other friends like that besides me or well now our group. 

S: Aw is someone jealous that they’re not someone’s crush anymore? 

N: No, I’m happy for him. Also, I’m sure there are other people who have a crush on me. Right? 

S: How would I know? I highly doubt that. Who would like you? 

N: Asshole. 

S: Jerk. 

N: So mature. 

S: You started it. 

N: Whatever.

Namjoon pouted and look away from the screen. His phone got tilted down a little. He didn’t have a shirt on, and I could see his chest. He focused more on whatever he was looking at. I think he noticed me staring and his eyes shot back to the screen. 

N: Hey Seokjin, I think you’re drooling. 

I blinked, S: You wish. 

N: Maybe I do. 

S: Maybe you want me to be drooling over you? That’s more a you thing. 

N: I don’t drool over you. 

S: You stare at me all the time and I ignore it because well I like it when you watch me. 

N: You are very handsome, what do you expect?

S: Nothing less.

Namjoon chuckled and I grinned looking back at him, S: You look cute. 

N: Tell me something I don’t know. 

I like you. Or maybe you do know. 

S: I told Hobi about after Tae’s party and he’s upset we didn’t do anything. 

N: Oh, well we were drunk and that would just have made things awkward.

S: Yeah exactly, but if we’re being honest. Part of me wishes we continued.

N: Hmm, you’re not the only one 

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know if he meant himself or if he meant Hoseok. 

S: I should go to sleep; we can talk some other time. 

N: Wait, me too, I wanted to continue too. Not sure if that was clear.

S: Oh, uh, yeah it was. 

N: Okay then, goodnight. 

S: Goodnight. 

I hung up and groaned. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore what was happening in my pants and push away the thoughts of Namjoon fucking me. 

Go to sleep, it’ll never happen. Friends don’t do that. 

Taehyung’s POV:

I am so bored right now. There is nothing to do. We have been on winter break for two weeks and I am over doing nothing, but I can’t do anything because we are in the middle of a snowstorm and the roads are closed till further notice. So now I am laying on my couch staring at the ceiling while the tv plays something. I think it is one of the housewives shows because it is just a bunch of old women screaming at each other constantly. I haven’t been paying attention to it for the past hour. 

My family is doing their own things that are boring and not exciting. I don’t feel like talking to Namjoon, but we have been talking. We are actually doing a lot better than before. We had a few awkward texts at the beginning of the break, but once we got over ourselves. We started to talk like we used to. Then we would facetime each other a couple of times a week. I am super glad that we are back to normal. I doubt we are totally out of the woods, but it is definitely a lot better than it was. 

Everyone else is busy too talk to. Jimin is practicing and his mom is strict about his practicing. Then Hobi has not felt like talking lately and just been doing his own thing. I hope he is doing well. I think he gets depressed when Yoongi is not around all the time like he is at college. God knows that I won't talk to Jungkook even if he was the last person on earth. Jin and I don’t really talk unless we are in person. It is not that we don’t get along, I just find it weird and I am slightly jealous that Namjoon likes him. I have to get over myself though because Namjoon is just my friend and I have to respect that. It just hurts you know?

I am finally twenty-one which is exciting, I guess. I can legally drink now. It’s not like I haven’t been doing that since high school but now the police won’t yell at me for it. Just the little perks that you get when you grow up, but sometimes it is not worth all the responsibilities. I don’t know how mom and dad do it. My birthday wasn’t crazy or anything at all. Namjoon made me his usual birthday post, which almost made me cry. My family had cake and mom made me my favorite dishes, then I opened presents were pretty much gift cards and cash. My family knows I am picky, so they found that if they give me money, it leaves everyone happy. My grandma though has this thing where she loves to give me an ugly set of pajamas. The ones that you find at Walmart or Target that are super cheap and never fit right and get worn out super-fast. Yeah, I hate them, but we came to the agreement that I kindly accept it and then go donate them the next day.

In the midst of my boredom the phone on my chest buzzed. I checked to see who it was and was surprised to see it was Minjae. We haven’t talked since the day I went to breakfast with them. I left to go home a few days after that party so there was really no chance too. He found me on Instagram and we both started following each other and liking each other posts. I opened up my phone to see what he said. 

Minjae: Hey, how have you been?

Mmmm, interesting. Well, I am not bored anymore. Thank you, God, for helping your kid out.

Tae: I have been good. I am super bored right now. My town is getting hammered with snow and so there is nothing to do. 

Minjae: :( Oh no, That sucks. We have a few inches where I am at but nothing too bad.

Tae: Lucky you, I am over watching tv at this point. How have you been? Was your Christmas good?

Minjae: lol I have been good. My sister wanted to go shopping, so I went with her. They have sales since Christmas is over, so we found some good bargains. Bogum should be coming here in two days. I am so excited! I haven’t seen him forever. Christmas was good too. I ate way too much food.

Tae: Christmas food is delicious. It is the holiest food of the year. I need to go shopping for sales. My clothes collection is suffering and needs new vibes on it. Bogum is coming? That should be fun! I wish that one of my friends could come to my place to hang out. I was supposed to go to Namjoon’s, but things got in the way.

Minjae: Aww I am sorry that you are lonely. You can text me all the time if you are lonely. I don’t want you to be bored and alone. Who is Namjoon?

Tae: You are so nice to me :) :) I am not totally alone. I talk to Jimin as much as I can. He is busy tho. He always has to practice dance or at work when he is home. Namjoon is my best friend. We met freshman year. He is the only reason I passed geography.

Minjae: Oh, really? I thought you and Jimin were best friends. You guys seemed really close. How did you and Jimin meet?

Tae: Yeah, I guess you can say that me and Jimin are close. We met when he became Namjoon’s roommate and he was new, so we adopted him in. Before we knew it, he was part of our group. Our group use to be just me and Namjoon, but it recently grew somehow this year. Jimin wasn’t the only one added.

M: wait, so Namjoon is your best friend? How come you haven't talked about him then?

T: We were going through something not that long ago and Jimin has been a major help for us. He made us see that we need to get our heads out of asses. The powers of Jimin. He is really nice but will tell you straight up if you fucked up.

Minjae: I am sorry to hear that. If you ever need to talk about it, I am here for you. Not going to lie, I thought Jimin was your boyfriend or something for a minute.

Tae: Really?!?! LMAO, nah Jimin likes our other friend Jungkook. We just found out they finally are hooking up. You know the hickey on Jimin when we went to breakfast? Yeah that was from Jungkook. I hope that they last because Jimin really likes him. Thanks for offering, I think we just need time and we will be okay. Not to be rude because I am so glad you did what you did but why did you help me out that night? You could have easily just ignored me and went to bed.

It took him some time to respond. While I waited for him to get back to me, I went to grab some cold pizza from last night’s dinner and water because I am healthy. I also flipped through the TV channels to find something to watch. I just stop at a shopping channel and watched them try to sell an ugly shirt.

Minjae: um, well you were upset, and I wanted to help if I could...I don’t like to leave people hurting if I can help it. I am glad that we met tho. 

Tae: I am glad we met too. You are really a great guy. I need someone out of my group that I can hang out with and talk too.

Minjae: random question and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to, but are you seeing anyone?

That was random and it brought all of the pain that I was holding in from Namjoon. I could have had a boyfriend if the said boy had any feelings for me whatsoever. I really didn’t want to scare him away with the whole drama with me being in love with my best friend which was also friends with benefits relationship. He is going to think I am crazy and have no morals and that I am just complicated in general. Who wants to hang out with a complicated person unless you are a therapist? Even then you have to pay them to sit and listen to your problems. Yeah, I will keep it simple. The less he knows, the better.

Tae: I don’t, I recently confessed to my crush and he friend-zoned me hard. Granted I might have not handled it the best way I could have but I think we will be okay.

Minjae: I am sorry to hear that; you will be fine. You’ll find someone that deserves you. What is your sexuality, if you don’t mind me asking?

Tae: I am a fashionable gay, you?

Minjae: lol, I am just an ordinary bi.

Tae: What do you mean an ordinary bi? You are a cute bi. Don’t call yourself ordinary.

Minjae: skjskskjks um okay I won’t… thanks.

Tae: you better be changing your tinder description to that.

Minjae: WAIT? How do you know I have Tinder???

Tae: What college student does not have Tinder?

Minjae: Okay, true. You are speaking facts.

Tae: Honey, I only speak facts. The faster you learn that the longer we will be friends.

Minjae: okay duly noted

It was such fun talking to Minjae. He could relax and not worry about anything, just be himself. Minjae didn’t judge him for being himself and accepted him for who he was without comment.

I know that I can be a lot for someone to handle and it wears people out for a while, so I hope that Minjae will be able to deal with my antics. I had a lot of people not be able to deal with me, hint the limited friends I have, and I didn’t really care but I for some reason cared if Minjae will stay. Maybe it was because Minjae helped me out and took care of me when they didn’t even know each other.

I should go shopping and find something for Minjae as a thank you for taking care of me. What would he like? He definitely had plenty of blankets. He likes the Beatles based on his posters. I should have gone through his wardrobe when he was sleeping. I think I just need to go and look around and it will just pop out at me.

The next day, I woke up at nine and quickly got myself ready. I didn’t feel like going all out with my outfit because one, I am on break and two, it was fucking cold outside with two more feet of snow sitting outside. So, I put on all black. Black sweater, black pants, black socks, black boots, black gloves, and black puffy winter coat. The only thing that wasn’t black was my bright pink hat that kept my head warm and toasty.

I decided to not eat breakfast at home and would stop at Starbucks for food and coffee instead. I was really craving a peppermint mocha and maybe a bagel. Not positive yet but we will figure it out. I drive and go inside to sit down and eat because I have about a half an hour till the mall actually opened. I picked a seat next to the window and took a picture of it and put it on Instagram with the caption Wish I had someone to enjoy this moment with//warm hearts make the cold days seem not that cold.

I eat and listen to music while flurries of snow fell gracefully from the sky. It really was pretty outside. Just sitting here makes me realize how much I have been worrying about everything and everybody. I didn’t realize how much stress I put on myself. I really need to find a way to not be so stressed out anymore. I need to trust that Namjoon and I will be okay. We know where we stand now. I just need to let him go and I am. It sucks but I am letting him go. 

I am just worried that I will be the one to be left behind. In the end, lost, stuck in the past. Namjoon already is moving on with Jin. Soon he will be dating someone, if not Jin, and I will be the best friend who will forever be in love with his best friend, who never really moves on. I don’t want to be that person. That person is sad as fuck and no one needs that life. I definitely don't need that. I just feel like I am going along with everything and have no clue where I am going. I really wish someone would just tell me that everything will be okay and help me through this.

Why am I so depressing in the morning? I should be going to the mall and see if I can find anything decent. I still don’t know what I am going to get Minjae. 

When I arrive at the mall, there are old ladies milling around with a few college students here and there who are still on winter break. I start going through stores looking at everything they have. I even went to a cooking section looking at waffle makers, debating if I should but one. I decided against it because it would be weird to get someone you just met a waffle maker. Should I go to Spencer’s and get him a dildo? I mean, all I know about his sex life is that he is bi. Wonder if he just always tops. My mind was immediately filled with images that were definitely ‘x rated’. Yep let’s not go that route right now.

It has been almost three hours; I still have no idea to get him. I sit on a bench to take a little break and look through my social media. The picture that I posted on Instagram got fifty likes. I go through the comments to what people have to say. It was mostly people saying, ‘so pretty’ and stuff. Jungkook told me I should take a photography class with him next semester, which I just simply replied ‘no’ to and moved on. 

Then I came to a comment the Minjae wrote. It said, “I lost my scarf, can you keep me warm instead?” with a winky face. Omg, wait is he serious or is he joking. What if he is not joking though? But it is way too good to be true. Like, don’t mess with me right now. I have been through so much and now he just wants to walk in and save me from the torture I have suffered? I shouldn’t do it, but he is clearly offering it in front of my face. You know what? Fuck life, fuck me, fuck everything, I am just going to go for it and if it doesn’t work out, he can shove his new scarf up his ass.

With that I stood up and walked to Macy’s and went to the scarf section. I looked through all the scarfs and slowly deciding with should be my next purchase. I end up deciding to get a knitted one that is black, white, and red and has different patterns around it all sewn together. 

I can't wait to give it to him. I hope it is a nice replacement for the scarf that he lost. I would hate to disappoint. He seemed like he really liked his old one. I go buy it along with a cute bag to put it in and then head back home to take a nap on the couch and watch more people bitch at each other on TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon and Seokjin are both IDIOTS -- do you agree? 
> 
> How do you feel about Minjae?


	13. If you love me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning**** This may hurt. 
> 
> Song Recommendation: Lie to me By: 5 Seconds of Summer
> 
> Twitters: 
> 
> follow [ @sinfulcupcakee ](https://twitter.com/sinfulcupcakee). 
> 
> follow [ @_snowflake_love ](https://twitter.com/_snowflake_love).
> 
> Click [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/chandrapaulkelly/playlist/191f39OuKUPodGXv9yOins?si=qg6Dz7zuTMmUIHZ5PZyHSQ) for playlist.
> 
> Click [here](https://padlet.com/taeatemysoul/3jh84l3hqadj) to see character list.
> 
> Click [here](https://padlet.com/taeatemysoul/swq4ly9lcdl3) for visuals.

Yoongi’s POV:

To say that Hobi made my days brighter would be an understatement. Hobi lights up any room he’s in and that’s something that has always intrigued me about him. You couldn’t avoid the man, you couldn’t hate him. That’s why that night at the bar as much as I wanted to walk out of the bathroom, I couldn’t. I wanted to hear him ramble about god knows what. The words he said didn’t matter, screw the sex we had, none of that was important. Being around him just made me feel better, happier. 

That’s scary. 

He was a stranger. I don’t let people make me happy. I make myself happy. 

———  
*FLASHBACK*

“It's raining, I'm not going outside.”

“That’s the point in playing in the rain yoongs.”

“I don’t like playing in the rain, how old are we again to be playing in the rain?” 

Hobi pouted and folded his arms, “You said you’d do anything for me.”

“I said that while I sucked your dick Hoseok, I was in a vulnerable position.” 

Hobi scoffed, “Fine, I’ll go outside alone,” he grabbed his jacket and headed out. I rolled my eyes and followed him, even if I didn’t want to get soaked and possibly catch a cold, I do love watching my boyfriend act stupid. 

I stood by the door of the building trying not to get wet. I watched hobi run around and scream. “You look like a dumbass, you know that right?” 

“Join me, it’s not as fun running around alone,” Hobi said walking up to me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards his chest.

“Stop, I don’t want to get wet! I’ll get sick!”

“You won’t get sick, come on Yoongs, please?” 

I didn’t look at him, if I did his puppy dog eyes would instantly make me weak.

I couldn’t help but look, because Hobi’s puppy dog eyes is probably one of his cutest expressions. 

“Okay, but if I get sick, you'll never hear the end of it.”

Hobi grinned and pulled me out into the rain with him, “That’s a risk I'm willing to take.” He grinned, kissing my forehead. 

“Tag, you’re it!” He shouted and then ran away. I laughed and ran after him. 

“You’re so slow!” He shouted, “Fuck off, you’re lucky I’m even doing this for you” I yelled back. 

Hobi bounces from one leg to another and I stared him down ready to attack. “You’d do anything for me.” 

He’s right. I’d do anything to keep him shining. 

I ran after him but he didn’t move, he let me tackle him to the ground and we laid on the wet sidewalk laughing like 10-year-old boys. The rain poured down and the sounds of thunder roared in the background. 

I sat up and looked at Hobi, it doesn’t matter how dark and gloomy it is out here. With Hobi by my side, every day is bright. He’s the sun after the rain, that peeks from behind the clouds, informing everyone it’s okay. Brighter times are coming. 

“What are you looking at?” He asked still smiling. 

“You, always you.” 

Hobi gave me the look he always gave me after saying something cheesy. As much as he complains about it I knew he loved it. He leaned forward, our faces only a small distance apart. My eyes fluttered shut ready to accept the kiss he is about to give me. 

“ACHOO” Hobi sneezed right in my face. 

“HOSEOK!” I shouted. 

“I am so sorry, Yoongs, so sorry,” he said trying to wipe my face with his soaked T-shirt. 

“Asshole, I knew you would get sick” I mumbled, “Come on, let’s go inside,” I said pulling him up with me. 

The things I do for this man. The things I’ll continue to do for this man. 

*END* 

“So, you’re breaking up with him?” Jimin asked me. We sat together at a coffee shop that was located in the town right over from mine. We learned from talking that we did not live that far away from each other. We had made plans to hang out once over break so I called him up and had him meet me here.  
“I am not breaking up with him. I am just frustrated with him and the way he has been acting. We normally don’t have issues but he’s been so distant lately and I am not sure what the problem is.” 

“Ask him, it’s really that simple. I swear I have been in relationships that have ended badly because of the lack of communication. Hobi would tell you if you asked, I am sure of it.” 

“What if there is no problem and I am just overthinking.” 

“That could be the case, but you won’t know for sure unless you TALK to him.” 

“I love him,” I said

Jimin raised his eyebrow, “tell me something I don’t know” 

“No, you don’t get it. I love him. I am in love with Jung Hoseok and he doesn’t feel the same way.” 

“He’s your boyfriend, of course, he does.” 

“Jimin, Hoseok does not love me,” I said realizing what the issue is, he doesn’t love me. “I have been hinting to him recently that I want to us to drop the L-word and he’s been acting weird. That’s it, he doesn’t love him. Oh my god, I am so stupid.” 

“Yoongi, how do you know he doesn’t love you if you haven’t even discussed it with him? And if he doesn’t love you, what does that mean for your relationship?”

“Nothing. Our relationship is nothing because even after all this time. He still cannot fully open up to me.” 

Jimin pouted, “Hoseok seems to have commitment issues” 

“Wow, thanks to captain obvious.” I sighed, “Forget about me, how are you and Jungkook?” I asked. 

Jimin choked on his drink, “Jungkook? What do you mean?” 

“Cut the crap, kid. You both clearly like each other and have clearly been doing something about it so tell me, how are you?” 

Jimin bit back a smile, “I don’t want to seem insensitive but, we’re amazing actually” Jimin grinned and his eyes lit up. 

At least someone is having better luck with their love life. The rest of us are sinking, fast. 

“We hooked up one night after hanging out and since then we’ve been together, I am not sure exactly but we’re good. He’s a completely different person when it’s just us it’s so weird”

“That’s how it is normally, I’ve heard from many people that I come off as very harsh and cold but I am obviously not like with Hoseok so I believe you” 

“Yeah, Kook isn’t as innocent as he seems to be and he never fails to catch me off guard” 

“Like in bed? Yeah, Hoseok is a sex freak and at first, it was weird because I’ve had sex with exes, I’ve hooked up with people, but sex is very different with him, I used to think that’s all he wanted me for. It still feels like that sometimes”  
“I’m sure that’s not the case yoongi, he for sure loves you or in your mind, he for sure really really likes you” 

I shrugged, “back to you and Jungkook, so he’s good in bed?” 

Jimin scoffed, “you called me here to talk about your relationship problems, not my sex life” 

“True, but this is so much more entertaining” 

Jimin laughed and took a sip of his coffee, he nodded, “yeah, he is” he looked down at the table and his cheeks lit up red. 

“Does taehyung know?” 

“NO! He might flip out, he would never expect and same for Namjoon or anyone else for a matter of fact. Don't tell anyone. I think everyone thinks we like each other but no one knows we are together. There is just a lot going on back at school and I rather this stay on the down-low for a while.” 

“Okay, I respect it. I am glad you guys are good” 

“Thank you and I know for a fact that you and Hobi will be perfectly fine.” 

“I sure hope so, so thank you for coming.” 

“Anytime yoongs, but I should get going, I have dinner plans with some old friends but it was nice seeing you. Enjoy the rest of your break, don’t stress too much about Hoseok.” Jimin stood up from the table and we said our final goodbyes. 

The second Jimin left my phone lit up with Hoseok’s name, perfect timing. 

___ 

“What the fuck is your problem?” Hoseok spat at me, I stood in the middle of his bedroom with my arms folded. “My problem? I asked you a simple question and you flipped out. How am I the one with the problem” I said with an attitude. 

“You came here acting weird, not me, but accuse me of being the distant one? What sense does that make? I told you multiple times that I am fine, we are fine. For once listen to me and stop fucking nagging me.” He barked at me and I blew out air trying not to get too worked up. 

“You’re an insensitive prick, do you know that?” I said, annoyed at him for behaving this way. All I did was try to talk to him about the things I discussed with Jimin over the break. 

“I fucking know, you call me every goddamn name in the book.” He rolled his eyes at me. 

“Whatever, I can never just have a conversation with you without you acting fucking crazy.” 

Hoseok scoffed at me with irritation, “Everyone is waiting on us to start the movie, so cut the crap and act nice” 

I sighed in defeat, I turned around to hide the tears that rolled down my cheeks, “I know the drill, asshole” I said as harshly as I could without giving away the fact that I was crying but Hobi knew. He knew me better than anyone else. 

I waited for him to get ready so we could go watch whatever stupid movie our friends wanted to see. 

I felt two arms wrap around my waist, Hobi let out a sigh, “Baby, we’re good okay” 

His mood swings piss me off, this acting will push past my limits one day. 

I pushed him off of me, “Get off of me, Hoseok” 

He mumbled something under his breath before I opened the door and went to greet our friends. We chose a seat on the ground, Hoseok pulled me onto his lap. He placed a kiss on my cheek.  
“Ready?” Seokjin asked and we all replied with a yes. Let’s get this shit over with so I can get the hell out of here. 

Namjoons pov: 

I ended up sitting next to Seokjin on the couch. We all decided on watching a movie because we were too lazy to do anything else. I am not sure why a scary movie was even the option because I am in a room filled with way too many scaredy cats, including myself. Jimin and Taehyung were clinging to each other while Jungkook was hiding behind a pillow if he got too scared he would grab onto Yoongi's arm who was already dealing with Hobi yelling. I calmly sat next to Seokjin. He looked tired and was not really into what was happening on the screen. Honestly me too, not when I’m this close to him. I mean we’ve been this close before, just alone and I didn’t feel like I was being watched. I’m sure our friends have some plan up their sleeves on getting us together but they should cut it out. If anything Seokjin and I are getting to be good friends but that’s all. 

“I have to pee,” Jungkook said

We all look at each other, “thank you for sharing but we do not care” Yoongi said flatly. 

“No, I really really have to go but I can’t” 

“Once again, we do not care”

“Yoongs! Don’t be rude” Hoseok smacked his arm, “I understand little buddy I’ll go with you” 

“Don’t fucking call me that?” Jungkook said 

“Do you want me to go with you or not?” Hoseok spat 

Jungkook pouted, “okay, let’s go, you get up first” 

“Hell no, you go first” 

“JUST GO!” Taehyung shouted, “I cannot hear the movie!” 

“You aren’t even paying attention,” Jimin said, he’s right, his face is stuffed into his shirt. 

“I can see through my shirt, mind your business”  
“Seriously, if we do not go right now I am going to pee on myself” 

“Babe, I swear if you pee on me I will never speak to you again” 

“Babe? Disgusting, I rather be called little buddy” Jungkook grinned 

“You all have three seconds to shut the fuck up or I will turn the movie off” Yoongi spat 

“Is that a challenge?”

“No!” Shouted multiple people shouted, I looked over at Seokjin and he was shaking his head smiling, I am surprised he hasn’t said much all night. 

Jungkook grumbled something about trying to lighten the mood while he pulled Hoseok up with him to go to the bathroom. 

These boys are ridiculous. A few seconds later we heard multiple screams from the bathroom. 

“YOU CAN NOT PEE AT THE SAME AS ME!” Hoseok shouted 

“WHY NOT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU WON’T LEAVE ME IN HERE ALONE!?” 

“I’M NOT GOING TO!” 

Yoongi got up, walked into the bathroom and turned the light off. The boys went ballistic while yoongi grinned as he took his seat again on the floor. 

Can this movie please be over? 

Almost 20 minutes later once everyone had calmed down I heard a small sigh, I look at Seokjin and saw him trying to keep his eyes open. He looked adorable and I wanted to lean over and kiss him right there. 

He pulled out his phone and I looked away but within seconds I felt the vibration of mine. 

S: you’re staring 

N: at the screen, yes. 

S: at me, I’m not blind 

N: you wish I was staring at you 

S: in YOUR dreams, I’m tired and this movie is boring 

N: go to sleep, stop texting me before someone notices 

S: I can’t sleep here, it’s cold and uncomfortable. I can’t leave and go to my room either, that’s rude. 

N: no one will notice, they’re all really into the movie, you’re closer to your room anyways. 

S: why didn’t they sit on the couch with us? 

N: I’m sure they put us together on purpose 

S: why? 

N: who knows 

N: there’s a blanket on the ground do you want it 

S: yes, if no one else is sitting on the couch I’m going to lay down 

N: why are you telling me this 

S: bc you’re my pillow 

N: uh 

S: or you can be my footrest 

N: I don’t like feet 

S: tragic. I have a foot kink 

N: I did not need to know that 

S: I’m kidding 

N: sure 

I heard him chuckle next to me and I rolled my eyes laughing as well. I handed him the blanket and he wrapped himself with it before rest his head on my shoulder. Before I knew it he was asleep, quietly snoring. He looked peaceful and I’d do anything to lean down and kiss his forehead. I rested my head on his. I wasn’t sure if he was asleep when he snaked his arms around my waist, but I didn’t mind. 

“Hey, do you guys want pop-“ Jimin began asking but stopped, he smiled at me before turning back around. If only he knew that this didn’t mean anything. If only it did. 

——  
I was half asleep when a pillow was thrown at me. I jumped up and everyone was staring at me and Seokjin who now curled up under the blanket, head resting on my lap. 

“cute, but let’s go,” taehyung said 

“wait, when did the movie end?” I asked 

“Like 10 minutes ago, do you want to stay there or leave I don’t mind, I mean Jin might be upset if I left you guys alone,” hobi said 

“No what why would I stay?” I started moving trying not to wake him but like always my clumsy ass accidentally made him fall. I tried grabbing him but it was no use. 

I gasped as he hit the ground. Our friends were somewhat amused by the scene but all too tired to care. Taehyung And Jungkook ended up leaving, Yoongi got ready for bed. He obviously was staying. Jimin waited on me by the door. 

“Please leave me here to die” Seokjin groaned, as he sprawled out on the ground. “Okay, if that’s what you really want,” Hobi said leaving. 

“Namjoon, I’m going to sleep,” Jimin said leaving as well. 

I hate all these people. 

“Seokjin, get up, go to your room,” I said nudging him with my foot. 

“Stop it, I’m fine here,” he said hiding his face with the blanket 

“I’m not leaving you here” 

“I’ve slept here before, it’s fine, I’m too tired, unless you want to carry me” he suggested and I laughed, “no just stand up, come on, what kind of person would I be if I just left you in the ground. Seokjin please it’s 3am and I have a shift tomorrow at 10” 

“That’s your problem kid I’m fine sleeping right here” I huffed before picking him up and carrying him to his room. “damn, we love a strong man,” he said as I dropped him on his bed. “Shut up, go to sleep if you’re really that tired” 

He sat up and smiled. “I am but I also just wanted you to carry me” 

I scoffed, “you’re annoying, goodnight”

“Bye RM” He mumbled before laying back down. I left myself out quietly and headed across the hall. 

_______

Tae and I are hanging out like we used to do on a Friday night. We have done it a couple times in the past few weeks but it finally feels like we are officially okay ever since our incident. We are both sitting on my bed doing our own thing, Tae is watching a reality tv show on his computer with his legs in my lap and I am on my phone going through my social media. 

It’s just us in the room because Jimin is out with Jungkook not having a ‘date'. Not too sure what Jin, Hoseok, and Yoongi are doing, to be honest. I can’t hear them from my room for once so it was anyone’s guess. 

I felt antsy and bored. I really wanted to go do something but not sure what yet. I have been constantly doing homework and Ra duties. I have a lot of group projects in my classes this semester and finding time to meet with my groups and getting it done has been a pain in the ass. Then, I have been waiting to hear back from grad schools that I applied to, which has been super stressful and anxiety-inducing. The schools have been taking their time looking over the applications and none have yet to get back to me. I just want to know where I am going to be next semester.

I was on snapchat looking through everyone's stories that day. When I get to Jackson Wang’s story, he is at some party with a bunch of his friends dancing and drinking. I text him, asking where he is at. He texts me back saying he at this frat house on Jefferson Ave. I look at tae and go, “do you want to go to a party?”

Tae pauses his show and looks at me. “Like right now?”

I nod my head, “Jackson is at a good one right now and I feel like doing something.”

Tae looked at me in disbelief for a second but then slowly his lips pull up in a grin. “Let’s go, I have the perfect outfits” Taehyung jumped out and pulled me out the door. 

We spent 30 minutes getting ready because Taehyung couldn’t decide if the hat was too much or not. He wore black jeans, a denim jacket over a white T-shirt and a black hat. I kept it simpler with a light great sweater worn under a black jacket with some jeans. 

We get to the house and Jackson is outside on the porch with Bambam and a few other people. “what’s up?” Jackson asked he looked between me and Taehyung grinning. “You guys are friends again?” He asked and I nodded, “of course, why wouldn’t we be friends?” 

“Well, we heard you guys have been fucking and -.”

“Bambam, shut the fuck up!” Jackson said pinching him. “Okay, gosh, you don’t have to get nasty.” 

Taehyung laughed, “whatever you heard isn’t true, maybe next time you should just ask us rather than assume. Okay? Thank you. Joon let’s go inside” He mumbled and I gave Jackson a small wave before heading in. 

“Tae, we’re good,” I said, touching his back, “We worked past it, ignore what others have to say” 

He nodded and sighed, “Yeah we’re fine, let’s just have fun, it’s been a while since the Kim bros have partied together” 

“Exactly, now, Rock Paper Scissors, loser takes a shot” I shouted over the music and Taehyung laughed, “hell yeah!” 

A few rounds in and Taehyung is wasted because he’s lost every single time. “Okay enough, my turn, I’ll drink to catch up with you!” I poured three shots and took them once right after another. We grabbed a beer to sip throughout the night as we continued to meet up with other people we casually hang out with at parties. At some point, Taehyung and I split up. I ended up upstairs with a few guys sitting around smoking. 

“Joon, haven’t seen you around lately, how’s your boyfriend?” JB asked, he was sitting outside with Double B and Wang earlier but we did not exchange words. The two of us have a love-hate relationship, especially since shit when downhill with his really good friend, the one and only, Mark. 

“He’s not my boyfriend man, you know that quit saying shit like that” I muttered, grabbing the joint and inhaling. 

“Oh come on, you guys have been fucking around for so long, what changed” 

I chuckled and shook my head, “nothing, we’re good” 

“It’s that guy right, the birthday the guys went to, him”

“Seokjin?”

JB nodded, “leaving one pretty boy for another I see” 

I rolled my eyes, “Shut up, taehyung is my best friend, and Seokjin is just a friend okay, nothing is going on with anyone. Can’t you ever mind your fucking business?” 

JB held his arms, “listen, I know you, you fuck around and leave, just wondering if that’s what happening here” 

“What happened with Mark is really no one’s business but ours and it was freshman year okay, I have changed so much since then but you don’t know me so I don’t need to explain myself to your pathetic ass” 

Taehyung walked into the bedroom, “Hey, I was looking for you” He said looking between JB and me, “the man of the hour, we were just discussing you” JB commented and Taehyung gave me weird looks. 

“Ignore him, let’s go back down” 

“Uh, okay,” Taehyung said, still obviously confused. 

“Have fun you two” JB called out, I turned around and gave him the finger, “by the way, your weed is shit” 

We headed downstairs and grabbed a few more drinks, “everything good?” Tae asked as he poured another drink, “perfect” I mumbled, I swirled the drink I had in my cup. 

“Hey, maybe you should listen to your own advice and not care about what others say, we worked past it, we’re good.” Taehyung smiled at me, he rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. I nodded and took a sip of my drink, “fuck, this shit is strong” 

“It’s not mixed, dumbass. The goal is wasted not tipsy, I would like to make up for all the parties we missed because we both are idiots” Taehyung laughed and chuckled, “okay, but I am not dragging your drunk ass home if you knock out here I'm leaving” 

“Rude, but fair” Tae and I cheer before heading out of the kitchen. 

After another hour or so Taehyung pulled me after him once we had a few more drinks in our system. We both jumped around like dumbasses on the dance floor. My head was spinning, the lights dazzled in my eyes, the music echoed in my eardrums. Damn, I missed this, being so drunk with my best friend.  
“I LOVE THIS SONG!” Taehyung shouted when one of his favorite cardi B songs blasted through the speakers. Taehyung and I danced at a safe distance away but as we continued we show how ended up shamelessly grinding on each other with everyone around us stealing glances. This doesn’t help our image but we both seemed to not care enough. 

After a few more songs, Taehyung stopped and laughed, “Thanks for dancing with me” he said out of breath and grinning. “I need a drink,” he said heading back to the kitchen. I followed behind him and grabbed a beer myself. At this point, I wasn’t sure how much I drank but what I do know is that tomorrow I’ll wake up with a killer headache. 

Taehyung left me alone and I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned around, some girl wanted to dance with me. I happily accepted and danced with her for a little while. There was some small talk but not much, we ended up locking lips. She hungrily kissed me, she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me down closer to her, I wrapped my arms around her waist. At this point, I was too drunk to care. I let myself making out with her in the middle of the party because who cares. Everyone else was basically doing the same thing. Suddenly she has shoved away. Taehyung stood there looking pissed, “Sorry, he’s with me” Taehyung hissed, my eyes widened in disbelief at the scene in front of me. 

Taehyung argued with the girl and her friends who quickly ran over, “He’s with you, really? You?” I heard her ask. “Ya, why is that so hard to believe, bitch.” 

“Taehyung, cut it out, we can go somewhere else,” I said trying to get him out of the situation. 

“You're lucky I can’t hit a girl” he growled before turning around and walking away. Taehyung kept yelling things over his shoulder as we walked into the kitchen. 

“Dude, why are you so pressed?” Jackson asked, “Shut the fuck up Wang” Taehyung barked and I shook my head, “Let him be, he needs to calm down” 

“Don’t tell me to calm down” Taehyung argued with me and tried leaving. “Okay, okay, be upset, feel whatever you need to feel” I mumbled, rubbing his arm. 

Jackson laughed, “you two are something else, here drink these and then join us out back to smoke,” he said leaving two cups of punch on the counter. I handed one to Taehyung and he downed it. He wiped the excess liquid off his mouth and threw his cup in the trash can right next to us. 

We stood in silence for a while, taehyung wouldn’t make eye contact with me. He hopped onto the counter and sat there looking at the floor. I downed my drink as well and sighed, “You good, baby?” I asked and he nodded, “yeah, sorry, I don’t know what came over me” 

I stood in front of him, he finally looked up and looked me in the eyes, “what did you call me?” 

Shit. I don’t know, what did I call him. I am so drunk I honestly can’t remember what I said a few minutes ago. I shrugged and laughed, “I don’t even know” 

Taehyung laughed as well, “wait, what are we laughing about?” 

I shrugged again causing us both to laugh again. I leaned forward into him, he put his hands on my arms and we stood laughing for no reason at all. 

“Let’s take tequila shots” Taehyung suggested, I agreed and grabbed us both shots and lime wedges. 

“We are going to regret this so much tomorrow” 

“For sure” Tae and I knocked the shot back and quickly sucked on the lime. “Oops,” Taehyung said, he had lime juice dripping down his chin, I brought my hand up to wipe it away. My thumb rubbed the corner of Tae's lip and we both froze. I think the smart and sober thing to do is move away. Keep our distant but obviously, we both are not sober and are clearly major idiots once we’re together. 

Taehyung opened his mouth and I slipped my thumb in. He sucked on my thumb, his head bobbed down and back up as eyes flickered up to mine. “Baby” I let out a quiet moan, taehyung likes pet names. He closed his eyes and continued, I placed my hand on his thigh and rubbed up and down. I could feel myself getting hard from just this. 

It’s so different from Taehyung, it’s easier with Taehyung. It’s so much better. 

Taehyung slid to the edge of the counter and wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck, our faces were inches apart. I could smell the alcohol on his hot breath. He rested his forehead on mine and we smiled at each other. “Let’s go home, Joonie” He whispered, giving me a quick peck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH SHIT, HERE WE GO AGAIN


	14. The wreck we made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: Happier By: Marshmello
> 
> Twitters: 
> 
> follow [ @sinfulcupcakee ](https://twitter.com/sinfulcupcakee). 
> 
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> 
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> 
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Taehyung’s pov: 

Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon. 

“Na-amjoon,” I moaned. 

I sat straddling his lap, grinding slowly onto him. His hands holding me in place. His head tilted back; mouth slightly ajar. 

As much as I tell myself this a horrible idea, I never listen. Every time it happens, I tell myself it’ll never happen again. It’s a lie. There’s no quitting Namjoon. I’m too attached and I know this will end badly, at some point. For right now, Namjoon is touching me. Namjoon is kissing me. Namjoon is mine. 

“Keep going, baby,'' he moaned, his voice low and dark. 

“Look at me, love,” he whispered, we locked eyes and he smirked. “F-fuck,” I groaned, I pulled him closer to me, crashing our lips together. We moved in sync, we moved perfectly together. Namjoon kissed down my jaw, “You’re so good, baby,” he moaned into my ear. 

Namjoon flipped us over, he now he was on top, slowly rocking into me. 

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned into the side of my neck. I let out a small whimper each time he slid into me. I wrapped his legs around him which pushed him deeper inside of me. 

“Holy s-shit,” I breathed out, my eyes fluttered shut and I threw my head back. Namjoon nibbled on my neck, I love when he marks me. 

Gosh, I didn’t know how much I missed this. 

“Faster Joonie,” I begged. "You sure?” he asked. 

“Y-yes, please,” I moaned and Namjoon picked up his pace. 

Fuck, I love this. He felt so good. 

The room was spinning, “I’m going to c-cum,” I said, breathing hard. 

“Me too,” Namjoon said, placing a kiss on my lips. 

I love him. 

My heart was racing. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, n-namjoon,” I was so close, so close.

“I-I love y-you,” I cried out, as I let myself go. 

Namjoon pulled out and dropped down onto my chest. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. 

“I love you,” I whispered. We laid in silence until we eventually fall asleep. 

____

I woke up with a pounding headache and feeling sick to my stomach. Namjoon was curled up next to me. He shifted in sleep as I sat up. I look over at the nightstand and noticed lube and an open condom wrapper. 

Oh. 

I look at the floor and all our clothes were on the floor. 

My. 

I tried moving and winced in pain. 

God. 

I can’t remember much from the party but the longer I sat there I began to recall what happened once we got back. 

I did not just lose my virginity to my best friend whom I’m in love with who clearly does not and will not ever love me the same. I mean have I done things with people before but nothing past a blow job. Never past a blow job. I wanted to wait for the right person. For someone who loved and appreciated and respected me. 

Namjoon turned in his sleep and I glanced at him. He had a huge hickey on his neck.  
I am going to puke. I quickly got out of bed and started looking for my clothes. The longer I stayed here the more suffocating it felt. 

“Fuck, where is my fucking shirt,” I mumbled to myself. 

“Taehyung, shut up,” Namjoon groaned.

“No,” I spat, “wake the fuck up and help me find my shirt,” I hissed at him. 

He slowly sat up and looked around the room. I stood there watching him come to the realization I did not too long ago. His face dropped, he looked up to me in disbelief. 

“Taehyung,” he said, I heard it in his voice. He knew how bad this was. 

I started sobbing and began throwing things around looking for my shirt, “I just need my shirt and I’ll leave; I need to leave.” 

“Taehyung calm down. We will find it,” Namjoon said getting out of bed, pulling on his pants. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and once again, his reaction was the same. 

“Calm down? You want me to calm down? I can’t calm down. Do I need to explicitly tell you what the fuck we did last night?” 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he said, guilt spread across his face. 

“Fuck you, fuck you. I-not with you. Fuck why with you?!” I shouted I couldn’t breathe. 

Namjoon stepped closer and I backed away, “I need you to leave me alone, okay? I can’t do this anymore. You win.”

“Win what? Taehyung this wasn’t planned or whatever you’re thinking, I swear.” 

I didn’t know what I was thinking. All I know is we fucked up big time. 

“I’m leaving. I don’t care about the shirt,” I said turning around and Namjoon grabbed my arm. Tears rolled down my cheeks, his face mirrored mine, “I am so sorry.” 

“Being sorry isn’t enough Joon,” I said, pulling away from his grasp and leaving. 

I’m done. My heart can’t break anymore. It hurts too much. 

I opened the door to the room, Jungkook and Jimin were drinking smoothies while watching something on Kook’s laptop. 

Jungkook smiled at me, “You never came back last night. Where were you?” he asked. I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out. I started crying all over again, both boys came up to me and wrapped their arms around me. 

“Taehyung, breathe, you’re okay. What happened?” Jimin asked calmly. 

The three of us sat on the floor, they both hugged me and let me cry, waiting until I was ready to speak. 

“I - we - had sex” I hiccupped, hiding my face in Jungkook’s chest, this was the honestly the closest we have ever been, but I needed him right now. 

“Who’s we?” Jimin asked.

“No fucking way,” Jungkook said, “Namjoon?” he asked, and I nodded, crying harder than before. 

“And- and, I am so stupid. I told him I loved him, but it was in the moment and I was drunk, but he didn’t, he didn’t say it back,” I felt so sick thinking about it all.

“Oh, Tae, I am so sorry,” Jimin said, pulling me to him. We sat there, Jimin rocking me as I cried. Jungkook looked pissed off after some time we all pulled away. I decided to take a shower and eat something. Once I was done, I laid in bed and contemplated my whole life. 

I am so stupid. This is all my fault. Why did I let it get so bad? 

Fuck Namjoon, I hate him. 

Namjoon’s POV- 

A week passed; I haven’t heard anything from Taehyung. I haven’t even seen him around and I for sure knew better than to try to reach out to him. The morning after, Jimin came back and I received the scolding of a lifetime but then cried probably the most I have ever cried in my life as well telling Jimin how sorry I was and how much of a fuck up I am. Jimin is kind, he’s understanding and gets both sides but he knows we both screwed up in our own ways. Jungkook on the other day has been sending me death threats since it happened.

Jimin told me to ignore him. He just wants Taehyung to like him more so he’s siding with him, but I know that’s not true. He knows I fucked up, he’s living with my mess and he’s there trying to fix him, but I broke him too much and I don’t when Tae will be okay. I don’t know if we will ever be okay. 

Besides not seeing Taehyung, I have been ignoring Seokjin because there’s another thing I fucked up. I am not sure if he feels the same way about me, but I am sure he also wants nothing to do with me after hearing what happened with Taehyung. He probably hates me just as much as Tae does and I don’t blame him. 

I deserve this. I deserve to feel this shitty. I don’t deserve Tae’s friendship and me for sure don’t deserve a relationship with Seokjin. 

Being alone is better anyways.

_______

Mandatory meetings are stupid. I hate having them and the residents hate showing up. We need to have them once a month to go over the rules. I think it stupid but even though we are grown adults, people still act childish and break the rules. I walked in with my clipboard, looking everything over. Jimin sat at the table next to me. Sadly, he has to be here too. Seokjin, Hoseok, and Yoongi all were on the couch. I don’t really talk to my residents right before a meeting. Mostly because even though I seem like I have my shit together. I am secretly freaking out in my head. 

Once the meeting started, things felt better. I was in the middle of going over the rules again when the door swung open and an angry Jungkook stormed in. 

“What the fuck, Namjoon!” he screamed, people were staring at him. Honestly, I was waiting for this. Somehow Jungkook got close with Taehyung and now he does anything to protect him. Jungkook darted towards me and I held my arms up to stop him. Jimin jumped up to help pull him away. 

“I am in the middle of the meeting! Can we deal with this later?” I asked. “No, we’re dealing with this now. Fuck your meeting, I’m going to fucking kill you,” Jungkook yelled. 

“Everyone, please leave, I will contact- JUNGKOOK!” I shouted interrupted by Jungkook trying to swing at me. 

“Stop it!” I yelled at Jungkook. Some people stayed to watch. Especially, Seokjin and his friends. 

They looked shocked. Seokjin was staring me down, I tried ignoring it. 

“Jungkook, love, relax,” Jimin said. 

“What do you mean relax! Namjoon, you’re a shitty ass person! Taehyung hasn’t stopped crying about you for weeks now. Do you even understand how much you hurt him? Probably not, you’re so selfish!” he yelled; I felt my eyes tear up. 

“I know, Jungkook, I swear I am sorry and-”

“No, I don’t want to hear it! How could you? Joon, how could you?!” 

“It just happened and I didn’t mean to hurt him,” I said. 

“Jungkook, you can’t just barge in here. Listen to what Namjoon did was wrong but Tae has faults too.” 

Jungkook laughed, “He was drunk.”

“And you don’t know the full story!” Jimin raised his voice. 

“I don’t know why everyone is picking sides, this is an issue I have to solve with Taehyung and Taehyung only.” Just then the door open. Taehyung walks in. 

“Jungkook, I told you not to do this,” he whined. 

“Why not, huh?! Why shouldn’t I beat the shit out of him?” he yelled.

“It’s not worth it. What good is that going to do?” Taehyung whispered he seemed out of energy. 

“Do you realize how much you’ve hurt him you prick, or do you only think of yourself? Seriously, answer me!”

“That’s not fair Jungkook!” Jimin yells.

“Life isn’t fair, babe,” Jungkook said and Jimin scoffs, “Like I said we can’t go blaming one person.”

“Jungkook. Let’s go. Please.” Taehyung begged. I tried making eye contact with him, but he wouldn’t even look at me.

“Jungkook. Please,” Taehyung said pulling him.

“Tae, I’m-”

“Sorry, I know,” he said looking everyone but me. 

“Can we just talk?” I asked. 

“I told you, I don’t want anything to do with you,” he mumbled. He pulled Jungkook along with him, “Sorry for interrupting your meeting,” he said. Jungkook gave me the death stare the entire way out. 

“You’re in deep shit,” Jimin said to me and I closed my eyes fighting back tears. I know. 

I sighed opening my eyes, realizing that every single one of my residents was still here. 

“Are you okay, Joon?” someone asked. “I’m sorry, guys, can we do this later?” I asked.

“How about we all sign in and pretended the meeting went on. We won’t say anything. Go deal with your shit,” Hoseok spoke up. 

“You guys are just trying to get out of a meeting,” I laughed causing them all smiling or laughing too. “Fine, but this is the only time I'm letting this happen,” I handed the clipboard to Jimin to start passing it around. 

Once everyone signed, people left. I sat at the table just staring at the clipboard, not sure what to do. It’s eating me alive knowing that Taehyung is that hurt but he won’t listen to me. I could go there screaming and crying but it doesn’t matter. I hurt him; I just have to deal with it. 

“Ah- so this is why you’ve been ignoring me. You slept with Taehyung?” I heard a voice asked, a voice that I’ve been enjoying for a while now. 

“I’m sorry, I should have told you,” I mumbled, I looked up making eye contact with Seokjin. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You don’t have to tell me who you sleep with,” he said. He sat across from me. 

“I know, but I shouldn’t have, it changed everything. It ruined everything and it hurt so many people and I don’t know how to fix it Seokjin. I don’t know what to do,” the last few words barely made it out, covered in sobs. 

I let the tears roll down my face. 

“Everyone makes mistakes,” Seokjin simply said. He sounded so understanding and it was comforting but it doesn’t fix things with Taehyung. It doesn’t matter who understands and who’s ‘on my side’, Taehyung is the only person who matters. 

Seokjin stood up and walked towards me. He knelt down grabbing my face. He pulled me forward. Stopping a few inches from his, our lips so close. I gulped. What the hell is he doing?

“Everything will be okay, I promise.” He whispered. He used his thumbs to wipe my tears away. He brushed his thumb over my lips and my breathing hitched. What is he doing? Please don’t kiss me. 

“Jinnie, are you ready?” Hoseok walks into the lounge and Seokjin quickly stood up. 

“Uh yeah, yeah, let’s go. See you around, don’t stress it okay?” he said in his normal voice and I nodded. “Bye,” I said shyly smiling. 

Hoseok raised his eyebrow smirking at Seokjin, “What was that?” It is the only thing I heard before they left me alone. 

________

The rest of January dragged on, I spent my days focusing my classes and working extra hours at the library since I didn’t really have my best friend to hang out with anymore. Jimin would stop by occasionally to bring me food, sometimes Jungkook would be with him. Over time Jungkook calmed down on being upset with me. I guess Jimin talked to him about everything and he finally agreed that this is not his battle to be so worked up about. 

He asked me to forgive him for how harsh he has been lately, but I didn’t need to forgive him, I was never upset with him. The way he felt and the things he did would be what any decent friend would do if someone hurt a person, they care for in the way I hurt Taehyung. 

Seokjin began spending extra hours at the library as well, he says it is because he has tons of grading and lesson planning to do but I think we both know the real reason is that I am here. Whenever I took my breaks, I would sit with him and talk about our days. He had tons of stories to tell me since he was still student teaching. It was his last semester here as well, so we did a few senior things together like getting our senior pictures taken on the same day. 

The only nice thing about not spending time with Taehyung anymore is the amount of time I now spend with Seokjin. We are slowly getting closer and I think I can assume safely that he may feel the same way. We haven’t really talked about feelings; I never know how to bring them up and I also do not want to ruin whatever we do have by bringing up unnecessary things. 

It was a Thursday night after my shift, Seokjin sat at one of the booths in the library grading papers like usual. “Hey,” I said, and I sat down with a bag of food, it was the first meal I was having all day. “It’s almost midnight, don’t you have to up in 4 hours?” I asked he nodded in response not looking up from his work. 

“Come on, let’s go back to the dorm. You can finish this up tomorrow,” I said trying to pack his things up, “Namjoon, I have to finish it tonight. I kept putting it off but it’s due tomorrow.” 

“Okay, can I help you then?” I asked and he chuckled, “Don’t be ridiculous, you have your own work to do and do you have any idea what time it is? Just go back to the room and get some sleep.” 

I shook my head, I moved to his side of the booth and picked up one of the packets in front of him. “Hm, 4th-grade science, I guess I could help you grade this. Don’t you have an answer key?” 

Seokjin sighed, “Okay, if you really want to help you can grade all the multiple-choice ones since they are the easiest ones to grade but I have to do all the short answers. I really don’t know why I put off 30 tests to grade for the night before. I am such a dumbass.” 

“You are not a dumbass. You have been working your ass off every single night, I would know I have been here with you every night and you’re just working on other things.” 

Seokjin bit his lips, he looked so tired and stressed out. “I have to pull an all-nighter if I want to get this done before school tomorrow.” 

“Okay, here’s what we will do. How about you take a nap while I grade all of the multiple-choice questions? I will wake you once I am done and then I can help you with the rest. Deal?” 

“Joon, you are not staying here all night with me and are you crazy? I have no time to take a nap.” 

“Sleep for an hour, Seokjin, you will feel better.” 

“I prefer food over a nap, to be honest.” 

I laughed, “We can share my food and then you take a nap. We will figure out the rest after.” 

Seokjin agreed with me and after he quickly ate, he was knocked out within seconds. He rested his head against the wall but looked so uncomfortable. I shifted his body, so he was laying his head on my lap. He looked at the cutest when he was peacefully sleeping. I ran my fingers through his hair, and he wrapped in arms around my waist. We stayed like that, him sleeping and me grading his papers for longer than an hour. I wanted him to sleep, he has been overworking himself lately. Grading the short answers weren’t as difficult as he made it seem. The ones I had no clue how to grade I left blank. 

I am not sure how long I worked for before he woke up, most of the tests were graded and my eyes were burning from the lack of sleep. “Shit, it’s 3:30. Why didn’t you wake me?” he asked rubbing his eyes, “Because you needed rest and grading wasn’t so bad. They are mostly done; you can look over everything if you want.” 

Seokjin looked at me like I was crazy, “Namjoon, thank you so much but why did you do this?” 

“Hey, can’t you just accept that I did something nice for you? You’re lucky I don’t have class until 1pm tomorrow or I would have not helped your ungrateful ass.”

Seokjin laughed, “Thank you, really, I mean it.” I am not sure what went through his mind but mine ran blank the second his lips touched my cheek. I felt myself blushing and Seokjin’s face mirrored mine. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“No, it’s fine, I don’t mind. You need some Chapstick though,” I mumbled causing him to gasp, “I hate you!” he screeched hitting my arm. “I’m sure you do,” I smirked. 

He rolled his eyes, “Come on, let’s go back to the dorms now. I have to get ready for school and quickly finish up a few things,” he said pushing me out of my seat. 

We silently all the way back to the dorm, the early morning air was cool. It had snowed throughout the night and the janitors have not yet started cleaning the sidewalks. Seokjin looked amazing for having just woken up and still in yesterday’s clothes. 

“Stop staring at me,” he said, and I smiled. “I can’t help it,” I mumbled, he let out a small laugh and wrapped his arm around my waist. “I think the lack of sleep is getting to you, you’re expressing emotion,” he said I chuckled, “You’re right.” 

That’s how we have been for the past few weeks now and I have no complaints. Our friendship is definitely different, and I am not upset about that at all. I just really really do not want to screw this up. I can’t hurt yet another person I really care about. 

__________  
I was dragged to this party by Jimin, he said I needed to get out and hang out with all the guys again, but I really didn’t want to. I knew Taehyung would be here and it was no use trying to be in the same place as him, things were just awkward. I don’t want to ruin other people’s night because of my mistake. However, I didn't really have a choice, so I stood by the bar all night with Yoongi because he too was not a fan of the bars and big crowds. 

“I think you should talk to him,” he said breaking the silence between the two of us, I shook my head, “I know him better than anyone else and I guarantee you, Taehyung will never speak to me again.” 

“You honestly don’t know that, and I honestly do not believe that for one second, besides his feelings for you he also loves you as a friend. Yes, I do not know him as well as you do but it radiates off him, your friendship is amazing, and this will not ruin it.” 

“You do realize the situation; how can you possibly think that our friendship is not over after this?” 

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, “Joon, I really think you should talk to him. Have you ever said sorry?” 

“No, but that’s because he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Why should I waste my time?”

“Because he is your best friend, so it technically is not a waste of your time. Maybe he just needs some effort coming from you.” 

I sighed, maybe Yoongi is right. I should try to talk to him, but I know there really is no point. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try. I waited a few minutes and kept track of Taehyung. When I spotted him standing alone, I made my way over. 

Taehyung’s eyes flickered up from his phone when he noticed me standing in front of him. “Hey,” I breathed out, “I just wanted to come here and-,” I stopped talking, this is so stupid. I looked around the bar and sighed, “Taehyung, I am so sorry,” I said quietly. I tried looking him in the eyes, but he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. 

He cleared his throat and finally looked at me, “I know, you’ve said that so many times, Namjoon and I really don’t need to hear it again because it doesn’t fix things. It doesn’t fix what we did or how I feel.” 

“I know this doesn’t fix things, but Tae I have no clue what to do.” 

“There is nothing to do. Listen, I shouldn’t blame it all on you. I had some say too, right? I could have stopped it,” he muttered. “But, I didn’t and you of all people should have known better to not let it happen.” 

I nodded, listening to how he felt, “I don’t know how to get us back to how we used to be.” 

“I don’t want to be that way anymore, Namjoon. Literally thinking about you touching me makes me want to puke, and I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s true.” 

I sucked in some air, that hurts. “This sort of sounds like-”

“Like Mark? Yeah, maybe and I am sorry that this is how it has to be but that’s just how it is at this point. So, please understand why I don’t want you around, I don’t want you here. I don't want you anywhere near me,” Taehyung’s voice cracked, by his last sentence. 

We stood in silence until Taehyung spoke up again, this time his voice was a little softer and it made me want to cry hearing him call me by my nickname, “Joonie, for once I need to do something for myself and I’ve decided that I don’t want to be friends anymore. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make so please please please just make this easier for me and understand. Don’t try to fix this, we can’t fix it, most importantly, I don’t want to fix this.” 

I bit my lip and nodded, do not cry Namjoon, not here. “I understand,” I forced myself to say, “I won’t bother you again.” I turned around and walked up to our friends before he could say anything else. I got the message and I knew I should've just stayed home tonight. 

“Hey, I think I’m going to get out of here,” I said, and everyone booed. “What the fuck? Joon, we just got here,” Jimin said. 

“Yeah, but I’m not really wanted,” I half-smiled. Jimin gave me sad puppy eyes. He nodded, “See you back at the room, maybe,” he smirked, looking at Jungkook who was blushing. 

I gave him a thumbs-up, “Great, see you later.” I glanced over to Seokjin, he was biting his bottom lip, staring at the floor. Gosh, he’s so pretty. He looked up and made eye contact with me. “See you, RM,” he said, and I nodded, “Yeah,” I chuckled. I hate that he still calls me that. 

I placed my cup down that I was holding and headed towards the door. 

“Wait,” I felt someone tug on my arm. I turned around and Seokjin was grinning, “Taehyung might not want you here, but I do, and since you can’t really be here, then how about I come with you?” he said, shyly. 

“Hmm, I’d like that,” I said, Seokjin smiled grabbing my hand, leading me out of the bar. We walked hand in hand for a little bit in silence until Seokjin started speaking, “Sleeping with your best friend can get a bit sloppy, especially if feelings are involved.” 

“And you would know this because?” I asked him. 

“Oh, come on. Hoseok fucks anything he can get his dick into,” he let out a half-laugh. 

I raised an eyebrow, “You’ve slept with Hoseok?”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures. Honestly, he was a quick and easy fuck.” 

“And you guys are still friends?” I needed to know how this could possibly work. 

“Well we weren’t madly in love with each other-”

“We’re not madly in love,” I interjected. 

“He is, that boy is so whipped it’s literally tearing him to pieces,” Seokjin commented. 

That hurts my heart, why couldn’t I have just felt the same. He isn’t the one I want though. Who I really want, is currently standing there looking gorgeous under the moonlight, but weirdly telling me about fucking his best friend. 

That’s a love story, my friends. 

“It was awkward, of course, it was. But we talked it out, I realized that even though Hoseok has a really big dick. That’s not the dick I want fucking me to sleep.” 

Shameless. This man just says whatever comes to mind and honestly, I love it. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind fucking him to sleep. 

Namjoon, this is not the time to be thinking about this. Your dick has gotten you into a lot of trouble lately. 

“So, what do I do about Taehyung?” I sighed.

“Space and time,” Seokjin gave me a small smile and I nodded. Yeah, space and time really aren’t my friends. Especially with Taehyung, we never gave each other space or time apart. I didn’t realize how much I loved when he would be glued to my side 24/7. 

Seokjin and I walked towards campus, it was sort of a long walk, but I didn’t mind, as long as Seokjin was here. “We should get pizza,” Seokjin said breaking the silence again, “I always get pizza after going out,” he added. “Pizza sounds good,” I said smiling, Seokjin grinned, he wrapped his hand around my waist, “Come on, if we keep going at this pace, we will never make it back to campus.” 

“I don’t like walking fast, I like enjoying the view, taking everything in,” I said, looking around, a group of people walked by drunk and shouting. Seokjin raised an eyebrow, “This is what you want to take in?” He asked and I laughed, “No, okay, let’s get pizza and I’ll take you to my favorite spot in the park, deal?”

“How do I know you won't kill me and throw me in a ditch?”

I scoffed, “I think we know each other well enough to trust each other, Seokjin.”

“I never said I trusted you.” 

“If you didn’t, you would not be here with me right now. Also, if I did kill you, I wouldn't throw your body in a ditch. That’s how you get caught,” I smirked, and he hit my arm, “This is why I do not trust you!” he yelled, and I laughed. We made our way to the nearest pizza shop and then over to the park. We didn’t say much. Seokjin tried impressing me with his jokes again. I just enjoyed his laugh. The way his eyes crease and his nose wrinkled, his big grin on his face, the most obnoxious sound in the world. 

I enjoyed it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have cried.


	15. Why the hell do you love me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: Best Part of Me By Ed Sheeran

*February*

Seokjin’s POV:  
Valentine’s Day. Oh, how we love Valentine’s Day. I have spent most of my Valentine's days alone in my life. Except for the few times Hobi didn’t ask some random person out and ditched me. He always had an easier time finding someone than I did but that’s because he wanted to get in their pants and move on afterwards. This year was no different, Hobi and Yoongi were finally going on a date, the first date in a long time and I am excited for them. They really need this. Hobi also agreed on staying at Yoongi’s place so I could have the dorm completely to myself. Not that I really needed time alone. I like being alone but knowing that this year everyone is with someone and here I am doing laundry makes me kind of sad. 

I threw my laundry into the dryer and started the machine then headed back upstairs to my beloved boxes of chocolate waiting for me to devour them. I rounded the corner making my way back upstairs to my room. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and walked right into a person. A very strong chested person, it felt like I walked right into a wall. I let out a small owe and looked up to say sorry but instead of a person all I saw was an annoyed Namjoon staring back at me. “Watch where you’re going,” he mumbled. I backed away from his chest and squinted my eyes examining him. “Someone’s grumpy,” I stated, and he rolled his eyes before letting out a sigh. 

“Jungkook kicked me out of my room and I have nowhere to go. He has a date planned with Jimin.” 

I chuckled, not too surprised he got kicked out of his own room. He says he has nowhere to go and I have no plans tonight so maybe, just maybe, I could be a decent person and invite him over. But am I really going to give up my night alone? For this moron? I guess the company would be nice, as long as he still lets me watch my movies. “Well, I’m alone tonight. Hobi went out with Yoongi so you could hang out with me if you want to, if not, it’s fine.” 

Namjoon hesitated at first before answering, “Only if you take that hideous thing off your face.”  
My eyes widen realizing that he’s referring to the clay mask on I had on. If he could see under my mask, he’d notice my face turning bright red out of embarrassment. 

“Hey! It’s not hideous, it’s a face mask! Being handsome takes a lot of hard work, not like you would understand!” I argued. I hit his chest causing him to laugh out loud, “I don’t need beauty aids to help me stay handsome, it’s natural.” 

I scoffed, “Do you want to hang out with me or not?” I folded my arms and he laughed, “Yes, of course I do,” he mumbled. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my room. 

We have gotten a lot closer recently. We actually have been hanging out a lot ever since what happened with Taehyung, so I am not surprised that he did want to hang out with me. I just feel weird because it’s Valentine’s Day and I know if our friends knew we were together they would say it’s a date but it’s not. We both don’t have anything to do on this fine evening so we’re hanging out together. 

“Can we-” he started probably going to ask if we can play Mario Kart, but I am sick of that game. I am tired of watching my dumbass friends get into to actual fist fights about some stupid video. Okay, fine, I am the one that starts the fights but still, tonight is about love and we will be watching romcoms if it’s the last thing we do. I cut him off from speaking, “We’re watching The Notebook and there’s no changing my mind.” Namjoon pouted and I shook my head as a no, too bad. He wanted to hang out with me, so he has to do what I want to do. 

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m going to wash this off my face really quick,” I told him before heading into the bathroom. Namjoon hummed in response as he discarded his shoes and jacket that he was wearing. When I came out of the bathroom, I noticed him looking at my stash of chocolate. 

“Why do you have 5 boxes of chocolates?”

“They’re all from my admirers. Are you jealous?” I asked watching him crinkle his nose, “Jealous? Never,” he said. “Can I have one?” he asked opening a box to find them all being half bitten. “I don’t know what the fillings are, so I have to bite them to find out,” I explained myself.

“Why not just read the bottom?” he raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged, “I never uh thought of that.” He sighed, “Of course you haven't,” he set the box of chocolates down and picked up an unopened one. He walked over the couch and sat down. “Okay, let’s start the movie,” he said as he pulled my blanket over him and began eating chocolates. Maybe he made himself way too comfortable. I bit back a smile thinking of how natural things feel with him. He’s still awkward sometimes but it’s cute. 

I took a seat right next to him pulling my blanket away from him. “Hey, share!” he said snatching it back and I groaned, “You always do this, let’s just use different blankets.” 

“No, it’s fine, here you go.” He pulled the blanket over the both of us and I settled into the couch leaning on his side. He examined the chocolates deciding on which one to eat next. “Do you like the coconut ones?” he asked, and I nodded. He held the chocolate out to me, and I took a bite, “That’s an orange one!”

“I know, I ate the coconut one, sorry,” he said, “Start the movie or I’m leaving.” I shook my head at him, this boy is really something else. I smiled at the thought of how adorable he is as I pull the movie up on the screen. I settled back into the couch, Namjoon puts an arm around my shoulders. I looked at him to see his facial expression, but his focus was on the movie already. I rested my head on him and watched the movie as well. 

“If you have so many admirers why you are alone on Valentine's Day?” he randomly asked me in the middle of the movie. I lifted my head from his shoulder. “That’s a great question. Why don’t we ask? Namjoon, why didn’t you take me out for Valentine’s Day?” 

He blinked twice and I could see his lips curving up into a smile. “I never said I was an admirer; I’m asking about the ones you pretend to have.” 

“I don’t pretend to have admirers, clearly I do. Have you met me? I’m handsome and charming, the whole package actually.” 

“Yet no one asked you out. What a shame.” 

“Fuck off, what about you? Why aren’t you out mister ‘I’m naturally handsome’?” 

“I don’t need a set date of the year to take someone I like out or buy them flowers or chocolate. It’s all just an excuse. Capitalism at its finest, my dear.” 

I pursued my lips in disagreement, “I think you’re just mad that no one wanted to go out with you.” I shrugged my shoulders and tried to bite back a smile. 

He rolled his eyes and shoved me a little, I gasped, “Has no one ever taught you manners? How dare you shove me!” I said shoving him back. He laughed at me and pushed me again. 

“Stop it!” I shouted but he continued pushing me which led to the two of us wrestling on the floor. “You’re stronger than you look Kim Seokjin,” he said as I sat on his back, pinning his face to the floor.

“Never underestimate a pretty man. Have I taught you nothing?” 

“Get off of me!” he yelled trying to move and I pushed harder down on him. “Seokjin!” he screamed and now it was my turn to laugh at him. This is what he gets for talking shit about my admirers.

“Are you ticklish?” I asked and he gasped, “DON’T you fucking dare, Kim Seokjin, I swear to god, if you- AHHHH” 

Namjoon giggled and screeched under me, “Oh my god, stop it, s-stop it!” I laughed at his pain, “I swear, you’re dead meat Kim.”

“Oooo I’m so sca- AHH, NO, CUT IT OUT!” Namjoon all of a sudden makes an escape and throws me down the floor. He stands up and I grab his ankle. “You dumbass!” I shout and he tried kicking me off, “SEOKJIN!” he groaned. 

We continue fooling around this way until Namjoon tried lifting me up but ends up dropping me causing me to hit my head on the wall. “Ah fuck,” I groan, “Shit, I’m sorry!” he panicked dropping down to the floor next to me to make sure I was okay. I lay trying to catch my breath on the ground holding my head where I got hit. 

“It’s okay, I’m not dead,” I sat up straight and Namjoon moved my hand away to check if I had a bump. “I swear, I’m okay,” I said, “I know, but I still am really sorry.” 

I grabbed his face and pulled him close to mine. “Stop apologizing or I'll bite you.” Namjoon laughed, he looks even better up close. “You’ll bite me? What kind of threat is that?” His voice was lowered, close to a whisper and I shivered. His lips were only inches away and he hasn’t pulled away showing any sign of discomfort.

I loosened the grip of his face and ran my thumb over his cheek. He still didn’t move away. “I-I’ll bite your cheek.” I breathed out. I leaned closer to him and nope that didn’t cause him to move. 

“Ooo I’m so scared,” he said, leaning in towards me, my eyes dropped down to his lips that were so close to mine. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip making it glisten, I copied his action. “You should be scared,” I whispered. “I’m terrified,” he answered, and I nodded, “Me- me too,” I leaned closer. I let my eyes flutter shut our lips barely grazed when my alarm went off for my laundry. We both pulled away from each other and Namjoon helped me up. “I have to go get my laundry,” I said not making eye contact. That was so close, if we had kissed it would have ruined our friendship. I cannot let that happen. 

“Okay, when you’re back, we can finish where we left off,” Namjoon said, “-in the movie, we can finish the movie,” he quickly added, and I nodded awkwardly laughing. “Yeah, the movie we were watching earlier.”

“Yeahh,” he coughed, I turned around on my heel and bee lined up to the door. I ran all the way downstairs to the laundry room, and it wasn’t until the door slammed shut behind me did I scream. 

“WHAT THE FUCKKK!” I yelled, I looked up and some girl was standing by the dryer staring at me with wide eyes. 

“Oh, hello,” I mumbled before taking my laundry out of the dryer as well, embarrassed. 

I hate myself. 

_________

Taehyung’s POV: 

I walked into the cafe on campus and spotted Minjae. I walked straight up to him, “Hey!” I said as I took a seat across from him at the table. “I ordered for you, hot chocolate,” he said handing me the cup. “Oh, thank you. You didn’t have to; I will pay you back.” 

“I don’t usually let my dates pay me back,” he grinned at me and smiled at him, “Well, then I will pay for your game at the bowling alley, okay?” 

“Maybe, we will see what happens.” he laughed, “Oh, also these are for you.” He handed me a box of chocolates and flowers. I was taken aback, “Jae, you really didn’t have to. I actually got you a gift but it’s not for Valentine's Day. It was for Christmas, but I left it in my room though, I am so sorry...” 

“Oh, that is so sweet. Please do not be sorry, I am just lucky you said yes to going out with me.” He grinned a toothy grin and I couldn’t help but do the same. He’s sweet. He’s too sweet and he really has no idea what he’s signing up for when it comes to being with me. 

I said yes to this date because Jungkook told me to stop moping around about Namjoon and put myself out there. If I didn't, then I would never get over him and he’s right. I can’t cry anymore tears; I ran out. I cried myself to sleep for way too long about someone who will never feel the same way. Does my heart still hurt? Of fucking course, it does but I have to suck it up and be a big boy. That is why I am forcing myself to smile and laugh tonight with this really sweet and cute guy who is actually interested in me. 

“How are things going, I know we haven’t really spoken since over winter break. Things got sort of hectic in my life,” I said to him trying to start a conversation with him. 

“The semester is alright, not as bad as last semester so for right now I am staying afloat. But I am sorry to hear you’re already having a bad semester, anything you want to talk about?”

I shrugged, taking a sip of my hot chocolate, “Not much to stay, it’s sort of personal.” 

“Is it the same thing that got you so upset the night I found you in the rain?” 

I laughed, I sound so pathetic, “Sadly, yes, it’s my best friend- Namjoon,” I started and decided that if I want this to go somewhere then he needs to fully know what he was walking into. I told him about the few hooks up and the fact that I fell in love with him, but I knew it was unrealistic. Once I was done talking, I expected him to run away, why be with someone who is in love with their best friend but surprisingly he stayed, and he comforted me, and he understood. “I am so sorry he doesn’t feel the same and that he treated you that way. It really sucks because you are such a great guy and you anyone would be lucky to be with you,” he said softly and I smiled at him, “Thank you, I honestly thought you would never speak to me again if you knew the full story, that is sort of part of the reason why I haven’t spoken to you much this semester. I thought I screwed up so badly.” 

He shook his, “Of course not, everyone has a story and you don’t know mine. What if you run away after hearing mine? I can’t judge you based on your past.” 

“My past was like a month ago,” I laughed, and he chuckled, “Taehyung, I don’t care at all. Like I said before, I am lucky that you even said yes. And, if it makes you comfortable this doesn’t have to be a date, it can be two guys hanging out getting to know each other on a friend level.” 

“Ouch, did I just get friend zoned?” I clenched my heart and faked being hurt. We both laughed, “We don’t have to rush into anything at all Taehyung. I want you to feel comfortable, we can go at your pace.” 

“Thank you,” I said, I reached out and grabbed his hand across the table, “Now, let’s go so I can beat your ass in bowling.” 

“Oh, really? You think you can beat the bowling champion?” he joked.  
_________

“Okay, maybe I overestimated myself. You have your own bowling ball?” I asked him as we walked into the bowling alley. 

“I got it as a gift from my parents. Don’t worry, I am not that cocky, and I have a secret, I am not as good as I say I am.” 

He was wrong, he was great, and I sucked. “Why did you lie to me? You’re really good. I am shit compared to you.” 

“Aw Tahyungie, you’re not that bad. Your form is just off. Here let me show you how to stand.” 

Minjae spent the rest of the night helping me get better and I actually beat him on our third game. “I hope you didn’t let me win; I hate when people do that.” 

“No, I promise I didn’t. You got a lot better tonight and it showed, plus I was sort of tired, so I didn't put my all into the last game.” 

“So, you let me win?” I raised an eyebrow, he laughed at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “Call it whatever you want.” 

Minjae walked me back to my room, “Do you want to come in, we can hang out for a little while longer,” Minjae smiled at me, “I would love but I don’t want to rush into anything, Taehyung. So, I think the smart thing to do is end the night here,” he said. He stepped closer to me. He pressed his lips against my cheek, “Thank you for tonight, I am sure it took a lot of you to go out with me, so I really appreciate it.” 

I smiled, my heart overwhelmed with how sweet this man is, “Thank you so much for everything Minjae. You honestly have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

He shrugged, “I’ll get going, I’ll see soon, I hope.” I nodded, “You will,” I mumbled waving him off. 

I opened the door to my room. I saw my reflection in the mirror as I walked in, I was wearing the biggest grin. “You did it, Taehyung. I am so proud of you,” I said myself. 

Jungkook’s POV: 

“Okay, you need to leave now before Jimin gets back!” I said shoving Namjoon towards the door. 

“He won’t be back for another 30 minutes Kook and you should be thanking me for letting you use the room,” he said. I huffed still forcing him to leave. I threw him his jacket and he looked annoyed. “I’m leaving I’m leaving! I swear, just let me put my shoes on.” 

“Where are you going to go?” I asked him as I looked around the room one last time to make sure everything looked okay. 

“Honestly, I don’t know but I’m sure I’ll find somewhere to hang out. I’ll probably go watch Netflix somewhere.” 

“Why not hang out with Seokjin? It is Valentine’s Day and you two like each other so why not?” 

“We do not-” he sighed, “I can’t assume that he feels the same way and I’m not even thinking about feelings right now. Plus, it’s Seokjin, I’m sure he’s on a date with someone.” 

I shook my head, “Nope, Yoongi told me that Seokjin has no plans and he’s spending the night alone so maybe you can finally make a move? What better day than Valentine’s Day?” 

“Any day is better than Valentine’s Day,” he said flatly. “Okay, fine. Hurry up and leave already. Jimin will be here in 20 minutes.” 

Namjoon chuckled before throwing on his jacket, “It looks lovely here and Jimin will adore you even more than he already does once he sees how much effort you put into this. Have fun and be safe!” He smiled at me before heading out. “Thanks, please hang out with Seok-” Namjoon closes the door before I could even finish my sentence. 

Okay Jungkook, breathe. It’s not your first time Alone with Jimin so stop being so nervous. He’s going to walk in and see all the candles and the food and he will cry because that’s just the type of person he is. He will definitely not think it’s weird and make fun of it, he will appreciate it so stop putting yourself down. 

The doorknob rattled which means Jimin was back and I couldn’t help but hold my breath. I looked at the time and he was 10 minutes early. I grabbed the chocolates and flowers. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” I shouted with enthusiasm.

“ha- sorry, I forgot my phone but that was amazing, do it again just like that in 5 minutes!” Namjoon said, standing by the doorway.

I tossed him his phone, “Get out,” I said not smiling, he’s so annoying sometimes. 

A few minutes after Namjoon left again the door swung open and I welcomed a cheery faced Jimin. “Kookie, I passed Namjoon on the way here he told me you were waiting for me!” 

“He what?” I groaned, “I wanted to surprise you and he ruined it.” 

Jimin laughed while he wrapped his arms around me. “Yeah, he apologized for ruining the surprise too. He said it accidentally slipped out but Kookie, thank you so much. I love this and the room looks so pretty.” 

I wrapped my arms around Jimin as well and relaxed, “I’m glad you like it. Namjoon helped me with all the candles, once I begged him to let me use them and listened to his stupid RA lecture about this being against the rules,” I mumbled causing Jimin to laugh again. 

“That’s Namjoon, for ya.”

Jimin took his jacket off and sat on the blanket that was spread out on the ground. “I made your favorite foods, well, I actually bought them because I can’t cook but you know, the thought counts.” I rambled on, Jimin chuckled, “You’re tense, Kook. You need to relax; I truly love what you did for me tonight and stop acting like this is our first time alone.” He called me out on my awkward behavior. 

We spent the night talking and stuffing our faces, I love night like these with Jimin. He was so easy to talk to and he always takes care of me. After we were done eating and cleaned up, we laid on the floor and turned on Netflix. “I am so proud of Taehyung for going out tonight,” Jimin chirped out. I nodded, “Me too, I think he really likes this Minjae guy, but he is also still hurt by Namjoon. He told me Namjoon tried talking to him and he told him he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.” 

“Oh, yeah the night at the bars. I found him sobbing in the bathroom after they talked. He puked his guts out as well, but I can't tell if it’s from crying so hard or the alcohol.” 

“Eh probably both but he does throw up from crying quite often,” Jimin pouted, “Come here,” I breathed out and pulled him into me. “Taehyung is a big boy, he’s got it.” 

“I know but I’ve been there before, and I know how much he is hurting and sometimes I just want to beat Namjoon into loving him the same way, but that boy is so whipped for Seokjin.” 

“And Seokjin is so whipped for him. We all know this and I’m starting to think they both know it too. I told Namjoon he should spend the night with Seokjin, but he doubts Seokjin would want to.” 

Jimin laughed, “These boys are driving me crazy; I want to beat some common sense into all of them. Hoseok and Yoongi included.”

My eyes widened, “What’s going on with them?” I asked, I love when everyone but me is having issues. 

“I guess Hobi is being an asshole to Yoongi or something and Yoongi is tired of it.” 

“Hobi doesn’t seem like the asshole type, are you sure is not the other way around?” 

“I am positive that Hobi is the problem, at least that is what Yoongi told me,”  
I hummed thinking. They really are a bigger mess than I thought, all of them. I looked at Jimin, “I got lucky with you, didn’t I?” I whispered. Jimin grinned, “I can’t say the same.”

“Hey! I am not that hard to deal with!” I playfully hit his arm, “I can honestly say that you never fail to keep me on my toes, and I mean that in both a nice and rude way,” he poked his tongue out at me. 

I grabbed him and pinned him to the floor, “Never a dull moment with me, huh,” he pressed my lips against his cheek, “Nope, never, now get off of me! You’re heavy!” 

I moved off of him and pulled him back down now he was laying on top of me. Jimin played with my hair. “Thank you for everything, Kookie,” he said. “Anything for you, as long as I keep you happy and smiling then I’m satisfied.” 

“You know, for someone who acts very immature with our friends. You’re pretty good at this boyfriend thing.” 

“Boyfriends? Is that what we are?” 

“Oh, I mean I know we never really said what we were but yeah, I think we are? Un-Unless you don’t want to be then I guess it’s fine and-,” I pressed my lips against his, stopping him from talking, Jimin relaxed into me. “Of course, I want to be your boyfriend, Jiminie. Honestly, I have no clue what I’m doing, I just want to be with you and make you happy for however long you allow to.” 

Jimin smiled, “If I can keep you forever then I’ll happily do so,” he muttered before kissing me again. 

Holy shit, I’ll love you forever, Park Jimin. I happily thought to myself as we spent the night taking care of each other in the most gentle and loving way possible. 

Yoongi’s POV:  
“Hoseokie,” I said as I opened the door to his car, “I want ice cream,” I said and he laughed, “Yoongs, it’s freezing out.” 

“When has that ever stopped me?” I pouted and he shook his head smiling, “Okay, whatever you want, baby,” I smiled and leaned forward, pressing a kiss on his cheek. 

Hoseok grabbed my hand and held it as he drove us to the nearest ice cream shop, “Do you really want this before dinner?” 

I nodded, “Yes, I promise I will eat all my dinner too, just get me my ice cream.” Hoseok pulled into the parking lot, “I’ll go order it, be right back.” 

He left me alone in the car and I grabbed his phone to change the music. I smiled at his background, it’s a picture of us from the first year of us being together. I turn on one of my favorite songs at the moment and scroll through his Instagram just for fun. Hobi comes out a few minutes later with a large pineapple sundae. My mouth watered just looking at it. 

“Thank you, baby,” I said taking the ice cream from him as he enters the car. “I don’t know how you do it. It’s way too cold for this. I was shivering at just the thought of you eating this.” 

I shrugged, “So you’re saying that this large sundae is just for me?” I asked wiggling my eyebrows, so excited to take my first bite. 

Hobi chuckled, “No, I really wanted a pineapple sundae as well,” Hobi said taking the spoon and shoving some on his mouth.

“DUDE REALLY? I WANTED THE FIRST BITE!” I shouted; his laugh echoed in the car. “Sorry dude, you should have been faster,” he grinned at me before feeding me some ice cream as well. 

Hobi and I sat in silence for a while as he drove us to our favorite restaurant in town. I continued eating my ice cream and thought of the best thing ever. “Why are you smirking?” Hobi said, tapping his fingers on my leg to get my attention.

“We should have gotten ice cream afterwards so then we could reenact the scene from fifty shades,” I told him, and he chuckled. “Yeah,” he asked, “why can’t we still do that?” 

“We can’t have ice cream twice Hobi,” I said. “No Yoongs, not later, now” he informed me, and I stopped eating. “We’re not having car sex.” 

“Why not? No one is around,” he pulled into an empty parking lot.

He’s right no one is around and to be fair Hoseok and I haven’t had sex in a while and to be fairer, I’d really like to lick ice cream off his chest. 

“Okay,” I breathed out, “Let’s do it,” I bit my lip waiting for Hoseok to respond. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it” 

Hoseok and I sat staring at each other, but no one made a move. The problem is, we’re not okay. We haven’t really talked much in the past few weeks. Since winter break things have been different which means we haven’t had sex since before break. Which means things are bad. Okay, I lied we’re more than just not okay. 

“I - maybe we shouldn’t” he spoke up. I nodded, “Yeah we shouldn’t but also why not? You’re my boyfriend and why can’t I have sex with my boyfriend?” 

“Yoongi, let’s not get into this okay? It’s supposed to be a good night.” 

“Get into what Hoseok? The fact that we haven’t had sex in months?” 

“We’ve been busy.”

“We’re not busy right now.”

“So, let’s have sex.”

“Okay, then make a move.” 

“Okay, I will,” I put the ice on the dashboard and forced my way onto Hoseok’s lap. He moved his seat back so I could have some room, we both ditched our jackets. 

“Okay, your turn,” I said once we both were comfortable. 

Hoseok leaned forward and slightly brushed our lips together. I kissed back, slowly and cautiously. Once the weird tension was gone, we fell into a nice rhythm. Our kisses becoming more intense as we continued. This felt nice, it felt good, it felt like home. 

“Baby, I missed you,” Hoseok said in between kisses, and I nodded, not answering because I didn’t want to stop. 

I let myself go and pushed away every negative feeling I have had towards him for a while. I think of just this moment, being here in his arms, happy and in love. I’m so in love with him. 

Hoseok kissed my jawline, down to my neck. I begin rocking my hips onto him, feeling him hard against turned me on even more. We both let out soft moans. Hoseok started undoing my pants and I let him. His warm hand wrapped around my dick and he begins pumping. 

Fuck, I missed him touching me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is so good- Hoseok suddenly stops and I let out a whimper. “What’s wrong?” I asked, confused as to what just happened. 

“This.”

“What?” I asked, “What do you mean this is wrong?” 

“Nothing, we just shouldn’t do this Yoongi” 

My eyes got teary, “Fuck you,” I said. I zipped my pants up and grabbed my jacket before sliding back into the passenger’s seat. 

I stared at the half-eaten ice cream on the dashboard. I let the tears roll down my cheeks and Hoseok pulled out of the parking lot. 

We ended up going straight to the movies instead of dinner. We both agreed that we weren’t hungry. We sat watching the movie in silence the whole time. Hoseok tried holding my hand but I didn’t let him. I heard him mumbled something but didn’t care enough to pay attention to the actual words. 

After the movie we drove back to campus in silence as well. Once we got into my room that’s when we began our normal bullshit. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” I asked and he shrugged, “No problem, I just wasn’t into it.” 

I scoffed, “Ah, yes, no problem with suddenly not being into jacking off your boyfriend.” 

“Why do you always have to be like this?”

“Be like what? Do you not see how you could have possibly hurt my feelings?” 

“I didn’t mean to, that wasn’t my intention!” he raised his voice at me. 

“You’re unbelievable. We can’t even have one decent night together. Why am I even-” I stopped talking realizing what I was about to say.

Hobi eyes bore into my soul, “Say what you were going to say,” he said sternly. 

“No.”

“SAY IT!” he shouted, “WHY AM I EVEN WITH YOU?” I yelled back and he laughed, “Why are you? Huh? I told you from the beginning that I’m a horrible boyfriend and you still wanted to be with me. Why? Don’t ask me, ask yourself. Because me too Yoongi. I don’t know why we’re even together anymore too,” he snapped at me. 

“You’re a fucking jerk.” 

“I know, you never fail to remind me.” 

I scoffed and started getting ready for bed. I just needed this night to be over. Hoseok was staying over because he promised Seokjin the room to himself. I won’t let a stupid fight with Hoseok ruin Seokjin’s night too. 

“Don’t you even dare think about sleeping in bed with me, take the floor.” I said coldly before turning the light off. I closed my eyes and ignored the sounds Hoseok were making. I finally let the tears I was holding in all night out. I pulled the blanket up to cover most of my face. A room with Hobi in it has never felt so cold.


	16. Playing with my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to the bestest boy, Jung Hoseok! 
> 
> STREAM EGO. 
> 
> Song Recommendation: Just the same by: Charlotte Lawrence

Chapter 16 

*Yoongi POV*

I have never worked my lazy ass as hard as I have this past month. I have been planning and getting everything together for Hobi’s party. It’s not anything too crazy but it needs to be perfect. Hobi and I have been distant lately but not really. It’s hard to explain. Something has shifted in our relationship that is so subtle, but I still noticed it.

Hobi has been busy with his fashion classes lately. Their show is coming up soon and he has been working on different designs and trying to figure out how he wants his collection. With him being so busy means that I can't hang out with him as much as before, but it also means I have more time to get everything right for his birthday party. 

Since Hobi is busy right now, I didn’t think getting blackout drunk was a great idea for his birthday. So instead, I decided to plan it in Jin and Hobi’s common room since my room is just a single and it will be more comfortable. He has to stay out late the night it is going to happen because he has a night class. It doesn’t get out till 8 o’clock which is perfect and gives me two and a half hours to set up everything.

I have been planning with Jin and other people to get everything together. I wanted invited some of his fashion friends that he talks to and take the same classes with. Knowing Tae, really helped me to get those people there. Tae asked me if he could invite a friend and I didn't see the harm in it. Hobi liked people unlike me so he would probably like to make a new friend.

Hobi has been loving the color red, so I decided to get red balloons even though Jin swears that Pennywise is going to pop out of nowhere and kill us. I have no idea why he decided to watch that movie in the first place, as well as not understanding why he is taking it so seriously. I really don’t understand how he gets through life sometimes. Along with the red balloons, I grabbed red plates and napkins, then those black, plastic tableclothes to pull it together. Jin came up with making a red-carpet photo shoot area off to the side which was actually a great idea. For that, I bought a cheap plastic red tablecloth and tapped it down to the floor and plan to hang black streamers in the back. I hope it turns out as good as it looks inside my head. If it turns out right, I know he is just going to love it and spend a good hour taking pictures by himself and other people.

I ordered a small cake since Hobi didn’t love cake and hardly ate it. I doubt people will eat a lot of it as well, but the cake is supposed to be chocolate with a raspberry filling and a vanilla frosting with red roses. On it is will say ‘Happy Birthday Sunshine’ in red. We also will have bowls of chips and a pizza people can munch on. Me and Jin thought since it will be eight o’clock, people won’t be looking for a full ass meal, as well as the fact we have no money. 

To keep people busy and not awkward, there are small games and activities scattered around for people to play. There was Jenga in one corner and then by the table there was a place where you could draw your own outfit. It was meant for people to come and chat and relax. Hobi is a chill, easy going person who loves to have fun and that is what I wanted to show through this party.

Even though there wasn't as much to do as it seemed, I have been stressing out over this party for a month. The thing that I am worried about the most is Hobi’s present. I wanted to make sure I got it right and one day looking through Pinterest, I saw that you could get handwritten bracelets. Before thinking, I bought one and now it is sitting in the back of my underwear drawing having second thoughts on the whole thing. I have been bothering Jin left and right about returning it and getting something else.

“What if he doesn’t like it though? What if I should get something else?” I complain to Jin a couple of nights before the party.

“What are you talking about? Hobi loves everything. You could just give him a flower and it would make his year. Don’t worry about it. It’s a great idea,” Jin consoles me.

“Is this present too much? Should I do something different?” I don’t want to make Hobi uncomfortable.

“Like what?” Jin asked quizzically.

“I don’t knoooowwww! I am about to cry, I am so nervous about this.”

“Please do. I never seen you cry before. Just let me know so I can have a camera ready, so I can show it at your wedding.” I give Jin a look of distaste. Why can he never be serious?

“This is not the time to be joking around. I am being serious right now and you are not helping.” I leaned back on my bed that I am sitting on in my room and lets out a long ass breath. We were in my room figuring out the little details and just finalizing everything. Jin is sitting across from me with a pen and notebook written down what still needs to be done and checking off the things that are already done.

“Look, I’m sorry. You need to realize that he really is going to love it. I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. I am saying it because he is genuinely going to love it. You need to have a little more faith in him.”

I take a minute let this sink in. I guess he is right. We have been together for a while now and Hobi has never hated or disliked any of my presents so far. He will love it. I am just overthinking everything again.

“Okay, your right.”

“I usually am. Never doubt the Great Jin. I know all.”

“Yeah, I bet you do, expect if you know all, why did you fail Earth Science again?”

“First, I didn’t fail earth science, I dropped it-”

“Because you were failing,” I butted in.

“I still didn’t fail it! It was also very hard and challenging.”

“Bro, how was rock plus heat equals lava hard? And that water falling from the sky is called rain?”

“IT WAS HARD! LEAVE ME ALONE!” he crosses his arms and starts to pout on my bed.

I just chuckled. “Yes, of course Great Jin. I am sorry the almighty wise one.” I do a bow from where I am sitting. 

Jin just shakes his head and goes, “You better be sorry.” He closes his notebook and starts to put his different colored pens in his pencil case that has alpacas on it. He has this strange obsession with that animal. The first time I saw his pencil case, I said that they were lamas and he got so upset and gave me a lecture on how they are alpacas.

“Okay, so you are picking up the rest of the rest of the things Thursday and then coming over at six to decorate and set up, right?”

“Yep, that’s the plan. Remember to keep your mouth shut and not spill anything that will make him think something is happening,” I give him a stern look.

“What do you mean? I can hide that he is having a party. I am good at keeping things a secret.”

“If you can keep things a secret, why do you always tell me what you get me for Christmas each year.”

“THAT DOESN’T COUNT! I just get too excited and it comes out of my mouth before I know it.”

“So, how can I trust you again?”

“Why are you so mean to me?!?! I am leaving and going to where I am actually appreciated.”

“Okay, bye Great Jin,” I call out to him before he closes my door.

_______

It’s Thursday, the day of Hobi’s party and I am in Jin and Hobi’s common room starting to set up. It’s six o'clock, which means I have two hours to make sure everything is perfect. Jin is here with me, helping to get everything together. Jin is trying to calm my nerves by making small talk.

“Wait, I never heard of how yours and Hobi’s Valentine's day went,” Jin says. “I asked him and said it was fine but never went any further.”

“You don’t want to know,” I say tiredly. I really didn’t want to be reminded about that night and how that went downhill so quickly. I am hoping that me and Hobi can push it behind us and move on. 

“What do you mean? Did it go that bad?” Jin kept prying. Why can he not leave good enough alone?

“Yeah it went to shit,” I said a little more sharply than I should have. I’m not angry at Jin, but at what happened. “I am sorry, I am not mad at you, just at what happened, and I don’t want what happened that night affect his party because it is not that serious and he deserves to have a great party. So, can we please drop it and not bring it up tonight?”

“No yeah, of course. I am sorry that it didn’t go to plan. If you want to talk about it later on another day, you know where I sleep.”

“Thanks, Jin, but I will be fine. How did your singles Valentine's Day go?” I look over at him and his face goes red.

“Fine, great. Just did laundry and ate some chocolates.” His voice was way too high and he talked a little too fast to be telling me the truth right now.

“Why are you lying to me? Did you have a hooker over or something?” I tease. He lets out a short breathing laugh and shakes his head.

“No, of course not. I don’t need to pay someone to fuck me. If I want to fuck someone, I would just have to take one step into a party and choose whomever I want and step right back out,” Jin brags.

“Huh, sure bet you do. So then tell me what you actually did.”

“I really did do laundry and eat chocolate.”

“And what else?” I press on.

“And watched a movie.”

“What movie?”

Jin takes a pause trying think, “It was the Notebook, I think.”

“Why don’t you remember what movie you watched? Who distracted you?”

Jin opened his mouth to protest and decides to give up. “Namjoon came over,” he says in a small voice. There it is. “But it was because he got kicked out of his room by Jungkook and Jimin and he needed a place to go and I couldn’t leave him there all pouty in the hall and-and-”

“JIN!” I shout his name and he stops talking. “Calm down, I don’t care if you like Namjoon or not. Just don’t lie to me about it because it’s not worth it.” Jin opened his mouth to say something but I quickly cut him off. “Yes, you do like him. Stop saying you don’t and just accept it already.” His mouth closes and nods his head. “So, did anything happen?”

“We almost kissed but my laundry alarm interrupted us.”

“Bro, who gives a fuck about the alarm? Turn that shit off and just kiss the man already. I thought you were the Great Jin?”

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship and if I kiss him, I will definitely ruin the friendship.”

“Jin, he likes you if he was leaning in to kiss you as well. You aren’t going to ruin anything.”

“I am just scared, and he has his own stuff that is going on as well with Tae. I don’t want to step in the middle of that. I just don’t know what to do and make the mistake of going too fast.”

“I get what you are saying. Go as fast as you are comfortable with. If you want this to work out though, you are going to have to talk things out, like what is going on with Tae and him. That is only how both of you guys know what is really going on.”

“If it becomes something more, I will definitely talk with him but right now, it’s too new to sit down and talk about that stuff you know? I just want to get to know him more and become more comfortable with him first.”

“That’s fine. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. That’s all.” I look at the time and a half hour has passed, and panic set back in. “Shit, people are coming in an hour. We need to finish setting this up. What time is the pizza is supposed to be here again?”

“It will be here at 7:45. I made them promise them to be here on time.”

“Okay,” I took a deep breath to calm myself down and set back to work.

We worked quickly putting everything together. We got everything done at 7:30.

Soon people started to arrive. Tae is the first to arrive with his “friend” Minjae. Minjae is super chill and nice. He is clearly into Tae, but I don’t know if Tae is clueless about how that boy is looking at him or he is choosing to ignore it.

I lowkey really want them to get together. I don’t tell anyone, but I love watching those reality shows that people fall in on. The one I binge watch the most is Terrace house. That shit is amazing, but only Hobi knows that side of me.

The next to arrive was Jimin and Jungkook. They were cute, like always, cuddly and full of laughs. At least someone's love life is going great.

Then Namjoon came in. When he stepped into the room Jin immediately started to act a little different and Namjoon shot a look at Minjae. Minjae didn’t see it because he was staring at Tae like he was the only one in the world but Namjoon clearly didn’t like the guy. Namjoon went and stuck to Jin on the other side of the room. I swear if Namjoon started anything at Hobi’s party over whatever bullshit that was going on between him and Tae, I will throw him out of the door in 2 secs. I don’t care if he is the RA or Jin’s future boyfriend, he is not ruining Hobi’s night.

Jackson ends showing up as well. I invited him because him and Hobi have a good time together, especially at parties. I also end up inviting my two other friends, Jaebeom and Youngjae, but they end up being busy and couldn’t make it. Hobi doesn’t really like Jaebeom, saying that he doesn’t trust him, and I thought if I invited him over to show that he is a good guy, he would end up being cool with him. I think that him and Youngjae would get along really well as well. Youngjae is super sweet and reminds me of a sunflower. Things happen for a reason so I will try another time for Hobi to get to meet Jaebeom.

There are a few other people that show up and I am guessing there are the other people from Hobi’s classes. They mostly keep to themselves but talk to Tae as well.

We turned off all the lights and wait for Hobi to come back. We end up waiting in the dark for fifteen minutes till he finally walked in the room and turned on all of the lights. When we jumped out screaming surprise, he screamed back of being scared not expecting us at all. 

“OH MY GOD JIN!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SURPRISE PARTIES!?” Hobi yelled accusing Jin. He had a hand over his heart, trying to calm himself down.

“I didn’t plan this. This was all Yoongi,” Jin explains to him, pointing at me. I smile and walk over to him, putting a party hat on his head and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Happy Birthday Sunshine,” I say to him. He doesn't say anything and just looks around the room, taking everything in. “Do you like it?” I ask, trying to figure out what he is thinking in his head. He looks at me, “Of course I like it. Thank you.” 

I can immediately tell that Hobi is putting on an act right now. He is not being his usual self and is super tense. Something is wrong. I look around and make sure everything is how it was supposed to be. We have the cake, the games, the photoshoot area, our friends, and the gifts. Everything is how I planned it, except his reaction. His reaction is wrong.

I look back at him again and he is wearing a fake smile. Are you kidding me right now? I put so much work into this and planned this for a month and he doesn’t fucking like it?!?! When did he get this ungrateful? What else could he have wanted? He hasn’t even been here for a minute and he already hates it. I am two seconds from saying fuck it all and leaving. 

I look at Jin to see if he sees it too and he looks slightly confused. Jin’s eyes shift to me but quickly shoots away and he immediately goes in his host mode. “Let’s sing happy birthday!! Who has a lighter, to light the candles?” Jin can definitely tell Hobi is acting differently as well. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

Hobi POV:

I was not expecting this was how my night was going to go. I thought that I was going to go back to my room after my night class, take a shower, maybe have Yoongi over if he was not busy, watch a movie, and go to bed. I even stopped by the school’s convenience store to grab ice cream and chips and stuff since I hadn’t had dinner tonight.

I was not expecting to come back to a party with a bunch of people. I was definitely not expecting Yoongi to be the one to plan everything. That is what struck me off guard the most because if anyone who walked in there could tell every detail was put together perfectly. From how it was set up to even down to the colors that were picked. It was the most thoughtful thing that anyone has ever done for me. 

Seeing this made something click in my head. It made me understand how much Yoongi actually does love me. Coming to the terms of me loving Yoongi has put a lot of pressure on me. It is something I have been struggling with because I don’t know if I should tell him or not. It is hard for me to comprehend that someone could actually love me for who I am. I have no idea why I struggle with that, but I do. I finally understand how much Yoongi actual does love me, which is a lot and that scares the shit out of me.

I don’t know why this party made me realize this and not the other million things Yoongi has done for me. My skull might be extra thick, but this party opened my eyes to a whole new side of mine and Yoongi’s relationship. I can’t believe I have been an idiot for this long to finally see it.

He doesn’t deserve to be with someone like me. He deserves someone that will do this for him. He deserves someone that loves his right and is confident in themselves. He deserves better than me and he will quickly realize this and leave me. The fact that he can leave me scares me. I don’t want to lose him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If Yoongi leaves than I will become a nobody.

Throughout the party I try to act as normal as possible. I put on a smile and blow out the candles when I am supposed to, thank everyone for coming, eat a slice of pizza, and engage in small talk with everyone. I thought I was doing a good job until Jin came over to burst my bubble.

“What’s up with you?” he whispered into my ear. “What? Nothing. I am fine,” I say fast.

“Don’t lie to me right now. Something is clearly wrong, and I noticed the moment you walked in the room.” Shit I haven’t been hiding it at all.

“It’s complicated and I can’t explain it right now. I will talk to you after the party. Do you think Yoongi has noticed?”

“He noticed it the moment you got here, I think. I don’t know if you could tell but he hasn’t been sitting next to you the entire night. I don’t know what is going inside his or your head, but I think you need to figure your shit out in two seconds and actually be into this party because he worked his literal ass off for you and you are acting like you don’t care about it at all.”

Have I really been acting like that? I am really the worst boyfriend the world. He is definitely is going to leave me. I am usually really good at hiding the shit that gets in my head. Why I can’t do that right now?

“We are doing presents in a few minutes and if I were you, I would go sit my ass next to the man that planned this party and show him you appreciate it. If there were more people here and people wouldn’t notice that you two left, then I would tell you go suck his dick in your bedroom.” 

My face gets red, “Jin shut up!” I whisper yell at him, hitting him in the chest. “I will go fix this okay?”

“Alright,” Jin says and walks away. I look around the room and take in what is actually happening. Jimin and Jungkook are playing Jenga over in the corner with Jungkook trying to take a block from the tower but ends up knocking the whole thing over. Jimin hits him on the shoulder and scolds Jungkook for ruining the game but he clearly isn’t actually mad with the smile that is plastered on his face.

My eyes then shift to see Jin and Namjoon sitting together. Jin is saying something to him and Joon responds back. I see Namjoon look over at something and makes a face. I look at what he is looking at and I find Tae and Minjae are taking a picture together over at the photoshoot wall. They look cute together. 

I lastly find Jackson and Yoongi talking over on the couch. It was more like Jackson talking and Yoongi listening to what he had to say. He clearly is not really paying attention, but he makes a comment here and there to not be rude. He clearly is upset for how I been acting. I really did fuck up. I didn’t mean to come off like I didn’t like the party, I am just trying to sort myself out.

I take a big breath and let it out. I make eye contact with Jin and give him a nod to tell him that I am ready to do presents. I get up and walk over and sit next to Yoongi on the couch. He shifts to get up and leave but before he has the chance, I put my hand on his thigh to make sure he can’t move. 

“Alright guys!! Let’s do presents!!!” Jin tells everyone and they gather around to make a circle.

“Can we promise there is no vibrators this time?” Jackson asked.

“What?” Minjae asks, looking very confused and slightly worried.

“Oh, for Jin’s birthday party, I gave him a vibrator as his present,” explains Tae. “Oh, Jin I was meaning to ask you how you like it. I really like mine. It’s one of the best things I bought. Thank you Jimin for your recommendation.”

“I didn’t recommend that to you! You went through my shit and found it! Stop spreading lies,” Jimin defended himself.

“So Jin do you like yours?” Tae ask again.

“Um, Tae I am not going to answer that for obvious reasons so if we could move on to presents that would be great,” Jin tries to change the direction of the conversation.

“Is it because Namjoon is here? He would love to know how much you like it. It will give him something to think about later on in the shower,” Tae says either not getting the hint to shut up or not giving a shit. I can never tell with Tae.

“Tae stop talking. Now,” Namjoon steps in. I don’t know how we would be able to handle Tae if Namjoon was not here to rein him in every once in a while.

“Fine, I was just trying to make small talk,” Tae says with a pout. Minjae looked a little shock but what just played out with a blush on his cheeks. I don’t think that kid doesn’t know what he got himself into. 

“Okay, presents. Let’s just start. Here you go,” Jin says to me, handing me a gift. I look at the tag and it says it’s from Jimin. I open it and it is the movie ‘The first Monday in May’. I smile because it is one of my favorite movies and one of the reasons I decided to go into fashion. It made me want to be able to design clothes for people but made me realize if I got big enough, I could spread a message that could help people through clothes. Clothes are more than things that we put on our bodies. I thank Jimin and go on to the next. Tae and Minjae end up getting me a photo album where I can take a picture of all the outfits I design and keep them in it so I can look back at what I accomplished and see how I grow throughout the years. Jungkook got me a shirt that says ‘Fashion’ on it. Jin got me a water diffuser that I can put different oils to help me work and sleep. Jackson got me alcohol which is always appreciated.

I get one last gift and I know it is from Yoongi. I look at the tag and it says, “To: My Everything From: Your Favorite Person.” A small smile slipped on my lips. He was so sweet to me. I open it and inside there is a small box. I open the box and there is a bracelet. It was not just an ordinary bracelet, there was something written on it. It says, “You are the music in my heart”. I really fucked up and it is killing me that I did. How could I have let that happen? Why am I such an idiot? Jin told me so many times that Yoongi loved me more than anything and I just ignored it. Why am I such a dumbass? How could I not realize that I was in love with this man? Am I really that blind?

Someone suddenly coughed and it brought me out of my head. Before I could stop him, Yoongi is getting up from beside me and goes to the bathroom. I feel my face fall slightly but quickly recover and thank everyone for getting me these presents. I pick presents up quickly and put them in my room and come back out. It's late at this point and people are slowly leaving to go to bed. Yoongi still hasn’t come out of the bathroom, so I start to say bye to everyone and help pick up. 

You can hear pretty much everything from the bathroom, so Jin whispers to me, “What the fuck happened?”

“I-I fucked up okay?” I whispered back.

“Clearly, you fucked up. That does not explain what the fucked happened. That just explains how everything played out.”

“It’s complicated,” I try to explain.

“Well you better uncomplicate it real soon. You hurt Yoongi real deep. He planned out this party for you for like a month. Yeah, I helped but he told me how to do everything and made sure it was perfect. He was so worried about it and stayed up at night thinking about how he could make it better. He wanted you to love it and have a good time tonight. That was his only goal.”

I opened my mouth to explain what was going on but quickly shut it when Yoongi came out of the bathroom. “Can we talk?” he asks me and nod and walk into my room. He shut the door behind him. I turn to look at him and I can see how pissed and hurt he is. “Yoongi, I am so sorr-”  
I can’t even finish my apology, nor do I get the chance to even explain myself.

“Oh, your fucking sorry?! Are you really? Do you understand how much I worked on this party for? Do you understand how much time I put into this and how much I thought about this night? And all you say is sorry?”

“I do get how much work you did, and I really do appreciate it.”

“Oh, you appreciate it? I am sorry I was at a different party? Or maybe I am blind, and I missed the part where you actually had a good time. Because all you did was sit there staring off at the wall. You hardly talked with anyone and you didn’t even take any photos at the photo wall or play any of the games that were there. So sure, you really appreciated it Hoseok.”

I have never seen him this mad. Yeah, we have our fights, but this was a whole new level that I was not used to. Usual if he is upset, he tries to talk it out civilly and hear me out, but he won’t even let me speak.

“What the fuck is going on Hoseok?” Yoongi ask me. “You been weird since last semester and I let you be, thinking that you would come to me when you were ready, but this has gone on long enough. I need answers now,” he demands. I opened my mouth and close it only to open it again for nothing to come out. Where do I start? What do I say? I don’t know what I am doing.

“Do you care? Do you understand why I am upset? I do so much for you. I always have, since the beginning when you weren’t even sure if you wanted to be official. Do you regret that we got together? Is that it? Do you even love me? Christ, we have been together for three years and not once have you even told me you love me. Yeah, I don’t say it a lot, but I know it makes you uncomfortable and you get weird whenever I say it. Do you really regret this whole thing?”

“Nononono, Yoongi I don’t regret our relationship. I would never-”

“Are you just dragging me along then? Just using me to get whatever you want? I am just here to fuck when you want? When you want food but too lazy to get it for self? Am I just a nobody to you?”

“No, you are more to me. You mean so much to me. Babe-”

“You are not allowed to call me babe right now. No fuck that. Tell me what this relationship is to you because clearly we are on two different pages.”

“Yoongi, you are getting this all wrong. You misunderstood the whole thing.”

“I MISUNDERSTOOD?!?! YOU ARE TELLING ME I AM THE DUMBASS RIGHT NOW?!?! You have got to be kidding me right now. EVEN FUCKING JIN SAW THE SAME BULLSHIT I DID!!! He tried to help your ass out and hide it from me, but I figured that shit out the second you walked in the goddamn room. I am not fucking stupid and I am not clueless, so don’t fucking dare blame this shit on me. You have no fucking right to make me feel guilty in this.”

“I am sorry, it is not your fault. I wasn’t trying to make it your fault. You did nothing wrong. I just was trying to explain to you that it is not what you think.”

“If it is not what I think than what is it? Because all I came up with is that you don’t actually care about this relationship like I do. So, what I am missing something here?” 

“I do care about this relationship. I never meant to make that impression that I didn’t care. The party was amazing, and I am so amazed you did that for me. I can tell that you put in so much work to it. I am not dragging you along either. Please do not think that. It's just complicated.”

“What’s so complicated? What are you stuck on? What the fuck am I not seeing?” I open my mouth again to explain and nothing comes out because I still don’t know how to say everything. Why is he stuck with a pathetic person like me? He deserves so much more than me, but I don't want him to leave. I don’t want him to go anywhere. I do love him, but I am scared to tell him that. What if he ends up leaving me anyway? What would the point in even saying it?

“You know what? I am going to go to sleep and catch up on homework that I put off for whatever this whole thing was. When you decided you want to actually start talking and actually fix this, let me know.” With that, he leaves slamming the door behind him. This is definitely not how I expected my night to turn out. Happy birthday to me.

Jin POV:

I started cleaning up in the common room when they went into the room to talk. I was trying to be quick as possible so I could just go to bed and pray that everything with these two were fixed by the morning. There was not much left to do, and it was just the decorations left, but those were just going to get thrown away. 

I just to take down the photo wall when I hear Yoongi start yelling. Yoongi doesn’t yell. Yeah I heard him call people over and he has gotten excited where is voice got loud, but he does not yell. Shit is really going down right now and I decide it is better to mind my own business and leave the room.

I quickly grabbed the only box of pizza left and phone and head across the hall to Namjoon’s room. I don’t give myself time to even think about what I am doing and just quickly knock on the door. It takes a couple of minutes for Namjoon to open the door but when he sees me, he looks confused. He already changed into his pajamas and looked ready for bed.

“Hey Jin, what are you doing here?”

“Um, hi. I was wondering if I could hang out here for a little bit. Hobi and Yoongi are kinda fighting and thought they could use some privacy,” I explain to him. “I also got pizza,” showing him the box in my hands.

“Only because you got pizza, is the reason you can come in,” he tells me, opening the door wider for me to come in. I pretend to be offended as I walked in but couldn’t actually stop my stomach from fluttering. 

When I get into his room, I don’t see Jimin there at all. Namjoon must have noticed me look at Jimin’s side of the room because he says to me, “Jimin is spending the night in Jungkook’s room. Tae went over to Minjae’s I guess.” Namjoon’s voice was full of disdain when he mentioned Minjae. 

“So, you don’t like Minjae,” I tell Namjoon. “It’s not that I don’t like him, I just get a bad feeling from him. I don’t trust him at all.”

“Really? I think he is nice. He is easy to talk to. I hope Tae brings him around more.”

“I don’t. He is just going to lead Tae on and hurt him in the end,” Namjoon explains.

“Just like you did with Tae?” Clearly Namjoon is jealous and being overprotective for no reason. Namjoon tried to defend himself but couldn’t come up with anything, “Let’s just drop it.”

“Okay,” I say and grab a slice of pizza and hand it to him and grab one for me. I jump on his bed and start eating. “So, are you ready for this fashion show?”

“No, I can’t believe I am actually doing it to be honest. The shit Tae makes me do is ridiculous. It’s just walking right. It's not that hard.”

“Yeah, it will be done in a blink of an eye. This is what we get for being friends with fashion majors though.”

“Yeah the struggles of having fashion major friends. I should write a book about all of the horrors that I have to put up with. Does Hobi fix your outfits too?”

“A little, but he is so annoying when he hates what I am wearing. He will just keep making side comments and dissing my outfit till I change it. He gives me a headache.”

“If Tae hates my outfit, he doesn’t even let me leave the room.”

“The worst is going shopping with Hobi. Yeah, there are days you just want to go to shop, but sometimes you just want to go in, get a pair of jeans and leave and I can never do that with him. He has to look at everything, I mean everything. Even the little kids’ clothes.”

“Oh, if you think that is bad, Tae one time hated what the mannequin was wearing so much that he changed its whole outfit with everyone around. We almost got kicked out of the store.”

“No way! Oh my god, he is crazy. I almost killed him at the party today. He knows no boundaries at all.”

“I am sorry for that. He just doesn’t think sometimes.”

“It’s fine. I don’t hate him, but I wish he could take a hint.”

“Yeah, you just have to tell him straight up to stop. One time back when we first met and I was going through a rough time because I broke up with my girlfriend and other shit, we went to a party and started to get me laid to literally anyone. He just went up to random people and asking them if they would like to fuck me like he was my pimp. Granted he was very drunk at the time, but I ended up dragging him out of the party.”

“Hobi is the best wing man at parties. I don’t need that much help but since he is super social, he will go get a drink and comeback to let me know who is gay and single and ready to mingle. It just makes my life a little easier. I bet Jimin would be a great wingman as well.”

“Jimin is great to go to parties with. I don’t think we have ever seen him truly let go though. Next party we go to, I am going to try to get that man loose and if he is too crazy, then we can just have Jungkook take care of him.”

“That is so mean, but I am with you. Great plan. You are fun to party with too,” I complement.

“Really?”

“Yeah, like I love partying with Hobi, but all he wanted to do is dance. And I like to dance but I am not as good at it as he is, so he makes me look bad. Even Yoongi is good at dancing. But when me and you are together, we are on the same level and we just work by messing around.”

“You are right,” Namjoon nodded.

“To be honest, I thought you would be boring at parties.”

“Okay, thanks for now dissing me,” Namjoon says, his hand over his heart to show that I hurt it.

“No, it’s because when we first met, you were all Mr. RA and the only thing that mattered was your RM-Rules.”

“Well, you didn’t leave the greatest impression either.”

“What did you think of me when you first met?” I asked, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer to that question.

“When I first met you, you seemed stuck up and I thought your shirt was ugly.” He did not just make fun of my fashion. “It reminded me of grandma's couch.” No, he didn’t.

“My shirt? Did you see what you were wearing? It looked like you had your eyes closed the whole time you were getting dressed.”

“Okay okay, we are not the greatest dressers.”

“No, you are not the greatest dresser. Don’t lump me with you. I am worldwide handsome. I am in my own category.”

“Worldwide handsome?” He was clearly trying not to laugh. “Well I am sorry. I didn’t realize I was in the presence of royalty.”

“Do you still think I am stuck up?” I asked.

“No, my whole impression of you has changed.”

“What do you think of me now?” I am really out here pushing my luck. I have no idea why I even let that out of my mouth.

“I think you are funny, handsome guy who deserves someone who will treat him like he is their whole world.” This man did not just say this to me. This man is going to be the death of me. What the fuck do I say back to that? Before I could come up with something, we here a loud slam of a door from out in the hallway. It was so loud that I jumped. Shit, well maybe Hobi and Yoongi’s issue will not be fixed my morning.

“I should go check on Hobi,” I say as I slip off of his bed. “Keep the pizza. Have a good night,” and I run out of the room. Too much was going on and I am a fucking wimp. I need to get some of that big dick energy and just kiss the man already.


	17. Love is just a game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: How do you sleep by: Sam Smith

*March* 

Yoongi’s POV: 

Since Hobi’s birthday disaster we honestly haven’t spoken as much. We text once in a while and check in on each other but mainly he’s been focused on the up and coming fashion show. Everyone else has been doing their own thing. Taehyung has a new boy toy. Seokjin has been hanging out a lot with Namjoon and Jimin and Jungkook can’t keep their hands off each other. 

I decided that I needed to make my own friends. I was tired of hanging out with the same people and not having Hoseok up my ass gave me some more free time to do whatever the hell I wanted. 

I remember getting Jackson’s number at Jin’s birthday, so I shot him a text and before I knew it was hanging out with him and his friends. Bambam was cool but very high maintenance, he reminded me a lot of Taehyung. I didn’t speak much to Jinyoung and Mark only because I could tell Mark didn’t really like me since he knew I was friends with Namjoon so if Mark wasn’t talking to me then Jinyoung would pretend I did not exist. 

That left Youngjae and JB, they were really cool. I hit it off really well with both of them and suddenly they were my go-to people. We did homework together, met up in between classes, and hung out most nights together. It was nice just being with them and being able to talk to other people that didn’t really know my friends. 

JB was a typical frat boy, alongside Jackson. They partied a lot which meant I did too. I went out almost every other night and it felt just like freshman year again, before Hoseok came into my life. I went out all the time with my friends, coming back at crazy hours of the night. Spent the next day slightly hungover and did it all again. Was I proud of myself for getting back into old habits? Not really, but I had to fill the emptiness with something and that something was my little friend named Jack Daniels. 

No, I don’t have a drinking problem, but I do like drinking my problems away. It wasn’t the need for alcohol that kept me going, it was the need for company. I spent the last three years glued to Hoseok and in the midst of it all I lost myself. I wanted to remember who I was, I needed to relearn everything about Min Yoongi. I needed to surround myself with different people and help me figure out who I am again. 

——————

The sweat dripped down my back as I continued to dance with JB. I wasn't a great dancer; we all knew this but with Jack in my system anything seemed possible. “I wish I met you sooner, you’ve been locked away by your boyfriend and no one seems to be able to get to you.” JB said as we walked off to the bar to get ourselves another round. 

“I’m not locked up by Hoseok, I chose to spend my time with him and began to neglect the outside world. But yes, it is a shame that I haven’t met you and the other guys sooner because the past few weeks have honestly been some of the best few weeks in my life.” 

“Shouldn’t your best few weeks be with that boyfriend of yours?” He asks, raising his glass to his lips. 

I shrugged, “Things with Hoseok have been rocky lately. Our relationship isn’t what it used to be and I’m not really sure what to do about it.” 

Youngjae walked over to us, “JB, are you pestering Yoongi again? Leave the poor boy alone, he does not want to discuss his love life while he is out with his friends.” 

“I am just making conversation, no harm in that right?” 

“It’s fine, I don’t mind talking about Hoseok. It’s not liked its heartbreak sob story, we're just in a weird phase.” 

“Well can we please drop the topic for the rest of the night and get back out there on the dance floor?” Youngjae beamed with excitement, “Sure, let’s go,” JB said. He turned on his heel and walked away. Youngjae and I walked behind him, “Hey, have you ever thought about dying your hair?” Youngjae asked me, I raised a questioning brow. Have I ever thought about dying my hair? Hmm, not really. 

“I’ve been a red head for over three years now. I actually dyed it right before the first time I met Hoseok. So no, I haven’t thought about it because he likes it so much.” 

Youngjae rolled his eyes, “Cute story but what do YOU like? Do you still want to be a redhead or not?” 

“Uh- maybe, I always wondered what it would be like to be blonde.” 

“Perfect, come by BamBam’s place tomorrow around 5.” 

I blinked; do I really want to do this?  
__________

“Yoongi! I like what you’ve done with your hair!” Taehyung says as he sits down across from me. “Really? Don’t you think I looked washed out?” 

“Pfft, not at all. It looks really good on you! Taehyung grinned, “See, I told you look incredible!” JB said. “Thank you, guys. I feel like a whole different person with blonde hair.” I laughed and picked at the pasta in front of me. I am glad that other people really liked my hair and I did too, but I was sort of worried of what Hoseok might think. I should have discussed this with him. It is sort of a big change. 

“Yoongi, is that you? I barely recognized you!” Jimin said as he sat down at the table as well, “Hello everyone, is it okay if Kook and I join you three?” he asked and we all nodded, “Of course, why would we say no.” 

“JB, how’s it going? I didn’t know that you were good friends with Yoongi?” Jungkook asked as he put his backpack down. 

“Oh yeah, we recently got pretty close,” he said placing a hand on my knee. “Yeah, I have been hanging out with him and the other guys as well,” I said. Taehyung squinted his eyes, “Hmm, so did they play a role in the hair change?” 

“Eh, not really. I have always wanted to do this and sort of needed the extra boost.” 

“What’s up?” Namjoon asked, walking over. He sat on the other end of the table away from Taehyung, they have been friendly towards each other recently but not friends. “Seokjin is coming as well. He is in line grabbing something to eat.” 

I awkwardly laughed, “The whole gang's here I see.” 

“Youngjae should be here soon and then we can head out if you want?” JB whispered to me, I nodded, “I don’t want to cut this short but JB and I have plans so we won’t be able to stay here for much longer.” 

Seokjin got here and sat next to Namjoon, “What’s the rush? We haven’t seen you in forever! I miss you around the dorm and Hoseok too. How is he?” 

I blinked, is Hoseok not hanging in the dorm as well? “I uh- We haven’t really spoken much lately,” I began, “We sorta are fighting I guess, I don’t know.”

“Basically, Hoseok is a shitty ass boyfriend,” JB said flatly and I hit his arm. Seokjin narrowed in on me, “What’s going on Yoongi? Why won’t you at least talk to me?”

“Yoongi, why are you even hanging out with this prick?” Namjoon said rolling his eyes. Oh shit, I forgot that JB and Namjoon aren’t big fans of each other. 

All the questions became too much quickly, I owe way too many people an explanation. One that I did not have for myself. I began to panic, I couldn't breathe. I haven’t had a panic attack in forever. I haven’t felt like this in forever. 

“Wait, everyone shut up! Can’t you see that he’s not okay?” I heard Jimin say, “Yoongi, what’s wrong? Just breathe okay?” Jimin kept trying to talk to me but my vision got blurry and I needed to leave. I couldn’t be around any of these people anymore. I abruptly got up and turned around, I felt myself being grabbed by someone. 

“I need you all to leave us alone,” he said, “Yoongs, baby, calm down. I’m here, my love.” He whispered, “What do you need?” He asked me and I shook my head, him. Him. I needed him. I started sobbing and felt myself being engulfed by his arms. He lowered me down to the ground with him and we sat as I cried, and he rocked me. 

“You’re okay, I’m here,” he whispered, “You’re with me, you’re safe.” He kept saying, eventually my crying stopped, and my heart wasn’t racing much as it was before.

“Do you want some water?’ he asked, and I nodded. He quickly pulled his water bottle out of his bag and handed it to me. “There you go, bubs,” he said comforting me. 

We sat in the middle of the cafeteria in silence. He rubbed my back as I continued to calm down.

“Thank you,” I said, and he pulled me into a hug. “I’m always here for you, Yoongs.” 

I closed my eyes and hid my face in the crook of his neck, “Your hair is different,” he muttered, and I nodded. “You look handsome, my honey boy,” he said, and my heart did somersaults. 

“Yoongi!” Seokjin said, “I am so sorry if we all overwhelmed you.” I looked up and my friends were standing around us. JB was still here. Everyone looked shocked or worried. 

“It’s okay, I am not sure what happened. One second I was fine and the next I couldn’t breathe.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to us, as long as you’re okay,” Namjoon said and I smiled. I love my friends and I love the man holding me in his arms. 

__________________

We went back to not talking, after my panic attack. He spent the rest of the day with me and slept over in my room but in the morning, he was gone. All I got was a text saying he had to get back to work and he would see me later but later never came. I sat in the library doing homework when I heard someone shuffling into the booth. “Min Yoongi, good to see my dearest friend in the entire goddamn world.” Seokjin said through his teeth, “How’s it going my lovely boy? Why have you not been answering any of my text and calls? I even took time out my LIFE to email you. EMAIL you. Who the hell does that? I do, when I am desperately trying to get in touch with, dare I say, maybe my second-BEST friend.” Dramatic ass Seokjin rambled on and I rolled my eyes. I picked up my phone and turned the volume up louder so I could block him out. 

I could see his lips moving but not hear anything until he snatches my phone and earbuds away. “You aren’t even listening to me! Am I not important to you anymore? What is this? New hair, new bitch?” 

I groaned, “If you are here to talk about Seokie or my birthday then I am kindly asking you to fuck off because those are two topics I couldn’t give less of a shit about.” 

Seokjin scoffed, “I am here to talk about me. What the hell? Not everything is about you.” 

I dropped my pen that I was using to take notes, “Oh my god, you wanted to talk about you? What a surprise? What’s up?” 

“Okay so I have this friend who is dating another one of my friends and they’re not talking to each other or me. What should I do?” 

“Hm, great question. Why don’t we look it up?” I pretended to search something on my phone, “Ahh, here’s the answer, it says to mind your business.” 

Seokjin rolled his eyes, “Oh come on Yoongs, I am clueless. What the hell happened that night?” 

“Which night because at this point every night, I spend with Hoseok is a bad night.” 

“That can’t be true, didn’t you guys fuck the other night? He came back to the room with a huge hickey on his neck.” 

I scoffed, “Really? Can’t you just accept that we’re not okay right now? Why is that answer not good enough for you? You care way more about this than the two of us do.” Seokjin didn’t respond in words but a pout. “Oh fuck, yes, I had sex with my boyfriend and then we didn’t speak. Isn't that what couples do?” 

“What happened to you guys, seriously.” 

“Seriously, I don’t know.” 

“Well, to warn you, he’s coming this way as I speak.”

Hoseok walked up to us grinning, “Hellooo, I am running on three hours of sleep and way too much coffee,” he said. He slid into my side of the booth and put one arm around my shoulders. “Hi, Yoongs,” he mumbled. He leaned in to kiss me and I dryly pecked him. “Hey, you know I don’t like kissing you after you’ve had coffee.” I made a face of disgust and his evil ass left kisses all over my face. “Seokie!” I groaned, “Okay, you both need to leave if you’re going to distract me. I have to get this reading done and then write my paper.” 

“Fine, but I just wanted to remind you both of the fashion happening in a few weeks. Please come and support me Yoongs. Seokjin will be the star model, and speaking of modeling, I need you for more measurements later tonight.” Hoseok said to Seokjin, “Whatever you need master,” Seokjin jokes. “I’m gonna leave you two love birds alone now and go find Namjoon, bye.” 

Seokjin left after our goodbyes, “So, I heard you got yourself some new friends,” Hoseok said sounding not too thrilled. 

“Well, I am being neglected by my boyfriend and everyone else is busy so yeah, I made a few other friends besides you guys. Why does that matter?” 

“Doesn’t, I am just trying to find out what my boyfriend has been up too while I’ve been busy.” 

“Now that you know I guess you’ll be running off again?”

Hoseok sneered, “I am busy Yoongi. I have been working my ass off for the past few weeks because of this fashion show and you show no interest!”

“I am interested! You don’t tell me anything anymore. Why is this suddenly my fault?”

“See, this is exactly why I haven’t been talking to you because somehow everything gets turned around on me,” he folded his arms and stared out the window off to the right of out booth. 

I started packing my things up to leave, I will not sit here and argue with this jackass again for 500th time. “Move. I have somewhere to be.” 

“Going to your precious JB?”

“Why is that supposed to mean?” I snapped at him, he sat up straight, “I was warned by Namjoon and Taehyung about that asshole. Why are you even friends with someone of that demeanor, that’s not like you.” 

“If you think he’s an asshole you should really reevaluate yourself,” I let out a disgusted laugh, “I don’t care if you like him or not, he’s my friend okay? You have your precious Seokjin.” 

“Don’t bring him into this.” 

“You didn’t need to bring JB into this, yet you did. Unlike you, I won’t be fucking my friend because I’m not being satisfied somewhere else.” I jabbed at him and he looked fired up. 

“Go fuck yourself.” he said, that’s a new one. 

“Gladly, at least I’ll actually like it,” I smirked. 

“Oh, so fucking mature Min Yoongi.” 

“What do you know about being mature?” I asked and didn’t wait for a response. It was clear that he wasn’t going to move out of my way, so I climbed over him. 

“See you,” I mumbled grabbing my bag, leaving him alone in the booth. 

“Hey Yoongi! Are you guys -,” Seokjin began to ask as I walked past the help desk. He was standing talking to Namjoon. 

“Fuck off!” I shouted, not even looking in their direction. I really can’t be around any of these people. 

______________

Hobi’s POV: 

“Maybe this isn’t a good time?” Seokjin said and we sat at our table in our room.  
We were drinking morning coffee and eating muffins. It was Monday and usually we both would be freaking out and running around because Mondays are very busy days but today was a special day and I wanted to relax before tonight. 

It was Yoongi’s birthday and even though we are not having a party, I wanted to make it extra special. I decided that we would recreate our first date. We went bowling and instead of some fancy restaurant we ended up seeing who could eat the most chicken wings. We were supposed to do this for our anniversary and yeah, we sort of did but this time it was extra special because I got him a great gift and I was finally going to tell Yoongi how I felt. 

We have been rocky for the past few weeks because I have been a coward hiding my true feelings. I am so in love with him and I am tired of all these fights due to misunderstandings and miscommunication. 

“Why wouldn’t it be a good time to tell him I love him?” 

“Maybe because you guys have only been seeing each other recently to have sex and then not speaking again afterwards?” 

“What? Who told you that? That’s not what we have been doing.” 

“Well Yoongi said you guys had sex the one night and haven’t spoken since so I assumed that’s what your relationship has turned into.” 

“For sex?” I questioned him, he shrugged, “I don’t know what the hell the is going on Hoseok. You both have been shutting me out.”

“I am not using Yoongi for sex, we just haven’t been talking because it always leads to fighting. Yes, we did have sex that one time but that was the first time in like 2 months.” 

“You guys haven’t had sex in 2 months? Oh, this is bad. I get it now; your attitude is because you're sexually frustrated.” 

“Seokjin, shut the fuck up. Yes, things have not been good with Yoongi and yes, we only had sex once in two months, but I know how to fix things,” I pulled out the box containing the promise rings. “I’m finally going to tell him I love him, Jinnie.” 

Jin took his notebook and hit it across my head, “Are you stupid? If you guys are NOT okay, like really not okay, as in not even having sex. Giving him this and telling him you love him will not fix anything.” 

I rolled my eyes, “What do you know? You never had a boyfriend.”

“Fine, be like that then. I’ll be here when your plan goes to shit,” he said taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Wow, love the support,” I picked up my things and headed towards the door. “Have a good day,” I said slamming the door behind me. 

I spent the day doing a few last-minute errands. I knew Yoongi will be done with his day at 5 so I went to his room and let myself in. I laid down on his bed and waited for him to come home. 

I felt my eyes getting heavy, so I let myself take a nap, but my nap turned into way more than 20 minutes. When I woke up it was 8pm and Yoongi wasn’t here. There were no signs of him coming in while I was asleep either. I called him and his phone went straight to voicemail, I tried texting him and the messages weren’t going through. Why did he have is phone off? 

I wait another hour or so and got irritated when he still wasn’t back. I had no choice but to sit and wait for him to be back because eventually he would come here, right? 

When the door finally swung open, Yoongi came in basically being carried by JB. What the hell is this? Yoongi gasped, “Baby, I missed you!” he said his words slurped. Great, he was drunk. 

“What are you doing here?” I hissed at JB, I went and grabbed Yoongi from him. “We went out for his birthday because you’re a horrible boyfriend and forgot about it.”

“I didn’t forget, why the hell do you think I’m here? I was waiting for him to get out of class because I had- wait I don’t need to explain anything to you!” 

“I don’t get why you’re upset; you’ve been treating him like shit and now you think you’re so mighty because you planned to take him out for his birthday?” 

“You know nothing about me or my relationship with Yoongi so why don’t you fuck off?”

“Stop fighting, please!” Yoongi yelled, we both turned our attention to Yoongi sitting on the bed. “Hoseok, why are you so mean?” he asked, and I scoffed, “Really, I’m the mean one? What exactly were you planning on doing after bringing Yoongi back here? He’s clearly wasted and isn’t thinking straight and if it’s true what I heard then you’re the one we should be attacking right now,” I barked at JB.

“If you’re implying that I was going to sleep with him then you’re wrong. I would never do that, I’m not like your friend Namjoon.”

“Get out, I never want to see you again and never speak to Yoongi again,” I said and he shook his head, “I’ll leave but let me tell you, Yoongi is at a point where he will choose me over you. He already did so today, so what makes you think he won’t again?” He took a jab at me one last time before leaving, shutting the door behind him. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Yoongi asked me, “Why do you treat me like this?” he mumbled, tears rolling down his cheek. 

“I didn’t do anything. What are you even talking about? Why are you acting like this towards me lately?” 

“Fuck, Hoseok. I just want us to be okay. I missed you so much today, it’s my birthday and I didn’t even get a text from you. I thought you forgot, and you didn’t care about me anymore and-,” Yoongi was now sobbing. 

“Baby, I’m sorry, I wanted to surprise you and I should have said something to at least let you know. It’s my fault, I’m sorry.”

“You’re only being nice to me now so you can have sex with me and of course I’m an idiot to just let it happen.”

“Yoongi, I wasn’t even thinking about sex. Do you really see me like that?” 

Yoongi nodded and continued to cry, “Sometimes I feel like that’s all you want me for.” 

I shook my head, “Of course not, Yoongi. Why would you ever think that? Did JB put this stupid shit into your head?”

“NO, stop bringing him into this. I brought this into my head for months now that’s all I’ve been thinking, and I don’t know, it just feels like that sometimes.”

“I’m sorry for making you feel like that. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to Yoongi, you should know that. I wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.” 

“Sometimes, I don’t want to be with you anymore,” he whispered, not looking up at me. 

I bit back tears; he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me. Seokjin was right, I’m so glad I didn’t say anything. I fucked up, I’m a horrible boyfriend. 

“But other times, I want you and only you, forever Seokie,” he looked at me, his eyes wet with tears. “I haven’t felt like that in so long though, and I want to again. I want us to be okay,” he started sobbing again, I sat down next to him. 

“I’ll fix this, I’ll be better. Anything for you, Yoongs,” I whispered, pulling him into a hug. 

I need to fix this, or I’ll lose the only person I’ve ever loved. 

___________________________________

“Taehyung, stop poking me with pins!” Namjoon groaned again, “Seriously, it hurts, and I know you are only doing it on purpose!” 

“This is no way to be talking to your designer! I can have you walking down that runway in the most hideous outfit you have ever seen in a blink of an eye.” 

“Owe- Taehyung!” 

“That one was your fault, maybe if you stopped moving around it wouldn’t keep happening,” Taehyung and Namjoon kept arguing. 

I have no idea why Taehyung even wanted to keep working with Namjoon. He could have asked anyone else to be a model but nope, he still stayed with Namjoon. The meetings have been miserable, they both have weird resentment towards each other, and they keep bickering. 

“Listen, this is the last fitting before the final show, after this we can go back to not speaking. Just let me fix the measurements and then we can be done for the day.” Taehyung said calmly to Namjoon. 

“Okay fine, I need to be ready by 8am tomorrow right?” He asked. “Yes, so do you Seokjin,” Taehyung said making sure that both our models knew not to be late. 

“Don’t worry, Hoseok will drag me out of bed bright and early,” Seokjin mumbled and I smiled, “Of course, tomorrow is the big day. Tae and I have been working our asses off for this and I can’t wait for all my hard work to pay off when people are cheering for my looks.” 

“You’ll definitely win this Hoseok, your designs are amazing. I am so proud of you.” Seokjin said, “Hey! Don’t say that in front of the competition.” Namjoon sneered at Jin.

“Oh, sorry, Taehyung you will do amazing as well. You both are so talented,” Jin grinned. “Nice save,” Taehyung chuckled. 

The door of out dorm open and Yoongi walked in with bags of food. 

“Hello, how are my designers today?” Yoongi said smiling. “Wow, someone is in a good mood,” Jin commented. 

I stopped working on Seokjin’s outfit, “Take a break,” I said and went over to Yoongi. “Hello baby, how are you?” I said wrapping my arms around him, “I’m okay, I wanted to stop by with food because I know the four of you have been busy all day and probably haven’t eaten.” 

“Thank you, you really didn’t need to, but it is highly appreciated,” Taehyung said digging into the bag pulling out containers of food. 

“I’ll get plates,” Namjoon said, Yoongi gave me a questioning look and I shrugged, “You’ve been hanging around here a lot for you to know where the plates are,” I said and Seokjin nudged me. 

“Yeah, I guess. We have been hanging out a lot lately, but also the plates are right there on the shelf. Anyone would notice them.” 

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, Joon,” Taehyung said laughing. “Just because we hang out doesn’t mean anything, so the three of you need to shut the hell up.” 

“No need to get so worked up, we are just kidding,” Yoongi said holding his hands up in his defense. 

“Sure, you were kidding,” Seokjin pursed his lips and squinted his eyes not believing him for one bit. 

“I’m going to eat all this food myself if you guys don’t stop fooling around,” Joon threatened.

“You can’t or you won’t fit into you outfit for tomorrow!” Taehyung exclaimed. 

The bickering started all over again. Seokjin started plating food and I turned to Yoongi, “So, are you inviting your friends to the party tomorrow might?” 

Yoongi shrugged, “Probably, I just wanted to be with you tomorrow night, anyways.” 

I sat down and pulled Yoongi onto my lap, “Hmm, you’ll spend the night tomorrow?” I asked, Yoongi and I haven’t slept together where we both actually wanted to in a while. Ever since his birthday we have been working on fixing on relationship and things have gotten better. We didn’t want to rush into anything and been taking this very slow again but if Yoongi is willing and comfortable then I am ready to sleep together again. 

Yoongi grinned, his cheeks were slightly flushed realizing what I was hinting to, “Depends on what place you come in tomorrow.” 

I laughed, “What place do I have to get for me to be able to f-” 

“Hoseok! We are eating here!” Seokjin yelled, “Oh stop acting so innocent, the three of you are in no shape to being disgusted by us!” Yoongi spat back at Seokjin. 

I chuckled, kissing Yoongi on the cheek. Things felt normal again and I was so happy. Maybe we will be okay. 

We continued working for another hour or so before we had to head to dress rehearsal for the show. That lasted a good 3 hours but afterwards, my bed never felt so comfortable. 

______________

“I need all models lined up!” The stage manager shouted. 

I looked at Taehyung and gave him a big thumbs up from across the dance studio. We were using the studio as our ‘backstage’, the models have been practicing walking in their outfits and posing. I have been making quick alterations to most of my outfits, but the time has finally come, and the models were ready to walk.

“You’re going to be great out there!” I said to Seokjin who looked like he was about to pass out. “I know I will look great, but I don’t feel so great right now,” he said nervously. 

“Just remember they’re focused on what you’re wearing not necessarily you and yes that sounds kinda mean but it’s not supposed to be, the clothes look good, you look good, all you have to do is walk,” I said to him trying to ease his nerves. He nodded, “Okay, well I guess it’s go time,” he said before walking out of the dance studio with the rest of the models. 

The way this works is each designer has two groups of models for two different categories. I had to make 12 designs all under one main concept. Your concept could be anything you wanted it to be. My theme was human rights and I picked something on the LGBTQ community. Seokjin had the main outfit that said love is love while everyone else’s outfits were based off of the different colors of the rainbow. 

This was an important theme for me because I haven’t spent more than half of my life trying to figure out exactly who I am and who I’m supposed to love. It wasn’t until high school I realized I could love anyone I wanted to and it wasn’t until now that I was actually in love with someone, not just someone, but probably the best person I have ever met in my life. 

I looked at it from behind the curtain and Yoongi was sitting in the front row along with our other friends. He is and will always be my number one supporter and for that plus many other reasons I completely and utterly in love with his man. 

Once all of your models walk solo, they all make one more appearance on stage with the designer in the back. Walking out I was so nervous because now everyone has face to the name. Everyone knows I’m behind all these designs that everyone is wearing, and it sort of made me sick to my stomach. On the wall back I quickly glanced at Yoongi. He was grinning and clapping, when he noticed me looking at him, he blew me a kiss. I couldn’t help but laugh, he’s so cheesy sometimes. 

The fashion lasted for about three hours and when it was finally time to announce the winners, I thought I was going to shit myself. Namjoon, Seokjin, Taehyung and I all stood in the back together hugging.

“You both did an amazing job, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, you both are winners to us, and I know it’s cheesy but it’s true,” Seokjin said. “We’re so proud of you both and we’re so happy that we were able to be a part of bringing your visions to life,” Namjoon added. 

“Second place goes to Flora and Fauna by Kim Taehyung,” the announcer said through the microphone. 

“Oh my god!” Taehyung’s eyes lit up, “Stop standing here and go on stage!” Seokjin said. “Oh right,” Taehyung clumsy walked away. The crowd cheering as we went up. 

“Okay, it’s time for the first-place winner,” I said, “I think I’m going to puke.” 

“And the first-place winner is Human Rights, Jung Hoseok,” 

“No way!” I shouted, “Oh my god, oh my god!” 

“GO!” Seokjin and Namjoon yells at me, I headed towards the stage. Everyone cheering for me and the other winners.

Taehyung hugged me once I got on. “We did it!” He beamed and I laughed, I’m so glad all this stress is over and I’m ecstatic that my designs came in first place. I honestly didn’t think my work was good enough but today really gave me the confidence I needed again.

—————— 

An upbeat song came on and I downed my drink before heading towards Yoongi. He hates dancing, he does it for me though and it is one of the things I love about him. He was standing with Jimin and Jungkook by the bar talking about who knows what. Jin laughed at me, knowing my intentions and he followed behind me. Like I said before I am the life of the party but when Jin and I together, we can really shut a place down. Jin grabbed Jimin and Jungkook, pulling them out on the dance floor. Yoongi rolled his eyes a small smirk playing on his lips. “Will you dance with me, baby?” I asked bending forward to whisper in his ear, Yoongi leaned back into my chest, I slowly swayed my body and he laughed, “Only because it’s you.” A grin now placed on his lips; I couldn’t help but smile as well. I grabbed his hand pulling him behind me, once to the dance floor I spun around and grabbed him. He wasn’t expecting me too and let out a small shriek. I’m sure he was a little uncomfortable, but he closed his eyes and let the music guide his body. 

Min Yoongi is the prettiest thing and I am so lucky to call him mine. 

I broke out of my trance when I felt a push, “You’re the one who wanted to dance Seokie,” Yoongi whined. I laughed and began dancing with him. We both kept smiling and laughing. It felt good to be able to let loose. The fashion show was really getting to me but now that it is over, I couldn’t feel any better. Tonight, the only thing I'm focused on is my boyfriend. 

“HEY!” I heard Taehyung shout as he walked in with Minjae. They both immediately joined us on the dance floor. “What took you so long?” I asked, yelling over the music. Tae grinned at me and Minjae wouldn’t make eye contact. I am sure they didn’t do much, Taehyung told me they were taking things slow, but I like teasing them both. I gave them a sly smirk, “Hm, I see. Yoongi’s getting the best blo-, owe!” I said, Yoongi elbowed me in the ribs. Taehyung and Minjae laughed at my pain but quickly got into the music and started dancing as well. 

I looked over at my best friend and to my surprise he wasn’t with Jimin and Jungkook anymore. He was having some type of dance battle with Namjoon, both of them constantly laughing and leaning on each other after showing off their moves. I let out a snort, “This is not something you see everyday” I gestured over to them and Yoongi was cracking up. “I thought I was a bad dancer but Namjoon might have taken the crown,” Yoongi giggled. 

“The poor boy has two left feet,” I mumbled and Yoongi nodded. “Jin seems happy,” Yoongi said in a calm voice as if he’s relieved. Me too. Jin needed someone and I am really hoping that Namjoon does not fuck this up. But, from what I know, I don’t think he will, they both need each other whether they want to admit it or not. 

I felt Yoongi wrapped his arms around my waist, “So what were you saying earlier about me getting the best-” I quickly cut him off by pressing my lips to his, he pressed his body harder against me. Fuck, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the nearest bathroom. 

Not the classiest way, but the words that’ll be spilling out of Yoongi’s mouth is anything but classy. 

Once we are done, Yoongi leaves the bathroom before I do. As I step out of the stall to wash my hands, JB walks in. I rolled my eyes, “Great,” I mumbled. 

“Jung Hoseok, how are you? I just saw your pretty little boyfriend out there; you guys seem to be better.” 

“We’re fine, mind your business,” I grumbled, turning around to face him. 

He shook his head crossing his arms, “I really don’t see what he sees in you, he could do much better. I would treat him so much better than you ever will.” 

“Do you really think that? Yoongi might be your friend but he would never be with someone so arrogant like you.” 

“Hoseok, we both know I would treat him better in every way.” 

I scoffed trying to walk past him, “Oh come on, I think we both know I’d fuck him so much better than you do. Sweet little Yoongi under me, moaning for me, and when he cums, he cums for me screaming my name,” JB says. “You’re disgusting, going around fantasizing about someone else’s boyfriend,” I spat at him, “Seriously, stay away from Yoongi.” 

“Yoongi would let me, too. Once he realizes how shitty you are and he leaves you, he’ll be mine.” 

“Hoseok, what are you doing?” Yoongi walks into the bathroom seeing me and JB staring at each other intensely.

“Yoongi! I was just having a chat with your boyfriend. Sorry for taking him away from you,” JB said sweetly. I scoffed, what a fucking asshole. 

“I’m coming, baby,” I said to Yoongi, “Let’s go home,” I said to him again, turning around. 

“Oh, sure, see you JB!” Yoongi said, I rolled my eyes on the way out. 

“You okay?” Yoongi asked me.

“Why do you hang out with jerk? You do realize he likes you?” I ask him.

Yoongi laughed, “Don’t be ridiculous, JB would never and even if he does, I don’t care.” 

“Okay, whatever,” I said as we walk out of the bar. 

“Stop being like that. Don’t let him ruin your mood. You won today, remember?” Yoongi said comforting me. 

“Yeah, you’re right, I honestly forgot. It’s been a day,” I mumbled. 

Yoongi wrapped his arms around my neck, “When we get home, I’ll cheer you up, okay?” Yoongi smirked and I couldn’t help but smile along. I pushed what happened with JB out of my head. “Hmm, how do you plan on doing that?” I played along with him, “I’ll start off wrapping my pretty little mouth around you co-,” 

“HEY! YOU CAN’T LEAVE WITHOUT US!” Seokjin yelled as he walked out of the bar with the rest of our friends. 

Fuck you, Seokjin, fuck you. I groaned and Yoongi chuckled, kissing my cheek softly. 

“Sorry, come on we already called a cab!” Yoongi shouts back, “When we get back can we play uno?” Jungkook asked Yoongi and he nodded. “Of course, we can,” he replied. He gave a ‘I’m sorry’ look. 

I hate our friends sometimes.


	18. Something raw, something real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: In the Air by ARCADES

Seokjin’s POV:

*March* 

Namjoon and I laid together in his bed. We were discussing our favorite childhood foods. Not really sure how we got here, not the conversation but our friendship as a whole. We never really discussed anything, we just continued hanging out and eventually we seemed to be pretty close. After the fashion show last week, Taehyung went back to not really speaking to him. Everyone had their own life stuff going on. Yes, I was also focused on school too, but it was a personal goal of mine to form a good friendship with Namjoon. I’m not sure if he feels the same, I want to say that he does based on stuff he has said or done but I also can’t assume his feelings for me. All I know is I may be ready to possibly talk to him about us soon. 

Or later, maybe later.

“You’ve never tried ketchup on your grilled cheese?” He asked me and I shook his head. “No, I never thought of it. I don’t use ketchup,” I said and he frowned. “That’s a shame, you should try it.”

“Is that what you want me to cook for you, grilled cheese,” I asked. 

“Definitely not, I can make us grilled cheese, but I am not cooking with your hotplate. I can’t break my own rules.” 

“You drink in the building all the time with us.”

“That’s different, Seokjin. If I cook, I always burn something and we’re going to get both of our asses in trouble.”

“Okay fine, then you can make it some other time and I’ll make it for us this time, just bring the ketchup,” I said and he nodded. “Deal” he held out his pinky and I hesitates before wrapping my own around his. “Don’t make me regret this.” 

“You won’t, I promise.” 

——

“Do you want to go to the movies with me?” I asked I stood at his doorway all dressed and ready to head out. 

“When’s the movie?” he asked. He stood in his pjs and his hair made it obvious he just woke up. 

“In like 20 minutes, I’ll drive us.” 

“How long did it take you to decide whether you will ask me or not?” he laughed. “I’ve been standing in front of your door for about an hour. Jimin said hi to me both times he passed me to go in and out. 

“Hi Seokjin!” Jimin shouted from inside, “Can I come to the movies too?” he asked. He was teasing me. He knew I wanted to go alone with Namjoon. It’s sort of a date without it being called a date. I’ve confided in almost everyone on if I should ask him or not. 

“Can we go to a later movie? I sorta just woke up,” he asked me, and I nodded. “Sure there’s one in about another hour.”

“What movie is it?” he asked, and I froze. I don’t know. I just asked him to go to a movie. I didn’t even know any of the times, I didn’t think he would say yes. 

“Uh- Frozen 2,” I blurted out and instantly regretted it. 

“Okay, I’ll be ready soon and then we can head out! Come in, if you want or- or go back to your place I mean it’s right there so whatever seems easier for you,” he rambled awkwardly. I sighed and walked into his room. We’re a mess. 

When Namjoon left I turned to face to Jimin. “I have one important question,” he said, smiling. 

“What is it?” I grumbled, still not over my movie choice. 

“Do you want to build a snowman?” he burst out laughing. 

“JIMIN! I forgot to think of a movie to see. I don’t even know what movies are out right now. I was more worried about the asking part that I didn’t think of anything else, I’m so pathetic,” I agonized as I flopped down on Jimin’s bed. 

“You’re not pathetic, at least not that pathetic,” he chimes in and I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, but can you look up the movie showings, so I know exactly when the movie starts,” I asked him. 

Jimin types into his computer quickly, “One starts at 8:20, it’s currently 6:30 so you have some time, more than enough time actually.” 

“Thanks, we could just hang out here until then I guess. I don’t even want to see frozen. I’m surprised he even agreed,” I sat up and fixed my coat. I didn’t want to form wrinkles in anything. 

“He would say yes to anything as long as he gets to be with you, you do know, that right?” 

“Whatever.”

“Have you guys talked about anything yet? Maybe you should tell him how you feel and he will confess his love for you too.” 

“He doesn’t love me. Maybe strongly likes me but definitely doesn’t love me.” 

“Do you love him?” 

“Of course not, I just really really like him, and I can’t stop thinking about kissing him.” 

“Here’s an idea, just kiss him. I doubt he would turn you down.”

“No, probably not, but I did that last time something happened. Only because we were drunk, and I didn’t want to do something we would both regrets.” 

“Ahh, I think I know what night you’re talking about it. Namjoon freaked out about it as well.” 

“He said he wished we continued and, fuck, me too.”

“Then make another move, seriously stop being a coward and get yourself a man!” Jimin giggled. “Maybe,” I said ending our conversation before Namjoon walls back in freshly out of the shower. His towel hangs low on his waist, his hair was dripping wet clinging to his forehead. He looked so good; I’m probably actually drooling. 

“Seokjin!” Namjoon said loudly and I jumped, “Huh?”

“Turn around or close your eyes, anything but gawk at me,” he retorted. “I’m not - whatever,” I closed my eyes. Jimin let out a small chuckle and I elbowed him. 

My eyes fluttered open, too soon. Namjoon had his back facing us, his bare ass hanging out. I gasped, fuck. I blew my cover. I felt my face turning red. I quickly stood up. “I-I, text me when you’re ready!” I said, letting myself out. 

“He’s something,” I heard Jimin say through a laugh, Namjoon chuckled. He chuckled! 

I quickly opened my door and shut it, I let out a sigh. “You’re so stupid Seokjin,” I huffed. 

I looked up to see the other 4 idiots playing uno. “What the hell happened to you?” Yoongi said. 

“He saw Namjoon naked and ran for the hills,” Jungkook piped up. 

Taehyung and Hobi couldn’t stop laughing and Yoongi just smirked at me. He’s never going to let me live this down. 

“Boy, words do travel fast around here,” I grumbled. I walked past everyone and headed to my room. I laid in the dark ignoring what was happening in my pants and tried to think about anything, anything at all, besides Namjoon’s naked figure in front of me. 

There was a sudden knock on my door, I walked over and swung it open, “If you’re going to say anything about me seeing Namjoon naked-” I stopped talking because in front of me stood Namjoon, fully clothed. I could see the other guys behind him peeping to see what will happen. 

“You, you said to text you, but I wanted to come here and make sure you were okay?” he said quietly. “Why the fuck would I not be okay?” 

“You just stormed out without saying anything really. I should apologize but it’s kind of your own fault for opening your eyes,” he shamelessly said. 

“The movie doesn’t start until 8 so we have some time. I can come get you when it’s time to leave,” I said trying to send him away. I’m so glad it’s dark in here and hopefully he couldn’t see me rocking a semi boner. 

“Oh, I mean we can just hang out until then, unless you have something else you need to take care of?” 

I knew exactly what he was hinting to and I’m sure my face was bright red, “No, there’s nothing I need to take care of. Why would you think that?” I cleared my throat. “We can hang out here,” I stepped aside to let him in. Before I shut the door, I quickly gave everyone out there the middle finger while they shot me thumbs up and grinned. 

“Where’s the light?” Namjoon asked. “NO, uh don’t turn it on. I have a headache,” I quickly came up with a lie. 

“So, were just going to sit in the dark?” he asked me. “Why not? We’re conserving energy this way. We’re helping the environment.” 

“Hm, yes. We love saving the planet,” Namjoon said. He sounded like he was closer than he should be. There was some faint light coming in through the blinds but not much, nothing that can actually help us see much. 

I stepped closer and bumped into Namjoon, he didn’t move. “Seokjin, stop acting weird,” he muttered. “I’m not acting weird, I’m being myself.” 

He laughed, “Do you really want to stay here in the dark like this?”

“Please,” I said, and he chuckled again. “Okay, fine,” I felt him grabbed my hand and dragged me over to my bed. We both sat down. “You know you don’t have to be embarrassed,” Namjoon said after a few moments of silence and us both just scrolling through our phones. 

“Embarrassed of what?” I asked, trying to play it off.

Namjoon pulls me into him, I lay my back on his chest. He places his hand on my thigh and gently runs his fingers across it. My boner was long gone now but if he kept going like that it might come back. 

“I know you had a boner, mostly because one) I was told by our friends and two) because I’m not stupid. That’s why you’re acting weird,” he said, his hand moved to the inside part of my thigh, he continued caressing me but then stops leaving his hand so close to my dick. Too close to my dick.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to look,” I said shyly. 

“It’s okay. Did you like what you seen?” I could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“Feeding your own ego, not a cute look.” 

Namjoon chuckled and continued rubbing my thigh again, inching closer to my dick. “Not really, you just made it very obvious that you did,” he teased me.

Namjoon drew circles into my thigh. I was so turned on and felt myself getting hard again. I’m so weak for him, just the slightest thing turns me on. 

“Joon,” I breathed out, “S-stop teasing me.” 

“I like making you feel this way. Remember the last time you moaned for me? That was so damn hot, you’re so damn hot.” 

I let out a quiet hum in response thinking back to our drunk night. Months ago, nothing like that has happened since then. Until now, “Don’t be embarrassed, you turn me on all the time. You give me boners every goddamn day. You’re so hot, you don’t even know what it does to me.”

Holy shit, holy shit, I needed him to touch me. My hips bucked up and I let out a loud moan, “N-Namjoo-oon.” 

“Seokjin, you have to be quiet,” Namjoon said in his normal voice. “Sorry, but I really need you to touch me,” I said grabbing his hand and moving it to my dick. 

His fingertips barely touch me, I was still clothed, but just knowing he was going to send me to places. I moaned again by just the thought. 

“They have to be fucking!” Jungkook gasped from outside the door. 

Namjoon and I pulled away from each other. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, “Why are we friends with them again?”

“Well, I can't hear anything because you’re hogging the door!” Taehyung hissed.

“Follow me,” I said pulling Namjoon to the door, “Just got along with it.” 

“Joonie, yes, right there,” I faked moaned, I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing. It sounded so fake, but they were so stupid. 

“Oh my gosh, they’re fucking! Someone go get Jimin!” 

Namjoon quietly laughed as well. I hid my face in the crook of his neck trying to muffle my laughs. He started playing along with me, “Fuck, Seokjin, you feel so fucking good.” 

We continued making weird moaning noises and trying not to laugh but when I couldn’t take it anymore, we both did one last moan before opening the door to find the five of them sitting right in front of my door. Pressing against each other trying to hear through the door. 

“Do you think we’re stupid?” I asked. “Are you guys in middle school?” Namjoon asked right after me. 

“Uh- they made me do it!” Yoongi said, his comment caused everyone to start bickering. I sighed and looked at Namjoon, “Let’s go,” I said, and he nodded following me out of the dorm. 

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say as we walked towards the car. “For what?” I asked, turning around to face him. 

“You know, for, what happened inside,” he said. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his wrist pulling him towards me. “Joon, stop apologizing for things! I should say I’m sorry too, but I’m not because we both like it and wanted to, right?” 

“Yeah, of course I wanted to,” he pulled his wrist away and wrapped his arms around my waist, I really wanted to,” he muttered quietly in my ear, his lips brushed against it and I swear I my legs turned to jelly. 

“Me too. Maybe we can do it some other time?” I asked. Why did I ask that?

“Mhmm, and next time be alone,” he added and I laughed. “I can't believe they heard me.” 

“That’s your own fault. I told you to be quiet.”

I hit his arm, “I tried, I really did.” 

“You were so loud without me barely doing anything. Just imagine once I actually-” 

“Shut up shut up shut up!” I said smacking his arm again, he continued teasing me as we drove to the movies. 

————

The following Thursday night Namjoon and I sat in the lounge doing homework. He found me grading papers here, so he decided to join me and I had no reason to say no. 

The movie ended up being really good and Namjoon did not complain at all, expect when this one little kid ran into him and made him drop his popcorn. The look on his face was priceless. 

We haven’t really talked about what happened and the more I think about it maybe we should keep it like that. Putting all weird sexual tension aside, Joon and I are great friends. Why ruin it with some hook up? 

“Have you talked to Taehyung?” I asked him and he shook his head. “We only interact with the group, never alone. Even then it’s not the same but I’ve kinda got used to it,” he shrugged his shoulders. He looked unhappy about the situation and it made me sad as well. If I ever lose my friendship with Hobi my world would collapse. 

“Things will get better, I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah, sure. What’s your plan after school?” he asked me and I laughed. “Don’t know and I’m terrified. Hopefully get a good job. Will probably have to substitute teach for a little while. You?”

“I’ve officially decided and applied to law school.”

“Big shot lawyer, hmm?” 

“Is that your type?”

“Money is my type, so make a lot of that and we can discuss something,” I joked with him. 

“Seokjin, I’m not really good at this and I don’t really know how to say it but I’m really glad you’re in my life and I hope you continue to be even after college,” Namjoon mumbled, he fiddled with his pen and couldn’t make eye contact.

“Ahh, sorry. I’m dropping your ass once we graduate,” I said sarcastically.

He fakes gasped, “How dare you!” he exclaimed, causing us both to laugh. “Joon, I don’t plan on not being in your life. I’ll be here as long as you want me here,” I said seriously. 

Namjoon leaned forward and pressed his lips on my cheek, I couldn’t help but blush. He did it again but on the other side, and then my forehead, my nose, and he paused inches away from my face. “Please,” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. 

He gently placed a kiss on my lips and then another one and another one and then we both said screw homework. I ended up straddling his lap, with my tongue down his throat. 

I wanted to do this for so long and finally it was happening. Namjoon and I explored each other’s mouth, letting out soft moans of pleasure and for me at least, relief. The need of kissing him was becoming so strong and for it to actually happened, I felt like I was on cloud 9. 

Namjoon slipped his hand under my shirt, his fingers tracing my back. I kissed his jawline, down to his neck and then back up to his lips. Everything felt good, it felt fucking great. But then, my blood ran cold and I pulled away, tears already forming. 

“We shouldn’t do this. I’m so sorry but I can’t do this,” I grabbed my stuff and ran away. Right to my room and once I was safe inside, I slid down to the floor and started sobbing. 

“Seokjin!” I heard Jimin exclaimed. 

“What happened with Namjoon?” Taehyung asked and I cried even more. “How do you it’s Namjoon?” 

“He is texting me saying he needs me,” Taehyung said. “He’s in the lounge?” 

I nodded, “but I thought-”

Taehyung sighed, “He’s my best friend,” he opened the door and left. “Can everyone else leave too?” I heard Hobi asked. 

Once they were gone, Hobi joined me on the floor. I calmed down enough to talk to Hobi. “I kissed Namjoon and I shouldn’t have.”

“Why? Did he say something?”

“No, I told him too and we were making out and then I just shut down. I told him we shouldn’t do this, and I started crying and left.” 

Hobi has a straight face on but then slowly began smiling, “Is he a good kisser?”

“Hoseok, this is serious, I made myself look like a dumbass in front of him. I shouldn’t have kissed him; I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“But why shouldn’t you have kissed him?”

“Because, I don’t do relationships.”

“It was just a kiss, that doesn’t mean you’re getting married.”

“Yeah but I felt something and that’s not good. We don’t feel things in this household.”

“Love, I’m practically married to Yoongi. You’re the one oppressing your emotions.”

“I don’t want to like him Hobi. He doesn’t feel the same way.”

“How do you know? He kissed you, didn’t he?”

“Yes, but like you said it’s just a kiss and what if after that he doesn’t speak to me or what if the goal was just sleeping with me? I can’t get hurt.”

“I think if he wanted to sleep with you, he would have done it already.” 

“So, you’re saying he doesn’t want to have sex with me?” I started freaking out all over again, “Let me tell you I am very fuckable.”

“Baby, I know, you’ve got a nice ass,” Hobi grinned. 

“Thank you, but do you think Namjoon doesn’t like me because he doesn’t find me fuckable?”

“Wait do you want him to like you or not?”

“I don’t know.” 

“He does like you.”

“He doesn’t. Where’s the proof?”

“Just by the way he is with you and Taehyung says it all the time to me and I tell him that you like Namjoon.”

“That’s ridiculous, he doesn’t act differently with me.”

“Are you kidding me? You guys hang out all the time until really late and I see the way he looks at you when you’re not looking.”

“You’re being stupid. He doesn’t look at me in any way but him just looking at me normally.”

“You’re in denial.” 

“Hobi the point is I kissed him, and I ruined our friendship and now he will never speak to me again.” 

“Seokjin, I love you so much, but I am very confused as to why you were freaking out.”

I huffed. “BECAUSE I LIKE NAMJOON AND HE DOESN'T LIKE ME!”

“But he does!”

“THEN WHY HASN'T HE TRIED SLEEPING WITH ME YET?”

“I DON'T KNOW!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO RUSH THINGS?”

“NO BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE ME!!”

“So, you’re upset about a kiss, but you want to have sex with him?”

“No, I don’t want to have sex with him.”

“You want him to want to have sex with you though.” 

“You’re not getting it.” 

“I really am not. Let’s go through this one more time.”

“HOSEOK YOU'RE USELESS!” I got up and headed to the door. 

“Where are you going?”

“To talk to Yoongi because you’re stupid.”

I opened the door and Hobi followed me.

“I am trying to understand but you’re not making sense. Please explain it again,” Hobi said. 

“I EXPLAINED IT TWICE AND YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING!!”

I turned around to head downstairs but Namjoon and Taehyung turned the corner. Namjoon and I made eye contact and I froze. “Let’s go back to the room,” I said grabbing Hobi. 

“Oh my god, no wait!” Taehyung yelled. 

“Taehyung shut up!” I heard Namjoon say. 

I turned the door knob but it was locked, “Give me the key.”

“I don’t have mine, don’t you have yours?”

“No, I left it on the ground. Shit, what do we do?” I asked. 

“Uh we ask the RA to let us in,” Hobi chuckled. 

“Guess I’m staying in the hall forever,” I said. 

“I can get the key,” Namjoon mumbled. I turned around to see him and Taehyung standing behind us. 

“Thanks, Joon,” Hobi mumbled. Taehyung was shaking his head. Hobi shrugged his shoulders and when Namjoon went inside his room I took the opportunity to escape. Leaving Taehyung and Hobi in the hallway calling out for me. I ran down to Yoongi’s room. “Can I hide here please?”

“Yes, but don’t touch anything,” Yoongi said as I walked in. “Okay, Mr. Min, whatever pleases you, Mr. Min. Oh, and do not let Hobi in here.”

Yoongi laughed, “Okay Mr. Kim, whatever pleases you, Mr. Kim.” 

—————  
Namjoon’s POV: 

I scared him away. I was too demanding and scared him away. I shouldn’t have made any moves and maybe we would still be talking. I haven’t heard from him or seen him in over two days and normally I wouldn’t care but this time I do. 

“Just go talk to him! You both feel the same way about it. He thinks you’re avoiding him and you think he’s avoiding you. You’re both giving each other space that the other person doesn’t want!” Jungkook said to me. He was hanging out Jimin and I happened to be in the room. It’s clear they both were ready to jump each other’s bones, but I didn’t have anywhere to go on a Sunday afternoon. 

“I’m telling you, if Seokjin wanted to talk to me, he would talk to me. I can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do!” 

I’ve been beating myself up for the past two days, I wanted to tell him how I felt but I can’t. What if he thinks I’m just hooking up with him because it’s me being normal fuck up Namjoon? 

He’s more than just some hook up and that’s scary so so scary, I want to be with him all the time. Just having him in my company makes me feel happier. Everything that used to annoy me about him, I can’t help but love now. It’s crazy how just in a few weeks the way you view someone can change drastically. 

There was a knock on the door and both Jimin and Jungkook pretended to not hear it. I sighed and went over to open the door. 

“Hey,” an out of breath Seokjin said, “I-I bought everything for grilled cheeses and wanted to know if you’d like to make them with me?” 

I stared at him for a few moments, processing what he said. “See you guys later,” I mumbled to Jimin and Jungkook before walking out and heading to Seokjin’s place with him. 

“No one is here, Hoseok and Yoongi are out doing who knows what and I don’t think they will be back anytime soon. So, we don’t have to share our sandwiches with them-.” Seokjin rambled on, “Can you grab the hot plate from my closet?” he asked me. 

I pulled open his closet and grabbed the hot plate out of the box. I suck at doing my job. What RA willingly does this? 

“Do you want one or two?” Seokjin asked as he took everything out that he needed from the bags. He had clearly just gone grocery shopping. 

“One, for now. Thank you,” I said quietly, “Wanna play Mario kart after?” I asked and he nodded. “Of course, but don’t use the second black controller, Jungkook broke it.” 

We are so good at avoiding needed conversations. It sort of suffocate me that things were being avoided. Everything is so up in the air right now. 

After a few more minutes of semi-awkward silence I decided to pipe up and be the big boy that I am. 

“Seokjin, you can't avoid me for two days and then act like everything is normal.” 

“Why can’t I?” he tested me. When I didn’t laugh along with him, he cleared his throat. 

“I was going to talk to you about it, at least I was planning on doing it. I just needed to see how we were at first before I made any decisions. Maybe we should start doing that, think before we act because we’ve been doing a lot of stupid things lately,” he rambled, and I shrugged. “I don’t think they’re stupid,” I said grabbing a slice of cheese and picked at it. 

Seokjin put his spatula down and huffed, “It’s very stupid, we shouldn’t be doing any of this.”

“Why not?” I asked and he rolled his eyes at me, clearly annoyed that I’m being difficult but it’s the only way of getting him to explain himself.

“I’m not in a place to have a boyfriend.” 

“See that’s the problem, I kissed you. Didn’t confess my undying love for you.”

“You’re not ready for a boyfriend.” 

“How would you know?” 

“Because you fucked your best friend!” I didn’t answer, “You slept with Taehyung, you didn’t even think about how that would make me feel.” I stared off into blank space and let him continue, I know I hurt him, and I don’t want to hear it, but I guess I need to. 

“Everyone says you like me. Everyone sees it but I don’t and not because I’m playing hard to get but because when I thought we could possibly go somewhere. I found out not even from you, that you got so wasted that you slept with Taehyung.” 

Seokjin turned our grilled cheese over in the pan and kept talking, “I get it, I understand what happened and what you’re going through and how this is not supposed to be about me but no one asked me if I was okay.”

“I tried apologizing-” I tried butting in. “I don’t want to be hurt by you or anyone,” he spoke over me, “I already was before we even got anywhere!” his voice raised. “So, no we shouldn’t be making out or doing anything else until we figure everything else out, if we even do that.” 

“I didn’t think you’d want to be with a fuck up like me. I keep hurting everyone and I don’t want hurt you worse than I already did.” 

“For you I’d risk it, and that’s what sucks,” he mumbled. He seemed exhausted and frustrated about this whole situation and me too, honestly. 

“What do you want Seokjin, because I’m clueless about all of this. After what happened with Taehyung, you’re the first person I thought about. I knew I fucked up, not just my friendship but also my chances with you. But, then you were still here for me and I realized I need to figure shit up and step up or I’ll lose my chance with you because, yes, Seokjin, I want to be with you, at some point. I know that right now is not the best time for both of us and that is part of the reason why I have been holding off on doing anything about us. So, don’t attack me about sleeping with Taehyung. I could care less about that, it was a mistake, I want you. Okay?” I walked over to him, he leaned against the table and I stood in front of him. 

He let out a sigh and put his hand on my shoulders looking me straight into my eyes, “I want you, but- but please don’t hurt me Joon. I don’t think I can handle it.” 

“I can’t make promises I can’t keep Seokjin, but I’ll try for you, for us,” I whispered, Seokjin nodded. “Okay, that’s all that matters, you are trying,” he said. 

“So, are we-,” I started to ask but he cut me off, “I don’t like labels. Can we just be Namjoon and Seokjin still for now, until we both get our shit together, because we’re a fucking hot mess?” he chuckled, and I smiled. “Yeah, we are,” I laughed. 

He leaned forward and kissed my lips lightly, “All you get are kisses for now, everything is off limits,” Seokjin said sternly and I chuckled. “I can survive with only kisses,” I placed one on his lips and he smiled. “Also, this is to not be mentioned to anyone and no signs of us being together in anyway in front of everyone, especially Jungkook,” Seokjin said and I agreed. “Great, now that we’re on the same page, please fucking kiss me for real.” 

I didn’t need to be asked twice before slamming my lips onto his. I could kiss his pretty lips all day. He sat on the table; his legs wrapped around my waist. Our kisses were rough and desperate, we both wanted this for so long and finally, it’s happening. We stood making out for a while before I smelt something burning. 

I pulled away gasping, “SEOKJIN! THIS IS WHY THERE’S NO HOT PLATES ALLOWED IN THE ROOMS!” We both look at the now black sandwich on the pan. I pulled the plug from the outlet, “Aw damn. RA RM, are you going to write me up?” Seokjin asked pouting. He wasn’t serious about this at all. 

“I should have since the first time,” I mumbled. 

“To be fair, this is your fault for distracting me, so write me up but if I’m going down so are you.” 

I gave him a death stare before picking up the burnt sandwich, “Eat this, with ketchup.”

“Oh, fuck no, I would never,” I squirted ketchup on it and walked over to him. He tried running away but I grabbed him and kept pushing the sandwich in his face. “STOP IT, THIS IS HARASSMENT!” he shirked. I couldn’t stop laughing, we spent the rest of the day eating grilled cheeses, with ketchup because Seokjin did agree that it does taste good, playing Mario Kart, and kissing way too much. 

———

Hoseok’s POV: 

Something smells different in our room. I’m not sure what it is but it’s been awhile since it smelt this way. I shrugged and continued watching my asmr ice eating video on YouTube. However, I quickly got distracted when I heard a few frustrated groans coming from Seokjin’s room. I chose to ignore them as well because I was trying really hard to have some me time. 

I was in the middle of shoving a hand full of potato chips in my mouth when Seokjin walks out, dressed nicely and smelling of his ‘date’ cologne. That’s when it hits me, Seokjin is going out. Seokjin is going on a date date. But, with whom? I pulled out my phone and texted Jimin. 

Hobi: Hey, what is Namjoon doing at this exact moment. 

Chim: Uhhh, he’s styling his hair. 

Hobi: What is he wearing? 

Chim: Are you trying to sext with Namjoon through me? Indirect sexting is not cute. THIS IS NOT A THREESOME! 

Hobi: Shut the hell up that is not what is happening, what is Namjoon wearing? WEIRDO. 

Chim: A button up with black jeans. 

Hobi: Thank you 

I put my phone down and processed my information. “Hey, do I look fat?” Seokjin groaned walking out of the bathroom, he had a full-on pout. 

“You look fine, where are you going?”

“Out with some of the teachers from school. They’re treating us student teachers today,” he said. He’s lying. He answered too quickly, he definitely planned that answer out. 

“Okay, well have fun,” I mumbled, grabbing my phone again.

Hobiworld: kook, get ready. We’re going on a mission, DON'T tell anyone. 

Kookiemonster: ready when you are, sir. 

Jungkook and I went spying and that’s how I’m spending the rest of my day. Seokjin is not going out with friends. He’s going out with Namjoon. I know for a fact he is. 

There was a knock on the door, and I opened it to let Jungkook in. “He’s in the bathroom, but the plan is to follow him and see where he is going and with who.”

“Okay, great. I brought a bag with walkie talkies, binoculars, and snacks.” 

I nodded, excellent. I picked the right person so go on this mission with. 

Jungkook and I continued watching the YouTube video I had on and pretending to not notice when Seokjin slipped through the door. We wait a minute and then headed out right behind him. 

Luckily, we got out of the room just in time to see him and Namjoon turning the corner. Jungkook took the lead and I locked up before catching up with him. Jungkook has a car which was great because I knew Seokjin would be using mine since he left his at home. 

When we got to the first floor, I knew this would be tricky because Yoongi always has his door open, so he might stop them to talk. 

“Wait, give them a few seconds. We can’t make Yoongi notice something,” I whispered.

“Oh, yes, you’re right.” Jungkook said in his normal voice, “LEARN HOW TO WHISPER!” I hissed at him. 

“Okay, let’s go,” I said, Jungkook and I continued walking. Yoongi pokes his head out just as we get to his door, “You both can’t whisper,” he quietly said. “What? I can’t hear you,” Jungkook said.

Yoongi and I both rolled our eyes, “YOU CAN’T WHISPER!” Yoongi shouted, “What are you idiots doing?”

I groaned, “Grab your jacket and let’s go, I’ll explain in the car.”  
Yoongi didn’t question us, he grabbed his stuff and the three of us ran to Jungkook’s car to hopefully catch them in time. I opened the phone of my app and I can see Seokjin driving down the main road. 

“Are you tracking him or your car?” Jungkook asked. “Both, I have one for my car, but this is the app to track Jin.” 

“Do you track Yoongi?” he asked, and I shook my head. “Of course not, I only have this from when Seokjin and I were younger, but it comes in handy, like this moment. So, shut up and start driving, it looks like they’re heading onto the highway,” I said, directing him on where he should go. 

We followed behind them until they exited the highway and pulled into a parking lot of a small restaurant. 

“I am staying in the car. I do not want any part of this,” Yoongi said as he made himself comfortable in the back seat. “Why did you even come then?” I asked him, slightly annoyed. 

“Because, you both are stupid, and I wanted to see how this will play out. However, I am not going into that restaurant in my pj’s.” 

“Okay, fine. I will text you updates. Do you want me order you food since I’ll be there?” I asked him and he nodded. Of course, he did. “Send me a picture of the menu and I will let you know to get me, thank you Seokie,” he said sweetly, and my bitter attitude immediately vanished. I leaned into the back and gave him a quick kiss. 

“Okay, love birds, let’s go!” Jungkook said as he opened the car door and grabbed his backpack. 

We headed into the restaurant and asked for a booth a few feet away from their table. 

“This is definitely a date. It has to be right?” I asked Jungkook, he was looking through his binoculars. “They are not that far away; we don’t need to use them.” 

“I am trying to see what they’re order; I can’t make up my mind,” Jungkook explained his motives and I rolled my eyes. “Stop thinking about food and answer my question!” I hissed. 

“Damn, okay, yeah it has to be a date. This place is way too fancy for two casual friends to come to, also why would they drive this far away from school? They clearly did not want to be found on a date,” Jungkook answered. 

The waitress comes up to us, smiling and ready to take our orders, I was not ready. “Uh, I’ll have this,” I randomly pointed to something on the menu. “Make that two!” Jungkook said happily. 

“Alright, anything else?” 

“No, thank you!” I grinned fakely. Once she walked away, I looked at exactly what I ordered, “LOBSTER!” I don’t have lobster type of money, “Why did you let me order this?” I barked at Jungkook. 

“Oh, I thought you were feeling generous today. You’re paying for mine as well, I hope you know that.”

“Why did I bring you of all people,” I mumbled under my breath. I remember I still had to get something for Yoongi. You know what, I’ll use apple pay and charge Seokjin’s card. He won’t mind and it’s his parent’s money anyways. Plus, we are only here because of him. 

“Jungkook, we’re getting dessert as well, choose expensively,” I smiled. Jungkook nodded with a huge grin on his face, already looking at the dessert options. 

“OH- they’re holding hands over the table!” I shouted, getting Jungkook’s attention, they are together. That is all the evidence I need. 

Our food comes shortly after, we stuffed our faces while we kept watching them. They didn’t act too much of a couple. They just behaved like their normal awkward shelves. I sort of regretted coming here because not much is happening but at least the food is good and free. 

“I am going to the bathroom,” I said to Jungkook and left him alone at the table. I made sure he knew he had to keep watch while I was gone. 

I quickly headed to the bathroom; I drank way too many iced teas but free iced tea tastes so much better than when I have to pay for it. 

On my way out of the bathroom I see Yoongi heading inside, “I got tired of waiting and I’m starving. Did you order for me yet?” 

“Yeah, it should be at the table by now. I left Jungkook alone while I went to the bathroom.” 

“Ah, okay, well letting you know now, Namjoon and Seokjin already left. I saw they drive away before I came in here,” Yoongi informed me as he started walking to the booth Jungkook was waiting for us at. 

“What do you mean they left? Jungkook!” I shouted, “You had one job!” 

“I am sorry, Namjoon kissed Seokjin and then they walked out!” 

“THEY KISSED, LIKE LIPS ON LIPS KISSED?! Jungkook, this is what type of information you are supposed to tell me!” 

“Sorry, I got distracted by the desserts when they got to the table. Try to chocolate cake. IT IS AMAZING!” Yoongi sat down and began eating with Jungkook. I am never bringing these two on a mission again. They are USELESS. 

Jimin’s POV: 

“He kissed you!” I beamed with excitement for Taehyung as he told me more about him and Minjae. They’ve been getting cozier by the day ever since their first date on Valentine’s Day and I am here for it. I always support my friends finding love and Taehyung, especially Taehyung, really deserves all the love.

“I wasn’t expecting it at all! I was just talking like I am right now and mid-sentence he leaned over and kissed me.” Taehyung was giddy as he told me what happened. “Is he a good kisser?” I asked, and Taehyung nodded, “Oh Jiminie, he’s amazing, not just his kissing but everything about him is just amazing.” 

“I’m so happy for you! Truly, I am. I haven’t seen you smile this wide in a while.” 

“I’m happy, I’m actually happy. I was worried this would become a rebound thing, but I let myself get over Namjoon before I actually pursued anything with Jae.” 

“Have you told anyone else?”

“Nah, I want to keep this quiet for a little longer. We’re not even official official, it was just one kiss.” 

“So Joon has no clue?” 

He shook his head and took a sip of his cola, “Does he need to know?” 

“He is your best friend, maybe he would like to know.”

“We still haven’t really talked. I talked to him about some stuff with Seokjin and I kinda told him about Jae but nothing much. Other than that, we haven’t really said anything much.” 

“Hmmm, it’s all at your own pace, I guess. I really miss the three of us, it hasn’t been just us in a while, I haven’t really seen any do you besides Jungkook.” 

Taehyung chewed on his lip and nodded, “I have a great idea, why don’t we all go on a trip for spring break! I can even bring Minaje, it’ll be so much fun! We can rent a cabin or something!” 

“Yes! I love that idea; we should figure it out soon because spring break isn’t that far away and we would need to book a cabin really soon.”

“Okay don’t worry, I love planning these types of things! I’ll make sure everyone is on board with the trip and I’ll find a place! I’ll text the group chat right now! Oh my god, I’m so excited. I’ve always wanted to go on a trip with my friends for spring break, but I never really had enough friends,” Taehyung was talking so fast I could barely understand him, he gets like this when he’s super excited. I watched him type away on his phone. 

This trip will be interesting.


	19. All at once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: King Of My Heart by Taylor Swift

Jimin’s POV: 

“Do you think this is enough for a week?” I asked Namjoon as I stared at my three bags on my bed. I glanced over at his side and he had a simple black duffel bag packed and ready to go. “Is that really all that you are taking?” I asked scratching my head suddenly feeling as though I may have over packed.

“I also have my backpack, but I don’t think I need much, we’ll be relaxing for most of the time, so I didn’t bring many dressy outfits plus there’s a washing machine. At least that’s what I was told,” Namjoon informed me. 

“Why would I want to do laundry on vacation?” I questioned him and he chuckled, “It’s whatever your preference is Chim, I’m not forcing you to do it. I only packed a few things keeping in mind that I will be able to wash if I need to.” 

There was a knock on the door, Namjoon walked over to open it but it was swung open before he could get there. “Fellas, are we ready to head out?” Taehyung grinned from ear to ear. “Yes, let me just double check my list and then we can go,” Namjoon picked up his list one more time and started going through it. Taehyung rolled his eyes and grabbed his notebook away, “I am sure you have everything, let’s not waste any more time on this.” 

“Hey! You know how I am about my list! Let me check it one more time, please!” 

“Okay, fine, I’ll call things out and you tell me if you got it. First, 3 t-shirts,” Taehyung helped Namjoon go through his list and I turned my attention to a very good-looking man standing in the doorway, “Kook, are you all packed?” I asked and he nodded. “I’ve had my things in the car since last night. I even slept in there to make sure no one left without me!” Jungkook said excitedly. I shook my head, “Of course you did, you do know I would never let them forget you,” I chuckled at the younger. 

“I just wanted to be safe, you know how Taehyung can be,” Jungkook pouted, I pulled him into me and gave him a quick peck on his lips. He’s too adorable. “Are you excited to see your best friend? I’m excited that he’s coming along! You can finally introduce him to your boyfriend,” Jungkook grinned, leaving multiple wet kisses on my cheek. “I’m so happy to see Yuggie, he’s going to love you all!” I chirped at him, “He’s going to love you, I just know it.” I gave Jungkook another kiss.

“Alright love birds, let’s head out!” Namjoon said once him and Taehyung are through with Namjoon’s last minute packing. We were going to stay at some cabins up near the Poconos for break. Seokjin’s family owns two houses up there so we are all actually staying there. It was convenient for all of us because we were able to save money. Because of the extra space we were all able to invite people if we wanted to so that’s why Yugyeom is coming. Luckily his college is on break as well, so he isn’t missing anything to be there with me. Namjoon invited Jackson who asked if Jinyoung could come so that means Mark will be on this trip. To say that Namjoon is a little on edge about Mark vacationing with him would be an understatement. 

Taehyung invited the guy he’s talking to, Minjae along. I also heard that Yoongi invited JB and Youngjae as well who asked if BamBam could come and of course we would say yes, no one should be left out on this trip! I know that there is a weird tension because of certain people so I am hoping everyone can put their differences aside for just a few days. However, with this group, I am sure that won’t happen so this will end up being a pretty interesting trip. I wouldn’t be surprised if we all leave there barely speaking to one another, positive thoughts though. Staying positive and calm is the best thing we can do in situations like this. 

Jungkook helped me bring my bags downstairs to the lobby of our building where everyone was waiting for us. “Okay so to make this clear, Namjoon is riding with Seokjin, Hoseok, and Yoongi. I am going with Minaje who is already outside waiting for me, and Jimin and Jungkook are driving together in a separate car,” Taehyung said. “Yes sir, we’re all ready to go!” 

“Okay, so there’s two houses. Both houses have three rooms that can fit at most three people but I’m sure you all will want to do at most two, and the couches also become beds if you pull them out. That’s more than enough space. So honestly, whoever gets there first gets the pick their beds,” Seokjin explains. 

“Ah. So, this is a race. We are going to win this!” Jungkook yelled. 

“This is not a race! We all will be driving safely! It doesn’t matter who sleeps where as long as we’re together right?” Hoseok says. “Oh, that’s bullshit, last ones there gets the couch. LET’S GO!” Taehyung shouted and ran out the door. 

“Hey! You didn’t count to three! That’s a false start!” Hoseok shouted and began running as well. “JIMIN MOVE YOUR TINY ASS, LET’S GO!” Jungkook screamed as he ran out as well leaving all of our bags. “This is ridiculous,” Namjoon rolled eyes. “I don’t know about you but I’m too good looking and too old to be sleeping on a couch so Namjoon we need to go NOW!” Seokjin said urgently pulling Namjoon out the door. 

Yoongi groaned and looked at me, “See you there sucker,” he said elbowing me and running off as well. I sighed, “Of course no one is going to help me with these bags.” I picked up the bags on the ground and made my way outside. Everyone was hopping into cars, “DRIVE!” I heard Taehyung yell at Minaje. Oh, that poor soul has no idea what he’s getting himself into. 

“JIMIN, HURRY UP!” Jungkook shouts, he had brought the car up to the curb and waited for me. “Thanks for helping me with the bags, darling,” I huffed as I threw them into the back. I hopped in and before I could even close the door Jungkook sped off. “We are so going to win!” he says excitedly. I slightly chuckled, I won’t lie this is all sort of amusing. “Unless we die first, slow down!” I said hitting him and he laughed, “Loosen up, babe! Take a nap or something, we will be there in no time!” Jungkook said speeding up a little more. This boy drives me crazy. 

I looked out the window at the speeding car passing us and I saw Taehyung sticking his tongue out at us and he zooms by, I can’t believe Minaje allowed him to drive. All of a sudden, I get a call from him. 

T: Hey Chim, would you be a doll and send me the address again? Yoongi is being petty and won’t give it to me.

JK: SORRY! LOOKS LIKE YOU’LL BE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH! SEE YOU THERE! 

Jungkook grabbed my phone and hung up before I could even say anything. We passed Taehyung again on the highway. Jungkook had no shame in flipping him off as we drove by. 

I laughed at Taehyung’s offended face. Like I said, this will be an interesting trip. 

Seokjin’s POV: 

“Do you think we could stop to go to the bathroom soon? I shouldn’t have bought a large slushie at the last stop,” Hoseok said from the back seat. The three of us let out a groan, “Hobi, this is supposed to be a race. I will not be sleeping on the couch!” 

“Okay but we’ve been driving for 4 hours already and we haven’t passed anyone else so I’m sure we’re last anyways, and I really need to pee!” 

“Okay fine, we can stop at the next test stop, or maybe you could pee in a bottle!” I suggested, “NO!” Yoongi shouted, “please Hoseokie, do not pee in a bottle!” 

“I won’t pee in a bottle; I can’t even imagine doing that. Seokjin pull over and I’ll pee on the side of the road if I have to, please!”

“We will stop at the next rest stop. To be honest I kinda have to go as well,” Namjoon said awkwardly. I sighed, “It’s like driving with three toddlers.” 

“Hey! I didn’t even do anything wrong!” Yoongi whined and I arched my eyebrow, looking at him through the rear-view mirror. “Never mind, I see what you mean. Also, if they’re going to pee then I guess I’ll pee as well.” 

I chuckled; I might as well go too. 

“So, who’s going on the trip again?” I asked, “Ah well I invited JB and he’s coming with his friends.” 

“You did what?” Hoseok snapped his head in Yoongi's direction. “Yoongi! I thought you told him!” I said, looking at him again through the mirror and he shook his head. “No, it completely slipped my mind plus I didn’t think I needed to ask for permission or something,” Yoongi ended his sentence with a slightly annoyed tone. 

“Why would you even want to invite that jackass after what happened that night?”

“He’s not a jackass. You shouldn’t have gotten so upset and lay your hands on him!” 

“Why do you always stick up for him?!”

“Because you have these insane ideas of him liking me and like I said beforehand. Even if it is slightly true, I DON'T CARE! I am more than happy with you. Why can’t you get that through that thick skull of yours?!” 

Hoseok huffed and crossed his arms looking about the window. I glanced over at Namjoon who looked awkwardly uncomfortable. “I hope we never get like that,” he whispered, and I chuckled. “Yeah, one of the downsides of a relationship.” 

“The rest stop is coming up, you three have 5 minutes. I will leave your asses here and you’ll have to figure it out yourselves. If you think I’m joking, then why won’t you test it out. 5 minutes!” 

“Alright sir, we got it. 5 minutes, it won’t even take me that long!” Hoseok grumpily said. 

I exited off the highway and made my way into the parking lot for cars. I found the closest one and pulled in. “5 minutes!” I said again reminding everyone as we got out of the car. 

“If you’re not back in 5 minutes, are we able to leave you behind and have you fend for yourself?” Namjoon teases me as we walk towards the building. Yoongi and Hoseok are way ahead of us, it’s clear that they’re still bickering. “This trip won’t end well if people are already fighting before we even get there,” I sighed. Namjoon puts his arm around me, “Don't worry babe, I think once everyone is together and has some alcohol in their system, we could all have a great time!”

“It’s so sweet of you to be positive but you do remember the last time Hoseok was drunk around JB, they had a brawl in the bathroom. The last time you were drunk you slept with Taehyung. The last time—,” 

“Okay, I get it, we all can be pretty bad drunks BUT who says anything about getting wasted. Just a few drinks can’t hurt and hopefully everyone can be on the same page and want a drama free spring break so maybe there won’t be any issues,” Namjoon continued talking me down from my anxiety. 

After a quick bathroom break, we all headed back to the car, Hobi was now walking with me. Yoongi and Namjoon ended up getting into a conversation about mint chocolate chip ice cream and I did not feel like contributing to that conversation. 

“So, I think you should really cool it down with Yoongi. Trust him, he loves you, he wants to be with you! Forget about whatever the hell JB said and just enjoy this break with your boyfriend,” I said and Hoseok scoffed. “Easy for you to say, you don’t get it.” 

“Well I can try to get it; I’m trying to understand both sides from only over hearing. Maybe if my friends talked to me about what’s going on, I'd be able to give better advice.”

“Yoongi doesn’t even love me. We’re just in this weird phase anyways.”

“Yoongi does love you, you won’t OPEN your eyes and see what’s right in front of you! Maybe if you told him he would tell you.”

“Seokjin, drop it. You clearly are the blind one and don’t see how he treats me.”

“What about how you treat him?”

“Are you saying I’m a bad boyfriend?”

“No, I’m just saying that you should try to see things from his perspective.”

“Some best friend you are. I support you with everything when it comes to Namjoon. Why can't you support me?”

“I do support you Hoseok, I’m trying to be there for both of my friends.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled as we got back to the car, I didn’t realize how slow we were walking and the fact that Yoongi and Namjoon were patiently waiting by my car. 

“That was more than five minutes. If I had the keys, I would have left you here,” Namjoon said smiling. “You can’t drive my love, nice try,” I said poking my tongue out at him. I heard him gasp as I walked around the car to get into the driver's seat. 

The rest of the car ride was silent, I think they both ended up knocking out in the back and Namjoon hummed along quietly to the radio. A seven-hour drive sucked, and it would have been nice to switch with Hobi half way through but he wants to act like a big baby so I guess I’ll have to stick it out myself. Namjoon was a nice company, a great company. 

We’ve been acting more and more like a couple recently. Every day is something new, a step forward and I surprisingly love it. Not having a label really helped things as well, I didn’t feel pressured. I knew my actions were based on my true feelings and intentions rather than the ‘I have to do this’ aspect of being in a relationship. It’s been hard keeping it from our friends. As much as I’d like for them to know, it would honestly be too overwhelming for me. I don’t need or want the constant questions and people being in my business. At this point I would rather have them think whatever the hell they want about Joon and I. This is our private life and we agreed that no one needs to know anything unless we want them too. 

“Have you seen the recent picture Taehyung posted on Instagram?” Namjoon asked me randomly, “No, I don’t even think I follow him.”

“Why not, weren’t you guys following each other before?” 

“Probably, I’m not into social media as much so I don’t really know or care about it. What picture are you talking about?”

Namjoon showed me and I quickly glanced at it, “That’s cute, he seems really happy with Minaje.” I heard Namjoon snicker, “What, you don’t think he’s happy with him?” 

“I don’t know what to think, I didn’t trust that guy from the second I heard about him. What if he’s just using Taehyung because he knows how vulnerable he was or still is?”

“Taehyung is over you, don’t think so highly of yourself.” 

“I want him to be over me, I never said I didn’t want that. I’m just saying, they met when Taehyung was still hurt by everything, what if he’s just taking advantage of Tae. Tae usually thinks with his heart rather than his brain and I know Tae, what if he’s only with him to ignore what he’s actually feeling?” 

“Then Tae will just have to figure it out on his own, Tae’s a big boy and he can handle whatever is thrown at him. You don’t have to be so protective of him.” 

“I just don’t want him getting hurt especially by some random dude that literally picked him up from outside. Have you heard that story? That’s crazy!” 

“Have you heard that story? Taehyung left because he was upset about you. He cried all the way back to the dorms and Minaje helped him through a rough time. Can’t you think of it like that?” 

“I mean yeah, I guess that was nice of him. Also, weird don’t you think?” 

“It’s only weird if you make it weird. I think it’s sweet and I think Taehyung is truly happy. He knows what he’s doing. Have some faith in him will ya? He’s your best friend, he’s going through something rough. Heartbreak sucks and he’s been dealing with this all on his own. He didn’t have a best friend there to talk him through it like most people do during that time.” 

“I just don’t like Minjae, okay?” Namjoon sounded grumpy now and I sighed. “I think you’re being selfish”

“How am I being selfish? I’m just looking out for my best friend! I don’t want him getting hurt!”

“One, don’t raise your voice at me. Two, you do realize that’s so hypocritical of you because he’s mainly hurt because of you!”

“I get that! It’s not my fault that I don’t like him and that I like you!” 

“Are you sure you like me? Because ever since I met you it’s always Taehyung first” 

“We didn’t even like each other when we first met. It’s only been Taehyung before I met any of you, and and now he’s with some guy and things are different.”

“So, what you want to be with me but have him still chasing after you? You do realize that does make you selfish and self-center you dumbass?”

“I’m over this conversation.”

“You started it.”

“Whatever.”

“Stop talking.”

“You stop.”

“You’re so immature!”

“I said stop!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me! This is my car, we’re going to my house, and I’m older than you!” I shouted, now that shut him up. 

The rest of the car ride was awkward, and I needed to get out of there. I couldn’t wait to get to the house and locked myself in the bathroom. I needed to cry; this is why I don’t want to be with him. He’s so confused about what the hell he wants. 

I’m over this trip already. 

Taehyung’s pov: 

“My friends are loud, I’m warning you,” I said to Minaje as I drove. 

“You’re loud too, I can handle it,” he smiled. 

“Yes, but all of us together can get a bit overwhelming,” I continued to explain to him. 

“You’re very calm and collected when it’s just us. The few times I’ve been around you and your friends at the same time I’ve seen this side of you that-.” 

“That you hate, I’m sorry. I know I can get crazy,” I cut him off and he shook his head. “Let me finish, will you? You’re always cutting me off and assuming the worst Taetae, I love the way you are with your friends. It’s exciting and entertaining, I’m really glad to be on this trip. Sort of nervous but mostly excited!”

“Why nervous? Don’t be nervous. We’re going to have a great time!”

“I don’t think Namjoon likes me much and I don’t want to have to face him.”

I chuckled, “Namjoon is just protective, he doesn’t want me getting hurt.”

“That’s hypocritical, he hurt you.”

“That’s different,” I said quickly.

“You’re always defending him, why?”

“I’m not defending him; I’m telling it like it is. Namjoon is different. I’ve spent so much time going through all these emotions because of him and I’m drained. I just want my best friend back. He is my best friend, I just needed space and plus during that time I got to be with you and get to know you and it’s amazing. Things really do happen for a reason.” 

Minjae sighed, “Okay but I know he doesn’t like me and I’m still nervous,” he admitted. “It’s okay, I’ll protect you for him,” I cooed, smiling at him. 

This drive sucks. It sucks so much but we’re almost there. I have no clue where anyone is, but I did finally manage to get the address. The GPS says were 30 minutes away, but we’ve been sitting in traffic for a good hour already. I sighed and took another sip of my coffee. “I hate traffic, I don’t hate many things but traffic, one thousand percent hate it.” I groaned, “I told you I could have driven, and you could be sleeping but no, you wanted to race.” Minjae laughed at me. 

“I’m sure we lost; the couch is better than the floor I guess,” I pouted. “Aw, we can make the most of it. Don’t be a sore loser,” he joked. “I am not a sore loser, if you want to see a sore loser then wait till you see Seokjin lose at any game we might play on this trip. Now he’s a sore loser.” 

“At least he doesn’t cheat.”

“No, that’s Jungkook,” I said and we both laughed. Minjae adores Jungkook for some reason but hey, as long as he gets to know my friends then I’m happy. 

“Look, we’re finally moving!” I said excitedly. We will be there in no time! 

——— 

I pulled into the driveway of the house and to my surprise the only car that was there was Seokjin’s. Jungkook’s car was nowhere in sight and I was pleased. At least I didn’t lose. Minjae grabbed our bags from the trunk and I picked up the few things that were in the back seat. 

“Hello!” I said as I walked in the house. It was huge! There was a fireplace in the living room, the floors were so polished I could see my face! There were chandeliers in every room. I was amazed as I continued to look around. There were multiple pictures of Seokjin and his family, Seokjin and Hoseok, and Seokjin himself. 

“Hey! We’re upstairs putting our things away, there’s another room free or you can take the couch!” Seokjin shouted from upstairs. “The couch is fine,” Minjae said and I shook my head, “No, we got here second, we get a bedroom,” I dragged him upstairs with me. We walked into the empty room and it clearly was a guest room. The sheets were silky smooth as I plopped down on the bed. “Seokjin never said his family had this much money,” I said looking around the room. 

Seokjin walked into the room smiling, “The guest room is small, I’m sorry.” 

“Small? This is way bigger than my room back at home. I love it here already!” I said. 

“Make yourself at home Minjae. We’re going to have to go grocery shopping so can you text me a list of things you need,” he said to us. 

“Oh sure!” I said cheerfully, “Is it okay if I unpack things?”

“Yeah. The drawers and closets are empty. You do whatever the hell you want. I don’t care and we honestly don’t come here anymore. So, my parents won’t mind.” 

I nodded and began unpacking. “We’re going to have an amazing time!” I said Minjae smiling and he nodded. “Definitely!” he said excitedly as well. 

I took a few minutes to unpack and when I was done, I decided to go back downstairs. Minjae stayed upstairs he said he wanted some time to lay down, but I think he’s just hiding from Namjoon. 

“Joon, this place is amazing!” I said as I sat down next to him on the couch. Joon was already flipping through TV channels. 

“I know, I didn’t know they had this much money,” he whispered, and I laughed. “That’s exactly what I said!” 

“MOM!” We heard Seokjin shouting from behind us. We turned around and he stood in front of this screen on the wall. “MOM! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” he said yelling at the screen. Namjoon and I have each other confused looks. “I am going to shut off the cameras, you’re not spying on my friends and I!”

“Honey, I miss you! You look so big and your friends seem to be enjoying the house! Hoseokie is that you!” 

Hoseok was in the kitchen and we heard him talking as well, “Hello, I can’t find the glasses. Where are they again?” he asked. “Hoseok! Stop talking to my mom!”

“Oh, we moved some of the stuff into the attic, you can bring some down if needed!”

“Thank you!”

“Mom, I’m going to shut the camera off now, you’re not going to watch us all week! If you want to talk to me, you can call me!” Seokjin sighed pressing a few buttons. 

“My parents are ridiculous” he grumbled, and I chuckled. “That’s really fancy, they can see and hear you!”

“Yeah, she loved it because she can talk to the cleaning ladies when they come here after we leave.” 

“You guys have cleaning ladies?” Namjoon asked. 

“Y-yeah, I don’t really like talking about that stuff though. Why don’t we start our grocery list?”

“I found the shot glasses! I couldn’t tell your mom what kind of glasses I was looking for, but I found them!” Hoseok said coming in the living room with a bottle of vodka and shot glasses on a tray. 

“We were never able to touch these glasses as kids but look at us now Seokjin, we’re living like kings!” Hoseok beamed. “These are so nice!” I said grabbing on. “Please be careful. They are handmade from Italy. My mom got them as a gift from my dad for her birthday and adores them,” Seokjin explained. 

“Oh, what a thoughtful gift,” Namjoon said reaching to grab one and I slapped his hand away. “How about you stick to plastic shot glasses, we can pick some up at the grocery store,” I said to him. He’s the god destruction and we don’t need him breaking these beautiful glasses only 20 minutes into our stay here at Casa De Seokjin. 

“I’m not that clumsy, I won’t break it but fine,” he pouted. I patted his head to cheer him up, “You are that clumsy,” Seokjin said and I chuckled nodding in agreement. 

“Shouldn’t we wait to start drinking after the other two get here?” Yoongi asked from the balcony upstairs. The hallway upstairs was exposed to the living room, so we could talk to anyone that was upstairs. “Also, help me fill up this bucket I found with water!” he said smiling mischievously.

“I want to put on the door so when Jungkook walks in he will get soaked!” 

“I’m in!” I said standing up, Yoongi runs down the stairs with the bucket in hand. He looked like a little kid being told yes. “The prank war champion has entered the building,” Hoseok laughed at his boyfriend. 

“As long as we don’t ruin the house, I don’t really care what anyone does. If something does get ruined, I’m sure we can easily replace it,” Seokjin shrugged. 

“What a rich boy thing to say,” I joked causing everyone to laugh. “Being best friends with a rich boy definitely has its perks,” Hoseok commented. 

“Great, I’m friends with a bunch of gold diggers,” Seokjin crosses his arms. “Hell yeah, you are. I’m taking advantage of ALL of this!” Yoongi said, this is the most energetic and happy I’ve seen him in weeks and it’s actually refreshing. Yoongi has been sad about Hoseok. I’ve been sad about Namjoon. Hoseok has been upset, Seokjin has been jealous of god knows what. I’m very good at reading people and things are getting out of hand because everyone feels a certain way, but no one will say anything. 

“Where’s Jae?” Yoongi asked me as I helped him fill the bucket with water in the kitchen. “He’s upstairs, I’m gonna go check on him soon. He’s worried about Namjoon.” 

Yoongi arched his eyebrow, “Worried about Namjoon?” 

“He thinks Namjoon doesn’t like him and he’s scared he’s too overprotective of me or some crap. Namjoon doesn’t really have a say in my relationship. He lost the privilege a while ago,” I said, Yoongi nodding in agreement. 

“I don’t think he should be too worried. Namjoon is concerned about losing his friend that’s all. I think he’s very happy you guys are finally talking somewhat again, and he doesn’t want to lose you again.” 

“He won’t, like I’ve told the others, I’m tired of being sad and avoiding. It’s time to leave the past in the past and work on moving forward.” 

“Not to be that person, Seokjin feels as though he has some competition with you for Namjoon’s attention. I overheard them arguing in the car.” 

“Ah, arguing, explains why things seem tense in between them. Well, I’ll talk to Seokjin, there is no competition. I want them together because Namjoon is happy and Namjoon being happy is so important to me.” 

“Talking to him would be best.” Yoongi shut the water off, “Let’s go put this on the front door, when he opens the door it should fall on him. We just have to make sure no one else uses the door.” Yoongi and I laughed together as we got the prank ready. We have no clue where Jungkook and Jimin are so maybe we should figure out that first before we did anything else. 

Namjoon’s POV: 

Seokjin made his way upstairs and I had to follow him. I know we were trying to hide whatever we are from our friends, but we ended up with a pretty harsh argument earlier and I needed to clear the air. I left Hoseok in the living room, he was still flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch. Taehyung and Yoongi were discussing their prank in the kitchen which I wanted nothing to do with so I do not think anyone would miss me. I headed up to go talk to Seokjin. I opened the door to his bedroom, our room for the week, I guess. He was in the middle of changing out of jeans and into some sweatpants. 

“Hey,” I said as I closed the door and walked over to where Seokjin was standing. “Hey,” he answered quietly. He did not say anything else and began rummaging through his suitcase again, “Can we talk about earlier?” I asked him and he breathed out through his nose loudly.  
“I guess I should apologize. I’m sorry for getting so worked up in the car. I have to work on not being jealous or intimidated by your friendship with Taehyung,” he mumbled. 

“No, it’s okay. I completely understand. What I was saying kept coming out wrong and I didn’t know how to fix it. I don’t want Taehyung liking me, but I want him in my life as a friend and as a friend I don’t want some douche bag hurting him.” 

“Well, like I said Minjae doesn’t seem like a douchebag but if he turns out to be one then we all can come together and beat him up, if that’s what you want.” 

I chuckled, “Thank you but honestly I’m more concerned about you. Seokjin, you don’t have anything to be jealous about. I want you and only you.” I stood with my hand in my pocket watching his every move. He dropped his suitcase back on the floor and turned to face me. “I want you too, but-.” 

“No, there isn’t a but, you know this already. Taehyung is just my friend. I want you Seokjin, please listen to me,” I sounded like I was begging but at this point I am. We have this discussion quite often and it’s tiring. “Why won’t you trust me?” 

He shrugged, “I told you I don’t want to get hurt and if this is just going to end badly then maybe we should stop whatever this is.” 

“Is that what you really want? You want to end this before we even actually started?” I questioned him. 

He groaned, “No, I like being with you.” 

“I like being with you too. I think we’ve been doing a pretty good job at this whole relationship thing.”

Seokjin nodded, “Come here,” I said to him, gesturing for him to come sit with me on the bed. “Yoongi and Hoseok have been together for so long and at first they were so great together but now look at them. What if we get like that? I don’t want to fight,” he mumbled, his voice sounded like he was about to burst into tears. 

I chuckled softly pulling him into my chest, “Baby, I promise you I’ll do anything to make sure we do not end up like them. Every relationship is different so there is no point in comparing us to them or to any other couple. We’re Namjoon and Seokjin. We got this, we will figure it out.” 

“Okay, we can do this, we’ve been doing this. The past few weeks with you have been amazing and I just want to be with you, I like how you make me feel. I’m happy, for once I’m happy but I’m terrified that at any second this can all be over, and I’ll be hurt-” Seokjin was starting to anxiously ramble. “Hey, look at me. We’re going to be okay and if we ever are not okay, we will figure it out. Let’s take things as they come and as of right now, we’re good. We’re great. We’re happy.” 

Seokjin nodded, “Okay,” he nodded and leaned forward to press a kiss on my lips, “I’m sorry, I overthink a lot and earlier scared me because I thought I lost you before I even really had the chance to have you,” he whispered, his lips just inches away from mine. 

“You got me for as long as you want me. I have no plans on going anywhere,” I whispered. Seokjin replied in a kiss. His lips were soft and cold against mine. He took my hands and moved them to his waist, then wrapped his own arms around my neck. We sat kissing for a while until Seokjin pushed me back and got on top of me. 

“We can’t-,” I said in between kissing. Seokjin whined, “Five minutes, I waited all day,” he said continuing to kiss me. He moved his way from my lips to my neck sucking gently on the sensitive skin. I gripped his waist pushing down onto me, we both were so hard. The swelling in my pants continued as Seokjin slowly rubbed against me. 

“You’re a tease,” I hissed at him and he smiled against my neck. “You like it,” He said, he kissed my lips against, “I wanna fuck you so badly,” I whispered in his ear. Seokjin stopped kissing me and let out a small whimper. “Please,” he focused on moving his hips in circles against me. “We can’t,” I said, rubbing the finger against the waistline of his pants. 

Seokjin ran his fingers through my hair and kept grinding into me, “This only kissing rule is stupid,” he said sighing, and I laughed. “It’s your rule, I’m just following your orders, love.” I closed my eyes and enjoyed the wave of pleasure flowing through my body. Damn, the way he moves. The things we could do. 

“Shut up, I know it’s my rule, doesn’t mean it’s not stupid,” Seokjin kissed my lips. He sucked on my bottom lip then released before kissing me again. He’s so hot. 

“If it’s stupid let’s forget about because I really wanna see your lips wrapped around my co-” I was interrupted by someone opening our door. Seokjin gasped sitting up.

“Hey, Ji-,” Yoongi stopped talking. He stared at us on the bed. He looked amused; I mean I'm sure he was. Both of us looked crazy, both rocking boners. 

Seokjin broke the silence, “You didn’t lock the door dumbass!” he hissed at me. “I didn’t think we would end up-,”

“Both of you, shut up,” Yoongi said still standing there. “I came here to say that Jimin and Jungkook are here so we can go grocery shopping now.” 

“Yoongi, please don’t say anything,” Seokjin begged. “About what?” Yoongi questioned through a smirk. 

“Thank you, thank you,” Seokjin looked a little less freaked out but I know he was still terrified.

“Babe, it’s okay,” I said and Seokjin eyes widened looking between Yoongi and I. 

“I mean Seokjin,” I said quickly and Yoongi snorted. “Guys, I don't care what the hell is going on. I’ve been waiting for this for months so I’m happy. You’re lucky though because Hoseok was actually coming to get you guys but got distracted on the way. He would be freaking out, but I won’t say anything I promise,” Yoongi sounded sincere. 

We both nodded and followed him out of the room. 

“How did the prank go?” Seokjin asked as we walked down the stairs. 

“Did you not hear Jimin screaming? He walked in first and we forgot about the bucket so now he’s soaked and pissed. I’ve never seen him that upset. Jungkook is trying to calm him down in the bathroom.” 

“Jimin is going to get you both back. You do realize that you’re not safe,” I told him laughing. 

“I am not scared of Jimin or his lame pranks. Taehyung might be though; he’s been apologizing non-stop.” 

“Taehyung is smart, unlike you. You better watch out; we don’t mess with Jimin. An angry Jimin is no friend of anyone.” 

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say, Joon.” 

Jungkook’s POV: 

“Those IDIOTS!” Jimin complained as he stripped out of his wet clothes. “They better sleep with one eye open; I am in no mood for being pranked.”

“Baby, it wasn't on purpose. I was the target, you just walked in first.” 

“Kookie, don’t tell anyone but I might have pissed on myself. I really had to go and when I got hit with freezing water I kinda just let it all out,” Jimin said quietly pouting. He stood in his boxers and socks in front of the bathroom. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Laughing at a mad Jimin does not end well. Trust me. I have a few scratches to prove it. 

“Oh baby, it’s okay. I won’t say anything. Why don’t you take a quick shower and I’ll go get you some new clothes. Namjoon said there’s a washer, I’ll throw these in right away.” 

Jimin nodded, I peppered his cheek with kisses before leaving the bathroom. 

“I’m so sorry JK, this was all Yoongi’s idea.” 

“Hey, you can’t put all the blame on me! I told you to make sure it was Jungkook walking first!” 

“I went upstairs to check on Jae! I told you were in charge of watching the door before I went up!” 

Yoongi and Taehyung continued to bicker. I shook my head and chuckled. These people are idiots, Jimin is right about that. “Hey Seokjin, where’s the washer?” 

“It’s downstairs in the basement, don’t worry it’s not scary down there,” he added on at the end. I’m not scared of any basement. Okay, maybe my own. Only because it’s creepy and cold, who knows what’s hiding down there. 

I headed downstairs and Minjae came down with me to check it out. “Hey, I was wondering if we could go grocery shopping together, I wanted to cook for everyone tonight,” he said.

“Oh, Seokjin does the cooking. You should just relax!” I looked around the basement and there was a whole game room down here with multiple game consoles on a shelf and a huge flat screen TV. 

“I really want to do something for you all, I feel like such an intruder.” Minaje sounded really sad and I felt bad. I’ve hung out with him a lot more than the others because of Taehyung being my roommate. We have a pretty good friendship. I don’t like my friends being sad and I wish there was something I could do. 

“If you really want to then I’m sure you can. Just know that you don’t have to. We don’t expect that from you. Also, some of the guys may not seem welcoming but that’s just how they are at first. The longer you stick around the more open they’ll become. Give it some time and don’t beat yourself up about it,” I reassured him, and he smiled. “Thanks, Jungkook, I have a list of things I want to buy for dinner tonight. Who else is going shopping? Do you know if Namjoon is going?”

I raised an eyebrow, “Namjoon? Probably not but if Seokjin is going then maybe. Why? Are you still avoiding him? I told you not to. He’s a hard ass at first but he’s really cool.” 

“He hates me. The way he looks at makes me want to peel my skin off.” 

I laughed, “He looks at everyone that way, that’s just his face. He doesn’t know how to smile, unless he’s talking to Seokjin. Then there’s always a huge grin on his face.” 

“He hates that I’m with Taehyung.” 

“If he hated someone being with Taehyung then he should have been with Taehyung when he got the chance. I don’t think he hates you being with Taehyung in that way though. Just in a way that doesn't hurt my best friend type of way. Get to know him before you fully conclude on his feelings for you.” 

Minjae nodded as I turned on the washing machine and turned around to head back up. “This place is huge and is so-.” 

“Expensive? That’s Seokjin’s taste, mostly his mother’s doing.” I said. Once we headed back upstairs, I grabbed a clean pair of pants and boxers for Jimin then headed back to the bathroom. 

“It’s me,” I said as I closed the door behind me. “I didn’t have my toiletries with me, so it doesn’t even feel like I showered,” Jimin pouted. “I used whatever was in the bathroom already, the soap is expensive, I have to be clean.” 

Jimin looks extra adorable when he’s upset. He has a constant pout which pushes out his very kissable lips. His eyebrows were knitted together, and he stands with his arms either crossed or at his side. The typical, ‘I’m mad, don’t talk to me’ Jimin stance. 

“Come on, let’s get you dressed.” I laughed pulling him closer, “You don’t need to dress me, I’m mad not physically hurt. Everything still works. I just want to punch them both.” 

“Okay, Jimnie I love you so much. You know that, so please hear me out when I say, I don’t think you should be this mad about it. It was a prank that failed. We can think of something else to get them back if you’d like but let’s not ruin a trip over a bucket of water. Please?” I looked down at him giving him the best doe eyes I could. 

Jimin sighs throwing his arms around my waist, “We need to have the best prank. I say we prank Hobi, he would never expect it.” 

“Hobi wasn’t part of this.”

“Hobi is dating Yoongi, they’re basically the same person.” 

I chuckled, “Alright, we can prank Hobi next.” I kiss his forehead, “Get dressed, I’m starving. Minjae is cooking for us tonight.” 

“Hmm, interesting. I didn’t know he could cook.” 

“Me too, but we will find out.”

————————— 

“I don’t get why Seokjin didn’t just cook. His cooking skills are amazing.” Namjoon pouts at the table. It’s been a few hours, Minjae, Yoongi, and Seokjin went to the grocery store to pick up a long list of food. The rest of us stayed back and hung out in the backyard. They had a ping pong table, a foosball table, a tennis court, a hot tub, and a very large pool. 

Now everyone was back, dinner was also ready to be served, and Namjoon was not amused. “Minjae wanted to cook for us, it’s a nice gesture. Don’t be so rude.” I heard Seokjin hissed from across the table. I looked down once and swear they’re playing footsies. Yoongi informed Hoseok and I through our small group chat that he walked in on a very gruesome scene of Seokjin on top of Namjoon earlier. I knew they were together, before this whole mission thing. I’m not sure why they’re hiding it. If they want to do that badly then I’m sure they have their reasons and I’m not going to announce their secret just for my own entertainment. 

Jimin sat on the other side of me, he wasn't upset anymore but he clearly had this thinking face on to come up with an idea on how to prank Hoseok. “Dinner is ready!” Taehyung beamed as he brought the food over with Minjae. It was a mix of Korean and American foods. Way more than I expected. The variety was endless and due to the fact that I did not eat since morning, I knew I was going to scarf everything down in sight. 

“Minjae, this is amazing!” Hoseok said, not being the only one showering him in compliments over his dishes. Maybe it was the hunger, but I swear his food felt like an orgasm in my mouth. It was so good. Everyone enjoyed it, even Namjoon who had three helpings of everything but didn’t once say anything or made eye contact. 

Dinner didn’t last long, most of us were super tired so an early bedtime is exactly what everyone needed. After dinner a few people helped with cleaning up while the other half got ready for bed. “I can’t believe even after this whole prank; I’m still forced to sleep on the couch.” 

“The couch bed isn’t too bad,” I said spreading our blankets out and placing the pillows on. “It’s literally in the middle of the house, there’s no way we could have sex and not everyone hear us.” 

“Maybe if we’re quiet,” I suggested, “Or maybe we can sacrifice sex for just one-week Jimin.” I shrugged, Jimin usually doesn’t find something to complain about, it’s usually me and he’s the levelheaded one so it’s weird being in opposite roles. 

“No sex for one week, are you crazy? I was so looking forward to having sex here with you.” He pouted again, “We could switch room,” Taehyung says suddenly, “if you really want the privacy, Minjae and I we don’t or well we haven’t had sex yet and I doubt we would on this trip with everyone around.” 

“No, you won fair and square, we can survive with no sex.” I said, Jimin whined like a baby and got into bed. “Hurry up and turn the lights off. Sleep on the floor or something as well, just don’t be near me.” 

I sighed, “Your stupid prank got him in such a mood, this is all your fault.” I hissed at Taehyung. 

“Just dick him down once, I’m sure that’ll help. I’ll tell everyone to close their ears, or they can listen. Whatever they like.” Taehyung said, I shook my head, “No, it’s okay. I’ll just let him sleep it off, he’s tired so it’s adding to his crankiness.”

“I can hear you! Shut the lights off and go the hell to sleep!” Jimin barked.

Taehyung laughed, “Goodnight” he sang as he headed upstairs leaving me alone with this monster he created.


	20. I'm a fool for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: This is what it takes by Shawn Mendes

Yoongi’s POV: 

If there’s one thing Hobi and I know how to do is ignore a bad situation. We never really spoke about what happened yesterday in the car. Last night Hoseok was asleep before I even crawled into bed and when I woke up, I could hear his laughs echoing from downstairs. 

Hoseok is jealous of JB, that boy is crazy. That boy is blind. I am so in love with him it eats me away that he doesn’t love me back. The last three plus years has always been at his pace. As long as he’s comfortable, we’re both happy. But I’ve been feeling selfish lately, I want to hear the three words I’ve been longing for weeks now. I want to reach my hand in his mouth and pulled the three words that I know has to be wrapped around somewhere in there. He has to love me right. Why would we still be together if he didn’t? It’s not the sex. It’s Hoseok, he could have sex with anything. It has to be me, he loves me. He has to. If not, then I don’t know what I would do. 

Nothing would be more heartbreaking than Jung Hoseok not loving me. 

I rolled out of bed to head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Today we weren’t doing much, our friends are all arriving at different times throughout the day. I think because of break there will be a lot of day drinking involved. By the end of it Hoseok might have so much alcohol in his body that I’m sure someone could get drunk off his piss, if it works that way. I don't know anything about the human body, I’m a music major. Biology isn’t my thing. 

After brushing my teeth and choosing my not so surprising all black outfit. I made my way downstairs, the smell of waffles instantly brightening my mood. The second I stepped foot into the kitchen a mug of coffee was slid towards me, I looked in time to make eye contact with the one and only Hoseokie. He beamed; his eyes glowing as he looked at me. “Good morning, I let you sleep in. No point in waking up early over spring break, right?” He smiles at me, his bright gorgeous smile. The one that greets me at all times of the day, and I can’t help falling in love with each time. 

“It’s not too late, it’s only, huh. 12pm” I mumbled looking at the clock above the stove. “At least I didn’t miss the waffles!” I said, piling three up on a plate then squeezing syrup all over them. Seokjin’s waffles were my guilty pleasure. He only made them for company. Waffles are a treat by Seokjin. I always devoured them. 

“Yoongi!” Jimin smiled as he walked into the kitchen, the rest of the guys were out back. Hoseok sat in the kitchen as Seokjin cleaned up. “I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for being just a brat yesterday. After a good 9 hours of sleep I realized that, I won’t hold a grudge because I will win this prank war.” 

“You think you could beat me in pranks? Oh, I really want to see that happen.” 

“You will grandpa. Just wait and see, you know what hit ya!” Jimin screeched at the end and all of a sudden, a plate of whipped cream was stuffed in my face. 

“HOLY SHIT!” Jungkook shouts from outside, “Jimin, I didn’t think you’d actually be able to get him!” 

I wiped some of the cream off my eyes and licked some into my mouth. “That was so childish. Play like a man, if not then forfeit. We play dirty around here. This was a bit too sweet for my taste.” I glared at him. “Hm, well how about salty?” he asked, I raised an eyebrow. “Call your pranks whatever the hell you want, it doesn’t matter. You won’t beat me.” 

Jimin turns of his heel walking away. This child really thinks he pulled a fast one and is now in the lead. He’s the one that won’t know what hit him. He needs to watch his back, same for his precious boyfriend. 

“Hoseok, we’ve got a war to win,” I said wiping more cream off my face. Hoseok ran a finger across my cheek grabbing some of the whip cream then sucking it off. “Sorry my love, I want nothing to do with this. I will happily cheer you on from the sidelines,” He grinned. “It’s fine. I don’t need your help anyways; you’d probably slow me down or get in the way.” 

Those two are dead meat. 

Seokjin’s POV: 

I walked next door to the other house and went inside. Everyone had their friends coming today so I wanted to make sure everything was all set. The first thing I did was shut off the cameras. We don’t need my mom peeking in on seven grown men she doesn’t know. It would be awkward for both sets of people. I made sure the beds all had sheets, blankets, and pillows. I made sure all the bathrooms were stocked with soap, shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper. I bought a few essentials for the kitchen such as bread, milk, coffee, eggs, and lots of meat. I wanted everyone to feel at home away from home. 

I didn’t know these guys well; I’ve only hung out with some of them a handful of times. Yugyeom was the only person none of us has actually met and I know that means he also doesn’t know the guys he will be staying with. I wanted him to feel extra welcomed. He’s for sure going to have his own room. I think Jimin even mentioned staying with him here. Which caused Jungkook to go into panic mode because he doesn’t want to sleep alone downstairs. Namjoon offered to switch with him on the nights Jimin doesn’t stay with us. It seems as though I may be getting a new roommate for the rest of the trip. It's better this way. I can avoid all temptations when it comes to Namjoon. 

“Hello?” A question voice said from the front door. I walked out of the kitchen and headed into the living room. “Hey!” I said cheerfully, the man standing in front of me was tall. He had black hair that fell over his eyes. His body was slim but built. He looked like a dancer. 

“You must be Yugyeom, Jimin’s friend?” I asked, walking over to greet him properly. “I’m Seokjin!” 

“Seokjin, the one dating Namjoon? I’ve heard about you!” 

I felt myself flushed, “I’m not dating Namjoon, but I’m glad Jimin talks about me and my personal life.” 

“It’s not like that, don’t worry! I won’t tell anyone the things he says about you or the others! Not that he says anything bad, all good things I swear! Oh gosh- I’m rambling, I’m usually cooler than this. I’m sorry let’s start over?” 

I laughed, “No need for apologies, I ramble all the time as well. Let’s just get you settled and then head over next door to the house we’re staying at. You can pick any room upstairs you’d like. I’ll wait down here!” 

“Thank you, Seokjin,” Yugyeom said as he headed upstairs. Just then the front door swings open and in runs an excited Jimin with everyone else following. “Don’t you dare trash this place, you animals,” I warned everyone. “We’re not here to trash the place. We’re here because Jimin said we had to come with him,” Yoongi grumbles. 

Jimin jumped up and down like a 5-year-old who just got a new toy, “YUGGIE!” he shouted. Yugyeom peeks over the stair railing, he had the biggest grin on his face, “MOCHI!” 

Yugyeom runs downstairs happily and greets a happy Jimin. Jimin runs to him and jumps on. “I missed you so much!” Jimin said while hugging onto his friend. “I missed you too, lovely,” he kisses Jimin on the forehead and I swear I heard Jungkook gasping for air in the back. 

“Yuggie, meet my friends!” Jimin chirped, he locked fingers with Yugyeom and pulls him closer to the guys. “This is Namjoon, my roommate! Taehyung, his best friend.” 

“Oh, the one that always barges in?” 

“Yes, that one.”

Taehyung looked offended but just smiled warmly.

“This is Seokjin,”

“We’ve met, he’s kinda cute,” he said winking at me. Hoseok snorted and Namjoon shifted uncomfortably. 

“That’s Hoseok, his best friend. They live across the hall from us. We can’t forget Yoongi, Hoseok's boyfriend. Minjae, is Taehyung’s friend. I told you a little about him.” 

“Yes, the new boy toy.”

“The what?” Minjae piped up, Taehyung rubbed his arm and whispered something to him to calm him down. 

“Lastly, this is Jungkookie,” Jimin beamed. 

“The boyfriend,” Yugyeom said, his tone changing just a little. Jungkook cleared his throat. “Yes, the boyfriend.” 

“Now you’ve met everyone we can go hang out or something. I was thinking of staying with you so you’re not alone?” 

“Oh, that would be great. We can be alone,” he said that as he looks at Jungkook with a smirk on his face. 

“Yeah. We have so much to catch up on. Let’s go get my things. Jungkook sweetie, you’re fine with staying with Seokjin?”

Jungkook nodded, “Yeah, you don’t get to see your friend all the time. It’s okay.” Jungkook smiles at Jimin and Yugyeom. “So kind of you,” Yugyeom said before following Jimin out the door. 

“Oh, and Seokjin, you have such a lovely house. Thank you for letting me stay here!” 

The two of them leave. “He’s trying to steal my boyfriend,” Jungkook panicked. 

“No, he’s trying to get with Seokjin,” Namjoon says through his teeth causing everyone to look at him. Including me with wide eyes, “Uh I mean, you know, like don’t worry Jungkook he doesn’t want Jimin in that way. He-he likes Seokjin,” Namjoon tried to save himself but it doesn’t work. 

“Jealousy is the number one cause of death,” Taehyung said, shaking his head at Namjoon. 

“Actually, the number one cause of death is heart disease,” Yoongi said confidently. 

“Is it really? I thought it was cancer?” Hoseok asked. Jungkook groaned, “This trip will be the cause of my death.” He leaves the house heading back next door like a lost sad puppy. 

Everyone follows him, but Namjoon doesn’t. He stays back with me as I locked up, placing the key in the flowerpot. I turned around to leave and bump right into him. He pushes me against the door, his arms snake around my waist. “Namjoon, we’re in public.” 

He ignores me, instead slamming him lips against mine. He was rough and determined to clearly prove a point. “Hmmm, Joonie,” I said pushing him away, “As much as I love the attention, we can’t do this right here.” 

“You’re mine,” he said, stepping back. My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t realize how serious Namjoon took the cute comment. The way he was protective of me, the way jealousy was dripping of his knitted eyebrows and pursed lips. I was taken aback, blown away. 

“I don’t think you can just claim a person,” I tested him, “I for one don’t like being claimed. I’m no one’s, I’m my own.” 

Namjoon licked his lips, “You’re unbelievable.” He squinted his eyes. 

I laughed, stepping forward to place a kiss on his lips now. “But I wouldn’t mind being yours.” I pushed passed him and walked back to the other house. Namjoon quickly catches up with me, “Why do you ruin every cute moment.” 

“I didn’t ruin it, I added to it. Don’t ya think?” 

Namjoon grumbles under his breath. “No one is taking me from you, the jokes on you. You don’t even have me yet.” 

“Yet, so like soon?”

“Depends, let’s see how this trip goes.” More like, I’m still debating on if I should run. Get as far away as possible from Namjoon and all these feelings before we get hurt. 

Namjoon walks close to me, our fingertips brushes. We get back to the other house. Before we go inside, I pull Joonie towards me. “Kiss me, quick,” I said, he licked his lips before pressing his to mine. I melted, Namjoon makes melt. Like when your popsicles slowly melts on a warm summer day. It gets everywhere, rolls down your hand and you try as fast to lick it all up. The sweet stickiness is summer, the sweet stickiness is kissing Namjoon. 

Namjoon’s tongue flicks against mine, his hand grips my waist. I run my fingers through his hair. Someone clears their throat behind us, “Sorry to ruin the moment but-.” I gasped, turning around to face Jackson. “Hey,” Namjoon breathes out, “You’re here!” 

“Good to see you, Jackson,” I said smiling, Namjoon places his hand on my back. “We-we’re not together if that’s what you’re wondering,” he said and Jackson smiles. “I’m actually wondering where’s the bathroom because I need to pee. But since you brought it up, I see you guys are really close now?” Jackson teases in his voice. I awkwardly laugh, “Ha, yeah. You can say that or how about you say nothing and pretend you didn’t see anything.” 

“I could do that but-,”

“Jackson,” Namjoon deadpanned. 

“I won’t say anything, I swear but you two do realize making out in front of the house will easily get you caught?” 

“We know, we’re not stupid we’re just-.”

“Letting your dicks talk instead of your brain, got it. Now where’s the bathroom?” 

We brought Jackson into the house. “You’ll stay next door but everyone else is here for now. Go to the bathroom and I can take you next door when you’re ready,” I told him. 

“Oh! Jackson, meet Yugyeom, my best friend from back home.” 

“Hello, I’m Jackson, which he just said but hello,” Jackson shakes his hand. “What the hell is the formal greeting. You’ve never done that to me!” Namjoon whines. 

“You’re not tall dark and handsome like he is,” Jackson hissed. “You’re not too bad yourself,” Yugyeom beams from the compliment. 

“Seokjin, he said I’m not handsome,” Namjoon whispers next to me. “Oh, Joonie bear, you’re the cutest little thing,” I squeezed his cheeks. Namjoon huffs, “I don’t want to be cute; I want to be handsome.” He folds his arms and marches away. 

“Okay, bathroom. Where is it? I’m going to explode. You don’t want me pissing all over this expensive carpet. Do you?”

“Why does everyone have to talk about things being expensive,” I grumbled, showing him the bathroom. 

“Because everything here is expensive. It feels like a 5-star hotel,” Jimin says. “More like 4.5 star but that’s okay,” Yuggie jokes. 

“Okay I don’t know if it’s just me, but I really don’t like this guy,” Jungkook says, from behind me. “Don’t let Jimin hear that. He seems to absolutely adores him,” Yoongi says, dragging out the o is adore. 

“We’re leaving, we will be back soon!” Jimin heads out with Yugyeom. 

Jackson comes out of the bathroom, “That guy seems to love to speak his mind.” He wipes his hands on his jeans. “There’s towels in there, expensive towels.” Jungkook swings his hand around, “No need to use your jeans.” 

Jackson shrugs, “Namjoon, you have a very high maintenance boyfriend to deal with.” 

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Namjoon quickly defends himself. 

“Oh right, you don’t have a boyfriend,” Jackson chuckles, I pinch my nose. This is going to be a long trip. Is it really only the second day? 

Jungkook’s POV:  
I sat outside in the hot tub. Jimin has been with his precious Yuggie all day. I sipped my now warm beer and sighed. I was so spaced out that when I got splashed by water, I let out a shriek. “Kookie, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Jimin laughs. He comes into the tub and sits on my lap. 

“Hi Kookie,” he breathes out. “Hi Chim,” I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his nose. “More kisses, I miss them.” He presses his lips to mine, “The beer aftertaste is gross,” Jimin scrunches his face in disgust. “I’m sorry, I’ve been drinking since you left. I’m bored.” 

“You sat out here drinking alone for the past two hours? What a sad life.” Jimin pokes fun at me, I splashed him with water, and he shrieks splashing me back. We play fight in the hot tub for a little bit and somewhere in between it all we ended up having a heated. A very heated, make out session. Jimin sits on my lap and kisses down my chest. I felt him kneading my member over my swim trunks. 

I let out a small growl, I didn’t mean to but being semi drunk doesn’t help my situation. I felt Jimin slip is hand down my pants and wraps his fingers around me. “Babyyy,” I moaned as he pumps me. “I love you my pretty boy, my Jungkookie,” Jimin breathes out. He begins nibbling on my neck, using his other free hand to gently squeeze my nipples. “Jimin-, I- I’m sorry but it's so much and I’m gonna cum. I’m gunna, Chim baby,” I moaned loudly, it’s all too much. His tender hand around my dick, his lovely fingers on my nipples, his beautiful lips on my neck. We’re in public. Public. 

This is so hot. Jimin is so sexy. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Seokjin shouts, Jimin pulls away. “NOT IN THE FUCKING HOT TUB, OH GOD NO NOT THE HOT TUB!” Seokjin sounds distraught. He stands by the door to go into the house. “Are you crazy? Were you about to have an orgasm in the hot tub? Do you know how disgusting that is? Do you realize that others are supposed to use this?” 

“Seokjin! Leave them alone. What the hell? Why would you ruin such a great moment?!” Taehyung screams from behind the bush. 

“Were you there the whole time?!” I yelled at Taehyung. “Listen, I was back here trying to find a tennis ball and I might have seen a few things, but I swear I’m not a creep! I was minding my business. OH, it’s the ball. Gotta get back to the game. JAE! I found it!” Taehyung dips behind the bushes again. 

“Seokjin! We are so sorry!” Jimin cries out, “I didn’t think it would get that far!” 

“Just get a fucking room, use my room! Just not in the hot tub.” 

“JUNGKOOK, YOUR ORGASM FACE IS WORSE THAN MINE!” Hoseok screams from a window upstairs. I see Yoongi and Hoseok standing there, their heads poking out. Oh god. Who else saw, who else saw?

“Oh my god! Shut the fuck up Hoseok, leave Jungkook alone! His face is cute!” 

“How would you know? You had your eyes closed the whole time!” Yoongi yells. “You can see so much from up here by the way. Namjoon sucks at tennis and is losing against Minjae and Taehyung. Jackson looks pissed,” Yoongi informs everyone. 

“Hey, what’s all the screaming about?” Yugyeom asks as he comes over from next door. “Can I sit in the hot tub with you guys?” He happily takes a seat next to Jimin. Great. 

“Jungkook almost came in that. There’s probably pre cum floating, watch out,” Seokjin says as he comes outside with lemonade. 

“Fuck you, seriously fuck you all,” I grumbled getting out. “No Jungkookie, don't leave!” Jimin calls after me. 

“No, I’ve been in there for too long, I’m getting dizzy. I’ll be in the game room if needed.” I quickly made my way inside getting away from everyone. I changed into my sweats, grabbed a bag of chips, and made my way downstairs to take my frustration with some Mario kart. 

I played alone for a good 20 minutes before I saw a figure standing in front of the tv. “Hey, Jungkook. Can we talk?” Yugyeom voice rang in my head. “I guess, I’m clearly playing, and you are in the way.” 

“Jimin wants us to hang out. Something about his best friend and his boyfriend being friends.” 

“Okay, we can hang out in silence.” 

“No, we should really talk.” 

“We are talking.”

“Jungkook, listen. Jimin is right, you are sort of stubborn at times.”

“Boy, Jimin tells you everything.” 

“No, not really. Just most things. We’re pretty close.” 

“I can see that. We all can see that,” I spat. “Do you at least want to play with me as we talk, or how about just playing and no talking?” 

“Nah, I don't really like playing video games.” 

“You don’t like video games? What kind of monster are you? Not even Mario Kart or like Wii sports?” 

“Nope, I don’t even own a game console thingy. Is that what they are called?”

I cannot believe Jimin loves this guy, he is so different. “So, what did you do for fun?”

“Dance. I’ve been dancing for years. It’s my one true love.”

“You sound just like Jimin,” I snickered. 

“Why do you think we are so close, for shits and giggles? We are the only one that understands each other’s lifestyle. We both had strict moms growing up, we dieted as young children, and we worked our asses off.” 

“I think that’s cool. I do sports, for fun though. I’m on a few teams at school now. I used to be on all the teams back in high school. Or at least the ones that didn’t conflict with each other. I loved sports, but not as much as video games. I can’t refuse a good game of Mario Kart.” 

Yugyeom laughs, “I see why Jimin has been so intrigued in learning how to play different games. He knows nothing about video games but started learning for you.” 

My eyes lit up, “Really, for me? That is so sweet, so Jimin.” 

“You better not hurt him, or I will hunt you down. You do know, that right? No one hurts my mochi, my mochi.” 

“You’re very protective,” 

“Yeah too protective, got in the way when we dated so it didn’t work out. Jimin doesn’t like clingy, overprotective types.” 

“Dated?” I gulped; this explains so much. This is why they are so close. Jimin lied to me. He said they were just friends. Just friends. I shot up from my seat, “Sorry, I need to speak to Jimin bout something.” I ran up the stairs to find everyone hanging out in the living room. JB, Bambam, and Youngjae were also here. I guess I missed when they arrived from being downstairs. The air up here felt tense. Seokjin was in the middle of a joke when I walked in. No one was laughing, no one even smiled. 

I scanned the room to see Jimin sitting on the couch, clutching a bottle of beer in his hand, smiling at whatever the hell Seokjin was saying. 

“Park Jimin, can I speak to you for a second?” I asked, my voice sounded harsh, I didn’t want to sound this harsh, but I couldn’t help it. He lied to me. He said they were just friends. Why did I believe him? 

Everyone looked at me, Yoongi gave Hoseok a questioning look. Seokjin stopped talking and glared at me. Jimin looked confused, very confused. “Yeah, sure.” He stands up and walks towards me. The second he gets in hands reach I grabbed his wrist and drag him upstairs. I go to the nearest bedroom and shut the door. 

“What the fuck Jimin, you guys dated? Dated? And you decided not to tell me?” 

Jimin stares at me, he blinks, twice. “It was a while ago. It didn’t work out, but we stayed friends.”

“Friends, you guys sure do seem friendly.”

“What is that supposed to mean? Jungkook, I do not see a problem here.” 

“You don’t see a problem? You’re planning on spending the night with a guy who is your ex-boyfriend. You were going to sleep in the same bed with your ex-boyfriend. Who you failed to mention to your current boyfriend that he is your ex, not just your best friend, your ex.”

Jimin laughs, “Oh, Jungkookie, you’re reading too much into things.” Jimin tries to hug me and push his arms away. “You’re a liar,” I spat, “You lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t tell you, but I would have if you asked.” 

“I did! You said he was your best friend, not your boyfriend.” 

“Because he wasn’t and still isn’t, obviously. You’re being ridiculous. I’m with you now, I love you.” 

“Do you, do you really love me or are you lying?” 

“Jungkook, listen to me. You need to calm down and listen to me. I love you. I’m sorry I didn't say anything, I didn’t think it was that important. Yuggie is just my friend.” 

“He still likes you. Do you not see the way he treats you? He likes you. He is trying to take you away from me.” 

Jimin scoffed, “Jungkook you just met him, you know nothing about him.” 

“I don’t need to know him to know that he wants my boyfriend, the way he touches you, the way he looks at you. It’s disgusting, everyone sees it. He undresses you with his eyes, he’s a pig. His comments are rude, he is in everyone’s business. Why are you friends with this dumbass? He's a jackass.” 

Jimin shook his head and laughed, “The only jackass I see here is you, fuck you.” Jimin spins on his heels and storms out. He slams the door behind him. Here we go again. We have to deal with angry Jimin. 

Namjoon’s POV:  
Jimin and Jungkook are fighting. Yoongi and Hoseok wants to kill each other. Seokjin keeps giving Taehyung death glares every time he talks to me. Minjae looks punchable. Jackson is clueless. Jinyoung and Mark hates me. I can feel it. Taehyung is Taehyung. Bambam does not want to be here. JB is such an instigator. Youngjae is so sweet, what a sweetie. Yugyeom can go suck a dick. The room is suffocating. I want to leave this hell hole of a spring break vacation. 

We have alcohol, lots of it. If we were sober it would have been the hunger games in here. Every man for themselves. Spare no life. 

The conversations are forced but as the night goes on and more alcohol enters our system things feel lighter. People are getting along. For now, someone will explode, and our trip will be ruined. It already is honestly. It’s been ruined before we even got here. Coming here was a mistake, who's ever idea this was, they’re an idiot. This is a dangerous thing, putting all of us together in one house. I am so sorry Seokjin’s mom, your place will be trashed if one person goes off, we all will blow. No one is safe. 

“We should have some toast” Jungkook said as he sipped from his beer. “Don’t you think you’re already putting too many carbs into your body?” Jimin asked. Jungkook made a face, “What my coach doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” 

“We can’t make toast anyways. We don’t have a toaster because someone didn’t look at the list while packing,” Seokjin said through his teeth at Hobi. “Listen, I already had to make sure Yoongs had everything, I couldn’t look at your list as well.” 

“Do not bring me into this. I didn’t need your help to pack,” Yoongi rolled his eyes. 

“Well, toasters aren’t allowed in the dorms so why would you have one?” I asked Seokjin. He pursed his lips. 

“You are so right RA RM, we would’ve had to buy one,” he said trying to save his ass and I chuckled. 

“Are you really telling me you wouldn’t think he had a toaster?” Yoongi asked me. 

“Taehyung, we should buy a toaster for our room, how much are they?” Jungkook asked. “Why the hell would I know, am I toaster expert?” 

“Let’s look it up toaster genius,” Jungkook pulled out his phone and his eyes widened, “Who the fuck would buy a toast for $130?” 

“I would, high quality toaster for a high-quality man,” Seokjin beamed and I smirked. He is so full of himself sometimes, but I weirdly love it.

“I should go into the toaster business,” Jungkook said. 

“The what?” I raised my eyebrow. 

“Oh my gosh, yes! We could be partners and create our own toaster!” Taehyung said eagerly. 

“What’s so special about your toaster? why should I drop big bucks on this product?” Jimin asked going along with the idiots. 

“Okay, first of all, it would be in the shape of a slice of toast because HOW COOL?” Jungkook exclaimed. 

“Yes, great idea and it should be thin because metal heats up quicker if it’s thinner and that means crispier toast,” Taehyung added. Yoongi let out a snort, “You have got to be kidding me” 

“GENIUS, TAEHYUNG, PURE GENIUS,” Jungkook shouted. 

“Why else should we invest our money on your product?” Minjae asked, my throat tightened up by his voice. Why is he here again? 

“It’s a toaster for the people, by the people,” Jungkook grinned, “I love this idea, we are going to be rich.” 

“Do you hear yourself when you speak?” Hobi asked which caused us all to laugh. “Hey, it’s a smart idea and when we are rich don’t come running to us. We will never befriend non-supporters,” Taehyung said folding his arms. 

“I will invest my life savings on this product just for you Taetae,” Minjae said putting his arm around Taehyung’s shoulder. Taetae, did he really just call him Taetae? Barf. 

“Who’s hungry, let’s eat!” Jackson said, “I was thinking we can order pizza?”

“Absolutely not, I’ll cook dinner!” Seokjin stands up too quickly and stumbles, he falls over and lands on me. “I think you drank a bit too much; you can’t cook,” I laughed at him. He crosses his arms, “I am perfectly fine Joonie bear. I’ll cook right now. What does everyone want?” Seokjin wraps one arm around my neck and holds me close. I sit there still, not knowing how to act. Isn’t this giving things away? Do we not really care anymore? 

“I can help you cook, I didn’t drink that much,” Minjae said and I groaned lightly. Seokjin chuckles, he places his other hand on my chest, “Be nice, Joon,” he whispers. 

I don’t think he’s sober enough to realize what he’s doing. “I can help,” JB says, “I don’t cook often but I can help.” 

“We all can help, maybe not Namjoon, but most of us!” Taehyung chirped. 

“Okay then if you’d like to help let’s go!” Seokjin says. Before Seokjin unwraps himself from me he leans forward to kiss me and I panic. “What are you doing!?” I exclaimed; I heard a few chuckles from people but ignored them. Seokjin stands up, “Nothing, I- I gotta go,” he quickly heads to the kitchen and is followed by Minjae, Taehyung, and JB. 

“He was so going to kiss you,” Jackson laughed. I glared at him. 

“Why was he going to kiss you Joon?” Yoongi asked, he’s evil. 

“I don’t know, he’s Seokjin. He’s also drunk right now.” 

“Are you sure? There’s nothing going on between you two?” Hoseok asked. “No,” I stood and headed outside, I don’t want to be questioned right now. 

I sat on the benches in the back scrolling through my phone. Someone cleared their voice, I looked up and to my huge surprise, so surprising I had to blink three times and pinch myself. 

“Hey, Mark,” I forced out a smile. “Can I sit with you?” 

“Yeah, go for it.” 

“Seokjin’s house is amazing,” he starts, I nodded. “It is, I wouldn’t mind coming here again. You know with less people.” 

“Just him, you two can come together,” Mark said, he shrugged his shoulders. 

“Why would we just come alone?” 

Mark chuckles, “Namjoon, what happened between us was years ago and were both in very different places in life. I’m not mad at you anymore. I haven’t been mad for a long time. I know things have been super awkward, but I don’t want that. I’d like to have a chance to actually be friends with you. I’d like you and Jinyoung to be friends again. I’d like you to be happy and be with that man you clearly love.” 

I stared at him like he was crazy, he is crazy. “I don’t love Seokjin, I don’t know one thing about loving someone.” 

“You’re wrong, as much as we avoided each other. We also weirdly spent a lot of time together. You love so openly it consumes you. You love without even knowing, you love Seokjin. So, I need you to stop feeling like you’re a worthless piece of shit because you hurt me years ago, you hurt your ex, and you hurt Taehyung because we all are fine. We all are happy and moved on or working on moving on but we’re all good I promise. I think maybe you’d like to hear an outsider’s opinion on things. Seokjin loves you, he’d walk through fires to be with you. It’s been that way since he’s met you. It’s also obvious that you guys have been at least hooking up. You both looked way too comfortable on that couch.” 

Mark stops talking and I sit there. This is the most he has said to me in years and it is a lot to process. “Wait, you talk to my ex-girlfriend?” 

Mark nodded, “She reached out to me and apologized for barging in that day. We’re actually good friends, Jinyoung loves her.” 

“I haven’t heard from her since we broke up.”

“I know, she doesn’t know if you’d like to see her or not. She was so angry about you cheating, not being gay. I was so angry about you using me, not being gay. No one cares that you’re gay and not in a rude but in a we think you thought our issue has something to do with that but it’s not. We want you to be happy and be with someone you truly love, regardless of if they’re a man or a woman.” 

“I didn’t even know I liked guys honestly, but I liked having sex with you and that was so scary because I only ever slept with girls. Then there I was balls deep into a guy and it all became too much and it’s still so much if I really think about but with Seokjin, I feel safe. I’m comfortable and I’m ready to learn more about myself.” 

“Then be with Seokjin, no one is stopping you. The only person in the way is yourself.” 

“Taehyung. I- was so disrespectful to Taehyung.” 

Mark snorted, “I never really liked that guy, how I see it is Taehyung let you. He knew what you were going through and he still let you do all these things to him but then in the end played the broken heart card.” 

“I love Taehyung, I love him so much.” Mark looks at me and hums, “You love openly, you confuse your loves.” 

“I do, I really do. It’s not his fault I couldn’t figure my feelings out properly.”

“It’s his fault for making you feel shitty when you didn’t do anything wrong. Me too, though. I let you think you were a horrible person for the wrong reasons. You’re a horrible person for blaming me and for that I’d like to punch you in the face but everything else, you were learning more about yourself and in a weird way I’m happy I could help.” 

I laughed, “You can punch me if you want, but in a weird way, thank you. I’m glad we talked and cleared the air and I’m ready to put everything behind us and form a friendship, a great one.” 

“Me too, as long as you promise me that you’ll tell Seokjin how you truly feel. We’re all rooting for you, go for it. Getting hurt is a part of the game but I doubt you’d hurt each other. You love each other.” 

Just then Jinyoung comes outside with Taehyung. “What are you two talking about?” Jinyoung asked, sitting next to Mark. He kisses him on the cheek. “Uh-, us banging,” Mark grins, Jinyoung doesn’t look amused. “Aw don’t worry love; he was nowhere as good as you.” 

I snorted, “Hey, I’ve gotten better. I hope.” 

Taehyung chuckles, “He learned a few things over the years, he’s good with those hips,” Taehyung pokes my side. “Oh my god, no. We will not joke about us sleeping together. I don’t think our, your boyfriend-”

“And Seokjin, your boyfriend.”

“Not my boyfriend, yet.” 

“Yet, interesting.” 

“I don’t think they’d like sex jokes, no sex jokes.”

“Okay fine, sex jokes only when it’s the two of us.” 

“I sense weird sexual tension here,” Jinyoung said. “Taehyung, do you still want me to fuck you?” I raised an eyebrow. “Yes Namjoon, I want you to fuck me,” he wraps his arms around my neck bringing out faces super close together then burst into laughter. “Oh god, no no no,” he says through his laughs. “You’re so weird,” I grinned. “Your friendship is so weird. We will leave you two alone to talk,” they both get up and go back inside. 

Taehyung and I turn to face each other. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. 

“You said it so many times, I know,” he mumbled.

“I love you,” I said, rubbing his arm. 

“I love you more than you love me,” he wrapped his arms around me. 

“I know,” I said as I pulled him closer, my Taehyung. I broke my Taehyung. 

“Please, please, like Minjae. I really like Minjae,” he says as we continue to hug. “If you’re happy then I’m happy, love.” 

“He makes me happy, like Seokjin makes you happy. Please, please be with Seokjin.” 

“I want to, holy shit, I want to.” 

Taehyung and I laugh, it feels good to laugh with him again. I missed him so so much. “Wanna swim?” I asked him, he scrunched his face. “Never in a billion years would I step foot in that pool.” 

I laughed; I loved his weird thing of pools. I love him. 

“I need you to do something for me.” I said. “No, Namjoon I will not suck your dick.” 

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t want you to suck my dick. I want you to talk to Seokjin for me. He’s scared I’m going to leave him for you and-” 

“And that’s so not true, don’t worry. I’ll work my Taehyung Magic, anything for you Joonie. Be nicer to Minjae, he’s terrified of you.”

“Terrified! I’m not scary at all!”

“You literally kill him with your eyes EVERYTIME you see him.” 

“He better not hurt you or I will beat him up.”

“Why don’t you beat yourself up?”

“I did, for so long and I still am,” I said softly. Taehyung sighs, “We have a weird friendship.”

“We really really do, I know this sounds so stupid but thank you, you’ve helped me in so many ways.”

“Like I said, anything for you my Joonie,” Taehyung kisses my cheek, I kissed his forehead. “Let’s go inside before our boyfriends die, I bet they’re watching us from the window.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

“Your almost boyfriend is definitely watching us, look” Taehyung and I both looked at the window. They are there and they look horrified and it’s amusing in sort a fucked-up way. 

“I’ll talk to Seokjin, I promise,” Taehyung stands up. “Let’s go inside, now.” 

———

Dinner was made but Seokjin wasn’t around. I walked upstairs to find him puking in the bathroom. “Babe,” I said, I grabbed a glass of water on the nightstand and the Advil on the counter. “Did you take this yet, here take this,” I sat down on the floor next to him. 

“Leave me alone,” his voice was ice cold, “Please, leave me alone and don’t call me babe or baby or anything. Don’t talk to me.” 

“Seokjin, it wasn’t what it looked like and you know that.” 

“I don’t want to talk to you, I drank too much too quickly and I’m dying here,” he groaned, I rubbed his back. He flinched, “Don’t touch me.” 

“Seokjin, please.” 

“Why, why!?” 

“I want to be with you.” 

“No, you don’t or if you do then I don’t care,” Seokjin pukes again, tears rolling down his cheeks. He hangs his head over the toilet for a few seconds and then groans. 

We sat in silence for a while, “I can’t be with you if you’re friends with him.” 

“Then I can’t be with you if I’m not friends with him.”

Seokjin cries, “Leave me alone then.” 

“Why do I have to choose? He’s just my friend. Seokjin, you’re my boyfriend.” 

“I am not your boyfriend, don’t call me that,” Seokjin stands up. I follow him into the room. He sits on the bed holding his head. “What the hell was all that outside?” 

“We were just talking”

“Didn’t look like just talking,”

“It was just talking,”

“Minjae is sad.”

“Fuck Minjae.”

“No, fuck you!”

“You’re so irritating, I’m not doing anything wrong! Fuck, I hugged him, he’s my best friend. I kissed his forehead, he’s my best friend. I didn’t fuck him -.” 

“YOU DID!”

“We weren’t together! I am tired of having this fight with you. Everyone says be with Seokjin be with Seokjin. It’s impossible to be with someone like you.” 

Seokjin laughs, he just fucking laughs. “This is why, this is exactly why I didn’t want this. Leave or I’m leaving.” 

“I’ll leave, I don’t want to be here anymore.” 

“Okay, I’ll even pay for your Uber back to school. Just leave.” 

“That’s like $600, you can’t.” 

“Do you have $600?”

“No, but -.”

“Fuck, just stay next door and ride back with Jungkook and Jimin.” 

“I wanted to be with you,” I said quietly.

“And I would rather be alone than be with you, just leave.” 

“Really?”

“Really.” Seokjin nodded, “Can you leave now? I’m going to shower and go to bed. It’s actually late.” 

I didn’t say anything but walk out the door. I went downstairs and everyone was quiet. “The um, the cameras were on, someone turned the cameras on,” Jimin said staring at me, everyone staring at me. 

“Oh,” 

“MOM!” We heard Seokjin screaming from upstairs. That explains it. 

“Namjoon,” Taehyung says, “Namjoon, would you like chicken?” he asks and I nod, he knows me so well. I would never pick someone else over my Taehyung. Seokjin is fucking stupid to even think that.


	21. Our heart a little clear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: Capital Letters by Hailee Steinfeld

Taehyung’s POV: 

Last night things ended really weird, Namjoon and Seokjin had a huge fight. Seokjin left us and went to bed at like 10 so after we all had a late dinner, we decided to call it a night as well. We spent most of yesterday drinking so people were in weird half-drunk, half hung over phases. We needed sleep so going to bed before midnight was not an issue for me. 

The next day we all sort of stayed out of each other’s hair, for what was supposed to be a great vacation with friends turned out to us just awkwardly breathing in the same place. Minjae and I talked about a few things in terms of Namjoon and how we are. I guess he’s right about how Namjoon and I are super close, closer than most friends so I can see why Seokjin and Minjae are both upset. I can also see where past relations plays a big role. If the way we acted didn’t lead to us sleeping together then it would be fine, but I understand why they are on edge when they see Namjoon and I all over each other. Even if we are not thinking about hooking up with each other, I know it looks like we are. And I’m stupid enough to know that’s not a good look when we’re both in ‘relationships’. 

I didn’t do much today besides lounge around. Namjoon and Seokjin stayed on complete opposite sides of the room. They wouldn’t even make eye contact, but I swear I saw them both in the kitchen whispering and holding hands. Seokjin didn’t look pleased and Namjoon looked terrified throughout the whole thing so yeah, that talk didn’t help the situation. 

Namjoon asked me for a favor and maybe I should actually do it. I did promise I would. Seokjin scares me though but for Namjoon, I’ll do it. 

I stood on the balcony outside the bedroom. You can see out to the backyard. I stood watching everyone interact. It was a great place to come and take pictures of everyone. I recently got into photography and I wanted some candid photos of the guys. 

The boys were playing ping pong, the teams were Namjoon, Youngjae, Jungkook and the other team was Hoseok, Minjae, and Jackson. Everyone else hung out in the pool or were scattered around. The only person missing was Seokjin and I didn’t really know where he was. Seokjin and I, we’re not that close, because of the I had feelings for Namjoon. That’s stupid it’s so stupid and it’s unfair and I’m so angry about it because why are my feelings being used as someone else’s excuse for being a coward. 

I sighed, breaking away from my thoughts, I focused on taking pictures again. I snapped some photos, while going through them I suddenly felt someone standing behind me.

“They all suck at this game,” Seokjin said, he walked up and stood next to me looking over the balcony. 

Seokjin, just the man I was thinking about. 

“Yeah, I knew they wouldn’t be able to play. I like watching them make a fool of themselves.” 

“What are you doing up here by yourself?”

I showed him my camera, “Taking photos. Stand here,” I moved him, so he stood in better lighting and took a quick photo of him. “I recently started taking photos. It’s a great pass time and a good way to express built up emotions,” I explained to him and he smiled, looking through the photos I had taken earlier. 

“They’re amazing, Tae. You’re a real artist you know, not just with these but with your designs. I love them.” 

“Thank you, I've always wanted to do something where I could freely express myself. Clothes played a big part in my life; I can wear whatever I want and, in a way, be whoever I want. I can also show how I’m feeling by just a simple outfit.” 

“Well, all my outfits show that I’m dead on the inside,” Seokjin, pointing at his jeans and black T-shirt. “I don’t think too much about what I wear, I just wear anything I can find.”

“Ah, Hobi complains about that a lot,” I chuckled. 

“I’m sure he does,” he shook his head laughing as well. 

“SERIOUSLY NAMJOON!” we heard Yoongi shout and both turned our necks. Namjoon somehow snapped his racket in half. Oh, this boy was born to destroy. 

I laughed to myself watching the scene unfold downstairs, “Namjoon is awe-full.” 

“Awful?” Seokjin asked and I smiled. “Not awful as in horrible, awe-full as in filled with awe. He’s awesome, but more than that,” I explained and Seokjin seemed confused still.

“You know after hiking up a really big hill and you finally get to the top just in time to see the sunset?” Seokjin let me ramble on, “That feeling, that overwhelming, warm feeling, that’s Namjoon.” 

“You love him,” Seokjin mumbled and I nodded, “I love him. I love him enough to let him love you,” I whispered, “-plus, Minaje is a great guy. I really do like him, but it’s like right guy wrong time, you know?” I shrugged and took another photo. 

“Taehyung, I don’t want you to hate me for liking Namjoon.” 

“I don’t want you to hate me for liking Namjoon,” I said. When Seokjin doesn’t say anything, I continue. “I would never hate you for that and I would never hate him. You can’t help who you like, trust me, I know.” 

“Namjoon isn’t some prize we fight over. Namjoon is Namjoon and we both happened to love him in the way just different, but I don’t want him, Seokjin. I want him to be with you.” 

“But-.” 

“No, you don’t need to apologize to me, I should apologize to you. I’m sorry I slept with Namjoon, especially knowing you guys had some weird thing.” 

“You were drunk plus Joon and I weren’t together.” 

“Doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t have happened, but it did and I’m sorry. If I was in your position, I would have been hurt.” 

Seokjin smiles shyly at me, “Namjoon loves you too. I’m sorry it’s not in the way you want it, but that man will go to the ends of the earth for you. Trust me, I know that,” he said to me and I laughed. “He’s my best friend. I would do the same. You love him too; I can tell and maybe you should tell him. I’m sure he would say it back,” I added. 

“We’re not even officially together yet. We’ve just been figuring things out. But now, after our fight, I don’t know what he wants.” 

“We all heard your fight, you’re such an idiot. What else is there to figure out? You guys like each other and the only thing holding you back are yourselves.” Seokjin shrugged as we continued watching them from the balcony. “Go for it, Namjoon is a great guy. You won’t regret it,” I said putting an arm around him, he did the same. 

“Are you 100% sure? I should also apologize for the way I acted. Namjoon didn’t do anything wrong. I act the same way with Hoseok. I’m such a hypocrite and- Taehyung, I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing, really, you don’t have to. All I want for him to be happy. He’s gone through a lot and deserves to be happy and loved in the right way. There’s no one better than you to do that, Jin,” I said, squeezing him into a side hug. 

“Thank you,” Seokjin mumbled.

“But if you hurt him, it’s endgame for you.” 

We both laughed, “I don’t ever plan on hurting a single hair on that boy.” 

“Good.” 

“HEY! COME DOWN HERE AND PLAY WITH ME. I NEED SOME REAL COMPETITION!” Jackson shouted at us, “COMING!” I shouted back. 

“Let’s go, I’ve got some ass to kick and you’ve got a man to claim,” I said dragging Seokjin downstairs with me. 

_______

Hoseok’s POV:  
The past few days have been hectic, and this hasn’t felt like a vacation at all. I would say that not having the main drama be between Yoongi and I is nice but even with everyone else having issues. Yoongi and I are still silently dealing with things. We leave the day after tomorrow and I’m excited. We wanted to get back to school a few days before classes start to give us some time to get ready. Being here any longer as well would just lead to more problems. We need to get out. 

I spent the day drinking, to avoid the fact that Yoongi has basically ditched me for his friends. He says it’s not like that, that I’m the one acting like an asshole and won’t hang out with everyone but why would I want to be around JB when he clearly is trying to get under my skin. He’s all over Yoongi. He sat on his lap earlier and I was about to flip the table. He’s doing it on purpose, JB is an asshole and Yoongi is blind. We were outside hanging out, after the fight between Namjoon and Seokjin two days ago we all started talking, trying to be positive. This is as positive I can be, watching from the sidelines of JB trying to get with my boyfriend. I blew out hot air, “I feel ya,” Jungkook mumbles. He stood next to me holding out a new bottle of beer. “I’ve had 6, I shouldn’t have more.” 

“Have more, drink with me,” Jungkook pushes it into me, “We can loath together. Look at Jimin over there. Holding his hand, he fights dirty.” 

“We were supposed to fight dirty in pranks, not a game of who takes our boyfriends first.” 

“I got a good prank idea. It’ll require grade A acting, can you do it?” Jungkook asks me.

“Maybe, depends on what it is.” 

“Kiss me, but don’t actually please don’t. Just act like you are,” Jungkook says. I snicker, “You’re not serious. They’re not going to fall for that.”

“Why not? They wouldn’t believe were secretly in love with each other?” 

“No, not one bit. We’re not each other’s type.”

“What’s your type?” he asked me, and I chuckled. “Yoongi,” I sighed. 

“That’s so gay.” 

“You’re so gay.”

“I am my friend, I am. Now, pretend to kiss me. Pretend I’m Yoongi.” 

“How do we get them to pay attention? They’re both distracted.” 

“Taehyung is in on the plan. He’ll get their attention.” 

“Okay but if Yoongi kills us, you’re stuck with me in hell and that won’t be any fun.” 

“This is already hell. Just touch me already.” 

“Where?” 

“Gosh, pretend it’s one of your hookups. How did you do it?”

“I don’t know. I just did it.”

Jungkook groans, he stands in front of me, grabs my hand and places it on my waist. “This is disgusting, you smell horrible,” I groaned.

“Oh my god, do I really?” he smelt his armpit, “Oh my god, you’re right.” 

This is the dumbest idea ever. This is going to get us murdered. “Okay, I’ll put my hands here, like this” he places his hand on my shoulders, “I’ll lean into you, our faces close like this. Is this okay?” 

“No, not at all. If you get any closer and kiss me, I will cut your lips off.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t want to kiss you either. Maybe this is stupid.” 

“Very stupid,” I huffed, “Where the hell is Taehyung?” 

“Oh, right, give him the signal.” 

“What the fuck is the signal,”

“Uh, you have to grab my ass,”

“Bro, I was fine with my hand on your hip and your horrible breath in my face but my hand on your ass is crossing the line.”

“That’s crossing the line, that’s not crossing the line, this is crossing the line,” Jungkook presses his lips to mine and we both froze. 

“JUNGKOOK, IS THAT THE SIGNAL?” Taehyung screams, 

Jungkook pulls away, “You-you need some Chapstick.” 

“You’re going to need a doctor,” I said quickly but before Jungkook could question me he gets thrown to the ground and Yoongi is on top of him. I feel sick, I feel sick. “I’m going to throw up,” I said out loud. Jimin was pulling Yoongi off of Jungkook and saying words I tried to process. 

“You both are stupid!” I faintly heard, “Taehyung told me it’s just a prank. Yoongi stop! Hoseok get your boyfriend, you prick!” Jimin yells. 

Jungkook let’s Yoongi hit him and Jimin is freaking out and Yoongi is shouting swear words a million miles per second and the world is spinning too fast too fast and everyone is running over and Seokjin is grabbing me, shaking me and, “I’m going to throw up.” 

“Oh, fuck no, not on me!” Seokjin shrieks turning my body on me. I threw up on someone, I can see their shoes as I’m bent over. 

“Why is always me? Why me god? Why me?” Namjoon groans.

“But Joon, you don’t even believe in God. You can’t possibly ask him,” I heard Taehyung say. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you people?” Bambam asks. I don’t fucking know man. I don’t fucking know. 

I laid on the couch and groaned, Yoongi sat next to me. His knuckles wrapped. He looked annoyed. “You’re stupid,” he said, “Take these, dumbass.” He hands me Advil and some water. “What were you trying to do? Have me kill him?” 

I stared at him and I didn’t mean to, but everything came rushing back, the last hour replaying in my head. I laughed, I couldn’t stop laughing, “Oh, my honey boy, you’re so upset. Your face is bright red and you’re bleeding. Where the hell is Kook? Oh my god, he’s a horrible kisser. I mean I don’t even know what to call what he did, it was like kissing a dead body, it was horrible.” 

Yoongi starts hitting me, “You fucking jerk,” he yells. He stands up and I pull him back down so he’s laying on me.

“You’re annoying, Seokie,” he groaned.

“You were so upset.”

“I am upset,” 

“That was a good prank I guess?”

“A prank? More like a death sentence. I have to apologize to Jungkook for the rest of my life. I’ll start once him and Jimin are done crying upstairs.” 

“They’re crying? You made him cry?”

“He was tough at first but then burst into tears and I stopped because well, you like passed out on Seokjin, and Jimin was crying too, and it was kinda bloody, and everyone, I mean everyone, was dragging me off of him.” 

“Min Yoongi, you’re horrible.” 

“You’re horrible. This is your fault. What the hell were you two even thinking? This has gone too far Hoseok. Are you trying to get back at me for hanging around JB? We are just friends. How many times do I have to tell you this? How many more people do I have to beat up or you have to fake kiss to get it into that very, very thick skull of yours that I only want you?” 

“It wasn’t supposed to get that bad. I didn’t think. That’s all, I didn’t think about what would actually happen. I was already too drunk to process anything. I just went along with whatever Jungkook said. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.” 

Yoongi shakes his head, “I don’t know what to do with you anymore. Let’s get you washed up and in bed. You need sleep, your bags are crazy, and you smell so bad.” 

Yoongi drags me up off the couch. “You’re crazy, crazy,” he mumbled as he takes me upstairs. 

Seokjin’s POV: 

We leave tomorrow, just one more day of being here. I woke up early before everyone else because I wanted to clean. I have Namjoon in the bedroom with Jungkook and Jimin. I stayed downstairs on the couch, alone. I still needed to be away from Namjoon. 

Talking to Taehyung the other night did help. It helped a lot but the things Namjoon said really hurt my feelings. I’m sure he didn’t mean to. I am sort of difficult to be with. I do it on purpose. It’s how I protect myself and our fight made me realize that I let Namjoon in too much. Way too much. But I still want him and I want to continue breaking the wall around my heart down. I want him to know me, the real me. Not the very jealous of his best friend me. I think part of me just really wants to be the way Tae and Namjoon are with Namjoon. I’m sure we will get there, we can get there but also, will I ever be as important to Namjoon like Taehyung is? 

Stop it Seokjin, you know it’s different, it’s different. It’s like comparing me and Yoongi, obviously we’re both very important people to Hoseok and there’s never been an issue with Yoongi and I about getting his attention. Hoseok and I are still great best friends even with the boyfriend. I’m sure Namjoon and I could have a great relationship even with the best friend. And to be fair to be really fair. It’s not like I haven’t slept with Hoseok. I have a few times and yeah there weren’t any feelings involved but it’s still an intimate thing. So, I really should be mad. 

“Hey, the coffee pot is overflowing.” 

I blinked, coming back into reality. “Oh, fuck.” I said shutting the water off and trying to clean up the spilled water. Youngjae helped me clean up, “Sorry, the door was unlocked so I just came in. I left my phone here last night. After the fight I guess things got so hectic we just all scattered.” 

“I am so sorry my friends are all idiots, and this has probably been your worst spring break ever.” 

“Of course not, I think you all just are bad at communicating and instead of talking you just create problems that aren’t really there. But also, for some of you, you don’t listen when someone is telling you there isn’t a problem.” 

“Are you talking about Namjoon and I or Hoseok and Yoongi.”

“Yoongi and Hoseok, but I guess if what I said works for you then you would know that the best.” I nodded, “I should have listened to Namjoon. But last night was crazy and Yoongi shouldn’t have behaved that way. Jungkook has cuts all over and for what, just to get the attention they needed from their boyfriends?” 

“I don’t usually do this. I love JB, he is my best friend, but Hoseok is right about him. He does like Yoongi and wants to be with him, and I hate it because Yoongi loves Hoseok so so much. Hoseok just doesn’t show that he loves him back.” 

I laughed, “Are you kidding me? Hoseok talks about how much he loves Yoongi all the time. He thinks Yoongi doesn’t love him.”

“See, miscommunication. This is going to end badly. I’ve tried to talk to JB about it that he needs to back off, but he’s so determined, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Yoongi loves you guys, he’s so happy he made friends. It’ll be really hard to get him to see JB in a bad light. He won’t listen to us. This has to come from you.” 

“I can’t, JB is my best friend. I can’t just out him like that.” 

“So, what? We just let them figure it out? The three of them will murder each other.” 

“I just think it’s a battle that no one else can fight beside them.” 

“Yeah, I hope they figure things out. Yoongi and Hoseok used to such a great couple. I want them to be happy again.”

“I’d love to see that too. I wish JB wouldn’t be so into this. He’s such an idiot,” Youngjae sighs. He has sad eyes as he talks about JB liking Yoongi. It clicks, in those few seconds it clicks, and I pull him into a hug. “You like him don’t you, and you have to watch him like someone else?” Youngjae hugs me back. “I’m used to it no worries. JB is kinda clueless and stupid very stupid. I don’t think he deserves to be with me anyway. I can do better than that asshole, but I do love him. He’ll forever be my best friend.” 

“Maybe Bambam?” I joked and he rolls his eyes. “You didn’t hear it from me but Bambam and Jackson have been hooking up recently. They might even be a thing.” 

“Oh wow. Now that’s interesting. They don’t even acknowledge each other.” 

“You and Namjoon should have taken some notes from them then because it’s so obvious you guys are hooking up.” 

“We were trying to have a secret relationship that's not really a relationship.” 

“Didn’t do a very good job, you tried kissing him the other night.” 

“Yeah. I barely remember much from before the fight. I think drinking for consecutive days like we have been isn’t as great as I thought it would be. I’m just living my days drunk at this point and nothing is in order.”

“I haven’t drank. I took like two shots the first night here and ever since I’ve been sober. We need at least one sober person here.” 

“Youngjae? Why are you here?” Yoongi says rubbing his eyes as he walks into the kitchen. “I came to look for my phone, but I got distracted talking to Seokjin.” 

“Is Hobi okay? He was so drunk last night.”

“Yeah, he’s still asleep. It took a while last night getting him showered. He could barely stand, and he threw up two more times.” 

I laughed, “He’s not allowed to drink today. He needs to be alert tomorrow because he’s driving back. I’ll be sleeping the whole way home.”

“I think we’re going to head out today instead of tomorrow. Bambam has to leave today anyways and Jackson said he will drive him home. I have a lot of homework to do that I didn’t bring with me so I’m going to leave with JB,” Youngjae explains, “Jinyoung and Mark might stay but I doubt it.” 

“Yugyeom is leaving today as well. It’ll just be us seven today but I don’t want to leave yet. I have to clean both houses and probably talk to Namjoon before we head home.” 

“I think Jimin and Jungkook are leaving, I heard them talking about leaving.” Yoongi says, “Jungkook probably hates me,”

“Probably,” Youngjae says. I pour the three of us coffee. “But he also set himself up for that.” 

Just then Jungkook and Jimin both come downstairs, “Hey, coffee?” I asked, “I’m also going to make breakfast for everyone before people leave.”

“I can’t eat anything, my lip is busted thanks to someone, everything hurts,” Jungkook groans, Jimin rubs his back. 

“Kookie, I am so sorry. I just got really upset. What did you think was going to happen when I saw you kissing Hoseok?” 

“I didn’t think you’d beat the crap out of me like that and I only kissed Hoseok to get Jimin mad which I shouldn’t have done but we worked it out.” 

“You both are idiots. You all are idiots,” Jimin says as he begins to help me make breakfast. “I know, I know,” Jungkook grumbles. 

“Jungkook, can you and Youngjae set the table. Let’s have a formal breakfast before everyone leaves,” I say. “You got it sir,” he says grabbing silverware with Youngjae. 

Yoongi helps Jimin and I as well. We make pancakes and waffles, eggs, bacon, toast, and Jungkook begged that we had mimosas so of course I had to say yes. I guess a few mimosas wouldn’t hurt anybody. 

While cooking everyone started waking up and coming over or downstairs. Hoseok looked refreshed and hung around Yoongi. Namjoon moped with Jackson who was with Bambam, Mark, and Jinyoung. Youngjae and JB talked with Minjae and Taehyung. Jimin and Jungkook stayed in the kitchen with me. Yugyeom joined in on whatever conversation Yoongi and Hoseok were having. From the looks of it everyone was getting along or at least forcing themselves to. 

“I just wanted to say that even though this trip was sort of messy, I did have a good time with all of you. Thank you for letting me stay here. Thank you for being so welcoming,” Yugyeom says. Jimin smiles at him and gives him a side hug, “I’m glad you came Yuggie. I’m glad you got to meet Jungkook. I’m glad you both worked through your issues as well because I was about to cut both of your dicks off and feed them to both of you.” He smiles again, his cute, innocent smile like what he just said wasn’t horrifying. 

Everyone laughs, this sparks conversation and before we knew it, people were talking and actually having a good time. We had one nice meal together without fighting. 

“Who the hell put salt in my coffee?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok smiles, “Gotcha, prank war champion.” 

“That’s so fucking lame, worse than Jimin’s whip cream,” Yoongi says. 

“The best prank goes to Jungkook and Hoseok. That kiss was to die for. You both look horrified,” Jackson says, we all laugh again. 

“It was horrible, Jimin I don’t know how you do it and what you see but I have to buy new lips or something.” 

Jimin rolls his eyes, “Leave my Kookie alone,” he leaves kisses all over Jungkook’s cheek. 

“Ew,” Hoseok pretends to gag. The rest of the day goes like this. Everyone helps clean up, everyone laughs without each, there were a few rounds of Mario Kart played in the basement. There were screams from the guys as they threw each other in the pool. There was the whining voice of Taehyung when he lost in tennis again. There was Namjoon, sadly pouting all day long and there was me, longing to grab him and kiss his frown away. 

The day slowly came to an end, the 7 boys next door all left and went home leaving the 8 of us here alone to enjoy a great steak dinner made by the amazing Chef Min. 

“How do you play uno again?” Taehyung grumbles. Jimin groans, “Taehyung, we explain this every time!” 

“Okay, I have so many things to remember in my life. I can’t remember everything.” 

“Seriously, just scream uno when u have one card, for fuck sakes,” Yoongi argues.

“I don’t get why you have to be so aggressive!” Taehyung shouts. 

“I’m not aggressive,” Yoongi defends himself.

“Yeah fucking right. Look at my face Yoongi,” Jungkook comments.

We continued playing Uno for a little while longer. We plan on ending our night this way and then tomorrow will be up bright and early so we all could drive back to school. Namjoon and I still have not talked. I planned on apologizing all day, but I am still hesitant. I do not know what I want or more like I do but I am scared. After my 4th round of playing I told everyone that I needed some air and came outside by the pool. 

I wanted to be alone to think things through plus being in the same room with Namjoon was sort of suffocating me. I sat thinking about my conversation with Taehyung the other day. Taehyung is a sweetheart and he clearly cares about Namjoon so much to be able to tell me himself that he thinks we should be together. He is so selfless. He puts other people's happiness before his own and that is something, I truly do admire him for. Even though I am or was upset with Namjoon, I know we are probably still in some stupid secret relationship but I’m tired of sneaking around with him. I want to be with him and not worry about anything. Yes, I have no clue what to do but I’m willing to give it a shot as long as it’s with Namjoon. 

“Hey,” I heard a deep familiar, comforting voice. Namjoon sat next to me slid his feet into the water as well. “Why are you out here alone?” 

“Just thinking about stuff,” I shrugged my shoulders. 

“Stuff like?” 

“You,” I mumbled. 

“Ah, is it bad? Probably is, you hate me.”

I shook my head, “No, of course not, I don’t hate you.”

“Does it have something to do with your talk with Taehyung?” 

“How do you know about that?”

“Why do you think I came out here? Tae forced me to come ask you about it, but we don’t have to talk. We can just sit here together,” I nodded, we sat silently for a little while. “I just, I really like you and I’ve liked you probably since I met you,” I said randomly. Namjoon turns to look at me. 

“Yeah, I think so too. I’ve liked you for a while.”

“I don’t know how to do this Joon. I want to be with you and figure it out with you but it’s so scary. I don’t like opening up to people and I don’t want to get hurt, but I love being with you. I love you,” I rambled on and then stopped. “I-,” Namjoon looked at me with soft eyes and lips curved into small smile. “I’m not good at this too but the one thing I know is, it doesn’t matter how bad at love I am, I can’t help but love you,” he said and my heart fluttered. Namjoon loves me. Holy shit, Namjoon loves me. 

“I am so sorry about Taehyung. I know we keep having issues about the same thing, but I am sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have gotten as upset as I did that night too. Can we just start over?” he scoots closer to me, our thighs now crushed against each other. 

“Yes, I’d like that,” I smiled grabbing his hand. He grins, interlocking our fingers together. “So, will you - uh be my boyfriend?” I stuttered out. I rested my head on his shoulder. Namjoon chuckles softly, “Of course.” He smiles at me, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

“KISS HIM LIKE YOU MEAN IT COWARD!” Jungkook yells from the balcony. Obviously, our friends are watching us. Namjoon and I looked at each other with not surprised expressions, “Can I kiss you, in front of everyone?” Namjoon asked and I laughed, “I guess you can.” Namjoon rolls his eyes before pressing his lips against mine and pulls me closer to him. We ignored our friends screaming in the background and get lost in each other. This time felt different, this time we both expressed the amount of love we have for each other in a kiss. 

“Okay, get a room!” Hoseok yelled at us from the doorway. 

I laugh in our kiss. Namjoon pulls away and kissed my cheek before saying, “I love you.” I smiled, “I love you too,” I responded before pulling us both up so we could head back inside a probably get bombarded by our friends. 

“Fucking finally!” Hoseok grins at me, “I knew you guys were together for so long. I just need it become official,” he said and he hugged me. “What?” I questioned him. “Uh- well one day, the day you should you were going out with the other student teachers and teachers, I kinda followed you. Well, Jungkook, Yoongi and I followed you. You went on a date with Namjoon. Jungkook saw you guys kiss. You know, at that restaurant?”

Namjoon and I shared familiar looks, “You followed me?” I asked him. He laughs, “Yeah, we also sort of used your card and got lobster.” 

“This was all his idea,” Yoongi quickly adds. 

“YOU DID THIS WITHOUT ME?” Jimin sounds offended. “You didn’t tell me anything!” Taehyung screams. 

“Well we didn’t want to give it fully away.” 

I sighed, I should have known something like this would have happened with these dumbasses are my friends, “I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore,” I said. 

“Yeah, he’s my boyfriend now,” Namjoon says, everyone grins at his comment. 

I felt myself burning up, I’m his boyfriend. 

He’s my boyfriend. 

_______________

*May* 

Namjoon’s POV: 

“Okay, so as you all know, this is my last year here,” I said, starting off my last ever RA meeting, “I just wanted to say that even though there were many rough patches this year, I loved being your RA. I met some amazing people that I’ll forever be grateful for.” 

“Most of you are juniors so you all have another year left, I hope the best for you all. Thank you for a great year, someone let me know who your next RA will be and if they’re half as good as I am,” I grinned, causing only a few people to laugh. “Get over yourself RA RM,” my most irritating resident said. 

Jin grins as me, as he crosses his arms across his chest, “What, you think I am a good RA?” I asked him. He shrugged, “I’ve met better.” 

I rolled my eyes, “Says the most annoying, pain in my ass resident ever.” 

He laughs his bold beautiful, irritating hyena laugh. “You love me,” he said truthfully, I do. 

“Sadly,” I flashed him a smile. 

“Hey, can we get on with this meeting? My date is waiting for me,” Taehyung said. 

“Taehyung, you don’t even live on this floor,” I said, “You don’t need to be here.”

“Did you really think I’d miss my Joonie’s last ever RA meeting, you’ve got to be out of your mind.” He pulls out a camera and takes a picture. 

“Taehyung, what the hell?” 

“It’s for my scrapbook,” he smiles looking at the picture. Why am I friends with this guy? 

“Back to what I was saying, I hope you all had a great year. Finals are about to start so good luck. Please sign this before you leave and when you’re moving out don’t forget to check out with me or any other RA that is on duty at the time.” 

I passed the clipboard around, as people were done signing, they got up and left. I sat at the table patiently waiting for my clipboard back. 

Finals, my last set of finals for my college career, or at least this college career. I still have doubts about leaving for early but it’s kind of too late to change my mind. But, with graduating early it makes things just a little bit for being with my boyfriend who’s also graduating. We haven’t really discussed too much of things. We want to spend the summer together, figuring things out slowly. As for now, we plan on staying in our hometowns. I’ll be going to law school, he’ll be teaching in a nearby school district. We will try to see each other as much as possible. Am I worried about the distance? Yes. I just finally got him, I can’t lose him 

“RM!” Jin says, “Here you go, you were spaced out again.” 

“Oh, did everyone sign?” I grabbed the clipboard and checked it over. 

“Are you off duty?” 

“Ah, yeah for now. But I’m on again in a few hours, I’m probably going to go study and take a nap.” 

Jin smiles, he walks up to and throws one leg on either side of me. He settles on my lap, “Or you can makeout with your boyfriend.” 

I laughed, “Or we could study together.”

Jin scrunches his nose, “Nah, I like my idea better.” Jin and I kissed softly for a little bit. 

“Okay, that’s enough. We should study,”

Jin groans, “Why am I dating you? You’re no fun.” He pouts as I drag him towards our rooms. 

———  
*Graduation* 

I did it, I survived this year. 

Jin and I had separate graduations. We were the only one graduating in our friend group so of course they all came to support us. Within hours of each other, we both were college graduates ready to start our life together and let me tell you. I’m terrified but with Jin by my side, I can do anything. 

“Congratulations, my baby boy!” My mom squeezes my cheeks. We all came out for later lunch together. My parents wanted to treat my friends and me. I told her she shouldn’t, we can’t afford to feed these pigs. She didn’t listen, so here we are in the parking lot of a very expensive restaurant. My dad is talking my friends ears off, Yoongi the only one contributing to conversing with him because he’s talking about music and that’s Yoongi’s favorite thing to do. 

“Mom, stop. I’m 21, you can’t go around pinching my cheeks anymore.” 

“You’re my son, my baby boy, I will always pinch your cheeks,” She huffs grabbing them again. “This is ridiculous,” I whined. 

“Namjoon’s mom,” Jin said as he approaches us, oh no. 

“You can call me Mrs. Kim, love,” she smiles.

“Mrs. Kim is my mother’s name, I like Namjoon’s mom.”

I gave my mom a look. I told her about Jin’s relationships with his parents. The same parents who failed to be here today. The same parents Jin spent all last night crying for because they’re never here for him. She seemed to pick up on it. “How about you call me mom as well?” she asks and Jin’s eyes lit up. “What? You’re not my mom, you’re Namjoon’s mom.”

“Yes, but a mom is a mom regardless and someday maybe I will actually be your mom, or well mother in law but that sounds horrible. Just call me mom.” 

Jin grins, “Okay, well I came over just to say that I like pinching Joon’s cheeks as well.” My mom laughs, Jin laughs, and I want to die or at least cut my cheeks off. 

“He’s so adorable,” Jin coos.

“He’s the sweetest baby boy,” my mom coos. 

“Please, stop it, please. I’m begging you. I will get on my knees and-”

“Oh no, save that for the bedroom with Jin,” my mom said as she fixed her dress.

“Oh my god, MOM!” I shout, Jin laughed. 

“I love your mom’s sense of humor.” 

“Shut the hell up. Can we all just go get lunch over with?” I groaned. 

“Yes, let’s go!” My dad said leading the pack on wild animals in. Jin grabs my hand on the way in, “Hey, I love you,” he kissed my cheek. 

“I love you,” I said pulling him closer to me. 

We both have a lot to learn when it comes to love. 

Love isn’t easy but I’ll try my hardest for Jin, no matter how bad at love I am.


	22. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you really think we were done?

Seokjin’s pov:

Namjoon’s bedroom at home is exactly how I pictured it. He had bookshelves aligned on the walls filled with his whole Harry Potter collection. He had a small box labeled rock collection. He had figurines of his favorite anime characters. He had posters of his favorite artists, movies, and actors. 

“I never really changed anything, I just let it be,” he said as he walked into the room. He offered to bring my bags up and who was I to object. It also gave me time to snoop around. His bed looked normal but once you pulled the comforter back the sheets were navy blue with little race cars. 

Tiny Namjoon pops up into my head, running around outside excitedly looking at all the bugs, animals, and all the leaves he could find. Rushing home to read the newest book his parents bought for him. Staying up all night to watch anime when he knows damn well, he should be asleep, or he’ll feel extra grump and his cheeks will be extra puffy. 

“I like it, it shows your multiple sides.” 

My eyes ran over his dressers, stopping at a frame filled with pictures. There’s a picture from Halloween with all our costumes, one from my birthday, one from spring break, and a few with Taehyung. The frame next to it makes me smile, makes my heart burst. It’s a selfie of us from earlier in the year before we were together. I remember taking it. We both were drunk and decided that we needed a picture together. Somehow it came out pretty good. “That’s the night I realized how much I liked you,” Namjoon says from behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my temple. 

“I love you,” I said smiling, “I love you so much. I’m so excited to be here.” I turn around in his arms. “I’m glad you’re here too. My mom will be so happy to see you. My parents will be home in 3 hours. I’m sure we will go out to eat. My mom hasn’t had time to cook anything.” 

“Oh, I can cook! It’ll be fun. We can go buy groceries now. What does she like?” I can say thank you so many times, but I’d love to show it. Namjoon’s family in a way took me in as their own. I’ve talked to them a lot more than I talked to my parents lately and it’s my first time visiting. Namjoon has been driving up to visit me but I wanted to take a week off from the daycare I work at and come stay here. So, here I am. 

“Yeah, my mom would like that. I won’t be much help, but I’ll sit in the kitchen with you. I can peel garlic; my mom lets me do that sometimes.” 

I chuckled, “You’re adorable Joon bug.” I placed a kiss on his nose. 

“We can go soon. I just wanna cuddle you. I’ve missed you,” he says, pulling me into him. “We saw each other like two weeks ago, love.”

“Yes, but I’m still used to seeing you every day.”

“Well, I actually wanted to tell you about something. I got offered a great job in Concord and I know you’ll be taking online classes from them for law school and I don’t know how last minute this is for you but like wouldn’t it be great if you could maybe move there together? It’s not that far away from Manchester. It’s only 40 minutes away. It’ll be like an hour and a half from your house to there. It’s a big step, I know, but it’ll be nice to have you close. Hoseok wants to probably move with me so it’s not too bad. I don’t mind living with him still, but, it’s an option.” 

“Maybe, I have to think more about it. It would be nice to be closer and even if we don’t live together, we can still be near each other. Concord is closer to everyone else actually. I hate being the one that lives the furthest away. You all live like 30-40 minutes away from each other and the furthest I am is almost three hours.” 

“Yeah, everyone still is back in school though, which will be closer to you than me once they start again.”

“They all graduate after this year though and I heard Jungkook is deciding on law as well. Also, Jimin and him are doing really well for right now so who knows maybe they'll be moving closer to Concord as well. Especially if we are there.”

“Taehyung is looking at a school in New York for his masters I heard. It’s only a two-year program, but Minjae wouldn’t be going with him though.” 

“We’re really getting split up, isn’t it crazy?”

“I think we will find out way back to each other. No one really wants to leave the state and we all have the same goal of being near each other. Hoseok will never really leave my side and if he is here then we also have Yoongi.”

“Okay, let’s not think about all of this right now, we only have so much time together. Let’s be carefree for once. Please?” 

I sighed, “Sure we can be, but also don’t take me as the one that can’t be carefree. That’s more of you. You always have a stick up your ass. Not my words, it’s the words of others.” 

Namjoon rolls his eyes, “I can have fun. I have fun all the time.” 

“You have a rock collection.”

“Don’t judge me, my rock collection is pretty cool.” 

“Sure, whatever you say.”

Namjoon huffs, “That’s it,” he lifts me up and throws me down into his bed before jumping on as well. He begins to tickle my sides and I couldn’t help but let out the loudest shrieks. “No! Stop it, please. I won’t make fun of your rocks, I promise!” 

I try to push him out of the way, but it is no use. He’s stronger than me ever since he started going to the gym. We played wrestle for a few minutes before he drops down next to me and we just lay there laughing. “I hate you, don’t tickle me again.” 

“You’re a bully. I love my rock collection.” 

“I love you for loving your rock collection. Can I at least make a small comment about the race car bed sheets? Those are super cu- NO!” Namjoon is back on top of tickling me. This time he stops sooner and rests his forehead against mine. “Why are you so mean?” 

“It’s how I show I love you,” I kissed both his cheeks and pecked his lips. He pouts, he’s the cutest thing, I swear. I chuckled wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. I kissed all over his face leaving wet kisses. 

“Can’t you show me you love me in a nicer way?” 

I pretended to think about it and flatly said no with the biggest grin on my face. He rolls his eyes and kisses me again. “Really, there’s no other way to show you love me?” Namjoon smirks. 

I smiled getting what he was hinting at but still pretended to play dumb, “Nope.” 

“Can I show you how I love you?” he said, his eyes already on my lips. His hands gripped my waist. “Hmmm, maybe.”

He breathes out a laugh, “Maybe?” his voice is quiet now. “Maybe,” I said, breathing out, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck. He leans down and presses his lips to mine. His kisses are soft and slow as his wandering hands trails my body. I missed him a lot, it’s so lonely at home. He’s my new home. He’s my safe place.

We shifted positions so things were more comfortable. I laid my head on his pillow and he still hovered over me. He dips back down to kiss me before sitting back up straddling me. He discards his shirt and I quickly do the same with mine pulling him back down. Namjoon and I have done a lot. We’ve made it to hand jobs and blowjobs, a lot of phone sex, he even fingered me once, but we haven’t actually had sex yet. We didn’t want to rush things. We wanted it to come natural and naturally we haven’t gotten there yet. 

We’ve discussed things though. We’ve discussed what we’re comfortable with and who wants to do what and what makes us feel good and things we want to try, but it’s all open discussions nothing has actually happened. He told me when I’m ready but it’s also when he is. He said he wanted to try bottoming. He said he’s thought about it and he’s into it and he likes me taking care of him. Like the time I talked to him through his first blowjob. He’s always been the dominant type and the people he’s slept with he’s been using dominance and control to make himself feel ‘manly’. He has a lot to learn about himself and sex with a man and just the whole definition of what it means to be manly. 

I’ve told him many times; society has brainwashed us all and we just have to learn how to not care about what others think and do what makes us happy. So, when Namjoon cried to me about not knowing what to do and how to make me feel good in the right way, I was glad because he was able to show a side of him that I know is hard for him to show. Being with Namjoon really has been a ride, he’s so different than what he shows. We’re more than just two awkward humans together. We’re Seokjin and Namjoon. I know he loves me, but I want to help him love himself. 

Namjoon kisses down my neck and my chest, stopping at the waistline of my pants. He looked up at me and I nod letting him know he can continue. He undid my pants, pulling them off of me. 

“Holy shit,” Namjoon breathes out. The first time Namjoon found out about my love for lace underwear was embarrassing. I didn’t wear them often, but enough and I didn’t think much of it. They’re cute and it makes me feel good about myself. The only other person who knew was Hoseok and he could care less. He just wondered if they were itchy. Namjoon’s reaction was different. He immediately got turned on and kept praising me in them and I was relieved. 

“You drive me crazy, Jinnie,” he said as he kisses the insides on my thighs, “So crazy,” he twists his fingers around my underwear and slowly pulls them off. 

Once he discards them, he comes back up and kisses my lips again. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, just tell me okay?” he says, and I nodded, he makes his way back down on me. Stopping shortly to press a kiss on my stomach. 

Namjoon gently touches me, as much as he likes to be dominant, he’s sweet and loving and tender. I let out a small gasp when he finally wraps his mouth around me. Namjoon is a lot better than he was the first time, he doesn’t need to be told what to do. I lay there letting pleasure flow through my body. Jerking my hips up when it becomes too much, when I’m close, really close. 

I pull gently at his hair which causes him to moan, His deep moans always get to me. He makes me weak just by his voice. “I’m close, baby, stop-stop, I don’t wanna— ah not yet.” Namjoon came back up, “You don’t wanna?” 

“No, I was actually thinking maybe we could, only if you were ready, maybe we could have s-sex for the first time?” 

Namjoon smiles at me, his beautiful toothy smile. “Of course, are you sure?”

I nodded, “Yes but I’d like to be in you,” I admitted. I felt a blush creeping onto my cheeks. “Only if you wanted to.”

Namjoon stares at me for a second and then grins, “Yes, I want to.” 

“Okay, okay,” I smile pulling his face to mine, our lips locked together. 

I helped Namjoon get rid of the rest of his clothes and lay him down, I hovered over his body. “100%?”

“1000%,” he answered. 

———

“In me, I want you to come inside of me,” Namjoon moans. We both were panting hard, sweat dripping down our bodies, Namjoon weak under me. 

I continued thrusting into him. He laid with his head knocked bad, eyes shut closed, and his teeth biting his lips shut. 

We had to be quiet, it was only 7pm and his parents were downstairs. Namjoon says I’m not quiet but he’s definitely not quiet.

It’s my third day here and the first time we had sex really broke the barrier because now I can honestly say that by day 3 were both basically fucked out with no signs of even wanting to stop. 

This is the most sex I’ve had in a long time, especially with one person. Namjoon loves sex, his sex drive is high, and I think I released a beast that I don’t think I’d ever be able to actually tame. 

“F-fuck, Seokjinn,” he moans loudly, “Baby, I’m coming-,” he said as he releases all over his stomachs. Come drops down his sides onto his sheets and I’ve finally hit my high, tensing up before letting go. I ride my orgasm through and pull out when I’m done. Namjoon looks at me and covers his mouth. 

“I-I think my mom might have heard!” he looks like a little kid who’s about to get his ass beat and honestly, we both might. I started laughing and couldn’t stop. Namjoon kept telling me to shut up and cleaned up both up but I couldn’t. “Your face was priceless. How is that the first thing you say after sex? You’re such a mama's boy!” 

He pouts and he throws my clothes at me and we both get dressed. He’s not as amused as I am. I love him this man so damn much. 

“Let’s go downstairs before my mom decides to come here and it smells like sweat and sex.” 

I continued giggling as he opened his bedroom door. Low and behold his mom is here and was ready to knock on our door. 

“I thought you might want a snack,” she grins at us. I haven't even finished putting on my clothes yet. I stood by the bed with no shirt on. Namjoon is scared and I can feel my face turning bright red. “Mom!” Namjoon whines, “you’re so embarrassing!”

“Honey, the walls are thin, and you never really were able to use an inside voice,” she makes eye contact with me and winks. “Do you work out Jinnie?” she asked. 

“MOM!” Namjoon and his moms continue to bicker. Have I mentioned how much I love this family? How much I love RA RM?


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: Falling Like the Stars by James Arthur

Namjoon’s POV:

For you I’d let my guard down.

“Are you crying?” Seokjin laughs at me as the credits roll at the end of the movie. “You didn’t warn me that the brother will die,” I said hiding my face behind a pillow. “I didn’t want to spoil anything,” he continues to chuckle, “Oh, my big baby.” He pulls the pillow away from my face. “Come here, Joon bug, next time I’ll warn if something sad will happen,” he said hugging me. I wrap my arms around him too. 

“Big Hero 6 deserves an Oscar.”

He scoffs, “You’re getting carried away. It’s not that good.” 

“You’re heartless,” my voice squeaks as I think about the older brother dying again. 

For you I’d risk it all. 

“Namjoon, you almost got hit by a car!”

Seokjin yells at me, I handed an ice cream cone. “You really wanted ice cream, I got it for you. Why can’t you appreciate anything I do for you?” 

“I appreciate everything you do for me but running into traffic to chase down the ice cream truck is not necessary.” 

“Give me my ice cream cone back, your ungrateful ass,” I grabbed the cone away. Seokjin laughs at me. 

“You’re cute when you’re stupid.”

For you I’d turn night into day. 

“There are no monsters in the closet, baby.”

“I know that. I’m not a child. But can we still please sleep with the lights on?” Seokjin begs.

“This is why we don’t watch scary movies,” I grumbled as I turned the lamp on next to me. 

“Come on, I’ll protect you,” I said. Seokjin crawled into bed and rested his head on my chest. 

“My Joonie,” he mumbles, kissing my tummy. 

My Seokjinie. 

For you I’d wreak havoc on the world if that’s what it’d take to make you happy. For you, I’d do anything and everything. 

For you I’d love. 

“We’re really doing this?” Seokjin’s asks me for the 100th time. “Of course, we are. It’s our wedding day. At this point we have no choice.” 

“We do have a choice. If you don’t want to marry me then you can walk out right now,” Seokjin looks at me with wild eyes, he’s scared. 

“Seokjin, like I said all those years ago, I’ll be with you as long as you want me to. So, do you not want to marry me?”

Seokjin gulps, “Forever is a long time, Namjoon.”

“I’m aware, I thought about that before I asked you. I really had to debate on whether or not I’d want to wake up every day for the rest of my life next to someone like you,” I teased him.

“And?” he asked me, “-and, there’s no one else I’d rather spend forever with, now come on, we’ve got some marrying to do.” I grabbed Seokjin’s arm pulling him out of the bathroom he was hiding in. 

“Wait,” Seokjin stops me again. “I love you,” he whispers. 

“I love you,” I kissed his forehead, “Now come on, everyone is waiting!” 

———

I didn’t think that five years later, the annoying resident that moved in across from me would be the same person I’d be calling my husband. 

I didn’t think that five years later, I’d be moving into a shared apartment with the said annoying resident that is my said husband. 

I didn’t think that five years later said annoying resident, now husband, and I would be inviting over all our friends from college for an apartment warming party. 

I didn’t think that five years later I’d be completely, madly, deeply, in love with said ugly couch boy, annoying resident, now husband. 

“Namjoon, wash the dishes! I said five million times already, wash the dishes!” Jin screams at me, again. “I’m going to! You also wanted me to make the bed and take the trash out. I can’t possibly do everything at once!”

“They’re going to be here in any minute and the sink is still piled up with dirty dishes, your dirty dishes.” 

“Baby, deep breaths, just like you tell your students. It’ll be okay, deep breaths.” 

“I don’t have time for deep breathing, everyone is going to be here soon. Including Yoongi, we haven’t seen Yoongi since college. This is a big deal!”

“Yoongi is busy. He sent us a lovely wedding present and he sends us random postcards from where he’s currently staying.” 

“This is the first time in five years that we all will be under the same roof. All. Of. Us.”  
Jin begins to panic again.

“I know you’re worried about Hoseok and Yoongi seeing each other again but they’re both mature adults and it’s been years since the broke up. They’ll be fine.” 

“You don’t know that, they ended pretty badly. So badly that Hoseok still hasn’t told me. He just said everything happened for a reason and he has to live with his own mistakes and that Yoongi hopefully can move on from both of their mistakes as well.”

“I know Jinnie. I’ve heard it all too, but I swear everything will be okay. Everything will be fine.” 

The doorbell rings. “Wash the fucking dishes, I’ll get the door,” he barks at me, and I laugh. That man worries too much. 

“Oh my god! Yoongles, Yoongles!” I hear Jin scream, “Look at you! Look at you! All grown up.” 

“Jin, if you’re going to act this way I’ll leave.” 

“No, don’t leave! If you leave, I’m scared I’ll never see you again!” They both walk into the kitchen. “Namjoon, Yoongi is here! Yoongi is actually here!” Jin grins.

“Hey Yoongi, long time no see. Are you good?” 

“I’m great. Is everyone going to act this way because I’m just a person. A busy person.”

“So busy for your friends, huh?”

“Too busy for friends, but I’m here. I’m actually staying in New Hampshire for a while. I just finished a huge project in Korea with some friends of mine and decided that I needed to come home. I needed to see my parents, I needed to see my friends, and I need to face things I’ve been running away from.” 

I smiled at Yoongi, “Well, I hope you’re ready to face him tonight because he’s coming!” I said. Yoongi's face dropped. 

“What? Hoseok is coming here? Oh my god, his name sounds so foreign. I haven’t said that name in years. Seokjin! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“If I told you, you wouldn’t have come, and I wanted all my friends here.” 

“Well you’ve got a very lovely place and congrats on the wedding. I hope you guys liked my gift but look at the time. I should get going,” Yoongi turns around quickly. Jin grabs him, “You can’t leave. We just got you back.” 

“I’m not leaving you all again, not any time soon. But this is literally my second day back, I had no plans in seeing Hoseok.” 

“Well, what a great way to tackle your fears, headfirst! Strong start!” I chimed in.

“Namjoon, shut the fuck up and wash the goddamn dishes!” Jin hisses at me.

“Wow, nasty crowd here tonight.” 

“I’ll stay, but If I can’t handle it, I’m leaving,” Yoongi finally bargains.

“Okay, well can you handle that he might be bringing his girlfriend?” 

“His what? Girlfriend? Hoseok has a girlfriend?”

“You knew he was bisexual,” I said, “Why are you so surprised?”

“I don’t know. I just, I don’t know. I should have brought my boyfriend then.” 

“You have a boyfriend? How exciting!” Jin said, “Tell me about him, how did you guys meet? I want to know it all.” 

“Well, he’s a rapper. I met him when I was in LA. I was producing for a client of mine and they wanted to meet at this club, and he was at the club. We planned on working together, we enjoyed each other’s music but then things happened, and we’ve been together for a few months now, known each other for a few years.” 

“Ah, that’s cool.”

“Yeah, I guess. But, look at you two. Married. You guys are married. It was a beautiful wedding; I saw all of Taehyung’s pictures or should I say Vante’s work on his Instagram.”

“Taehyung got pretty big with his photography. He’s booked solid for months. His designs are great too, currently working on a new clothing line.” 

“That’s fantastic. He’s still with Minjae?”

“Happily,” I said.

The doorbell rings again, “I’ll get it!” I said. “Yoongi can you get Jin to stop worrying. He’s been so anxious about today.”

“You’ve got any tequila?” Yoongi asked, “Never mind, just continue talking.” I headed to the door and swung it open. 

“Lawyer Joon, how are you doing today, sir?” Jungkook grins.

“Jungkook, you weren’t at work yesterday, why not?” 

Jungkook decided to follow in my footsteps and become a lawyer, he’s still in law school but I’m letting him be my personal assistant so he could see the things he’d have to deal with. The firm I work for is actually very interested in Jungkook; they might hire him right out of college. They said his personality is great, just what they are looking for. 

“Jimin came down with a cold, and he hurt himself at work. I had to go over and take care of him.” 

“He’s lying. He slept in,” Jimin said walking into the apartment. Jungkook mumbles something under his breath, “Yoongi is that you?” Jimin shouts. “Oh my god, Yoongi!” Jungkook is also very excited, they both ran to the kitchen, throwing themselves onto him. “We haven’t heard from you. You fucking asshole only contacts Seokjin like the rest of us don’t exist!” Jimin said to him. Yoongi shrugs, “I’m here now. We can talk now.” 

“Namjoon, I got a text from Hoseok. He said he’s downstairs, his girlfriend couldn’t make it. He’s bringing up a cake. He got cake, how sweet?” 

“Okay, and?”

“Hide Yoongi.”

“What the hell? How am I supposed to hide a grown man for the whole night? You invited him. This is your problem.”

Jin rolls his eyes and walks away, “I’m going to go help him. Seriously distract Yoongi or something.” 

I sighed, “Wait, Taehyung is coming up right now, he texted me. He can distract Yoongi.” 

Our front door gets bombarded with loud knocks. “That’s him, open the door!” he turned the handle and in flies in Taehyung with Minjae. 

“I fucking heard Yoongi is here. The Min SUGA is in our presence, everyone.” 

“Min SUGA, what a name, what a man,” Minjae adds. He spent too much time with Taehyung, they both act the same. 

“Oh right, Min SUGA, the famous rapper, producer. You DJ as well I heard?” 

“Yes, I recently started DJing,” Yoongi explained. 

“Who’s missing?” Taehyung asks me from the side.

“Hoseok, but Jin went to help him with the cake,” I say.

“Oo, there’s cake?” 

“I guess, Taehyung. Wait, I haven’t seen you in so long, I missed you.” 

Taehyung smiles, “I’m always missing you Joonie. Life is lonely without you sometimes.” 

“Life is quiet without you sometimes,” I teased. 

“So funny,” he rolled his eyes. The guys stood in the kitchen talking, catching up. There’s so much to catch up on. It’s been five years since we’ve all been here together, it’s weird. 

“If you drop the cake, I’ll drop-kick your ass!” Hoseok hissed as he walks in through the front door. 

“I came downstairs to help you. Not have you make me carry this myself!”

Jin walks into the kitchen, “I didn’t tell him anything,” he whispered to me. Oh boy. 

“Hello! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you all!” Hoseok chirps as he walks in. “We all haven’t hung out since the wedding.” 

Hoseok doesn’t notice right away, Yoongi does. Yoongi stares him down, everyone is quiet. Jimin stands in front of Yoongi, blocking Hoseok’s view. “Wait there’s an extra person, did-.” Hoseok stopped. Jimin moves out of the way. 

They stared at each other, no one spoke. No one breathes. 

“Yoongs?” Hoseok asked. 

“Seokie.” Yoongi said. 

————

**Author's Note:**

> The sequel is in the works!! =) 
> 
> Thank you for all the support!


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